


Gigant

by TheSiegePerilous



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Growth, Is actually a comedy, Lewds in later chapters, Loudcest (The Loud House), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Size Difference, Superheroes, Tokusatsu - Freeform, size change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:00:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 113,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSiegePerilous/pseuds/TheSiegePerilous
Summary: Mankind is under siege by a malevolent entity from beyond the stars. Giant monstrosities wreak havoc upon an unsuspecting, and unprepared populace. And their only hope is for a ditzy, well meaning blonde and her little brother to fight fire with fire.
Relationships: Lincoln/Harem
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

A young woman sits alone in a darkened ally. A Fashionable black jacket worn over her stylish yellow dress, which clung to her generous curves in such a way as to leave very little to the imagination. Under most circumstances she would be considered quite beautiful. However, her tear stained cheeks, sunken, haunted eyes, and the palpable aura of despair emanating from her would quickly dispel such notions.

"I can't believe its over" she murmured to herself, voice cracking at the onset of emotion that followed.

"After all these years, why would he do this to me? To us?"

The woman braced herself as she felt her eyes began to sting, signaling that the tears were to flow anew, when suddenly the world went silent.

The looked around, surprised. Whereas previously, she had willfully isolated herself in her tiny island of misery among the hustle and bustle of the city at large, all that had now vanished. Save for the few square feet of alley she still occupied, there was now only darkness, stretching seemingly endlessly in every direction.

_**It wasn't fair. You didn't deserve that** _ **.**

The woman jumped in surprise. Her mind, confused and conflicted though it was, had registered that a voice had spoken to her, but her ears argued that no such thing had occurred.

_**You deserve so much better** _ **.**

There was that voice again, the words twisting and turning through the contours of her mind, like snakes. The sensation was very unsettling.

"W-who…" she began

_**Would you return the favor, if you could?** _

"I don't understand…"

_**Think of me as your benefactor** _

There was a rush of…something, and despite the fact that she still could not see who, or what it was she was speaking to, the woman had the distinct impression that the voice was speaking from elsewhere now. Somehow, she found that knowledge profoundly disturbing.

_**I can ensure that you are never hurt ever again. More than that, I can give you the opportunity to hurt him back. To drive him to the very depths of despair that you yourself are feeling.** _

There was that disturbance again.

_**But why stop there? Surely there are others who have wronged you. Other debts that should be settled. I can give you the means.** _

Though there was still no outward change in the environment, the woman's every instinct was screaming at her to be terrified. Despite this, for reasons that she herself could not understand, she felt no such thing. Instead, she felt…intrigued…eager even. There was something about the way it spoke that made for a very compelling argument.

_**All you have to do, is…Let. Me. In.** _

The woman paused as she felt the last vestiges of resistance inside her fade her. Then, seeing no reason not to do so, she gave the barest of nods.

That was all it took, apparently.

The woman screamed out as her world exploded into agony most searing, pain most unbearable. She endured, however, even as she felt her body contorting and changing as the darkness around seeped into her very being. And then, underneath it all, she sensed it. The thing that had made this all bearable. The thing she'd been missing all her life.

 _ **Power**_.

* * *

Lori Loud sighed at the sight of her despondent little sister and brother as they climbed into Vanzilla.

"I take it things didn't go well?" She ventured.

"Sixteen times", Leni confirmed, her eyes downcast.

"Cheer up Leni", Lincoln offered from the back seat, "You did much better this time. Its not your fault all those chickens got loose."

Lori smiled. Her little brother was ever the optimist.

"Lincoln's right", she affirmed, meeting her little sister's gaze. "You've worked so hard at this Leni. Next time I'm sure you'll pass".

Leni's eyes moistened, clearly touched by encouragement of her siblings.

"Thanks, you guys", she said, dabbing her eyes, "That's supes sweet".

Lori's reply was interrupted by a sudden tremor that shook the vehicle, startling her. She failed to notice the look that was exchanged between her siblings.

"Oops, I think I forgot my purse inside." Leni said, entirely too loudly and suddenly. "Linky, would you come with me to get it?"

"Gladly", Lincoln agreed, unbuckling his seatbealt.

It took Lori a moment to regain her senses, but that was all it took for her brother and sister to vanish. Her big sister instincts kicking in, Lori drew her phone and hit the speed dial with practiced ease. A happy jingling resounded in response and drew her eyes to the culprit. Leni's purse, placed only a short distance away on the dashboard.

* * *

"Sorry Linky!", Leni apologized as the siblings rounded the corner of the DMV, safely out of sight of their older sister.

"Not your fault Leni" Lincoln consoled her with a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "It's not like we planned for this."

Lincoln turned his attention to a small, innocuous band made of some indiscernible material wrapped around his wrist. Normally it appeared to be quite plain, not the sort of thing that would draw much attention. Now, however it shined with a luminescent glow.

"Is that what I think it is, Seven?" He asked the band.

 _Indeed_ , a voice murmured, directly into his mind. A quick glance at his sister confirmed that Leni was privy to the conversation.

_Sending you the location now._

A momentary flash of insight, and Lincoln suddenly knew with certainty where the disturbance was coming from.

 _Time is of the essence. I suggest you take the fastest possible route_.

Understanding suddenly dawned on the siblings, and a momentary, mutual blush was exchanged between them.

"Do you mind, Linky?" Leni asked, shyly.

"Not at all Leni", he affirmed, trying to fight the sudden onset of nervousness. "Just try to be a little more careful this time".

"I promise" Leni said, nodding. Then she effortlessly scooped up her little brother into her arms and exploded forward with an inhuman burst of speed.

Lincoln clung tightly to his big sister as the scenery blurred around them, in anticipation for what was likely coming. His hunch was proven right only moments later, when with a single pump of her powerful legs, Leni sent the pair hurtling into the sky.

Leni smiled beatifically at her little brother as the wind howled around them, the momentum from her leap carrying them far into the distance.

"You okay Linky?"

"I'm fine, Leni, you're getting much better at this."

Leni blushed at the complement, pleased. However, this did not last long, as their query finally came into view.

An impossibly curvaceous, and utterly enormous woman stomping down main street, leaving destruction in her wake. She had to be at least 50-feet tall and was roaring like something out of a monster movie. Lincoln would have found the situation amusing if it hadn't been for the screams of terror ringing in the air.

"Not again", Leni murmured, sadness evident in her eyes.

_Visual confirmation attained. I suggest that Ms. Leni set us down a safe distance away so we can begin._

"Right" Lincoln agreed, looking to his distraught sister. He laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder, drawing her from her reverie. Seeing her little brother's look of concern allowed Leni to find her resolve, and with a practiced twist of her body, she send the pair hurtling towards the ground.

Leni stuck the landing with neither sibling no worse for wear, the small crater the pair were now standing in being the only indication that anything unusual had happened. Lincoln hopped out of her arms and looked to his wrist band.

_Ready for transference. Standing by._

Lincoln looked to his sister. "You ready for this Leni?"

"Y-yeah, Linky", she replied, her voice quivering ever so slightly.

"But…could I have a hug first? For luck?"

Lincoln smiled at her, and gave Leni the biggest hug he could manage, which she eagerly returned.

"You're going to do great, Leni" he said, tightening his grip "I believe in you".

Another tremor, much more violent than before interrupted the heartfelt moment, reminding the siblings that there was still work that needed to be done.

 _Still standing by for Transference,_ Seven intoned. The disembodied voice never spoke with anything but the utmost calm. Despite this, Lincoln could swear he detected a hint of irritation in its tone.

"Ready when you are, Leni" Lincoln said, a slight undertone of embarrassment entering his words. Leni nodded, clearly embarrassed herself, but nevertheless closed her eyes and leaned forward.

Lincoln, appreciating her consideration, tilted his head upward, and met his sister's lips with his own in a soft, tender kiss.

It was surprising to Lincoln just how quickly he'd gotten used to this. But there were a great many unpleasant things in this world, and kissing Leni Loud was not one of them.

 _Beginning Transference_.

Lincoln braced himself as he felt the familiar torrent of energy pour forth from his body and into Leni. The rush of power threatened to send him flying away, but Leni, apparently sensing this, wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, simultaneously securing her little brother and deepening their kiss. At long last, the torrid of energy built to a crescendo, and with a blinding flash of light the process was complete. Lincoln sank to the ground, spent. The light finally dissipated, and where Leni Loud had once been now stood an enormous woman, clad in form fitting, seafoam spandex. A tinted visor across her eyes serving as a surprisingly well to obscure her identity from casual observation.

_Transference complete. Gigant Green, you are cleared for combat._

"OKAY SEVEN!" Leni boomed, the deafening volume of her voice nearly knocking Lincoln prone.

"Oops", Leni said with a sheepish grin, now taking great pains to control her voice.

"Sorry Linky". She knelt down and inspected her little brother (now even littler) with a worried eye.

"It's fine, Leni" He called up, smiling in spite of himself. As imposing as her new stature was, Gigant Green was unmistakably still his beloved big sister.

Leni held out her hand, allowing Lincoln time to crawl into it, then carefully stood to her rather impressive full height. She gently deposited Lincoln onto her shoulder, and he secured himself to her collar, their movements coordinated like that of a well-oiled machine.

"Alright, Leni", Lincoln shouted, "Let's do this!"

"Right Linky!"

And with that, Gigant Green strode off to combat the surprisingly attractive monstrosity that was still ravaging the city.


	2. Chapter 2

Leni Loud strode purposefully, her enormous footsteps echoing loudly around her. She was confident. She was fashionable.

***SMASH***

She…was going to have to pay for that, wasn't she?

"Don't worry about it, Leni!", Lincoln called into her ear, "If you abandon your car in the middle of a giant monster attack, I'm pretty sure you're asking for something like that to happen."

"R-right, Linky" Leni replied, her cheeks coloring despite her brother's assurances.

" _Gotta focus"_ , Leni thought to herself as she continued forward, now making the effort to be extra aware of her surroundings." _Keep your eyes on the road. Look both ways before crossing an intersection. And always be aware of oncoming…"_

"CAR!"

Leni looked up just in time to see the aforementioned vehicle hurtling through the air directly at her.

"Eep!" Leni squeaked in surprise. Her head jerked to the side reflexively, causing the missile to pass harmlessly by.

The point of origination for the projectile was easy enough to ascertain. The other woman. Still so very large, and so very imposing, stood across the way from her. Her face, which would likely be quite lovely at any other time, contorted in a hateful scowl.

The sheer intensity of that gaze was enough to cause Leni to momentarily freeze in terror, but that was quickly dispelled by the sensation of her little brother's comforting touch.

"You've got this, Leni"

Leni took a deep breath to steady herself, then settled into a combat ready stance. She knew what she had to do.

"Let her have it, Leni!"

"Right, Linky!" She replied, turning her attention to her opponent.

"Hey! Other, giant lady! Could you, like, stop? Please?"

A brief moment of silence settled over the battlefield as the citizens, formerly screaming in terror, and even the monstrosity in question herself, stopped to regard the towering blonde with incredulity.

"I don't think it's going to be that easy, Leni".

"RAAAAAARG!" The woman roared, seemingly in agreement. She then scooped up a handful of debris and flung it at the well-intentioned heroine.

Leni was ready for her this time and wove her way through the barrage with a dancer's grace. She punctuated the completion of her maneuver with a determined stomp of her foot, then lowered her upper body, preparing to charge the woman. It was at this point, that she noticed the distinct lack of a familiar presence on her shoulder.

"Linky?"

* * *

Wind rushed around Lincoln as he plummeted towards the ground, unintentionally dislodged by his sister's movements. He opened his mouth to scream, but was interrupted when he suddenly slammed against something, knocking the wind from his body. Though dazed from the impact, Lincoln still had the presence of mind to marvel at how not-dead he appeared to be.

"LINKY?" A voice thundered from somewhere above him.

_I can assure you he's fine, Gigant Green. Focus on the task at hand._

"BUT WHAT IF HE'S HURT?"

His mind still swimming from the fall, Lincoln fought through the pain and attempted to struggle to his feet, knowing that Leni wouldn't be able to finish the fight if she was busy worrying about him. Funny, the ground was a lot softer than he'd been expecting.

"EEK!" Leni shrieked, far louder this time.

_I told you he was fine._

"LINKY! THIS IS NOT THE TIME!"

" _Not the time for wha-",_ Was all Lincoln's brain managed to process before he was shrouded in darkness, as if the sun had simply blinked out of existence. A moment later, Lincoln lost his footing once more as the world fell sideways. A crash from above, and Lincoln found himself unable to move. His body enveloped by an all-encompassing softness, equal parts wonderful and terrifying.

* * *

Leni's hesitation had cost her, and she now found herself pinned beneath the rampaging giantess, desperately grappling with her foe. Between the fall, the debris ridden ground now digging into her backside, and…other sensations she was dealing with, her position was untenable on multiple fronts, and it was taking all her strength to hold off the other woman.

_You need to regain control of the battle, Gigant Green_

"I know that!" Leni growled, "But Linky's in trouble!"

She winced in pain as her head was slammed against the ground, causing a brief starburst of emerald sparks to erupt around her.

_This sustained assault is taking a toll on your protective field, Gigant Green, you won't be able to survive much more of this._

Leni saved her breath, attempting to focus on the battle at hand. The other woman had the benefit of leverage, and the ferocious nature to exploit it. Leni knew she'd never be able to turn this around unless she could get out from underneath the woman.

Suddenly, the giantess broke the grapple, and raised her arms in preparation for a two handed slam, clearly intending to end the battle in a single blow. Leni allowed herself a small smile. Weary, but determined. This was her chance.

There was a flash as Leni's left hand became suffused with emerald energy. She twisted her body, and with a burst of strength, used her remaining hand to push herself off the ground. The gamble had paid off, and the momentum from her desperate move proved to be just enough to get her within striking distance.

"LENI…PUNCH!" She yelled, ramming her shining fist directly into her foes face. An explosion of raw power erupted from the point of impact, and the feral giantess was sent flying backwards.

Though exhausted from her ordeal, Leni managed to pull herself to her feet. She glanced down, and with an embarrassed smile, gently plucked her brother from the front of her uniform

"Are you okay, Linky?" She asked, trying to keep her voice level.

"That you, Leni?" Lincoln asked, dazed and contused. "What happened?"

"YOU FELL!" Leni yelped, crimson blossoming across her face. Then, after taking a moment to collect herself, she returned Lincoln to his place on her shoulder, not removing her hand until she was sure he could stand under his own power.

A loud crash drew the pair's attention back to the battle at hand, and Leni frowned as she saw the other woman struggling to get up.

_Gigant Green is dangerously low on energy. I would suggest replenishing her supply, if you are able._

"R-right", Lincoln agreed, a strange expression settling upon his face.

Leni looked to her little brother, worried evident on her face. "Are you okay Linky? You shouldn't push yourself."

"It's fine", Lincoln said, crossing the expanse that was Leni's shoulder.

"Actually..." he said, placing one hand against the exposed skin on Leni's neck, "I feel really refreshed for some reason".

Leni had intended to ask what he'd meant by that, when suddenly her body was wracked by an enormous influx of power.

"WOW LINKY", she gasped as revitalizing waves of energy coursed through her, gaining in intensity with every passing second. "THAT'S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN BEFORE!"

 _30%...70%...120%...this is fascinating_ , Seven marveled aloud. _Such a thing shouldn't be possible._

One last burst and Lincoln sank to his knees, his newly discovered reservoir of power now spent.

"RAAAAAAARG!"

And none too soon, it seemed. The sound drew the trio's attention to their foe, who had now regained her footing, and was now slowly but steadily heading their way.

"That's all I've got Leni, can you handle this?"

Leni turned to her little brother and gave him a confident smile. "Don't worry Linky, I've got this".

There was a flash, and an enormous aura of energy exploded into existence around Leni's gargantuan frame.

"Leni?" Lincoln asked, clearly worried.

"It's okay Linky", she assured him, "I just have this feeling…"

Leni concentrated, and the torrent of energy receded back into her, gathering around each her arms and wrapping them in turbulent, shining energy. It bore some resemblance to her earlier attack, but now radiating with far greater intensity.

The ground began to quake as the giantess hurtled towards Leni, now with far a speed far greater than before.

Leni calmly stood her ground and crossed her arms in front of her, the energy stored therein now churning ferociously, seemingly eager to be released. Leni was more than happy to comply, and took a deep breath.

"LENI…BEAM!" She roared as the energy freed itself from her limbs, manifesting as an enormous continuous beam, and rocketed towards her foe. The giantess, unprepared for such a turn, took the emerald blast head on, screaming in agony as it enveloped her.

Leni's attack concluded with one final, blinding flash of light. When the dust had settled, the monster was gone, and in her place lay a confused and attractive, but extremely normal sized woman.

Leni sank to the ground, and let out a sigh of relief, spent in every sense of the word.

Leni smiled as she felt the extremely pleasant sensation of her little brother arms around her neck. A victory hug. Or at least, the best Lincoln could manage, given the size difference. And suddenly, despite all the pain and emotional turmoil she'd been subjected to in the previous battle, it all seemed worth it somehow.

Leni closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment of respite, feeling the last of her energy reserves began to drain from her.

"That was amazing, Leni", Lincoln gleefully exclaimed from his vantage, and Leni's grin deepened so much that her cheeks began to hurt. Totes worth it.

"…But we really need to talk about the way you name your attacks".

* * *

Lincoln sank into his bed, exhausted from the events of the day. His parents had, of course, been furious that he and Leni had run off in the middle of a monster attack without so much as a phone call. But that had been small potatoes compared to the sheer intensity that was Lori. She'd alternated between screaming at them for being so stupid and crying with relief that they were safe until her voice gave out, at which point they'd helped her to her room so she could finally rest.

Lincoln looked to the small band on his wrist, and sighed. He hated doing that to Lori. And he hoped that, someday, when things were normal again, that'd he'd have the opportunity to apologize to her as many times as it took. But for now, this was simply the way things had to be.

Lincoln felt a pair of arms wrap around him, and a familiar, effusing softness press against his back. He smiled to himself, and grasped one of the hands firmly, but affectionately, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Is it okay if I sleep here tonight, Linky?" Leni murmured.

"Of course, Leni", he replied, "Any time".

"Yay", she cheered softly, her voiced sounding utterly drained. Moments later, Lincoln allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by the sounds of her gentle snoring.

* * *

Elsewhere, in a place outside time and space, darkness rippled in irritation. Another failed experiment. Another triumph for its hated foe. But time was on its side, and there would be others. So many others.


	3. Chapter 3

A young woman sat in the chair that had been provided to her, surrounded by the trappings of mundanity. There were certain qualities of the room the leaned towards opulence, such as the fine mahogany wood of the desk before her, and the surprisingly comfortable cushioning of the chair currently supporting her, but in all other respects her eyes told her that she currently resided in an ordinary, albeit high class, business office of some kind. Perhaps normally occupied by some sort of favorably placed upper management type.

Her brain, however, informed her that things were not quite what they seemed, picking out small details that didn't quite fit, despite her eyes insistence to the contrary. The way that every third day on the wall calendar read "Floop", in place of the appropriate day. The way that the photographs, lovingly arranged on the desk, all featured fish or dogs, but never the _same_ fish or dogs as the last time she had looked. And most telling of all, the fact that there appeared to be no exit from the room. The door she vividly remembered entering through only minutes before was now conspicuously absent, and the impressively large window in the rear of the room, the variety which often lead to a balcony of some sort, seemed to be firmly attached to a very oppressive and extremely solid looking brick wall.

And yes, she reasoned, what was the point in worrying? She had brought this upon herself, after all. She was the one who had answered the mysterious wanted ad. She was the one who followed the instructions that were sent to her soon after. She was the one who had stepped through the impressive and awe inspiring Vortex of Darkness that had been waiting for her (their words, not hers), and she was the one who had politely refused a complementary beverage.

Her musings were interrupted as the world around her suddenly stopped.

...Well, perhaps stopped wasn't the appropriate word. "Hitched", or "stalled", might have been more apropos. The phenomenon came and went so swiftly that she might not have noticed at all, were she not in the midst of blinking when it happened. There in between the states of blink and blunk, a transition which normally occurred instantaneously, the woman found time that should not be. Phantom seconds. A moment which, under more typical circumstances, would exist as little more than a sensation, now artificially inflated to such an extent that it became memory.

...and then it was over. Time resumed. The darkness between seconds fading into the recesses of her memory as vision asserted itself once more. And all was as it should be. Except, for the figure now seated across from her.

Her eyes insisted that the individual before her was a man, and nothing more. But she couldn't quite confirm that for herself. There was a general fuzziness to his being. A slipperiness. While she could glean the general impression of an average, yet respectable man, she found that she could not manage the act of actually observing him. Any attempt to look him head on was met with resistance of her own making, as her eyes simply slid over him and found other things to focus on. A wastepaper basket, an antique cuckoo clock, the absolutely exquisite chair he currently resided in, but never the man himself. It was a strange and alien sensation.

 _ **"Now then, Ms...Human"**_ , he spoke, glancing at a small manila folder, which she was fairly certain had not been there previously.

"That's not my name." She replied, somehow finding it within herself to be puzzled in spite of everything.

 ** _"It will do._ "** He said with an air of indifference. She had the distinct impression that he had waved dismissively towards her, but her eyes insisted that nothing of the sort had occurred.

"I disagree." Her eyes narrowed, familiar feelings of annoyance bubbling up, pushing through her discomfort. "You put together a file on me, and you couldn't even get my name right? What kind of operation are you running here?

 _ **"The kind that doesn't care what you think"**_ Came the surprisingly snippy reply.

 _ **"This"**_ He tapped the folder, _**"Is nothing. All of this."**_ He now gestured to the room around them, _**"Is nothing. This is a construct, made to put you at ease."**_

"It's not working." She replied, dryly.

 _ **"How tragic."**_ Her teeth clenched at the blatant mockery. _**"But as I said, it matters not. You not even a name to me. Your kind, even at the best of times, are useful tools, a means to an end. I will not grant your short, pointless existence the dignity of being remembered."**_

"And yet..." She growled, "In spite of all that, you were the one who put a 'Help Wanted' ad on _Greg's List_."

 _ **"Under duress."**_ He hissed.

For a time they simply sat there, her glaring in his general direction, with the distinct impression that he was responding in kind.

She took a deep breath, hoping to calm herself. She needed this. She couldn't allow herself to get too emotional at this stage.

"So why..." She began at last, voice trembling only the slightest bit from her repressed anger. "Do you need me then?"

She felt something resembling a sigh coming from the being. Her vision began to swim as images rapidly began to play before her.

**_"I am a being older than thought. Ancient, even as sapience first began to spread throughout the galaxy."_ **

She focused as the sensory assault intensified, only able to glean the slightest impressions from the montage. Widespread destruction. Planets burning. Suns being extinguished. And underlining it all, terror, both intense and primal. It horrified her. It sickened her. But, to a degree, it also thrilled her, a reaction even she had not expected.

_**"My purpose and pleasure is to consume. The emotions of you lesser beings are especially delectable. Your fear, your anger, your anguish. They sustain me, both literally and figuratively. And so I go where I please, take, what I please, and then I move on to the next world to do it all over again."** _

A dark, chilling chuckle reverberated throughout the room.

_**"I have designated your people as my next source of sustenance. Frankly, you should thank me for the privilege."** _

She tried to swallow, trying to ignore her heart hammering in her chest. "So I repeat, why do you need me?"

She could _feel_ the frown emanating from the creature, and relished the small victory.

_**"I don't particularly care for that word. Need. It is unbecoming."** _

She shrugged. "If the shoe fits..."

Silence fell upon the room again, and the woman allowed herself a small smirk. A small part of her recognized that baiting the cosmic horror wasn't an especially smart move, but it was cathartic, and strangely life affirming.

**_"Until now, I have always taken the direct approach. I feed, you are fed upon. However, there are occasions when my prey manages to assert some semblance of resistance."_ **

She winced as the flowing images now began to coalesce, forming a much clearer image. Two women, titanic in size, both beautiful and powerful, battling for dominance in the middle of a crowded city. One of them especially familiar to her."

"L-Leni!" She blurted out, and immediately regretted the outburst as the images stopped, and her surroundings suddenly grew oppressive and intense.

 ** _"Yes."_** He said after a time, the void receding, and the room reforming around her once more, a semblance of normalcy reestablished.

_**"Or at least, beings like her. They are called Gigants, the products of a civilization long** _ **past."**

The smugness radiating from him left no uncertainty as to why that civilization was no longer around.

 _ **"This one..."**_ She felt the frown return, _**"Is stronger than her predecessors, which has allowed her to best me."**_

"Twice." She blurted out, cursing herself for being unable to keep her mouth shut.

Another flash of intensity, this time mercifully brief.

 ** _"Which has allowed her to...twice...best me."_** He eventually conceded, grudgingly. _ **"It vexes me."**_

Suddenly the room was back in full. The desk, the photos, the cuckoo clock.

 ** _"I need to evaluate this...anomaly. And for that, I must proceed with..."_** There was a pause as the creature struggled to complete the sentence.

 _ **"...Caution."**_ He spat out at last, clearly unhappy with the admission.

"So where do I fit in?"

**_"I need resources. Normally I would simply take one of you creatures and acquire what I need by force. However..."_ **

A grimace. **_"That battle..."_** A twitch of irritation. _**"Those TWO, previous battles proved to be surprisingly costly. It would be foolhardy to proceed without knowing what caused these...setbacks. Thus, I have decided to employ one of you to be my proxy."**_

"...And you thought the best way to do this was an internet message board?

 _ **"It was a passing amusement. Besides..."**_ A smug smirk. _**"...it worked, did it not?"**_

She sighed. "Well, the economy's not great right now. Plus..." She twitched slightly as a rush of anger briefly bubbled up. "I'm not particularly fond of Big Green myself."

**_"Wonderful."_ **

The woman flinched as a small, spherical object dropped into her hands, roughly the size of a baseball.

"This...?"

**_"Is an orb."_ **

"Do space monsters not feed on creativity?"

A glower of annoyance. **_"I could always start now."_**

She swallowed. "Orb it is."

 _ **"Quite right."**_ Smugness. **_"The orb is a device that collects and absorbs human emotions. I need you to go out and fill it up. The more base and negative the emotion, the better."_**

That sounded easy enough. Royal Woods wasn't exactly Sunshine City right now.

"Does this mean I got the job?" She ventured, trying not to sound too hopeful.

**_"It means you have a chance. Impress me, and I might have something more permanent for you."_ **

"Fine." She sighed in resignation. "But I don't subjugate humanity for free."

There was that chuckle again. _**"Very well, I'll humor you. Complete the task to my satisfaction and I will arrange for payment. I believe it will be worth the amusement."**_

The woman climbed to her feet as the wall behind her began to contort, eventually forming the shape of a door. She started towards it, then stopped, hesitating.

"I feel like if I'm going to be working with you, I should have some kind of name to call you by."

**_"Your Eminence, has a nice ring to it."_ **

"Maybe something that rolls off the tongue a little better?" She deadpanned, surprised at how quickly she had acclimated to conversing with the thing.

**_"How droll. Very well. To most, I am referred to as..."_ **

The woman cried out in pain as a loud, wordless shriek reverberated throughout the room.

**_"Well that was delightful. If nothing else, I suppose you can serve as some variety of emergency rations"_ **

She glared in the general vicinity of the eldritch monstrosity as he appeared to take delight in her torment.

 ** _"Fine, fine."_** He said, regaining his composure. **_"I suppose in your tongue, the closest approximation would be...'The Dark'. Though I believe, 'Darkness', would be a more fitting, given your grammatical conventions."_**

"It's certainly an apt description." She replied, dryly.

 ** _"Indeed."_** The door behind her swung open. **_"Now begone, Human."_**

The woman grumbled as she stomped towards the door. No turning back now.

"Make the check out to Fiona!" She called over her shoulder as she exited back into the world. The only reply was a loud hissing noise as the door slid shut behind her, then faded from view.


	4. Chapter 4

Lori frowned in concentration as she leaned around the corner, attempting to get a visual on her prey without alerting them to her presence.

Said prey, her younger sister and brother, were sitting on the couch playing video games. She strained her ears, trying to hear what they were saying to each other over the noise of the tv.

_"Something, something, LENI PUNCH!"_

_"Something, Leni, something, something."_

_"Something, Linky, something, Punch?"_

Lori let out a silent groan of frustration. Obviously she wasn't getting anything useful from over here. She began to scan the room with her eyes, looking for a route that would get close enough to be in hearing distance, without getting spotted.

It wasn't that Lori enjoyed spying on her siblings, but their behavior as of late had been worrying her. Yes, Lori had been...somewhat high strung as of late. Getting let go from _Gus'_ when she was trying to save up money for college was an extremely unexpected and stressful setback. Then there was the breakup with Bobby...and the recent rash of giant monster attacks.

Lori flinched as memories of the most recent attack assaulted her. Getting the news that the city was being destroyed (again). Realizing that Leni and Lincoln were nowhere to be found. Running around in a panic, desperately trying to find her missing siblings, until she reluctantly drove home and collapsed on the couch, a tearful, sobbing wreck. Only for the pair to show up later than night. Tired, and scruffed up, but otherwise fine. Albeit, without a convincing explanation for where they'd been all that time.

_"I told you Lori, I was looking for my shoes."_

_"Purse, Leni."_

_"Thank you, Linky. I told you Lori, I was looking for my purse Leni."_

The two had been weirdly inseparable lately. Granted, they'd always been close, but now they were basically tied at the hip. Even now, with all that couch space available to them, Lincoln was practically sitting in Leni's lap! She couldn't even remember the last time he'd asked to sit in _her_ lap!

Lori blinked, surprised at the suddenness of the last thought. The point was, sneaking off in the middle of a city-wide disaster was only the most recent instance of Lincoln and Leni's weird new co-dependence. And as their big sister, it was her duty to make sure they were happy, and well cared for.

"There you are Lori!"

Lori shrieked in surprise, then spun around, red face and angry.

"Lucy!" She growled reflexively. Then stopped, realizing that the quietest Loud was nowhere to be found. The perpetrator was, in fact, her mother, looking rather abashed.

"Sorry, sweetie." Rita apologized "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's literally okay, mom." Lori said, blushing in embarrassment. "I was just thinking about...stuff."

"Well, I'm not surprised." Rita smiled at her daughter good naturally. "You've got that interview today, right?"

She did, and that certainly wasn't helping her stress levels. There weren't a lot of local opportunities for inexperienced 17-year olds in Royal Woods, especially with the way the recent attacks on the city had affected the local economy. Even Flip had found himself with surplus of down-on-their-luck youngsters willing to swallow their pride, and _he_ paid them in expired Flipees for the first few weeks of their employment.

Lori, in a surprising turn of good fortune, had managed to snag herself an interview at a local law firm, _Vandal, Vandal, and Dershowitz_ , who were doing gangbusters with the recent rash of workplace and personal injury claims that had become all too commonplace as of late. It was for an unpaid internship, nothing especially exciting. But it would get her foot in the door, and potentially lead to bigger and better things.

"–Lori?"

Whoops, there she went again.

"Sorry mom, could you repeat that?"

Rita gave her daughter a patient smile. "I was asking if you'd like me to give you a ride down town. One less thing for you to worry about, right?"

Lori shot one last glance at her younger siblings, still laughing and playing together, and a small twinge of jealousy bubbled up inside of her.

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks mom, that would be great. In fact, I should probably start getting ready right now."

* * *

Fiona took a deep breath to steady her nerves.

 _"Nothing to worry about"_ she silently reassured herself. _"The hardest part's already over. Probably."_

She desperately hoped it was. Darkness' instructions hadn't given her much to work with. Find a bunch of sad sacks and suck out all the juicy negativity. But, Fiona felt that she'd risen to the occasion rather admirably.

Morale in Royal Woods had been faltering as of late, with the last vestiges of hop being pinned on a certain, gargantuan, spandex clad hero. But that didn't help her much. She couldn't exactly run around at random, waving her orb around like a kid with a butterfly net. What she needed was a place where all that despondency would come to her. Enter _Vandal, Vandal, and Dershowitz_ , a local law firm which she had discovered, thanks to a little internet research, was turning a tidy profit in light of recent events.

The office was nice. Almost too nice, she had very nearly been turned away by security at the front door, presumably for not meeting the expected standards of their clientele. But a quick sob story about how her poor grandpa had been terribly injured in during the last attack, and they'd welcomed her with open arms and dollar signs in their eyes.

Fiona didn't need supernatural senses to know that she'd hit the jackpot. From the moment she walked into the lobby, she could feel it in the air, see it in the eyes of everyone here. Avarice. Despair. Anger. And sprinkled liberally around, the most desperate kind of hope. This place was a veritable smorgasbord of bad vibes, and exactly what she needed. All that was left was to find a nice, quiet place to start soaking it all up, and then she could get the heck out of dodge.

A quick lap of the floor had appeared to provide her with exactly that: a utility closet. Unlocked, empty, and away from prying eyes. It had seemed like serendipity was smiling upon her, and she discretely availed herself of her newly discovered hiding spot at the earliest opportunity. There was only one, small problem. She couldn't figure out how to get the orb to work.

Darkness hadn't bothered to give Fiona any instructions on how one actually used the thing, so she had assumed it would be self evident. Sadly, this was not the case. To the naked eye, the orb was exactly that. A small, obsidian-colored sphere, completely devoid of any sort of operating mechanism. Fiona had run her hands all over the thing, expecting to find a button, a switch, a dial. Literally anything that could potentially set it from _Off_ to _Consume_ , but it was to no avail.

From there, Fiona had moved on to less conventional methods. She'd tried shaking it. She'd tried rubbing it, like a magic lamp. She'd even tried _asking_ it to work. Nicely, at first, then progressively more desperate, and finally threatening outright violence upon the device. Nothing. It simply sat there, as dark as its creator. Literally unmoved by her pleas.

Knowing that she couldn't possibly remain unnoticed indefinitely, and absolutely dreading the thought of having to trudge back to Darkness empty handed ( _ **"Oh my. You couldn't even figure out how to turn it ON? Well done, Human. Well done indeed."** ) _Fiona twitched in irritation as the imaginary Darkness in her head began to clap sarcastically. Did Darkness even _have_ hands? Like, functional, nonmetaphysical hands? Well, he was an eldritch space horror from beyond the stars, so presumably he could grow them if he wanted to. And he _would too._ Just to _mock_ her. Because that was exactly the kind of prick he was!

With a wordless cry of outrage, Fiona picked up the uncooperative device and _hurled_ it at the wall as hard as she could, only realizing what she was doing just as the sphere flew from her fingers. Too little too late, unfortunately, the orb collided with the wall with a resounding crash. Then fell to the floor with a second, slightly diminished crash, as if to underscore her mistake.

Fiona took a few seconds to reflect upon her actions, desperately trying to put off the moment where she'd have to examine the remains of the orb, and personally confirm her failure. That was when the humming started.

It started low, nearly imperceptibly so, to the point where she couldn't tell if she was imagining it or not. Then it grew in volume, clearly making it's presence known. It grew louder still, the intensity of the sound making it painful to listen to. That's when the it started sparking.

Acknowledging that the situation was well and truly beyond repair (in every sense of the word), Fiona quickly exited the closet and fled as fast as she could. No need to see what the next stage of the device's breakdown would bring, she'd take her chances with Darkness, and the hands he may or may not actually possess.

* * *

Lori was only a few steps away from full on hyperventilation as she approached the lobby elevator. She tried to reassure herself that it was just an internship. That there were bound to be other opportunities in the future. And that most of all, no matter how things turned out, her family would always love and support her. At this, a image of Lincoln and Leni cuddling on the couch came to mind, unbidden, and her panic attack was briefly replaced by a surge of irritation. However, both the image and the moment passed as quickly as they had come, and anxiety quickly took its place.

A short _ding_ interrupted her reverie as the elevator finally arrived, and Lori stepped lively forward, unwilling to miss her ride.

"After all" She muttered to herself, as the elevator door closed behind her "It's not like its the end of the world if they don't pick you, right?"

As is _trying_ to prove her wrong, the utterance of that phrase coincided with the elevator shaft being rocked by a massive blast of force, knocking a very confused Lori to the ground. Anxiety giving way to full blown terror, Lori opened her mouth to announce her feelings in the form of a loud, and hopefully therapeutic scream. It was at this point, that she noticed the elevator trembling around her. The trembling ceased as a loud, terrible snap echoed through the air, and the elevator fell. No longer under its own power, but subject to the cruel whims of gravity. Lori finally managed to release the shriek that had been building within her as the elevator plunged into the darkness below.

* * *

Lincoln sighed in satisfaction and leaned back into the couch cushions, energy spent, vaguely aware that Leni was mimicking his actions just out of view. Operation: Show Leni a Really Good Time and Help Her Relax And Maybe Think Of a Shorter Name For This Operation was going swimmingly.

Leni had been through a lot lately. His gentle-natured sister had been drawn against her will into a conflict that she had been wholly unprepared for. And despite her insistence to the contrary, it had been clear that that the strain of the battles, the super heroics, and the constant need to lie to their family about what they'd been up to were taking a toll on the girl. Not to mention the strange interest Lori had taken in their...extracurricular activities as of late.

Lincoln frowned as the furious face of his older sister flashed through his mind. He couldn't blame Lori for feeling the way she did, he fully empathized with her. And it's not like she was wrong to be suspicious, he and Leni had been lying to her. And for some time now. But...it needed to be done. Bad enough that Leni had to shoulder the burden of defending humanity, largely by herself. The pair had agreed that, as painful as it was to keep secrets from the family, the best way to protect their loved ones was to keep them as uninvolved as possible.

"Linky..." Leni mumbled, sounding as spent as he felt. "Can you turn on the tv? I just wanna rest for a bit."

"Sure thing Leni." He replied, fumbling for the remote. There would be plenty of time to ruminate on their constant betrayal of their family's trust. Right now, the important thing was to keep Leni happy.

_"This is Katherine Mulligan, coming to you with a special report. I'm currently in downtown Royal Woods, where a local business has literally collapsed."_

Lincoln sat up in surprise, the blood in his veins turning to ice as the camera panned over the building wreckage. What had clearly been a shining example of architectural prowess, was now a pile of rubble. And not a particularly stable one at that.

"Linky..." Leni intoned worriedly at his side, "Wasn't Lori going to be down town today?"

 _"I'm being told that eyewitnesses reported a loud noise, akin to an explosion, only moments before the building itself imploded. The building has been identified as being the home office of a local lawfirm:_ Vandal, Vandal, and Dershowitz. _Representatives have yet to confirm if they will be handling the claims for damages that are sure to be forthcoming themselves, or if–"_

"Leni" Lincoln snapped, shutting off the TV. "We have to _–_ WOAH!"

Lincoln's words died in his throat as his older sister snatched him up in her arms and barreled outside at full speed, only slowing long enough to avoid smashing through the front door.

* * *

 _I must advise against this._ Seven intoned from his place on Lincoln's wrist.

Lincoln gave the device an irritated smack, knowing full well that it would neither hurt, nor silence the mechanical being. But it made him feel a little better. And, more importantly, it served to distract him from the nauseating array of colors and shapes that hurtled past him, his ever present companions while flying Air Leni.

"Lori's in danger." Said Leni, her tone booking no room for discussion.

 _You have no way of knowing this._ Unless you were some sort of alien, artificial intelligence with no knowledge of social cues, apparently.

"A sister knows." Came the blonde's confident reply, angling both herself, and her distressed passenger for another burst of speed.

_We have too little information as to the situation. At this time, there is no indication that the enemy is involved. You are needlessly expending both time and energy that could be better saved for future conflicts._

"Lori's more important." Leni challenged.

"End of story." Lincoln said, nodding in agreement. Moments later, a sudden burst of acceleration sent the pair hurtling forward with even greater speed.

* * *

Lori drifted back into consciousness, and immediately regretted doing so. Darkness and a splitting headache were all that awaited her as she made the transition from a relatively benign dreamscape, to the harsh, metaphorical light of day.

Around her she could hear moans of pain and grunts of displeasure. People like herself, presumably only just awaking to the cruelty of reality.

Lori tried to move, if for no other reason than to hopefully massage away some of the intense pain she was feeling. Terror flooded through her as her body refused to comply, bringing to mind the very real possibility that she had been paralyzed. It abated somewhat as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, her dilated pupils revealing that she wasn't paralyzed at all. She was merely buried under an enormous pile of rubble. Great.

 _"You know, those two things aren't mutually exclusive."_ Her brain helpfully supplied.

"Shut up, brain." Lori slurred, trying to gather her wits.

As she gathered her thoughts, Lori found herself regretting many things. The profoundly uncomfortable high heels she'd chosen to wear to her interview, not knowing that they may very well serve as her funeral dress. Her decision to take the stupid interview in the first place. But most of all, she regretted the very real possibility that the last things she would ever say to Leni and Lincoln, was a unintelligible mess of incoherent screaming.

_"I know they weren't trying to worry me. They're not bad kids. They're just...stupid sometimes. Really, really stupid. So...so very stupid. Seriously, running off like that in the middle of a disaster like that? So...stupid"_

She pictured the pair. Laughing. Smiling. And she became vaguely aware of the wetness that was dribbling down her cheeks.

_"I just wanted to keep you safe. Im the big sister. It's my job to protect everyone. That's all i wanted..."_

Shrieks and cries of terror resounded around her as the world began to shake anew. Lori, for the life of her, could not say for certain if her voice was among them. But she was terrified all the same.

A mighty crash resounded the area, and suddenly darkness gave way to light. Lori cried out in fresh agony as the influx of daylight scorched her far too dilated pupils, blinding her.

Lori forced her eyes open and strained against the ensuing pain, desperate to see what new development had taken place.

An enormous shape greeted her, silhouetted by the blinding light of day. She squinted, fighting the urge to close her eyes again, as details slowly began to take shape. Long blonde hair, cresting the form like sunlight. A wide, happy grin, and bright, shining eyes, shimmering with barely repressed tears.

"HI LORI!" Boomed the titan, suddenly extremely familiar to Lori's stress ridden brain.

"..." Came Lori's reply. Literally speechless.


	5. Chapter 5

Fiona's mind had concocted a great many, terrible things that could potentially have been waiting for her upon her return to the lair of the eldritch space horror she was technically working for. And yet, she still managed to be surprised by what she found.

As she passed through vortex, an event which was becoming strangely routine for her, she once again encountered the familiar office space from her previous trip. However, things were different now. The pervasive sense of wrongness that permeated the area was significantly lessened. The boundaries of the room, previously malleable only insofar as to convey a false sense of security upon her were oddly stable now. As she entered, she noted that even the door remained in place as it closed behind her.

However, what greeted her upon her arrival was most surprising of all. Darkness, long time cosmic menace and personal destroyer of untold civilizations, sitting at his desk. Surrounded by piles, and piles of paperwork. And somehow managing to look haggard, despite the fact that his existence was more conceptual than physical.

 ** _"...Do you know what I've been thorough?"_** He intoned, his voice devoid of even the slightest shred of emotion.

Fiona paused to consider the scene before her.

"No." She said at last. "I'm literally incapable of conceiving of any scenario that could lead to..." She gestured at the procedural battlefield before her, "...this."

 ** _"I promised you...payment."_** He spat the last word, as if it was particularly distasteful.

"Yeah, and what was so hard about that?"

 ** _"EVERYTHING!"_** He suddenly roared, startling her. Emotions were back, and in full force.

**_"I have scoured galaxies! Coerced the services of multitudes of short sighted beings, such as yourself!"_ **

Now he stood up and began pacing back and forth. Slowly at first, but with increasing intensity as her fervor grew.

_**"It's always so easy! A pile of semi-precious stones and metals, and they'll do whatever you ask! I adore that part! When their avarice finally proves stronger than whatever sense of morals they might have been hanging onto! It's delightful to see the resignation in their eyes!"** _

Now he turned his eyes(?) upon her.

**_"I was planning on making it special for you. I was going to reveal your ill gotten gains, and then, as you sat there, drooling like the neanderthal that you are...I was going to hit you in the face with it!"_ **

Fiona opened her mouth, then quickly shut it. Unsure as to how to respond to it.

_**"You would have cried, your kind always cry. And bled! There's no way you wouldn't have bled, you have so much blood! And then I was going to laugh. LAUGH AT YOUR PAIN! It would have amused me. It would have SUSTAINED ME! And then, I'd taunt you! 'EVERYBODY LAUGH AT THE CRYING, BLEEDING HUMAN!', I'd say!"** _

Fiona flinched as a chorus of jeers and mockery resounded throughout the room, despite the fact that they were still the only two occupants.

**_"SEE? Just like that! It would have been GLORIOUS!"_ **

Fiona had began to weigh the pros and cons of staying with the increasingly manic creature, versus spinning around and attempting to sprint out the door. The latter option seemed almost guaranteed to incur his ire, but it was looking more and more attractive by the second.

Fortunately, the situation resolved itself, as the creature's posture began to flag. He shuffled back to his desk, and sank down into his comfy looking chair, energy spent.

_**"But, apparently, that's not how things work on this backwards mud hole. There are...tax codes. Banking regulations. So much procedural lunacy!"** _

"...So what did you do?" Fiona asked, genuine curiosity now outweighing her fear of the clearly unstable creature.

Darkness gestured to the window behind him. It was then that she noticed lettering on the window, which had not been there previously. _Darkness Inc._ , it read in neat, precise script.

 ** _"I had to incorporate."_** He rasped, chuckling humorlessly. **_"And I thought I was evil. Your secretary of state is...truly something else."_**

"I'll have to take your word for it." Fiona replied neutrally, still trying to process this turn of events. Seeing that her life no longer appeared to be in imminent danger, she gingerly took her seat.

**_"Now, about your end of the bargain."_ **

Darkness reached for a small device, and gestured with it at the far end of the room. Much to Fiona's surprise, a rather nice television, which she had failed to notice upon her arrival, hummed to life. She glanced at him, questioningly.

 ** _"The office needs renovating to be brought up to code. Apparently OSHA doesn't consider null-space to_** be..." he briefly adopted a comically high-pitched falsetto, _**"a** **'work environment conducive to an employee's continued well being'."**_.

"And the TV?"

**_"The city won't sign off until I install actual foundation, plumbing, electrical wiring, and so forth. I figured, why not? Be careful if you decide to use the rest rooms, by the way, they're in the middle of a hard hat zone."_ **

"...Right."

**_"Now, as to the topic at hand..."_ **

Darkness gestured to the TV and Fiona swallowed nervously. Apparently her handiwork had made the news.

 ** _"I believe I impressed upon you that this was to be done with discretion."_** He scowled, and Fiona idly noticed that her employer was becoming easier to look at. She wondered if it was possible to grow accustomed to observing the unobservable.

"It wasn't _my_ fault!" She protested. "You didn't tell me how to work the stupid thing! How was I supposed to know it could blow up?"

**_"Apparently I had too much faith in your abilities. A child could have worked that device."_ **

"How? It was a friggin sphere!"

**_"It had a metaconceptual interface, you dolt!"_ **

Fiona stared back at the creature, genuinely perplexed. "A... _what_?"

He sighed, deeply. **_"All you needed to do was engage your ninth and eleventh senses. Then, it was just a simple matter of...what? Why are you looking at me like that"_**

She shook her head, uncomprehending. The being halted his tirade, and simply observed her.

 ** _"Human..."_** He asked at last, _**"How does your kind typically operate...tools and the like?"**_

Fiona raised her hands and wiggled her fingers demonstratively.

**_"Are you telling me those appendages are...not, decorative?"_ **

She shook her head.

**_"I see."_ **

Darkness leaned back in his chair.

**_"Well then. It appears mistakes were made."_ **

"You think?" She deadpanned.

 ** _"Don't press me, Human."_** He growled. **_"It is not my fault nature dealt your species an especially cruel_ handicap."**

He leaned forward, folding his apparently decorative hands.

**_"In light of the circumstances, I am willing to give you one more chance. This time, I will take your...limitations into consideration."_ **

Fiona held out her hand instinctively, and a familiar shape dropped into her grasp. A second sphere, nearly identical to its predecessor, but with one notable difference. An extremely large, red button located on one side. Closer examination revealed that the words "Press Me", were prominently displayed upon its surface.

She rolled her eyes. "Can I at least be sure this one won't blow up?"

**_"That depends. Can you follow the instructions?"_ **

Fiona sighed. "Fair enough. I'll be back." She began standing up.

 ** _"One more thing."_** Darkness said, motioning for her to sit back down.

**_"I must once again stress, that this is to be done discretely. With no unnecessary attention drawn to our operations."_ **

She opened her mouth to protest, but the creature motioned for her to keep silent.

**_"That said, I understand that after your earlier...boondoggle, it is entirely likely that our enemies will be on the lookout for such activities. Thus, I am willing to provide you with a contingency."_ **

Darkness reached out and deposited a small object on desk end closest to her. Fiona began to reach out for it, but then stopped, hesitating. She looked to her employer for his approval, and upon receiving a nod of affirmation, picked it up.

The object was roughly the size of her fingertip, shaped like an oval, and jet black from end to end. Her examination completed, she looked to Darkness, assuming further explanation was forthcoming.

**_"What you are holding is an infinitesimally small fragment of my essence. I call it a Dark Seed."_ **

"How do I use it?" She asked, the lips upturned, forming the barest hint of a smirk.

 ** _"Do what you do best. Smash it."_** Came his dry response.

"And that will..?" Fiona prompted, motioning for him to continue.

**_"Crushing the seed will release the energies contained within. In theory, you will then be able to harness them for your own use, for a time."_ **

Fiona examined the seed one more with renewed interest.

"So this'll like, give me super powers or something?"

**_"Of a sort, I suppose."_ **

That _definitely_ sounded interesting. Then Fiona frowned, one particular part of that statement now coming to mind.

"Wait. In theory?"

**_"Normally I would simply irradiate you with my dark energies until it drove you mad, then let you loose upon the world. I presumed you would find this method preferable, experimental or not."_ **

Fiona winced as memories came unbidden. "Yeah, that doesn't sound particularly fun. Alright, I'll try it your way."

**_"Good."_ **

Once again Fiona made to stand up.

**_"Oh human, one more thing."_ **

She glanced in his direction, intending to ask what that one thing was, when–

"Ouch!"

–A small wad of paper smacked her in the face, surprisingly painfully. Fiona growled in irritation, then bent over to pick up the improvised missile. It was a check. Made out to one, "Fiona Human."

**_"See? You didn't bleed or cry. That wasn't the least bit funny."_ **

* * *

Lori Loud stared, mildly nauseated at the sight before her. Her rescue at the hands of Leni, of all people (something she was still trying to wrap her mind around) had taken a considerable amount of time. Though her size and strength had greatly accelerated the rescue efforts, there had been a lot of rubble to sift through. However, her efforts had been rewarded. No deaths, and no major injuries to anyone involved. Truly miraculous, given the circumstances. Though Lori suspected that the firm's legal team would be singing an entirely different tune when it came time to present their claims against the city.

Fleeing the scene and finding a place where Leni could discretely abandon her hero form took even more time, and when they had finally accomplished that, the first thing her siblings did was collapse to the ground, weak with hunger. Seeing as her day was shot, and she wasn't quite ready to return to the tearful, smothering embrace of her family, Lori had suggested they make their way to the mall and get some food.

Which lead to their current situation: Lincoln and Leni collectively devouring an enormous pile of greasy mall food, while Lori watched, mouth agape. It was alien, the way they tore into the banquet with abandon. Leni especially, since the younger girl was among the most health conscious of the Louds.

_The process of initiating and maintaining Ms. Leni's transformed state consumes a considerable amount of calories. It is only natural that she and Lincoln would need to replenish themselves._

Right. So aside from finding out that her little sister was some kind of giant superhero, there was also the whole deal with Lincoln's...friend.

"Right. Thank you...uh, Seven, was it?"

There was an emphatic nod of affirmation from Leni, the younger girl's mouth currently too full of pizza, spaghetti and french fries to permit speech.

With a truly Herculean effort, Leni managed to swallow the entire mouth full of food, and let out a small sigh of contentment.

"He's Linky's robot friend!" She chirped.

"Friends is a little much." Murmured Lincoln.

_It would be more accurate to describe my function as combat advisor._

"Best friends!" Leni proclaimed

Lori giggled at the girl's antics. It felt nice to laugh. Unfortunately, it couldn't last.

Lori leaned forward and motioned for her siblings to do the same.

"I think its time you guys clued me in on what's going on here. Why is Leni a giant?"

"Only sometimes." Leni corrected her.

"Fine." Lori rolled her eyes, but ceded the point. "Why is Leni sometimes a giant? And whats with those other girls who've been attacking the city?"

_I hate to interrupt, Ms. Lori, but there are more pressing issues to deal with._

Lori glanced around, conspiratorially. Nothing seemed amiss.

"Like what?" She inquired.

_At the site of the of accident, I detected faint traces of a very distinct type of energy._

"That dark stuff, right?" Lincoln guessed. "The stuff that drove those other girls crazy?"

_The very same._

"So why's that important?" Lori asked, trying to follow the conversation.

 _Two reasons. First, because it implies that the accident was anything but. The destruction of that building was a deliberate attack on the part of our enemies, though I can't say for certain as to what purpose it served_.

"And the other?" Leni prompted, eyes wide with worry.

_Is that I'm detecting the very same energy at our current location. Our enemy is here._

* * *

Lincoln let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. This was bad.

"Um, question?" Leni asked, needlessly raising her hand. "How come nothing's getting smashed?"

Lincoln saw the confusion evident on Lori's face.

"I think what Leni's getting at," He elaborated, "Is that up until now attacks have just sort of happened, and then we respond to them. We've never had a situation where we know something's going on, and haven't immediately been able to spot the crazy giant lady responsible for it."

_Indeed. And this concerns me, it suggests the enemy may be adapting._

"Great." Lori muttered, "The last thing I needed was for this to get even more complicated."

Though he didn't voice it, Lincoln was in full agreement. It was bad enough knowing that an attack could happen at any time. The implication that there was something more intelligent at work, didn't bode well for them.

"So what should we do?" Leni pressed, glancing around worriedly. "Should I...you know." She flung out her hands to illustrate her point. A curious passerby might assume she was relating a story about a large fish she had caught.

"I think you should probably hold off, Leni." Lincoln suggested, looking down at his wrist for confirmation.

_Agreed. Our foes may not be aware of our presence. It would be foolhardy to surrender the advantage of surprise._

"Then what?" Leni asked, chewing her lip nervously. Lincoln knew she wasn't afraid for herself, but for the people who were likely to get hurt in the crossfire.

"I think Leni should scout out the area." He suggested

"But Linky!" She protested. "I need you for the...uh." Suddenly her face reddened. "Y-you know..."

"Y-Yes, Leni" He quickly responded, seeing the curious look on Lori's face. "But you can cover the most ground out of all of us, with or without me. Take a lap around the mall and see what you can see. Lori and I can look around on our own since we'd just slow you down." He glanced at his eldest sister. "Right?"

"I already feel pretty involved in this, might as well see it through." Lori said with a small sigh.

Then she smiled. "Besides, what kind of sister would I be if I let you two handle this by yourselves?"

Lincoln felt strangely heartened by the knowledge that his older sister would be there to support them. Maybe it was a mistake to keep her in the dark for as long as he had.

"Lincoln and I can head towards Reininger's." Lori continued, "There's a decent stretch of mall between here and there that we can cover on foot. And it's pretty centrally located, so you should be able to get there pretty quickly from no matter where you are. If we see anything, we'll call you. Otherwise, we'll wait for you there, and then figure out how to proceed once we meet up."

_I concur. You have a keen strategic mind, Ms. Lori._

Lincoln smirked at the way Lori preened from the compliment, but he couldn't deny that her plan was solid.

"Alright." Leni agreed, though she was clearly reluctant to do so. "Just..."

Lincoln and Lori began gasping for air, as they suddenly found themselves wrapped up in one of Leni's patented, bone-crushing Leni Hugs.

"Both of you stay safe. Okay?" She pleaded.

"We'll be fine, Leni." He wheezed, and she finally released her grip.

"We promise." Lori agreed, giving her little sister a reassuring smile.

And that was that. Leni spared her family one last, furtive glance, before dashing off.

* * *

"Well that was surprisingly dull." Lori opined as she and Lincoln rounded the last stretch of mall on their route.

"Were you hoping it wouldn't be?" Lincoln asked, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Of course not. I'm just..."

"Worried about Leni?" He supplied.

"How could I not be?" Lori complained. "I know she's a big girl...sometimes more literally than others, but she's still my little sister. She shouldn't have to be dealing with this stuff." She shot him a meaningful glance. "Neither of you should."

Lincoln gave her a noncommittal shrug. She wasn't wrong.

"It is what it is." He said at last

"Well it shouldn't be!" Lori snapped angrily, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

Lincoln took a calming breath to steady himself. She wasn't mad at them, she was mad at the situation. At her own perceived helplessness. It was a feeling that he himself had become well acquainted with as of late.

"Look, Lori..." Lincoln began, turning to his sister. He had been hoping to say something profound, or at the very least reassuring, but nothing was readily forthcoming. He struggled, trying to find something of value to say.

"Lori." He began again, "I think..."

_WHAM_

He didn't get a chance to finish his thought, as his continued inattention finally caused him to collide with something...

"Eek!

...Check that, someone, sending the pair toppling to the ground.

The ground was soft. Extremely, almost excessively so. And warm. It was actually a rather pleasant sensation. In spite of this, a part of Lincoln's mind was screaming very loudly at him that he had to get up, right now! He sighed, almost certain he knew what awaited him beyond the softness, but resigned himself to his fate. He glanced up, and, looking past the extremely shapely landscape upon which he currently resided, saw a very angry, and very female face, literally shaking with barely contained rage.

 _"It figures."_ He thought to himself.

The woman opened her mouth, presumably intending to give him the tongue lashing of a lifetime, then froze, her face contorting into an expression of extreme panic.

"No..." She gasped.

Lincoln winced in pain as his head slammed against the extremely hard and cold ground.

"No no no no!"

Lincoln felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him, gently pulling him to his feet, and he breathed a small sigh of relief through through the pain currently reverberating throughout his skull.

"You okay, little brother?" Lori asked worriedly as she looked him over, presumably looking for visible signs of injury. Suddenly her eyes narrowed and she looked past him.

"Hey! What the hell is your problem!"

Lincoln followed her gaze and saw the young woman from before. Now on her knees a short distance away, cradling something in her hands.

Presumably in response to Lori's call, the girl looked their way, eyes full of fury.

"That little idiot is my problem!" She snarled "Do you know what he almost made me do?"

Then the blood drained from the girl's face, the light of recognition entering her eyes. Lincoln, for the life of him, couldn't figure out why.

_Lincoln! It's her! She's the source of the energy! We need to get out of here, now!_

* * *

"Oh shit..." Fiona murmured.

Of all the people she could have run into, she had to run into Lincoln and Lori Loud. Leni's siblings. Which meant Leni had to be here, somewhere. She glanced around fearfully, almost certain that a giant Leni hand was about to descend from the sky and snatch her up.

"...Problem!?"

Fiona snapped out of her fear-induced reverie, and focused on the glowering (but thankfully normal sized) blonde in front of her. Maybe she could still salvage this.

"I asked you what your problem was!" Lori snapped. Then she paused, a thoughtful look making its way upon her face. "Wait, aren't you one of Leni's friends?"

...Okay, so they knew who she was. Still not the end of the world, there was probably still time for her to–

"Lori!" Lincoln called out, tugging on the older girl's arm. Now he was looking straight at her, a strangely serious expression on his young face. That didn't bode well.

"Lori. She's the one we're looking for. We need to call Leni."

And there it was. The ship had been sunk.

* * *

Lincoln hadn't intended to voice his concerns so loudly, and seeing the girl react to his words, immediately regretted doing so.

Her whole demaenor changed, going from panicked to strangely calm.

"I didn't think you'd find me out so soon." She said, eyes narrowing.

"A-Actually," Lincoln interjected, hoping to diffuse the situation, "This is sort of a misunderstanding."

"The only thing I'm understanding, is that you're planning on calling the Jolly Green Leni on me. So the way I see it..."

She reached into the purse at her side, searching for something.

"...is that I just have to whatever it takes to stop that from happening. Ah, found it."

She produced a small black object. Not an especially threatening weapon.

_Lincoln! I can't ascertain the specific function of that object, but it's absolutely brimming with dark energy! You need to stop her from activating it before it's–_

"Here goes nothing..." She murmured, and made a fist, crushing the object between her fingers.

_–too late!_

* * *

Fiona had been completely unprepared for what the activation of the dark seed actually entailed. It was a rush, no too ways about it. Dark energy coursed through every fiber of her being, making her feel more alive than ever before.

"Ooooh, wow!" She laughed giddily as the euphoria worked its way through her system.

As the energy finished enveloping her, she noticed the changes being effected upon her. Her clothes faded away, her typical, unassuming sweater and jeans combo now being replaced by form fitting, jet black spandex, which clung to her shapely frame like a second skin. She found herself idly wondering if Darkness had deliberately designed the seed to do that, of if was simply a matter of her subconsciously using the seeds power. Regardless, she took a moment to admire how fetching she looked in her new apparel, wishing she had a mirror on hand to see the full effect. She glanced around in the vain hope that she could find some kind of reflective surface to serve as a substitute, and that was when she noticed the far more prominent effect of the seed's power upon her. She was growing.

The mall dwindled around her as her body rapidly expanded in all directions. It felt amazing. There was a brief moment of panic when she found herself pressed against the ceiling of the mall, her frame having apparently grown too titanic for her surroundings. She pushed instinctively, and smiled as she felt the combination of stone and glass pressing against her start to give way. One last push and the deed was done, she let out a cry of delight and triumph as her gargantuan frame crashed through the last vestiges of the structure's resistance.

Now free from her confinement, Fiona admired the destruction she had inadvertently caused, her gaze finally settling on the tiny Louds at her feet.

"Well..." She announced, chuckling darkly. "Isn't this an interesting turn of events."

* * *

"Lori!" Lincoln yelled, desperately trying to get his sister's attention, "We need to get out of here right–"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. The girl's enormous foot crashed down distressingly close to them, the resulting blast of force sending the pair flying.

For the second time in the span of only a few minutes, Lincoln found himself lying pron, head throbbing from blunt induced trauma.

"Lori?" He called out, trying to push through the intense vertigo he was feeling, and climb to his feet.

A groan of pain came in response to his call, and though his footsteps faltered, he followed it as best he could, finally coming across his errant sister. Much to his relief, Lori appeared to be alive and well, albeit buried under a smattering of debris.

"Why do I keep getting buried today?" She whined, as Lincoln pulled her to her feet.

That crisis dealt with, he looked around for the more immediate threat.

_It appears the enemy is distracted. We should take advantage of this._

Lincoln could see what he meant. Rather than pursuing them, as he had expected her to, the giantess had busied herself with the continued destruction of a nearby shop.

"FIRE ME WILL YOU! WHO'S LAZY AND INCOMPETENT NOW!"

Lincoln winced as a disturbingly delighted cackle split the air. The girl was enjoying herself way too much. However, he knew Seven was right, it was only a matter of time before she came after them again.

"Lori!" He snapped, "Call Leni!"

"Can't." She wheezed, a haggard look upon her face. "Phone's busted." She held up what remained of the device, which turned out to be a vaguely-phone shaped mishmash of plastic and electrical components.

Okay, Plan B.

"Seven?" He called out desperately.

_The sheer quantity of dark energy being emitted by that girl is disrupting my communications. At this distance, I am unable to locate, nor contact Ms. Leni_

Lincoln threw up his hands in exasperation. "Great, so we're minutes away, at most, from having an angry giantess come down on us, and we can't get hold of the one person who can stop her!"

_There is one option available to us, Lincoln, though I am loathe to suggest it._

"Seven, what are you...talking...about?" Lincoln asked, his speech slowing as he began to realize what the alien device was suggesting. He glanced at Lori, then back down to the device at his wrist.

"No." He said firmly

"What?" Lori asked

_Lincoln..._

"No! Seven! It's already bad enough that Leni's been wrapped up in this!"

_We have no other options at this time. If we flee, she will surely catch us._

" _What_?" Lori asked again, this time more emphatically.

Lincoln glanced again at his big sister, hesitating.

"Would it even work?"

_Theoretically, the process will work with any compatible female. They merely need to possess a strong enough bond with you for the transfer to be initiated._

Lincoln was about to protest again when he felt Lori's arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace.

"Linky..." She murmurerd, "Tell me what I can do to help, and I'll do it. I swear."

He glanced up at her, fearfully. Not for himself, but for Lori.

"It'll be dangerous." He said, his words stilted with worry.

"More dangerous than being chased by giant, angry lady with a grudge?" She asked playfully, and the pair managed a short, desperate laugh, in spite of the circumstances.

"HOPE YOU ENJOYED ALL THAT OVERTIME YOU STIFFED ME ON! BECAUSE NOW I'M OVER YOU!"

The ground quaked again, reminding them of the urgency of the situation.

"A-alright." Lincoln finally agreed, with one last despondent sigh. "Just...just be careful, okay Lori?"

"I promise, little bro." Lori said, giving him one more reassuring squeeze. "Just tell me what you need me to do."

"I-I need you to promise you won't hate me for this." Lincoln said, blushing as he mentally prepared himself for what would come next.

"...Sure?" Lori agreed, perplexed at the request.

"And also..." Lincoln took one last breath to steady himself, "I need you to kick her ass."

Lincoln pressed his lips against Lori's, feeling the familiar sensation of energy beginning to pour out of his body.

_Energy transfer initiated_

* * *

Fiona sighed in satisfaction, the sensation of reducing Reininger's to rubble with her own two hands proving strangely cathartic . She would have liked to inflict additional revenge on a few specific individuals, but they were nowhere to be found, her transformation having presumably given the mall inhabitants plenty of time to get away. Ah well, that would have to wait for another time. Now it was time to finish what she'd started.

Fiona turned around, ready to pick things up again with Leni's meddlesome family, when suddenly a blinding flash of light erupted from nearby.

There now stood another titan, equal in stature to herself. There was a brief moment of panic when Fiona initially thought that Leni had finally caught up with her, but a moment of reflection revealed distinctions between the two. While she bore the distinct form fitting spandex and vaguely superfluous visor of her counterpart, this giantess had adopted a bright blue color scheme, and wore a snazzy white scarf wrapped around her neck, currently flapping in the wind dramatically. Clearly, she was dealing with an entirely new Gigant.

"Literally...WHAT?" Screeched the giantess, confirming her thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

It was so...mechanically consistent, for things to have turned out this way, surmised Fiona as she began to take stock of the new arrival. There had been a brief, shining moment, where everything was finally going her way. Not only had Darkness' little doodad made her more powerful then she ever could dream of being, but she'd gotten to use it to take revenge on the store that had wronged her. Now she had another giantess to deal with, and a Gigant to boot! If Leni managed to join the fight too, then there was very little chance of her walking away from this.

The most reasonable course of action seemed to be taking the new girl out as soon as possible. Thus decided, Fiona squared her shapely hips and and charged Lori, hoping to take advantage of the girl's confusion.

As Fiona barreled forward, smashing what remained of the the mall beneath her feet, she marveled at the sheer speed of her charge. She had suspected as much from the way she so casually flattened Reininger's, but it seemed that the power of the seed had enhanced her physical abilities considerably, even relative to her size. _"Good_ _"_ , she though, smirking internally as the distance between the two titans rapidly disappeared, she'd take whatever advantage she could get.

She had just about gotten within striking distance when Lori's gaze snapped upward, firmly locked onto Fiona's approaching form. With a practiced ease that seemed atypical for the phone obsessed teenager, Lori stepped into Fiona's charge and smashed one fist into Fiona's face. The sheer power behind the blow was staggering, sending the girl flying backwards, and causing her to _painfully_ land some distance away.

"What the hell?" She shouted, wincing as she tried to struggle to her feet. The pain was rapidly dissipating, presumably another effect of the seed, but still! That punch had hurt!

"I've got ten siblings!" Lori shot back, "Do you really think I've never been sucker punched?"

"Not yet you haven't!" Fiona roared as she charged the girl once more.

Having lost the element of surprise, Fiona opted for a different tactic. She smiled as she saw Lori readying another counter strike. That was exactly what she'd been hoping for.

This time Fiona went low, causing Lori to gasp in surprise as Fiona briefly dropped out of view. She bull rushed the blonde, hoping to take advantage of her low center of gravity to topple the the other girl, at which point she'd be able to pin Lori and pummel the girl at her leisure. Much to her annoyance, the blonde managed to recover just in time and absorb the charge. Leaving the two girls locked, and struggling against one another.

Fiona's rational mind recognized that there was something very stupid about leaving herself in this position. Here, she was, at best, fighting he opponent on equal footing. The smart thing to do would have been to back off, reassess the situation, try for a new, hopefully more advantageous approach. And yet...there was just something about it that called to her. The strength that came with Fiona's new stature had been enthralling. Intoxicating. Her revenge from earlier hadn't just been about catharsis (though it had been a great way to blow off steam), it was an excuse to exercise her newfound power, to feel the mighty brick and stone giving way beneath her limbs. This, was in many ways, the same kind of thing, pitting her raw strength against her rival's, muscle against muscle. The implications of the stalemate were thrilling all their own; Fiona's previously frail body now capable of going pound for pound against another being who could flatten this city with little effort, spoke volumes about her own capabilities. But that thrill simply wasn't enough...Fiona wanted to _win_. To triumph against her rival, overpower Lori, and then stand atop her fallen foe, having proven by her deeds that _she_ was well and truly the strongest!

...Unfortunately, Lori wasn't budging. While Fiona had initially had the advantage, the other girl had recovered miraculously, and now the two titanesses were locked in a stalemate. Fiona discretely glanced around, trying to avoid losing ground to Lori while simultaneously seeking something... _anything_ that could possibly turn the tide in her favor. And just when she was on the verge of despair...she found it. A small, terrified looking white haired boy, standing only a short distance away from dueling giants. It had been a very stupid of him to get this close to the conflict. _Too close_.

With a surge of strength, Fiona managed to shove Lori just hard enough to disrupt the other girl's grip on her. This was the opening she needed.

"Sorry about this kid!" She roared, pivoting on one foot and slamming the other down in the general vicinity of the younger boy in a mighty stomp. Knowing that even though she was unlikely to hit such a small target straight on, the resultant shock wave from her blow would more than likely finish the job for her.

"Lincoln!"

Fiona smiled as her opponent had apparently realized what she was planning, but it was too late. The impact of Fiona's enormous foot slamming into the ground met Lori's sky splitting scream in a glorious cacophony of noise, the sound likely echoing for miles.

Fiona smiled ruefully as the other girl fell to her knees, the anguish upon her face plain as day. She had meant what she'd said before, she hadn't wanted to get the kid involved, but she couldn't afford to lose this fight. And given the helpless state of her opponent, that gambit had paid off in spades.

Fiona trudged towards the grieving Loud. The hard part was over. All she had to do now was put the girl out of her misery, and then she could get out of here. She drew her fist back, preparing to deliver the final blow–

"Hey! Fiona! You need to watch where you're stepping!"

And immediately froze as a high-pitched, obscenely chipper voice rang out from behind her.

... _What!?_

* * *

Fiona turned around, eye twitching in irritation as she prayed with every fiber of her being for that voice to belong to anyone, _literally anyone_ other than...

And there it was. The dust cleared, revealing the extremely recognizable (though thankfully normal sized) form of Leni Loud, standing only a short distance away from the point of impact, her little brother clutched protectively against her ample bosom.

"You need to be more careful Fiona! You almost hurt Linky!"

The blonde's words cause a second, incredibly violent twitch of irritation to make its way through Fiona's entire body. It was an entirely new, and wholly unpleasant experience.

"Leni! You saved him!" A quick glance behind her revealed that giant blonde's dispair has transformed to joy, tears of sorrow now replaced by tears of gratitude. Great, her dramatic turnabout had become a heartwarming family moment.

"Hi Lori!" Leni called out, waving to her much bigger sister. "I'll be up there in just a second!"

Fiona had been about to ask what she'd meant by that when the smaller girl surprised her, by smashing her lips against her little brother's, pulling the younger boy into a deep kiss.

She gave a sidelong glance to her fellow giantess, who seemed to be watching the pair in a similar state of surprise.

"Uh..." She fumbled, not entirely sure how to react here. "Is this something you guys do often?"

"Wha–NO!" Lori roared, blushing bright red. There was something about her reaction that Fiona couldn't quite put her finger on. It was like...she was embarrassed, but not displaying the level of disgust Fiona would have expected from someone seeing her siblings enter into a passionate make out session. Speaking of which, _wow_.

She realized on some level that she should be taking advantage of this distraction, but for whatever reason she couldn't take her eyes off the tiny pair. The kiss had moved beyond makeout session, and had now transitioned into something very sensual. There was something strangely alluring about the way the younger boy clearly knew how to please his partner, his tiny hands flying expertly over the larger girl's body, eliciting sequels of delight and moans of pleasure in equal portion. Fiona had _never_ been with a guy who'd made her feel half as good as Leni seemed to be feeling. Her thoughts drifted back to earlier, when Lincoln had lain atop her after accidentally knocking her to the ground, face buried in the valley of her cleavage. She wondered what it might have felt like if he had followed suit with her at the time. Would she have been the one mewling like a kitten as he touched and teased her prone form.

Her thoughts drifted further still. W-what if the same situation was applied to her current state? Lincoln, how settling into the very literal valley of her now titanic breasts. The erogenous zones of her her body now far more readily available to his skilled, wandering hands. She let out an involuntary shiver of delight as the various possibilities flashed through her mind.

...And then the moment past. Leni and Lincoln parted, a look of disappointment settling onto Leni's face, though Fiona couldn't be certain as to what that pertained to. The fault clearly did not lie with her little brother, Leni had made her enjoyment of their little sibling bonding moment very, very clear.

"Lori! It's not working!" She called out, pouting.

 _"That's okay, Leni"_ Came an incredibly sinister sounding voice from directly behind her. Fiona gulped as she heard the distinct sound of 10, individual knuckles being cracked in sequence.

_"I think I've got this one"_

* * *

Lincoln, still dazed from his exertions with Leni, still had enough presence of mind to marvel at the sight of Lori unleashing her sisterly fury upon Fiona. With a mighty roar, Lori delivered a right hook directly to the other girl's face, so powerful was the blow that Lincoln could physically feel the impact from where he was standing. As the enemy giantess went reeling from the blow, Lori capitalized on the girl's dazed state by following up with an equally powerful left hook, then an uppercut, sending the girl flying up up into the air. She finished the combination by leaping up into the air after her, in clear defiance of every law of gravity, and delivered a powerful flying axe kick to the airborne girl's skull, an explosion of cerulean energy punctuating the blow at the point of impact, and sending her opponent crashing to the ground, where she lay still.

Lori landed, surprisingly lightly on her feet, and let out a sigh of satisfaction, dusting her hands off .

"Next time, pick on somebody your own size." She quipped.

"Wow." Lincoln said, staring at his biggest sister with no small amount of awe. The the sight of her shapely, spandex clad form standing over her fallen opponent, stirring something inside him.

"Totes" Leni agreed, breathlessly. From the expression on her face, she was clearly sharing his admiration of their sibling.

The battle was finally over.

* * *

Seeing that her opponent appeared to be well and truly out of the fight, Lori carefully made her way over to her siblings, letting out a soft sigh of relief as she did so. She crouched down next to them, spent from her fight. Now that she was no longer fighting for her life, she finally had a chance to appreciate just how strange it was to be so much larger than her siblings. She had a powerful urge to pick them up and cradle them against her protectively, presumably because of what had nearly happened to Lincoln, but she managed to rein those urges in. Her nerves were shot from the accumulated trials of the day, and she didn't trust herself to treat her siblings with the care they deserved.

"Way to go Lori!"

"You were totes amazing Lori!"

Lori preened, allowing herself to bask in the praise of her adoring brother and sister. She had felt she had acquitted herself quite well under the circumstances, what with surviving a collapsing building AND stopping a rampaging giantess in the same day. Not bad for her first time out as a superhero.

"I just wished I'd gotten to join you." Leni exclaimed, pouting in disappointment. Lori shook with barely repressed laughter at the sight of her (very) little sister, and her (extremely) little brother's attempts to console her. Those two were just...so freaking cute...

"Um...yeah", Lincoln said, blushing in embarrassment. What was up with that anyway?

 _Gionic energy is extremely volitile._ Seven intoned. _The human body can only safely store so much of it._

"So that means that Lincoln can only make one of us grow at a time?" Lori asked

_Affirmative._

"Aww! Leni exclaimed "But I totes wanted to be giant with Lori! That would have been so much fun!"

Lori pictured this same moment being shared with an equally large Leni. Her not-so-little sister leaning against her as they relaxed from a hard won battle. Their adorable little brother snuggling up against their gigantic frames. She had to agree, that certainly did sound nice...

_It's possible that, with practice, Lincoln might eventually grow sufficiently accustomed to the power he wields, so that he might be able to safely store enough to maintain a second Gigant. Or even more._

"Really?" Leni asked, eyes shining with excitement.

_It's possible. You three has displayed a proficiency with these powers far beyond any I have personally witnessed. But that is a matter for future discussion, we have a much more pressing issue at hand._

"What's that?" Lincoln asked, eyes wide with worry.

_That girl who wielded the dark energy. She is gone._

Lori jumped to her feet, wincing as the movement inadvertently knocked over her siblings.

"Sorry guys" She apologized, before resuming her examination of their surroundings. Seven was right. The very noticeable form of the curvaceous giantess was nowhere to be seen.

"Dang it!" The Louds exclaimed in unison.

 _...Indeed_.

* * *

Lori, now at her normal size and attire, trudged up to her family home, her siblings in tow. She wasn't looking forward to the avalanche of affection she was sure to receive from her distressed family members the second she stepped through the door, but she'd been putting this off long enough. She gave one last look to her brother and sister, and after receiving their nods of affirmation, reached for the front door...

...and effortlessly tore it off its hinges.

Mouth agog, and still holding the object in one hand, Lori turned to her siblings, her body language clearly conveying her confusion.

"Oh...right." Lincoln laughed nervously. "One small thing I forgot to tell you about. Turns out, there are some side effects when you guys use that gionic energy stuff..."

"You think?" Lori deadpanned, gesturing with the door still clenched in her hand.

* * *

Lori growled in frustration and sat up in bed. Try as she might, sleep just was not coming. She glanced to the side, hoping to maybe engage Leni in conversation, but saw that her little sister's bed was vacant. Not even slept, as a matter of fact.

Feeling like she had a pretty good idea of where her errant sister was, Lori climbed to her feet and began to make her way down the hallway.

Their family had been JUST as bad as Lori had expected them to be, a veritable tidal wave of Louds rushing her the instant they realized she was home. Between that, and her inability to interact with anything without Leni and Lincoln's help, for fear of destroying them with her newfound strength, it had been an especially trying night.

And yet, with Leni and Lincoln stuck by her throughout all of it, making things a lot more bearable than they could have been. It was nice, she reflected, to finally be on the same side as them again.

 _"Speaking of those two..."_ Lori thought to herself as she reached her destination. Thankfully, the door to Lincoln's room had been left slightly ajar. Which was good, because she and doorknobs still weren't getting along at the moment.

She nudged the door open as gently as she could manage, and was treated to her suspicions being validated. Leni and Lincoln, snuggled together. Tired, but happy expressions on their sleeping faces. Lori knew that she _should_ do something about this...especially in light of their passionate make out session earlier that day. But she just couldn't bring herself to disturb their slumber. Besides, it's not like she was in a position to pass judgment. Certainly not after today.

With small sigh of resignation, Lori gently closed the door behind her...and made her way towards Lincoln's bed. She climbed in, next to the sleeping couple, and wrapped her arms around what small amount of her little brother wasn't currently being occupied by Leni. To her surprise, the combined mass that was Leni and Lincoln shifted in response to her presence, and drew her into the cuddle. Lori sighed at the sensation of her little brother and sister beside her. Now she felt like she could finally rest.

Come morning, there were going to be problems. Problems with school, work, family. Not to mention their unknown enemy, lying in wait somewhere. But for now, Leni and Lincoln were the entirety of her world. And she wanted to savor every minute of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Lincoln yelped as the ground beneath him began to shake violently.

"Come on, Lincoln!" Lori growled, "Spill it!"

The Louds were an unusual family by any metric, and as such it was commonplace to witness unusual sights in and around its walls, faded and chipped from years of exposure to hijinx of all shapes and sizes. But the sight of Lori Loud casually swinging her little brother's bed through the air, as though it weighed nothing, while said brother clung to it for dear life, was unusual even by their standards.

"Alright!" Lincoln yelled, feeling his stomach twist into a knot from the latest bout of turbulence. "I give! Unc—AH!"

Lincoln's concession of defeat was interrupted as he finally lost his battle against gravity, his handholds literally slipping from his grasp as one final shake from Lori sent him hurtling into the air. He saw his bedroom ceiling rapidly approaching and squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating what was certain to be a painful collision. However, there was a rush of air, a brief moment of disorientation, and then...stillness. Lincoln slowly opened his eyes, and as the darkness receeded the first thing that took shape was Lori. One hand holding him aloft, the other posed dramatically at her side, a confident smirk on her face. For a moment, she looked every bit the superhero she so desperately pretended not to be.

Then the pair flinched as Lincoln's bed came crashing down, but scant inches away from where Lincoln was being held. Lori's smile receded, giving way to embarassment as the duo observed the crumpled heap of wood and mattress that had one been Lincoln's bed.

"You know, you could have just asked your questions." Lincoln deadpanned, turning to address his older sister.

"I have been!" Lori protested, her eyes flashing. For a moment, it seemed like she'd shake him for emphasis, much like she'd done to his bed, but she hesitated, and instead pulled him close, cradling him against her chest. Lincoln wrapped his arms around her and returned the gesture as best he could, suspended in the air as he was. It felt nice.

"Every time I ask you guys to fill me in, you both get weird and find reasons to run off." She said, glumly. "I'm a part of this now, and I deserve to know why I'm fighting..space aliens, and crazy giant women, and god knows what else."

_Ms. Lori has a point_. Seven's mechanical voice intoned within their minds. Strange, how quickly they'd gotten used to that. _Keeping her in the dark only hinders our cohesion, and all around combat effectiveness._

Lincoln sighed, and gave Lori a reassuring squeeze. "Sorry Lori. To be honest, we haven't really had a chance to process this stuff ourselves. But you're right, we should all be on the same page."

Lincoln released Lori, smiling to himself in bemusement as he didn't budge an inch, still being tightly held by Lori as he was. He pulled out his phone. "Let me get Leni up here, she can probably fix the bed. Plus, she should be here for this anyway. It's her story too."

* * *

Lynn Loud sat in the Loud family's living room, not especially happy. The television was on, but it was a smokescreen, its only purpose to make other people hesitant to bother her. The twins were situated on the far side of the room in their natural state of being: arguing with one another. Lynn was ostensibly keeping an eye on them, but she had no intention of intervening unless things got physical. And even then, only to give them pointers. On any other day such as this, with the sun shining and school safely kept at bay by the two government prescribed days off she was entitled to each week (U.S.A! U.S.A!), Lynn would be out and about, making the most of her day, preferably with her little brother in tow. But _that_ wasn't happening, because Lincoln was never around anymore.

Well, that wasn't entirely correct. She knew for a fact that he was physically within the vicinity of the house, as he so often was when Lynn came a calling. But he was going to be with Leni. Or Lori. Or both! For whatever reason, their oldest sisters had become strangely possessive of the pale haired boy, and insisted on spending nearly every waking hour with him. It was maddening. After all, Lincoln was her brother too! Lynn Loud was entitled to just as much Lincoln time as her sisters were, if not more!

And so she sat here. Fuming. And feeling oddly powerless against whatever strange hold her sisters seemed to have over her little brother.

At that point the front door burst open, and a vaguely Leni-shaped blur rushed through, slamming the door behind her as she rocketed up the stairs. Lynn would have been impressed by the sheer amount of speed and coordination displayed by the older girl, were she not certain she knew exactly where that blur was heading.

Lynn sighed, grabbed the remote, and began flipping through the channels. Maybe she could dig a Lincoln-shaped hole somewhere, and wait for him to fall into it. Lucy knew all about digging, she'd ask her opinion later.

* * *

Fiona grunted with exertion as she slammed the seemingly normal door behind her. The arm cast, neck brace, and head gear she was wearingmaking it considerably more difficult than usual to slip into the inter-dimensional office space she now worked at.

**_"You're late._** " Intoned the man-shaped, eldritch horror sitting at the far end of the room. He didn't bother to look up from the stack of paperwork he was working on.

"I thought you said time was meaningless." She grunted, as she hobbled over to him. If Fiona didn't know better, she'd swear the room was larger than it usually was, just to make things more difficult for her.

**_"Meaningless to_ me _."_** Darkness corrected her. **_"Much like you are."_**

Fiona slid into her usual chair, growling in annoyance. It was at this point that the being finally looked up from his work, and smirked in that way of his. With his essence, rather than his nebulous facial features.

"Are you still wearing that stuff?" He pointed to her accoutrements.

"Well, yeah." Her face crinkled in puzzlement. "It's only been a few days since the fight. Normally it takes a bit to recover from a butt whupping of that magnitude."

Her frowned returned. "Thanks for subjecting me to that, by the way."

Darkness pushed aside his paperwork and folded his hands neatly in front of him. He seemed entirely too pleased with himself.

**_"Human, where do you think those things came from?"_ **

"Well, I woke up back in my room, but I assumed the...doctors..." She trailed off, realizing how little sense this was making now that she was saying it aloud.

"My bones aren't really broken." She deadpanned. "Are they?"

**_"They were."_** Darkness seemed oddly happy about that. **_"But I fixed them. Then I broke them a few more times. The crunching noise they make is delightful. Then I fixed you again. I can do that, you know."_**

He snapped his fingers, and Fiona suddenly found herself sans-hospital gear, and fully capable of locomotion once more.

" _Why_?" She growled, knowing she was going to hate the answer.

**_"Because."_** Her employer replied, flippantly. Fiona hated being right.

* * *

"Sometimes I wonder if the paycheck is worth you compounding the suffering in my life." Fiona grumbled, huffing as she crossed her arms over her chest."

**_"A bit melodramatic, even for you, don't you think? It hasn't even been a week since I've hired you. Give me a chance to earn that reputation."_ **

"A week?" Fiona repeated, confused. "I'm talking about before that."

**_"I don't follow."_** Now it was Darkness' turn to sound perplexed, uncharacteristic as it was.

"Before!" Fiona shouted, frustrated. "When you _ruined my life!_ "

The eldritch horror took a moment to consider this. ** _"Doesn't ring a bell."_**

He held up one hand to forestall further berating from Fiona. **_"Wait, is this the part were you regale me with your origin story?"_**

"I mean..." Fiona grimaced. "You make it sound so much nerdier when you put it like that."

**_"Delightful."_** He clapped his hands in amusement. ** _"But you've got work to do first."_**

Fiona fearfully glanced at the mountain of paperwork that had been pushed aside. Suddenly, going another round with Lori wasn't sounding so bad.

"Nothing like that." He waved his hand dismissively. ** _"You were thoroughly incompetent before taking that savage beating. There's no way I'm letting you near paperwork now."_**

"So then what am I doing?" She asked, flatly.

**_"You are to rejoice, human. For in my infinite wisdom, I have decided that the best way to mitigate your incompetence, was to offset it with less incompetence"_ **

She stared back at him, uncomprehending.

**_"I'm getting you an assistant."_** He clarified, gesturing to Fiona's right. **_"Meet the new intern."_**

Fiona turned in the indicated direction, and was surprised to see a chair, which she was reasonably certain hadn't been there previously. It's occupant was a raven haired girl, somewhat younger than herself, sitting with her legs pulled up against her chest.

"Hello." She said in a voice utterly devoid of enthusiasm. "My name is Maggie."

* * *

Fiona sighed, and massaged her temples in an attempt to expel the throbbing pain she was feeling. Apparently her duties as Senior Minion included interviewing new hires. It was arguably better than doing paperwork, but...

"Okay. I'm sorry...Maggie, was it?" She asked, waiting for a nod of affirmation from the younger girl before continuing. "But I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this. Why do you want to work here?"

The Raven haired girl rolled her eyes, clearly displeased. "Because my stupid parents are making me. They say a job will make my college resume look less depressing. Newsflash mom and dad: Life is depressing!"

Fiona paused, trying to process that. "Okay. But I meant, more specifically, why do you want to work _here_. You know that we're an evil organization hell-bent on subjugating the planet, right?"

"Can you name one corporation that isn't?"

Fiona found that she had no response to this.

"Point taken." She conceded, "I just wanted to make sure that the boss—"

"You mean Mr. Darkness?"

Fiona grit her teeth at the unexpected interruption. "Yes. The—"

"The eldritch space horror who only adopts the guise of humanity for so long as it suits his sinister plans?"

"YES!" Fiona yelled, shaking with irritation. "Him! I just wanted to make sure he'd explained the situation to you."

"He did."

"And you're...okay with that?" Fiona asked, disbelieving.

Maggie shrugged. "It beats working at Flipps."

Fiona considered this. "Fair enough."

She reluctantly pressed on. "I'm almost afraid to ask this, but do you have ANY qualifications for this job?"

"I don't know anything, haven't done anything, and I don't intend to change either of those things."

"Those don't sound like qualifications." Fiona deadpanned.

"That's what I thought. But Mr. Darkness said I sounded _way_ more qualified than his other employee. Then he gave me a bunch of candy."

Fiona's pencil mysteriously snapped in half. "I think I'm starting to see why he hired you." She muttered, fishing for a replacement.

She paused at the sound of crinkling paper. Slowly and mechanically, she brought her gaze back to the perpetually irate teenager, seeing that she was in the process of unwrapping a lollipop. The pair simply stared at each other for a time.

"You want one?" Maggie asked, holding the treat out to Fiona. "I've got lots."


	8. Chapter 8

"Aaaaand, done!" Leni proudly announced, stepping back to admire her handiwork.

Lincoln had to admit, it looked great. Leni had already been remarkably skilled at woodworking, even before the superpowers. Now, with her enhanced physical abilities, it hadn't taken long at all for her take the pile of garbage that had once been his bed, and make it look brand new. She'd even worked her Leni magic on his mattress, which now looked considerably more comfy than it had been before.

"Just one thing left to do." Leni said, turning to her siblings. She reached out, plucked Lincoln from Lori's grasp ("Hey!" Shouted Lori), and gracefully leapt onto the bed, giggling, and pulling Lincoln close as they bounced from the impact. It warmed Lincoln's heart to see her so cheerful, the girl had been through a lot recently.

"Ahem." The pair looked up to see Lori staring down at them.

"Clear some room." She said, gesturing for Leni to move over. The younger girl complied, dutifully scooching over, though still dragging Lincoln along with her.

"And stop hogging Lincoln!" Lori growled, reaching out and yanking the pair back towards her. A minor scuffle ensued as the two girls jockeyed for positioning, Lincoln repeatedly being jerked from one soft, fleshy exterior to another.

Eventually, the trio settled into an arrangement that seemed agreeable to everyone. Lori laying flat on her back, Lincoln pulled up against her bosom, while Leni rest her head atop Lincoln's own chest, her arms wrapped comfortable, but securely around her siblings as best she could manage. Lincoln recognized, on some level, that it was unusual that this sort of thing had become his new norm, but at the same time he'd never felt more secure and comfortable than when he was sandwiched between his older sisters.

"So..." Lori prompted after a few moments had passed without anyone saying anything.

Lincoln glanced down at the blonde lump currently attached to his lower body, and saw Leni with heavily lidded eyes, seemingly in the process of nodding off.

"Leni." He nudged the older girl as best he was able, pinned as he was.

"Hmm?" Leni jerked back into alertness, her eyes rapidly blinking. "Oh, right. Story time."

Leni's beautiful features scrunched up as she concentrated on the task at hand.

"Linky?" She said at last. "Um. We found Seven on that trip we took, right?"

"Aloha Beach." He nodded in affirmation. "We went as a family not too long ago."

"Are you sure?"

* * *

" _Oh, em, gosh, Linky! Isn't it great that we're at Aloha Beach?"_

* * *

"Reasonably certain." He nodded again. "Remember? You were really excited about that..." He coughed in embarassment, reddening slightly, "...t-that new bikini you'd bought."

* * *

" _Oh, em, gosh, Linky! Isn't it great that we're at Aloha Beach? I'm so excited that I get to wear my new bikini! It's totes cute and tiny!"_

* * *

"Stop that!" Lori snapped in irritation. "Flashbacks are going to make this take all day. Just give me the important details."

"Oh." Leni paused to consider this, one finger placed contemplatively on her lips. Lincoln took advantage of the slight degree of freedom this afforded him, and wriggled one arm free of Leni's grasp. He reached up and began to gently stroke Lori's hair. He smiled to himself as he immediately felt the tension in the older girl's body begin to abate.

"Okay." Leni said at last. "So, like, we found Seven. And then I fought some mean girls. And then you did too. And now we're here." Her task seemingly complete, Leni once again adopted the cuddling position and began to nuzzle her face into her favorite pillow."

"...You want to take a crack at this, little brother?" Lori deadpanned, peering down at Lincoln, clearly nonplussed by her sister's willingness to abdicate her duties.

 _Perhaps I might assist Ms. Leni_. Seven interjected.

"Take it away, Sev." Lincoln agreed, gesturing somewhat pointlessly at the device on his arm.

 _Seven_. The machine corrected. His voice remained as monotone as ever, but something about the inflection of the word cause Lincoln to imagine one tiny eyebrow twitching in irritation.

_As I understand the situation, your siblings had become separated from the rest of your family at some point._

"I lost my bikini top." Leni mumbled, refusing to budge from her perch. "Linky was helping me find it. And also, he was helping to keep me warm, because it was totes cold."

Lori looked down at her little brother once more, one eyebrow raised questioningly. Lincoln could only shrug in response.

_That is when they found me, discarded like so much debris. And in doing so, they may have bought your entire planet a very slim hope of prevailing against the greatest threat the universe has ever faced._

"And that would be?" Lori prompted

_A literal translation of his name in your language would sound like little more than pain filled screams of terror. However, I believe a more accurate approximation, conveying an appropriate degree of gravitas would be...'The Darkness'._

* * *

**_"You look happy."_** Darkness remarked as his minions took their seats.

"I don't _feel_ happy." Fiona hissed, glaring at her employer.

 ** _"Good. Because you don't actually look it, either."_** The being remarked. _**"Well done, Maggie."**_ He said, turning to the younger girl, and handing her another lollipop. Maggie simply shrugged and popped the treat in her mouth.

 ** _"Now then."_** Darkness said, clasping his hands in front of him. **_"I believe you have an origin story to share."_**

Fiona simply stared back at the creature, waiting for the other shoe to drop. A snide remark, a cutting jape, unwarranted praise for the new girl...but nothing was forthcoming.

"Fine." She grunted at last. "I guess it'll kill some time."

She stopped, suddenly contemplative. "Wait, am I hourly?"

Suddenly, a door appeared on the far side of the room, and a swarm of small creatures burst through. They were roughly three feet tall, each looking decidedly insect-like in nature, and wearing a tiny business suit and tie. Before Fiona could verbalize any sort of reaction, the swarm scurried over toward Darkness, and began to chitter at him in low, guttural tones. The fact that Darkness was paying rapt attention, and nodding on occasion, was the only indication Fiona could see that there was some sort of conversation taking place. After several minutes of this, Darkness gave one last decisive nod. Apparently taking this as their cue, the creatures bowed to him in unison, then scurried back out the door, which promptly vanished behind them.

"...What the _hell_ was _that_?" Fiona asked once the show had ended.

 _ **"Have you not met the legal team?"**_ Darkness asked rhetorically.

"They were tiny." Maggie interjected. "And cute."

 _ **"Indeed."**_ Darkness replied blandly, before turning back to Fiona. **_"As to your question, it is acceptable that I nod in response. However you choose to interpret that nod is entirely up to you."_ **With that, Darkness gave an extremely slow and deliberate nod in Fiona's direction.

"...Alright then." Fiona replied, rolling her eyes. "I used to work in a clothing store—"

 ** _"Hang_ _on_**. **"** Darkness interjected, holding up one hand. _**"What are you doing?"**_

"Telling the story?" Fiona asked, puzzled.

 ** _"Obviously."_** Darkness waved dismissively. **_"But I thought you people normally did this sort of thing with flashbacks."_**

"No." Fiona retorted, flatly. "We don't."

"I like flashbacks." Maggie opined. "Like that one time..."

* * *

_"No." Fiona retorted, flatly. "We don't."_

_"I like flashbacks." Maggie opined. "Like that one time..."_

* * *

"Don't you dare." Fiona hissed, swatting the younger girl on the head.

"Ow." Maggie dispassionately droned in response. Fiona considered delivering a followup smack for good measure, when a small gout of ebon black flame burst into existence between the two girls, causing her to jerk back in surprise.

 _ **"Don't hit the gloomy girl."**_ Darkness waggled one finger at her in a scolding manner. _**"That's not conducive to a healthy work environment."**_

"Neither is world domination." Maggie pointed out.

"Can I tell the stupid story already?" Fiona growled in frustration.

_"Fine, fine." Darkness motioned for her to proceed. **"I've already forgotten why we're doing this anyway."**_

Fiona's eyes narrowed, but that little demonstration of her employer's otherworldly powers did wonders for keeping her temper in check.

"I used to work at a clothing store in the mall." Fiona began at last, through gritted teeth. "Reininger's."

"My mom drags me there sometimes." Maggie interjected, rolling her eyes. "I always have a hard time finding things in my size, but there's this really nice girl who always helps me."

Fiona's eyes involuntarily swept up and down Maggie form, noting curves that were entirely inappropriate for a girl her age. Yeah, accommodating her would definitely be a tall order.

"I'd heard the store got closed down. Again. Along with the rest of the mall, some kind of accident I guess." Maggie continued, suddenly looking contemplative. "I bet that girl needs a job. Maybe we can—"

"Yeeeeah, that's not gonna happen." Fiona cut in, glancing to Darkness for confirmation.

 ** _"I don't particularly care."_** The monstrosity replied, shrugging. **_"Get on with the story."_**

Fiona gnashed her teeth in protest, but complied. "So I was having the worst day of my life. I'd lost my favorite pair of shoes, my boyfriend broke up with me because he realized he was gay for my ex boyfriend—"

"That's nice." Maggie pipped up.

Fiona shot her a murderous glare before proceeding. "...And to top it all off, I got fired."

**_"Is being boring grounds for termination?"_ **

"No!" Fiona growled, her eyes flashing with hatred. "But being caught with a locker full of unpaid-for product is!"

* * *

"Wait." Lori cut Leni off in the middle of her recitation. "Why did you shove all that stuff into Fiona's locker?"

"She told me to keep it safe until we could take inventory." Leni replied. "And Fiona's locker is like, supes safe. The locks she puts on it are really, really hard to pick."

Lincoln and Lori exchanged glances before shrugging in unison. Typical Leni logic, what harm could it do?

* * *

Fiona flinched as a sound not unlike breaking glass, fingernails on a chalkboard, and an alarm clock buzzer cut through her like a knife.

 ** _"Oh that's rich."_** Darkness chortled, slapping his knee. _**"And you say your friend did this? She sounds wonderful. Do you think she needs a job?"**_

 _"Pretty sure she doesn't!_ " Fiona shrieked, shaking with barely contained fury.

**_"Pity, that. So then what happened."_ **

Fiona's perpetual frown deepened considerably as she fixed her gaze upon the creature. "That's when I met you."

* * *

"Alright, alright." Lori interrupted again. "Let me see if I understand this so far."

"You two." She pointed toward her siblings. "Stumbled across some kind of talking alien doodad that gives people superpowers?"

"Yup." Leni chirped.

"We didn't know about the superpowers thing, at the time." Lincoln corrected her. "But yes."

"And you somehow managed to keep this a secret from the rest of us?" Lori asked, one eyebrow arched in disbelief.

"It was totes hard." Leni replied, pouting. "But Linky didn't want to tell anybody."

"Can you blame me?" Lincoln asked. "It sounds nuts."

"I guess I can't." Lori murmured thoughtfully. "And you." She pointed in the general direction of Lincoln's arm. "Are some kind of alien superweapon tasked with fighting an evil monster...thing, hellbent on eradicating all life in the universe?"

_That is an extremely succinct summation of events, yes._

"Huh." Lori pondered this. "Gotta say, little bro, I'm surprised you didn't jump at the chance to be a superhero yourself."

"I...couldn't." Lincoln's voice faltered slightly, and he averted his eyes. Seeing this, Leni reached out and pulled him into a reassuring hug. Lori's initial reaction was to growl at the pair for excluding her once again...but she managed to suppress the impulse. Sisterly intuition told her there was something more at work here.

 _The situation is highly unusual._ Seven droned. _Typically, upon finding a new world in need of defending, I would seek out a worthy champion to wield me. One who is of appropriate age, and preferably combat capable._

"And you picked these two?" Lori asked, incredulous, gesturing to her siblings. "No offense, guys."

"None taken." Said Lincoln, his voice muffled by the fact that Leni had chosen to give him one of her patented Leni Hugs. A perfect combination of softness and spine shattering affection.

 _My options were limited._ Seven replied. _For one, I usually have more time to prepare. The powers of a Gigant are not lightly given out._

"What happened this time?"

_The Dark One came upon my transport unit during atmospheric entry. Without a host I was unable to defend myself. I managed to make landfall, but the unit was destroyed in the process, and I am incapable of locomotion on my own.  
_

"So you were basically forced to settle for the first dope who happened to come across you?" Lori deadpanned.

_Essentially. I had to make the best of a bad situation. The other complication was that your species is curiously incompatible with my functions._

"How so?" Lori furrowed her brow in confusion.

_My primary function is to imbue my host with Gionic energy, the catalyst for your abilities. Based on my limited interactions with you and your siblings, the males of your species are capable of channeling the energy, but are unable to make use of it themselves. Where the females of the species seem to have the opposite problem. After considering the issue, I had theorized that a symbiotic relationship might have been the answer, a human male initially serving as a medium with which to empower a human female, and thereafter serving as a regulator for their power._

"I still don't really get it." Leni confessed. "But Seven said I'd get give Linky lots of hugs, so I said sure." Then her face fell slightly. "But Linky said no."

Lori looked to her little brother, questioningly.

"I-I didn't want Leni to get involved." He said, shifting uncomfortably. "Seven said she'd have to fight horrible monsters, and I couldn't put Leni through that. I thought we'd figure something out. That there had to be another way. But..."

"But?" Lori prompted.

"Then the first attack happened."

* * *

 ** _"This is starting to sound vaguely familiar."_** Darkness mused, stroking his nonexistent chin.

"You found me in the depths of despair and turned me into a rampaging monster." Fiona replied, incredulous. "How could you not remember this?"

 ** _"I corrupted so many humans before we started this new arrangement of ours."_** Darkness waved dismissively. **_"But now that I'm in the story, I assume things will finally get interesting. So what happened next?"_**

"Well, my memory gets kind of fuzzy at that point..."

**_"A common side effect of having your soul torn apart, then crammed full of incredibly unstable dark energies..."_ **

"My _WHAT_ was _WHAT_?"

**_"I didn't say anything. Continue."_ **

* * *

"Fiona attacked the mall?" Lori asked. "Again?"

"No, this last time was the second time." Leni corrected her. "This was the first time."

"That seems needlessly confusing." Lori said, dryly.

"Life typically doesn't fit into a neat, convenient narrative structure." Lincoln replied, shrugging indifferently. "Though...she was different that time."

"Different how?" Lori pressed, curious.

"She was like, totes naked." Leni pipped up. "Or almost. Her clothes were all torn up. I don't think she picked out the right size."

"Fifty foot women tend to be hard to shop for." Lori replied sarcastically.

"That's why I'm stocking up on gift cards for us." Leni agreed, the sarcasm completely going over her head. "And I think Linky might have gotten hurt. He was bleeding a lot.

* * *

"It's not funny, Darkness!" Fiona roared.

 ** _"Your right."_** He chuckled darkly. ** _"It's hysterical."_**

"I didn't realize you were an exhibitionist." said Maggie. The younger girl yelped, and just barely managed to dodge a haymaker aimed where her head had been only miliseconds prior.

* * *

"I _meant_ ", Lincoln huffed, his cheeks red with embarrassment, "Her attitude was different. When you fought her she was relatively normal."

"She was evil." Lori corrected him.

"She was _Fiona._ " Leni corrected her in turn. "She's always like that."

"Right." Lincoln gave a short roll of his eyes. "But, coherent and stuff. This time she mostly just screamed a lot and stepped on stuff."

"Still sounds like Fiona." Leni opined.

 _Interesting._ Seven murmured. _I had not considered the change in temperament._

"Okay, whatever." Lori waved dismissively. "So then what happened."

Lincoln and Leni exchanged glances. "Well..." He began. "We had a crazy giant lady tearing up the place. If we'd waited for the army, or the police to get involved, people might have gotten hurt. So..."

* * *

_"Leni! It's too dangerous!"_

_"You have to let me try, Linky! It's Fiona!"_

_"F-Fine. But promise me you'll be careful..."_

_"I promise...Linky..."_

_Energy transfer initiated..._

_"Leniiiiii Punch!"_

* * *

Lori blinked in surprise. "Wow. That actually sounded really cool."

"Leni was the coolest." Lincoln agreed, giving the girl in question a kiss on the cheek. Leni blushed, both embarrassed and pleased. Then she snatched Lincoln up and pulled him close, pressing her lips against his. She moaned in delight as Lincoln responded in kind, the volume of her pleasure magnifying as Lincoln began to trace his fingers up her curvaceous body.

"Oh no you don't!" Lori growled, crawling towards her suddenly very occupied siblings. "I'm part of this too, dammit!"

* * *

"And I woke up with a black eye and my clothes ruined." Fiona concluded, grimacing. "Also, still unemployed."

 ** _"So, same as it ever was."_** Darkness chortled in amusement, wiping away an imaginary tear.

"I'm really happy you enjoyed that so much." Fiona retorted sarcastically.

 ** _"I did."_** Darkness' form heaved a few more times as he worked the last traces of laughter from his system. **_"That was a lovely way to kill some time."_**

 **" _Now_."** Darkness folded his hands in front of him, suddenly serious. **" _As fun as that was, I think it's time you two got some actual work done today_."**

Fiona raised one hand, intending to ask what he meant, but was interrupted by Darkness snapping his fingers. Fiona's eyes widened as she found her hand clutching a familiar shape. Dark seeds. Two of them.

**_"I think it's time we see what the new girl can do_."**

* * *

"I think it's time we stop excluding Lori." Lincoln announced in a shaky voice. He was currently lying in a heap with his two sisters All three siblings exhausted and disheveled looking, their hair mussed and their clothing in disarray. And yet, all three looked extremely pleased with themselves.

"Totes." Leni murmured. She propped herself up unsteadily with her arms, leaned over, and planted a soft kiss on Lori's lips, signaling she was ready for more.

Lori smirked at her siblings, seemingly pleased with herself.

"You guys haven't seen anything yet..." She purred, wrapping one arm around Leni, while the other drifted down towards the zipper of Lincoln's jeans.

Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise resounded from Leni's pocket, startling the trio.

"Dang it!" They groaned in unison.

Leni reluctantly untangled herself from the group, and fished out her phone, pouting at the device as if it was the one at fault. In an instant, her face shifted from annoyed to shocked.

"Oh my gosh!" She squeaked, drawing looks of concern from her siblings. "Fiona's going to beat me up!"

The phone buzzed again, and Leni's expression turned to one of relief. "Oh, never mind. She says wrong number."

Lori opened her mouth to point out how strange that was, when she heard a buzzing from her own pocket. Sighing in annoyance, she fished out her own phone, half suspecting she knew what was coming.


	9. Chapter 9

"I have a question." Lincoln announced as he and his sisters strolled across the perimeter of their local park.

"Look." Lori began, exasperated. "That whole, jumping around thing is way more complicated than Leni makes it look, alright?"

"I told you, Lori, you need to say 'whoosh' when you make your turns." Leni interjected.

"Is that what you were saying? I couldn't hear you over Lincoln's screaming." Lori grumbled. She turned back to her little brother. "We'll go back and see what we can do about that billboard once we're done here, alright?"

"...Okay. And for the record, I'm riding with Leni when we do that." Lincoln began.

"Yay!" Leni squealed in delight.

"...But I'm more concerned with...whatever this is. You realized Fiona basically just challenged you to a duel, right?"

"That's right." Lori nodded

"For which there appears to be nothing at stake?"

"We don't know that for sure." Lori rolled her eyes. "For all we know, she would have gone on another rampage if I'd refused."

"I think you just want an excuse to beat up Fiona."

"Have I ever told you you're really cute when you get all suspicious, Linky?" Lori bat her eyes at Lincoln coquettishly.

" _Lori_..."

"Time was of the essence!" Lori protested. "Probably"

"You let Leni pack a picnic lunch!"

"I made sandwiches!" The fashionista announced happily.

"And I made sure that none of them are egg salad." Lori nodded to her younger sister. "I get to rearrange Fiona's dumb face, and then we get to enjoy a nice picnic lunch. It's win/win."

"I suppose." Lincoln sighed, knowing when he was beat. He was glad that Lori was taking her new duties seriously (for a given value of serious...), he was just worried that she was, perhaps, being just a tad overconfident about this. The attack at Lori's job interview, followed by the subsequent ambush at the mall, showed that Fiona was clearly a canny and dangerous opponent. Clearly, whatever was hapening here wasn't a random challenge, but a calculated manuver.

Lincoln jerked in surprise as he felt a soft touch upon his back. Turning, he saw that Lori had place her hand upon him, rubbing small, soothing circles into his skin. She smiled at him, warmly and confidently. _"I've got this, little bro."_ , it semed to say.

Lincoln pushed down his anxiety, and tried to return the gesture. It would be fine, probably. It would be fine, he tried to reassure himself. Whateve happened, Lori had him and Leni to back her up, and there was nothing the three of them couldn't handle as long as they were together. Probably.

As Lincoln continued his internal struggle, the trio found themselves in a large, grassy field. The kind that would be used for barbecues, water balloon fights, and duels for the fate of humanity.

"It's about freaking time!"

Speaking of which...Lincoln turned in the direction of the noise, and saw a very irate Fiona, leaning against a tree some distance away. He gestured to his sisters, and upon receiving nods of affirmation from them, the three cautiously made their way over.

"Hi Fiona!" Leni shouted, waiving her free hand enthusiastically as they arrived at their destination.

"Hello, Leni." The other girl grunted, returning the greeting with considerably less enthusiasm. It was at this point, that Lincoln noticed a second girl standing a little ways back, her raven tressed head poking out from behind the tree. Hey glassy, disinterested gaze seemed somewhat dismissive of the group, right up until the point where she got to him. He found his eyes meeting those of the new girl, and immediately there was a new sense of...intensity, that hadn't been there before. It didn't feel malicious, but it set him on edge all the same.

"Hi." He called out, waving to the other girl, who immediately disappeared behind the tree trunk. He looked to Fiona, questioningly.

"That's Maggie." The older girl grumbled, rolling her eyes. "She's new."

"H-hi." The other girl stammered, popping out from behind the tree just long enough to give him a shy wave, before retreating back to her hiding spot.

"Smart of you to bring backup." Lori said, smirking confidently as she closed the distance between the two groups.

"Please." Fiona scoffed. "I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back."

In response, Lori balled her hand up into a fist, and without looking away from Fiona, drove it into the trunk of the tree. For a moment nothing happened, save for Fiona sparing a confused glance at the tree. Then...a cracking sound. The tree seemed to shudder as the cracking began to grow in volume. A sharp snap, and the tree began to tip over, giving one last defiant wobble before snapping off at the base and crashing to the ground, revealing an extremely baffled looking Maggie, now bereft of her hiding spot.

* * *

Fiona's expression didn't change in the slightest, following Lori's impressive display of strength. She did, however,surreptitiously creep away from the older girl, cautiously repositioning herself a short distance away, next to her now trembling intern.

"F-Fiona?" Maggie asked, her normally neutral tone now laced with bewilderment and what sounded like actual fear.

"Yes, Maggie." She responded, trying to remain confident in the face of...whatever that had been.

"Did you know she could do that?"

"I did not."

"We should leave."

"We have a job to do, intern."

" _So_? She's scary!"

"Hey, are we doing this or what?" Lori called out, spreading her arms invitingly, making no effort to hide the shit eating grin that was spreading across her face.

"O-of course!" Fiona yelled back, sounding much more confident than she sounded. "I just want to remember what your face looked like before my fist got stuck in it!"

"That'd sound a lot more threatening if you weren't hiding way back there." Lori taunted her.

"She isn't wrong."

"Shut _up_ , Maggie!" Fiona hissed, "I'm strategizing!"

"Well..." Lori drawled, "I've got things to do today. You know how it is. So how about we speed things up..."

"Leni." Lori barked, holding out one arm behind her. "Linky me!"

"Right, Lori!" Leni called back. She picked up Lincoln, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and before he could ask when she was planning on doing with him, flung him toward their older sister.

Lincoln's stomach lurched as the world blurred around him. Thankfully, the trip was mercifully short, and it wasn't long before the rush of wind against his face abruptly stopped, replaced by a familiar softness. He craned his head upward, seeing that he was now safely being held in Lori's arms, clutched protectively against her chest.

"Hey, little brother." She purred, peering down at him.

"Lori." He replied, frowning. "Don't bully Fiona."

"I won't." She rolled her eyes. "I'm just gonna stomp around a bit and scare them off. I promise."

"Fine." He sighed softly, trusting that his big sister knew what she was doing. "Seven?"

 _Ready for energy transfer_. _And_ , he added, uncharacteristically personable, _I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. After analyzing the data from out previous battles, I made several minor, but meaningful adjustments to your Gigant form. You should notice a significant boost to your combat capabilities._

"Awesome." Lori lifted Lincoln up towards her face, gently placing one hand against his cheek. "You ready, Linky?"

"Y-yeah." Lincoln replied, nodding in agreement. He wondered if this would ever stop being embarrassing.

Lori pulled him close, and softly pressed her lips against his. Lincoln had a few heartbeats to enjoy the entirely too pleasant sensations that accompanied these engagements, savoring the taste of her lips, and shuddering slightly as Lori's tongue darted within his mouth to tease his own.

_Energy transfer initiated._

He had just enough time to moan encouragingly, before the energy that had been building within his core coursed outward from his body and into Lori's. Now it was the older girl's turn to make her pleasure known, her squeals of delight crescendoing in volume along with the flow of energy. A bright flash of light, and Lincoln felt himself forcibly propelled away from the girl, landing gently on the soft grass a short distance away. When the light faded and his vision returned, he found himself gazing upon the familiar and enormous form of Gigant Blue, standing high above even the tallest of trees.

...Well mostly familiar. Lincoln couldn't help notice one very obvious change the girl's ensamble. Where previously, the Gigant's battle garb consisted of a form fitting spandex jumpsuit, completely covering the girl's shapely frame while leaving nothing to the imagination, there was now an _extremely_ noticeable...window, for lack of a better word, in the chest region, both drawing attention to _and_ prominently putting on display, Lori's mountainous cleavage. It looked _really_ good on her.

"WHAT THE HELL, SEVEN?" Lori thundered, clearly not sharing the sentiment.

* * *

"Fiona?"

"Yes, Maggie?"

"The scary girl got even scarier."

Fiona hated to admit it, but Lori Loud had been intimidating enough back when she was just Leni's big sister in the metaphorical sense. The thing with the tree had totally come out of left field, and now there was this...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT INCREASES TRANSFER EFFICIENCY?!"

Fiona wobbled unsteadily as the larger girl's fury caused the ground to tremble. Holy cow! Was this what she'd put the Louds through at the mall? No wonder they'd been so terrified of her.

"A-also, Fiona..."

"Yes, Maggie?" She prompted without looking at the younger girl, not daring to take her eyes off the angry giantess standing above them.

"They have a boy. For kissing. H-how come we don't have a kissing boy?"

Fiona slowly turned her head towards Maggie. Her assistant's normally pallid cheeks were tinged with red, but the looked entirely serious about the question.

"Because we don't _need_ one." She replied, flatly. A small part of her began to wonder what it might be like if they did adopt the Loud's transformation method, an image coming to mind unbidden of her cuddling a familiar looking white haired boy to her bosom, but she quickly stamped that out. This was not the time!

"We have _these_." Fiona produced the pair of dark seeds she'd been given for just such an occasion, and tossed one to Maggie. The raven-haired girl caught it, albeit with some difficulty, and stared at the small object in her palm.

"Do we plant it?" Maggie asked, the normally stoic girl looking uncharacteristically perplexed.

"No, dummy." Fiona growled, wrapping her hand around the seed. "Crush it in your fist. Just do what I do."

Fiona waited a moment longer for the younger girl to adopt a similar pose, and making sure to exaggerate her actions so the intern could follow along, crushed the seed in her palm, triggering an explosive burst of dark energy. She grinned as the power began coursing through her, and the world around her quickly began to shrink. This should even the odds a bit.

* * *

"Uh, Lori?!" Lincoln called out in alarm as Fiona and Maggie were suddenly encompassed by a distressingly familiar nimbus of crackling, obsidian energy.

"Not now, Lincoln!" Lori growled back. It was at this point that she noticed the ominous miasma that had replaced her would-be opponents.

"Dang it." Lori deadpanned, sighing in exasperation.

 _I_ told _you that you were wasting valuable time by complaining about your new combat enhancements._

"Not another word from _you_ , pervert!" Lori spat, still furious. Not having a physical target for her vitriol, she chose to direct her ire at her new cleavage window. Which, admittedly, made her girls look _fantastic_ , but that was beside the point.

A dark chuckle heralded the dissipation of the ebony cloud, and with its passing stood the very thing she'd been afraid of. Fiona and Maggie, each clad in a sleek, black bodysuit, and each roughly as large as she was.

"I don't know what that was about, but boy did you screw up royally!" Fiona cackled, her shoulders heaving with mirth. "Not only did you miss your chance to get rid of us, but now it's two on one!"

Fiona gestured dramatically at Lori. "I think it's time to take your new powers for a test drive, newbie, all over Lori's face! Get her, Maggie!"

Lori grimaced and dropped into a combat stance, cursing herself for giving up her advantage so easily. Loathe as she was to admit it, Fiona had given her a pretty good fight all by herself, and _now_ she had help. The situation was suddenly looking pretty grim for earth's newest defender.

Lori braced herself for the coming attack. And...continued to brace herself. Moments passed, each punctuated by the rapid beating of her heart, and still nothing.

"I... _said..._ " Fiona growled, unwilling to break eye contact with Lori. " _Get. Her. Maggie!"_

Lori remained tensed, ready to counter whatever was thrown at her. But still, nothing was forthcoming. Finally, as if by some unseen agreement, both girls turned in unison to see what the holdup was.

Maggie remained where Lori had last seen her, standing a short distance away (relative to their current sizes), and behind Fiona. She appeared to be examining her new outfit. What little Lori had been able to ascertain from the short amount of time she'd known the younger girl told her that Maggie wasn't an especially happy person by nature, but the frown she was wearing now seemed especially prominent, even for her.

" _Maggie!_ " Fiona hissed, trying to get the younger girl's attention.

"Huh?" Maggie's head jerked up, her eyes blinking in surprise. "Oh. What's happening? I wasn't paying attention."

Shaking with barely contained fury, Fiona jabbed one trembling finger in Lori's direction.

" _Her. Face. Smash!"_

Maggie's expression grew contemplative, as she seemingly considered this order.

"...Nah." She said at last, seemingly coming to a conclusion.

Lori and Fiona briefly exchanged confused glances, neither seemingly knowing how to process this development.

"The sun's so bright up here." The younger girl complained, shielding her eyes as she glanced upward, in disgust. "And fighting's lame."

"So what would _you_ suggest?" Fiona asked, seething.

Again, Maggie took a moment to consider the situation. "I think..." She said at last. "I'm just gonna go sit over there. Call me when you're done."

With that, the younger giantess simply walked off, her thunderous footsteps echoing loudly as she awkwardly exited the battlefield, clearly unused to her new size. A park bench, several trees, and a tether ball court all found themselves victims of her uncertain strides, but eventually she seemingly found a spot she deemed acceptable. Maggie gently sat herself down on the ground, and pulled her knees up against her chest, curling herself up into ball of oversized teenager. Apparently comfortable now, she gave Fiona a thumbs up.

"Good luck, Fiona!" She called.

Fiona slapped herself on the forehead, and let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Interns." She grumbled.

Lori decided now was the time to capitalize on this new development.

"Sneak attack!" She roared, leaping forward and punching Fiona in the face.

* * *

"Well..." Lincoln trailed off, blinking in surprise. "That was weird."

"Right?" Leni nodded in agreement. "She didn't even yell 'Leni Punch!'".

"Uh, Leni?" Lincoln began, seeing that they were clearly on two different wavelengths.

"Not now, Linky." Leni interrupted him, patting him gently on the shoulder. "I think I should go help Lori. And..." Her face scrunched up with concentration. "Give...her...the benefit...of my...wisdom?"

"Wow." Lincoln was genuinely impressed. "You've been using that word of the day calendar Lisa gave you."

"Totes." Leni nodded happily. Then her face fell slightly, and she glanced down at him worriedly. "Can you take care of yourself for a bit, Linky?"

Lincoln wrapped one arm around Leni's midsection and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be fine. Go help Lori."

Leni bent down and gave him a grateful hug. "Thanks Linky." She was getting a lot better at this superhero thing, the hug barely even hurt.

Sparing him one last glance, Leni tensed her legs and launched herself into the air, right in the direction of the giantess melee. Lincoln wasn't too worried. Even at her normal size, he was confident that Leni's enhanced physical abilities would be enough to keep her safe. And who knows? Maybe she'd actually find a way to help Lori.

Lincoln winced as Fiona executed an impressive pile driver, slamming Lori's body into the ground, the impact of her gargantuan body causing a minor earthquake even as far away as he was. Clearly he was going to have to find someplace a little safer to wait things out.

* * *

Maggie sighed in annoyance as she peeled wooden planks and bits of metal off her boot. This sucked. The job posting had said she'd be expected to commit acts of unfathomable evil. She'd assumed that would mean doing cold calls, or putting flyers on people's car. Not getting in fights with superheroes.

She managed to rip off a particularly large chunk of debris. However, suddenness with which it broke free from its confinement caused her hand to swing outward wildly. Maggie managed to steady herself without toppling over, but she was unable to stop her wayward hand from slamming into the ground with a loud _thud_. She grimaced as she considered the errant limb, now embedded in the ground, a small crater formed at the site of the impact. She ripped it free with little effort, but now there were chunks of earth stuck to her glove. Gross.

This giant thing was dumb too, she thought as she began to sweep chunks of dirt and grass from the appendage. Even at her normal size, Maggie was tall and curvaceous for her age, resulting a very wonky center of gravity. Her mom assured her that it was only temporary, and Maggie would eventually adapt to her changing body, but in the meantime she had an annoying tendency to knock things over. And people. And herself. Usually herself. That was why she'd become something of a loner, it was much harder to embarrass herself that way.

Being a giant made everything a thousand times worse. Not only was she _still_ a klutz, but now she was strong enough to break things in entirely new ways!

She sighed, and hooked her arms around her knees, curling back into a ball. She closed her eyes, and focused on breathing. In and out in a steady, soothing rhythm. Hopefully that fight would end soon. She didn't care who won, she just wanted to change back to normal, and find someplace dark and quiet where she could relax.

"Um...hello?"

Maggie's eyes shot open as the soft, halting voice reached her ears. She glanced around, trying not to move unnecessarily while she searched for its source. Accidentally smashing some poor bystander was the last thing she needed on her conscience.

"Hello?" The voice said again.

Maggie realized far, far too late, that the only place such a voice could be coming from was below chastising herself, she began to scan the ground with her gaze. And that's where she saw him, standing only a short distance away from her oversized thighs.

Short pale hair, orange polo, jeans. It was _the boy_. Seeing how close he was to her, Maggie curled herself into an even tighter ball, her breath quickening and her cheeks reddening. She'd seen him earlier, and had desperately wished she'd been courageous enough to talk to him. He was cute, and nice. And he'd smiled at her, which gave her a funny, but pleasant feeling deep down. People didn't normally smile at her. It felt...nice. But now...he was _tiny_. So very, very tiny. And while she couldn't explain why, exactly, this somehow made him a thousand times cuter!

Maggie froze, unsure how to respond, confused as she was by these new feelings. The world around her seemed to darken, and go quiet, as two small figures appeared before her. Maggie sighed, here we go again.

"What are you doing?"Screeched one of the figures, who appeared to be a small facsimile of herself. Albeit with small devil horns poking out from beneath her raven hair, and clad in a low cut top that showed off an embarrassing amount of cleavage.

"Same thing I always do." Maggie said, sourly. "Nothing."

"Why?!" Raged Devil Maggie. "He's cute and he's talking to us! Say something!"

"He won't keep talking to us if I say something." Maggie frowned. "He'll think I'm weird and leave."

"If I may?" The other figure smoothly interjected. Naturally, she also bore a strong resemblance to Maggie, though she was dressed far more conservatively than her counterpart, and had a small halo floating above her head.

"Great, here comes the lecture." Devil Maggie grumbled, producing a cigarette and a lighter from thin air. Maggie frowned as her smaller self immediately set about smoking with gusto, she hated when Devil Maggie did that. Maggie wasn't sure if imaginary second hand smoke was actually hazardous, but she preferred to ere on the side of caution.

"I was going to remind you both that this is a unique situation." Said Angel Maggie.

"How do you figure?" Devil Maggie asked, one eyebrow raised quizzically.

"Because Maggie is significantly larger than the incredibly cute boy who's frantically trying to get her attention."

"So what?" Devil Maggie let out an irritated puff of smoke. "That's nothing new, the girl's a friggin beanpole."

"The difference..." Angel Maggie replied patiently, "Is that at her current size, Maggie doesn't have to say anything. She could just pick him up and walk off with him." She paused thoughtfully. "And then he would be our boyfriend." She added.

The remaining Maggeis simply stared at their angelic self.

"Aren't you usually the good one?" Maggie asked, surprised.

"Yes." She nodded. "But he's _really_ cute, and I think this time you should play to your strengths."

"Namely that, right now, she's way stronger than him?" Devil Maggie asked wryly.

"Precisely." Angel Maggie nodded again, and the two doppelgangers high fived.

"Maggie?"

The young giantess gave a violent shake of her head, causing her smaller selves to poof out of existence. But _he_ was still there. Still small, and cute, and now looking at her with concern.

"It was Maggie, right?" He asked, uncertain. "I don't think I got a chance to introduce myself before. I'm Lincoln."

He held out one tiny hand in greeting. It took Maggie a few seconds to realize that he was offering her a hand shake.

"Y-yes." She replied hesitantly, gently extending her index finger and lowering it toward the boy. Apparently guessing her intentions, Lincoln grasped her finger in both hands and gave it a hearty shake. It took every ounce of Maggie's willpower to refrain from squeeing at the sight. So adorable.

"So..." He ventured, "I guess you probably want to be on your own, since you're all the way over here. But it's kinda dangerous over there. Mind if I hang with you for a bit?"

"Sure. Yes. That's fine." Maggie replied, haltingly. Internally she was cheering. He wanted to sit with her!

"AAAAAAAAH!"

Their conversation was abruptly interrupted as Fiona's titanic body sailed overhead, in flagrant defiance of the laws of physics. A quake far greater than any previously rocked the ground as she landed only a short distance away.

"RAAAAAAAH!"

This was followed by Lori soaring through the air shortly after, creating her own earth shaking impact as she landed, and immediately set upon pummeling the fallen girl with extreme prejudice.

Maggie glanced down and saw Lincoln on the verge of falling over, the constant quaking making it nearly impossible for the boy to maintain his balance. She reached down and gently used one of her enormous fingers to help steady him.

"Thanks Maggie." Lincoln looked up to her gratefully as he clung to her finger. It was at this point, that Maggie chanced upon an idea.

"Um, Lincoln?" She began, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I-it might not be very safe for you down there."

Lincoln winced as another tremor shook the ground, tightening his grip on Maggie's finger. "Yeah." He nodded in agreement. "But I'm not really sure what else I-"

"J-just give me a second." Maggie interrupted, gathering her courage. She slowly and gently, so as to avoid startling the small boy, wrapped her fingers around Lincoln, taking him into her hand and lifting him up off the ground. She winced as an expression of pure terror briefly flashed across his face, but she was heartened when he quickly fought it off. He trusted her, she was reasonably certain.

Slowly and deliberately, Maggie brought her arm around, and deposited the boy on her shoulder, not removing her hand until he was securely seated on his new perch.

"I thought you might be safer. Up here." Maggie explained, trying not to blush.

"I think you might be right." Lincoln replied, laughing nervously.

After that, the pair lapsed into companionable silence, the only sounds being those of the nearby giantess melee, Leni's shrill voice occasionally yelling encouragement to her older sister.

"Hey...Lincoln?" Maggie asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" He turned so that he was staring directly at her.

"H...h-hi." Maggie stammered, no longer able to fight her embarrassed blush. Much to her surprise, and pleasure, Lincoln smiled back at her.

"Hi, Maggie."

Maggie allowed herself a small smile. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

* * *

It was late when Lincoln and his sisters trudged through the front door of the Loud House. Tired, exhausted, and not entirely sure what the point of that day's experiences had been. But, at the very least, Lincoln consoled himself with the thought that he'd made himself a new friend. A flash of memory, him sitting on the cute, gigantic girl's shoulder, desperately trying to resist the urge to glance down at her enormous breasts, which heaved so enticingly whenever she giggled. Bad Lincoln, he scolded himself, you need to stop objectifying the women in your life. Especially when you're already in a polygamous relationship with two of your sisters.

"Time for bed." Lori grunted, as the trio reached the top of the stairs. Neither Leni, nor Lincoln had any objections, and they began to move toward Lincoln's room.

"Hold it!" Came a voice from behind them, causing the three siblings to jerk, startled.

Lincoln slowly turned around, preparing for the worst. Much to his surprise, the voice in questioned belonged not to an irate parent bursting with inconvenient questions about their childrens' whereabouts, but an uncharacteristically stern faced Luan.

"Hey, Luan." He greeted her, shooting a worried glance at his older sisters, desperately trying to come up with an explanation for their late arrival.

Fortunately, none was needed. Luan simply grabbed Lincoln by the hand, and began to drag him towards his room. "Get your PJ's Linc, tonight you're bunking with me. Lincoln complied, both because Luan's voice brooked no room for argument, and because he feared that refusal would prompt the jokester to ask some of those inconvenient questions. He gathered his things, as instructed, and followed Luan back down the hallway to her room, pausing to give his older sisters an apologetic shrug as he passed them. Neither looked especially happy at this turn of events, but they seemed to realize he didn't have much choice in the matter.

"What happened to Luna?" Lincoln asked as they arrived at their destination.

"She's spending the night at Sam's." Luan grumbled.

"Again?" Lincoln asked, surprised.

"Yep." Luan stepped to the side to allow him into the room. "And I'm lonely. So _you're_ keeping me company tonight!"

"Lincoln mentally shrugged. Honestly, spending the night with Luan would be a small price to pay if he could finally get some rest.

* * *

Luna Loud rolled over and laid on her back. Panting and exhausted, but thoroughly satisfied. Shame that working up a sweat wasn't always this fun. It if was, she'd probably be in better shape than Lynn by this point.

"You did it again." Sam purred, slithering over to Luna's side of the bed and wrapping her glistening body around Luna's.

"Rocked your world?" Luna asked, leaning over and sharing a brief kiss with her girlfriend. They'd been at it for a while now, but she could already feel her exhaustion ebbing, desire quickly taking it's place. The things this girl did to her...

"Absolutely." Sam nuzzled her face into the Luna's neck while she traced her fingers along the contours of the rocker's body. "...you also called me by his name again."

In an instant, all the bravado drained from Luna, and she shrunk in upon herself. The good times had ceased rolling.

"Sam..." she began, as she had so many times before.

"It's cool." The blonde gave her a reassuring squeeze. "I've told you before, it's honestly kinda hot."

"It's not supposed to be!" Luna barked, withdrawing her arm from Sam's vice-like grip, then crossing both arms over her petite, freckled chest with a huff. "This was supposed to fix me!"

"Luna, honey." Sam reattached herself to Luna's side, planting soft kisses on the brunette's shoulder. She could already feel her traitorous body unclenching once more as the all too pleasurable sensation of her girlfriend's ministrations radiated through her body. "This was never going to 'fix' you. You can't fix love."

Luna threw up her hands in frustration, noting, mildly impressed, the way the blonde easily darted out of the way of one swinging appendage without losing her rhythm.

"Then what was the point of all the-"

"Amazing sex?" Sam quipped

"I thought we were calling it 'physical therapy'." Luna grumbled, turning away from the other girl's cat-like grin, embarrassed.

"Tomato, tomato." Sam yanked Luna over to her with a surprising amount of strength, and cradled the brunette's head against her chest.

"I don't blame you, Lunes." Sam continued, gently stroaking Luna's hair. "Lincoln's a great guy. Honestly, if he was a little older, and I'd met him first, he might be the one I was having this conversation with."

"P-please don't go there." Luna grumbled, unwilling to admit how much that scenario thrilled her.

"All I'm saying, is that the way I see it, there's only one solution to this little problem."

"And what's that?" Luna asked, warily. Sam was almost sounding reasonable, that usually meant the other shoe was about to drop.

"Simple." The blonde replied, giving Luna a peck on the cheek. "We've gotta get you laid."

Luna's eyes crossed. "Uh..."

"By your little brother." Sam continued, eyes alight with mischief.


	10. Chapter 10

Lincoln awoke with a gasp, his chest constricting as an intense, bone crushing pressure around his body made it very difficult for the boy to draw breath. Blinking away the last vestiges of sleep, Lincoln managed to focus on what appeared to be the cause. A familiar looking, yellow pajama sleeved arm wrapped around his torso. Lincoln followed the limb with his eyes and let out a second, somewhat more strangled gasp as he took in the sight before him.

There, but scant inches from him, was his big sister Luan, her limbs carelessly splayed about her, save for the arm currently constraining him, and a content smile upon her snoring face. That wasn't surprising, Luan had a tendency to toss and turn in her sleep. Had he not been anchoring her to this spot, it would have been just as likely to find her in an entirely different orientation, or off the bed entirely. What stood out on this particular occasion was that Luan's pajama sleeve ran the length of her arm and then stopped short at her midsection. The pajama top it would normally be connected to having been shredded, presumably due to the two, rather large new additions protruding from Luan's formerly petite chest. Lincoln's vision was filled with soft, pillowy flesh, each mound topped with a tantalizing pink nipple, hardened from its exposure to the elements.

It took every ounce of willpower for Lincoln to resist the urge to close the last few centimeters, and dive headfirst into the vast expanse of Luan that lay invitingly before him. Still, he managed to restrain himself, and slowly began to pull his head back, fearful of the gravitational pull of those celestial bodies. In doing so, he managed to catch a glimpse of the space beyond Luan. Her other arm, lazily flung out beside her, and the still crumbling hole in the wall that she had effortlessly put it through. He also noticed the relative smallness of the bed around her. The way the remains of her previously loose fitting pajamas now clung so very _tightly_ to her nubile teenage form.

 _It's about time you woke up_ , Seven grumbled as Lincoln frantically wracked his sleep addled memory for details about the previous night.

* * *

Lincoln let out a soft gasp of surprise as he crossed into Luna and Luan's shared room. It wasn't drastically different from the last time he'd been there, though that had been some time ago. Notebooks full of prospective song lyrics, discarded instruments, and musical paraphernalia clearly signified the former's presence. Comedy props, baking supplies, and a unicycle, somehow stuck to the ceiling, identifying the remaining occupant. Par for the course, more or less, though Lincoln noted a distressing absence of the blueprints Luan had been working on during his previous visit some kind of combination electric handshaker and pie thrower.

What stood out on this particular occasion was a poster hung against the far wall. A high quality, extremely stylized, colored image depicting a very attractive girl clad in green spandex. Her long blonde hair billowing dramatically behind her as she looked down, protectively, upon a comparatively tiny city. It was far too familiar looking for Lincoln's tastes.

"What's the hold up, Linc?" Luan called out, giving him a puzzled look from across the room. She followed his gaze. "Oh." And let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry..." Lincoln cleared his throat as he tried to regain his composure. "I-I just couldn't help but notice that...poster."

"Isn't is great?" Luan asked, puffing up her chest with pride. "I had it special ordered."

"Ah." Lincoln replied, stalling for time as he figured out how to address the elephant in the room. "Yeah, it looks great. That's, uh, that's one of those super heroes that have been showing up lately, right? I didn't realize they had...merchandise?"

"They don't." Luan grumbled, rolling her eyes. "There's practically no information publicly available about them. Companies are probably fighting tooth and nail to secure distribution rights to their likenesses. That..." She gestured to the poster. "Is a commission."

"Really?" Lincoln took another look at the piece. The artwork was quite good. It looked...expensive. "I'm surprised there's a demand for that sort of thing."

"Are you kidding?" Luan looked at him in surprise. "Where have you been? Those girls are HUGE!" Several heartbeats passed, and then Luan's face broke out into a grin. "Get it?"

"Good one, Luan." Lincoln replied, chuckling in spite of himself. Luan took a seat at her and Luna's communal table, motioning for Lincoln to join her and she powered up her laptop. Not long after, Lincoln was surprised to find himself looking at one of those social media sites that people mostly just use to complain about the things they love. Only this one happened to be about...

"The GR Troopers?" Lincoln asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Luan shrugged. "They haven't exactly announced a name for themselves. Half the discourse right now is people fighting over what to call them. 'Powered Rangers' is also gaining a lot of traction." She absentmindedly drummed her fingers on the table "I'm not really fond of either. They're kinda clunky, you know? A name needs a bit more...I dunno, art, put into it. Panache. Something like..."

"Gigant." Lincoln reflexively supplied. He realized his mistake immediately, and clamped his hands over his mouth. Luan didn't seem to notice, lost as she was in thought.

"Gigant..." She repeated, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Referring to the giants of Greek mythology, the _gigantes_?" She nodded slowly in approval. "Not bad, Linc." She then turned to look at him, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Why do you look so surprised."

He was surprised. But he hadn't meant to show it. "N-n o reason." He stammered. She didn't look convinced. "I just wasn't expecting you to casually reference something like that." He admitted, sheepishly.

"I could say the same about you." She replied, poking him in the shoulder. "When was the last time you picked up something thicker than a comic book?"

Lincoln shrugged, defeated. Fortunately, Luan seemed to take it in good humor.

"I'll have you know that there's more to the art of pun making than stringing funny sounding words together." She continued, smirking. "Etymology is what separates the _pundits_ from the _punishers_."

"Alright, alright, my bad." Lincoln said, focusing intently on the screen in the hopes that it would dissuade Luan from continuing. To his surprise, Luan was right, there was quite a bit of discussing concerning Lori and Leni's recent exploits. Who they were and where they came from, the nature of their powers and whether or not they'd prove to be friend or foe in the long run. There were also grainy videos and blurred photos of the girls exploits, oodles of fan art, and...seedier things.

"This guy..." Lincoln coughed, embarrassed, "This guy seems really obsessed with figuring out their shoe size."

"Yeah." Luan shrugged noncommittally. "You get weirdos like that in every fandom."

"But there's just so much of that stuff." Lincoln gestured emphatically at the screen. "So many people fixating on the tiniest details. Hair, feet, legs. Other..." He swallowed. "Other stuff." He winced as an especially graphic, not to mention extremely out character drawing of Leni scrolled past. "Jeeze, this place needs a filter."

"Are you really surprised that people are obsessing over a couple of cute girls in skintight clothing?"

"I guess not?" Lincoln replied, eying a thread catering to people who wanted to be stepped on the girls, with distaste. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "You...uh..." He began, trying to figure out how to phrase this as delicately as possible. "You're not..."

"No, Lincoln, I don't swing that way." Luan rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Typical boy logic."

"Sorry." He laughed nervously. "I just don't really get why you're into this stuff." He indicated Luan's possessions, much more characteristic of the jokester. "Seems kinda removed from your normally into."

"Because I can only like comedy? Just like Luna can only like music, and Lynn can only like sports?" Luan asked, dryly.

Lincoln had been about to reply with an emphatic **_yes_** , due to the strangely single-minded nature of his family, but he felt like this wasn't the answer he was supposed to give, so he kept his mouth shut.

"It's _toku._ " Luan supplied, as if that explained everything.

"...what?" Which couldn't be farther from the truth.

" _Toku_." Luan repeated, gesturing for emphasis. " _Tokusatsu_."

"Are you saying words, or did you just sneeze?"

"Ugh." Luan flung out her hangs in exasperation. "Freaking normies."

She minimized her web browser, and with a few swift clicks, opened up a video. The screen was suddenly filled with clearly aged footage of a man in a brightly colored costume fighting another person dressed as some kind of lizard in the middle of a very tiny, and very fake looking city. There was something strangely familiar about this set up, but Lincoln couldn't quite put his finger on what that was, specifically.

" _Toku_ is basically Japan's take on super heroes." Luan explained. "People who transform into masked heroes and fight bad guys."

"Oh!" Lincoln's eyes lit up with recognition."Right. Clyde's dads bought him some of this stuff on one of their trips to Japan, he got really into it for a while." He chewed his lip thoughtfully. "I didn't really get it. There was a lot of posing, and yelling. And any time anybody does anything, sparks just explode everywhere." Right on cue, the lizard pointed at his opponent and the hero threw himself backwards in an overly dramatic fashion, sparks exploding from every corner of the set.

"It's _pageantry_ , Lincoln!" Luan insisted, bringing up another video. This one was more along the lines of that show Clyde had been into. _Large Ornery Scorpion Cyborgs_ , or something to that effect. "Performance art! It's theater! "

"It's certainly something." Lincoln replied neutrally, watching a wolf man, a mummy, and Frankeinstein's Monster being chased around by a screaming little girl barely half their size. He was about to remark on how the effects in this show looked especially cheap, but then he noticed the hurt look on Luan's face.

"Sorry, Luan." He apologized. "That...came out wrong."

"Everybody I've shown this to thinks its weird." She said glumly, sighing softly. "But I like it. I think it's...I dunno, inspiring, I guess. Good versus evil. Regular people defending the innocent against monsters and stuff, because its the right thing to do."

"I get that." Lincoln gave his sister a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "I like super heroes for pretty much the same reason. And..." He winced. "I also know what its like for people to think that the stuff you like is dumb. But you've gotta admit, it doesn't make a very strong impression." Now the monsters were being scolded by some kind of ghost with a huge nose and chin.

"But!" He continued. "I think I'm kind of getting it. You kind of have to lean into the absurdity, right? Enjoy the spectacle for what it is."

"Exactly!" Luan shouted in delight. She grabbed the younger boy and held him close, giggling at his sputtered protests. But eventually Lincoln settled down and returned the embrace. They sat there for a while, basking in each others company as the trio of brightly colored heroes once again defeated their equally terribly dressed enemies. It was very...comfortable.

"It's getting kind of late..." Lincoln began, haltingly. "But...maybe sometime we could watch more of this stuff? Together?"

Luan felt a strange flutter in her heart. "I'd like that." The pair shared a small smile, and, acting purely on impulse, Luan leaned forward to give her little brother a kiss on the cheek.

This, however, just so happened to coincide with Lincoln turning to address the older girl. The end result was that she missed her mark by quite a bit, and the space that had previously been occupied by the younger boy's cheek now contained a pair of waiting lips. It all happened so fast that Luan was only aware of the faux pas in the instants that immediately proceeded the innocent kiss she had planned, becoming significantly less so.

Their lips met for only a moment, but it seemed to stretch on significantly longer than that. Luan could feel her little brother stiffening in surprise, as they joined together, flesh meeting flesh, but that stiffness swiftly melted away. It was...pleasant. Sweet, and warm. Comfortable. And strangely natural feeling. There was an urge. An impulse to press things further, to explore where this bit of inadvertence might lead. Before she could act on that urge, however, her body was wracked with a jolt of...something. Almost like electricity. The sensation caused her body to jerk back reflexively, and just like that, the moment was passed. The connection was gone, and she and Lincoln were left sitting there in each other's arms, two pairs of eyes wide with surprise.

"Whoops." Luan said, lamely, trying to cover up her growing embarrassment.

* * *

 _If you're finished with your reminiscing, could we get back to the rather **large** problem we have on our hands?_ Seven asked irritably.

There was a short pause. _Oh dear_ , he said, sounding uncharacteristically worried. _I think your sister's humor might be infectious_.


	11. Chapter 11

_And that's all that you recall from that night?_

"Yes!" Lincoln kept his voice low, mindful of his slumbering, oversized sister. "We..uh" He coughed, embarrassed. "We kissed, yeah...a-accidentally, but that!" He gestured towards Luan, "Shouldn't have happened!"

_How so?_

"Because this has never happened any other time when I've kissed Leni or Lori? Because you have a big song and dance you need to go through before you transform someone—"

_I am physically incapable of singing or dan—_

"Yeah, yeah." Lincoln cut off the frustratingly literal minded machine entity. "And most notably, because she's big." Lincoln held out one hand to indicate how the already existing size discrepancy between himself and Luan had been further exacerbated by her unintentional upscaling. "But she's not _unreasonably_ big."

_Define 'unreasonable_ '.

"If this was a normal transformation, the house wouldn't be standing by this point." Lincoln stated plaintively. His eyes then narrowed in suspicion. "Wait, how is it that none of this stuff has occurred to you by now?"

_It has_. Seven replied. _Quite some time ago, and neigh instantaneously. But I wanted to test your own deductive skills._ He paused. _You have performed passably. I suppose that is a significant accomplishment by your standards._

"Gee, thanks." Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Now can you hurry up and tell me what went wrong here?"

_I have...a theory._ There was an uncharacteristic hitch in the machine's voice, a hint of uncertainty that Lincoln was unused to hearing from his normally unflappable advisor.

"Care to share it?" Lincoln asked, when an explanation failed to be forthcoming.

_Not yet. Too much data remains unprocessed. For now, we should rejoin your sisters and inform them as to what has transpired._

"I'd love to." Lincoln replied. "Only one problem."

_And that is?_

Lincoln jerked in place, straining against Luan's ironclad grip, but the arm wrapped around his midsection failed to budge in the slightest.

_Ah. Yes, that is a problem._

"She's not Leni strong. But she's got a real good grip on me." Lincoln was panting from the exertion.

_I may have a suggestion. I have little knowledge of the inner workings of your species, but based on your previous interactions with your sisters, I believe proper stimulation might provide an opportunity to escape unnoticed._

"Meaning?"

_In the words of Ms. Leni, I believe you should 'Feel her up._ '

Lincoln's eyes widened, his mouth forming a perfect "O" as realization set in. Against his will, his eyes were drawn to Luan's now substantially enhanced curves, the pair rising and falling in near synchronicity as the slumbering girl softly breathed in and out.

_As I recall, Ms. Leni seems to enjoy it when you—_

"I know what Leni likes!" Lincoln snapped irritably. He then immediately facepalmed with his free hand, realizing not for the first time just how commonplace his degeneracy had become. Well, no time to dwell on that now, circumstances dictated that he cop a feel on yet another one of his sisters.

Lincoln gently reached out one trembling hand and carefully brushed away a few remaining scraps of Luan's shredded pajama top, taking special care to refrain from making contact with her skin just yet. His task completed, Lincoln took a deep breath, then as gently as possible, cupped her right breast in his hand. He froze as the older girl began to stir, taking advantage of the cessation of activity to marvel at the fact that despite holding a little handful of Luan, a significant amount of her soft, maiden's-flesh bulged outward, incapable of being tamed by his all too inadequate hands. Eventually, Luan settled once more. Lincoln wasn't completely certain, but her smile seemed more pronounced than it had been previously.

Steadying himself once more, and all too aware of the extremely pronounced erection he was now sporting, Lincoln began to slide his fingers up his older sister's mountainous mammary, desperately trying to ignore the fact that Luan was visibly beginning to quiver in his grasp. Once he'd completed his assent, he steeled his nerves one last time, planted one trembling thumb atop Luan's noticeably erect nipple, and pressed down upon it, as if he was igniting the world's softest, and most tantalizing lighter.

" _Oooooooh_."

The effect was instantaneous. Luan let out a low, elongated moan of pleasure, clearly appreciating his ministrations. It was...distracting. So much, in fact, that Lincoln nearly missed his opportunity. As Luan's body spasmed in delight, there was a brief instant where her grip had loosened sufficiently. It proved to be exactly what Lincoln needed. With reflexes born largely out of instinct Lincoln slid out of Luan's grasp like a snake, rolled off the bed and landed onto the floor, harnessing the momentum of the tumble to spring back to his feet, with nary a moment wasted. Lincoln spared one last, longing glance at his still squirming sister, and quietly made his exit into the hallway.

* * *

Lincoln started heading towards Lori and Leni's room, but stopped himself, deciding to first stop by his own room. Since he was up, he might as well change his clothes. No need to unnecessarily complicate things by meeting with the girls while still smelling like Luan. Lincoln slowly made his way down the hall, seemingly managing to make it to his bedroom door without waking anybody else up. Once there, he gently cracked open the door, slipped inside, and allowed himself a small sigh of relief. No need to further complicate the situation by drawing unnecessary attention.

He started towards his closet, then froze, puzzled. Because Lincoln had not slept in his bed the previous night, it stood to reason that his bed should still be in the same condition as it had been when he'd made it the previous morning. Instead, the bed was in a notable state of disarray. Moreover, it looked a lot lumpier than a vacant bed should be. Once again entering stealth mode, Lincoln cautiously crept towards the bed. Now, considerably closer than he had been, he could hear the low rumble of snoring from beneath the covers. Clearly someone had decided to occupy his vacant bed, the only question was who?

Arriving at his destination, Lincoln grabbed hold of the covers, and gently pulled them down. The first thing he saw was Lori and Leni, sleeping peacefully in a loving embrace. The second thing he was was blackness, as the world around him suddenly disappeared. It happened so fast that brief rush of wind past his ears and the warm, soft sensation currently suffusing his body on all sides, being the his only indication that he hadn't suddenly been struck blind by the sight.

"Mornin, little brother." Lori murmured sleepily, nuzzling her face into his, affectionately.

_Sniff, sniff_

_"_ Linky?" Leni asked, equally groggy. "Why do you smell like Luan?

* * *

"...And then I came back here." Lincoln concluded. He and the girls were sitting in a semi-circle atop his bed, having deemed the situation severe enough that it warranted a cease to their impromptu cuddling session.

"You _kissed_ Luan?" Lori asked, crossly.

"She actually kissed me." Lincoln corrected her. "And she didn't do it on purpose, we sort of...fumbled into it."

"I thought Lynn said that a fumble was when you didn't score?" Leni opined. Lincoln and Lori briefly exchanged glances, neither certain as to how literal minded their sister was actually being.

"And then you did that...zappy thing you do?" Lori continued. She looked around, suddenly worried, as if expecting a giant Luan to come bursting through the walls at any moment.

" _I_ don't do that!" Lincoln protested. "Seven's the one who makes all that, embiggening...stuff happen. I just give the energy a place to go." He looked down at the device on his wrist. "Right, Seven?"

_Actually...on this occasion, I think you might have_ , _Lincoln_.

"What is it that you are trying to say, Seven?" Leni pipped up.

_I don't have enough data to be certain, but what I do have seems to support this hypothesis. You'll recall my mentioning that the males of your species react strangely to the energies I infuse you two with to enable your transformations. That is why Lincoln serves as a medium for the transference, as he is unable to harness the energy for himself._

Lori and Lincoln nodded in acknowledgement, remembering their previous conversation on the topic. Leni had started to shake her head, but seeing her siblings reactions, quickly changed it to an eager nod of agreement, the nervous smile on her face rendering the change somewhat pointless.

_As Lincoln said, I did not initiate an energy transfer when he and Luan were intimate with each other._

"Really poor choice of words there, pal..." Lincoln gulped nervously as a large, throbbing vein suddenly appeared on Lori's forehead.

_I have also checked my records, and can confirm that level of energy I am currently storing has remained consistent since your last encounter. Meaning that I could not have caused your sister's transformation._

"Meaning...?" Lori asked, giving Lincoln a sidelong glance.

_It is my belief that by continuing to have served as a medium for gionic energy transference, Lincoln's body has somehow learned to produce its own supply of energy. In essence, he has become a sort of organic battery. Its fascinating, really, I've never seen anything like it._

"So, Linky gave Luan the zappy zap?" Leni asked, her features scrunched up in concentration.

_Correct._ Seven affirmed. _Lincoln, as an organic being, does not possess the same safeguards I do. When he found an appropriate vessel, his body instinctively discharged his stored essence inside of it. Though, I suppose a 'premature discharge' would be a more fitting term, seeing as how there was no need to do so at the time._

Lincoln slapped his hand against his face, groaning at the extraterrestrial device's continued misuse of the english language. He then noticed that Lori had begun to extend her arm in his direction. Lincoln opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, but before he could Lori's pinky finger lazily slid out, and with the all the gentleness of the first snow of winter settling onto the ground, flicked him in the forehead.

"Ow!" Lincoln cried out, as the blow sent him reeling backwards, and very nearly tumbling to the ground. As obvious as it was that Lori had tried to be gentle, it still felt like he'd been pelted in the head by one of Lynn's baseballs.

"Linky!" Leni cried out, pulling the boy close and planting a soothing kiss on his injured face.

"Lori! Don't be mean to Linky!" She admonished her older sister.

"Sorry little bro." Lori did look genuinely sorry, clearly having underestimated her own strength. Then her frown returned. "But you already have _two_ busty girlfriends!" She gestured, indicating herself and Leni. "And then you just, went and _made_ yourself another one!"

His forehead still throbbing as it was, Lincoln was suddenly glad he'd refrained from mentioning the very pleasant chat he'd had with a certain, buxom, raven haired giantess only a day earlier. It seemed like that knowledge could only make the situation worse. Fortunately, Seven unexpectedly came to his rescue.

"You do seem to have a type, Linky." Leni added, unwittingly proving his point. Nestled as he was within her cavernous cleavage, Lincoln felt like it would be futile to argue the point.

" _Et tu_ , Leni?" He asked wryly, taking a different approach.

"Bless you." Sometimes he couldn't tell if the older girl did that on purpose.

_With all due respect, Ms. Lori,_ Seven interjected, getting them back on track, _Lincoln is not at fault here_.

"I'm not?" Lincoln asked, blinking in surprise.

"He's not?" Lori echoed, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

_Indeed_. Seven affirmed. _Transforming an organic lifeform into a gigant is an extremely complex process, that is why devices like myself were constructed to guide the process. Subverting the laws of physics is no small feat, one does not simply 'make' something bigger._

* * *

Elsewhere, the eldritch embodiment of evil, more colloquially known as "Darkness", "Mr. Darkness" to his new hire, and that inutterable growling noise Fiona made in her throat whenever he pushed her too far, was peering over a batch of reports sent over from marketing. Suddenly, he felt the physical body he'd constructed for himself tense up in a way that was, strange and unfamiliar to him. Just as he was about to vocalize his surprise, his body spasmed violently, and he...sneezed.

**_"I don't remember giving this body the capability to do that."_** He murmured to himself, quietly marveling at one of the rare moments of genuine surprise he'd ever felt in the span of his timeless existence.

* * *

_Without the proper training necessary to guide Luan's transformation, Lincoln simply poured himself into her—_

"Oh come on!" Lincoln shouted in annoyance.

— _and without further instruction, the energy simply sat there, likely dispersing on its own over time. That would explain the delay in her growth, as well as the...aberrant growth she experience elsewhere_.

"Great." Lori grumbled, sighing in exasperation. "Alright, so...just how big are we talking?"

Lincoln took a brief moment to run through what he could remember. He reached out and cupped Lori's breasts experimentally, eliciting a squeak of surprise from the older girl.

"L-Lincoln!" She shouted, her cheeks, tinged pink with pleasure decidedly at odds with the anger in her tone.

Lincoln ignored her and continued his examination. Satisfied, he proceeded to fondle Leni's more sizable bosom. She, by contrast, merely cooed in delight, and leaned forward so that he could get a better grip.

"I'd say closer to Leni's." Lincoln announced, nodding appreciatively at the fashionista.

"I win!" Leni cheered, once again grabbing the younger boy and yanking him close for a kiss and a cuddle.

"I was asking how _tall_ she was!" Lori growled, pulling the pair apart. "And you!" She jabbed one finger towards Leni. "You need to get control yourself!"

"But I _missed_ Linky." Leni protested, pouting cutely.

Lori wasn't unsympathetic, she'd missed their little brother herself. With how close the three of them had become as of late, it felt...strange, alien for them to be separated for any period of time. And it wasn't a feeling she particularly enjoyed. Still, they needed to focus.

Suddenly, the human stomachs in the room began to growl loudly.

"Uh..." Lincoln chuckled in embarrassment, and glanced at his clock. "Maybe we should continue this after we get some breakfast in us."

* * *

Lincoln poked his head out of his bedroom and quickly swept his eyes across the hallway. Much to his relief, the hallway appeared vacant. Good, he had no desire to invite unwanted questions, like why his two eldest sisters were hanging out in his room this early in the morning. Motioning to the girls, Lincoln slipped outside and casually began to head towards the stairs. As previously agreed upon, he was given an opportunity to get some distance away from his room before Lori took her leave, followed by Leni shortly after. It would still look strange for them to be there, seeing as the girls' room was on the opposite end of the house, but it was considerably less suspicious than the three of them moving as a unit. Upon reaching the stairs, Lincoln allowed himself a small sigh of relief, feeling like he was in the clear, and he began to make his way downstairs, heartened upon hearing the familiar footfalls of Lori and Leni following suit soon after.

As he descended the stairway, Lincoln heard the distinct, melodic tone of something both delectable and not especially healthy sizzling in a skillet. An experimental sniff of the air downstairs confirmed his suspicions. Eggs and bacon. Somebody was making breakfast. Perhaps, a bit more eager than he should be, Lincoln cleared the last few steps with a short hop, and wheeled into the kitchen, trying to resist the urge to lick his lips.

The sight there was a welcomed one. As he suspected, mom was manning the stove, platters of already prepared food set off to the side while she worked to prepare the latest batch, her spatula sending food flying two and fro in a dance that was, nevertheless, fully within her control. Years of having to feed their oversized family clearly paying off, a master at her craft. Not far away sat Lynn, sipping a glass of juice as she eyed the mounting pile of bacon with laser-like focus.

"Hey, Stinkon!" She greeted him, her jovial tone and the smile on her face taking the sting out of the nickname. But he couldn't fault her on her good mood, bacon day was a special day.

"Lynn." He replied, returning the greeting with a nod of his head. It seemed to him that her smile got a little bigger, but that was more than likely due to the telltale _thump_ that signified the addition of new members to the bacon pile. He discretely ran one hand across his mouth, just to make sure he wasn't drooling. Suddenly, Lynn's expression changed entirely, her cheerful exuberance now replaced with .

"Lori." She growled, tightening her grip on her glass. "Leni." She added in the same tone, indicating that his sisters had joined them.

"Morning, Lynn." Said Leni, blissfully unaware of her little sister's ire. The blonde straightened in place as the sights and sounds of the kitchen at work caught up to her, she drifted towards the stove, caught in breakfast's magnetic pull. Lori wasn't so easy to placate.

"What's up your butt?" She asked, irritably. Lori stopped in the doorway and leveled a glare at her younger sister.

" _Nothing_." Lynn replied, pursing her lips. "Absolutely, _nothing._ "

Lincoln winced at the naked animosity on display. Those two had been at each other's throats for a while now, and for the life of him, he just couldn't figure out why.

"Kids?" Rita called out, not taking her eyes off her work. "Would you mind setting the table? We'll be ready to eat once I finish this last batch." She slid the already prepared platters of food further down the counter.

"Sure, mom." Leni chirped reaching fo the food. Thinking quickly, Lincoln slipped in and snatched up the platter of bacon before she could. Leni blinked in surprise, presumably at how eagerly he'd done so, , but she took it in stride, shrugging her shoulders and moving to pick up the remaining egg platter.

"Hey, Lynn!" Lincoln called out, inserting himself in the middle of his remaining two sisters. He held out the platter and waved it around for emphasis. Immediately, the athlete's gaze turned from Lori, to him, and then platter in his hands, locking upon the still sizzling meat with the same sort of intensity she normally only exhibited when she was in the middle of a competition. Lincoln experimented by moving the platter some more, first side to side, then up and down. Lynn's gaze followed its movements with near perfect precision.

"Come on Lynn, the sooner we get set up, the sooner we can eat." With that Lincoln spun around and started heading towards the door, giving Lori a knowing wink as he passed her. The older girl's only reply was a sniff of indifference, her frown remaining upon her face. Her animosity apparently forgotten for the moment, Lynn hopped to her feet and quickly followed after him.

Lincoln headed towards the dining table, Lynn trailing in his wake, and Leni following shortly behind. Once there, the trio set about preparing the dining area. Glasses, forks, plates and napkins were swiftly retrieved from their respective storage places and spread around in uniformed dining sets both quickly, and efficiently. If there was one thing Louds knew how to do, it was eat.

Lincoln was putting the finishing touches on the final place setting when his ears perked up, detecting the sound of heavy footfalls descending from on high. Dad was out at the restaurant, Mom and the eldest girls were here with him, and there was no way his little sisters would be making noises like that. Which meant, either something terrible had escaped from Lisa's lab (again), or...

Mustering up as much nonchalance as he could, Lincoln turned around, slowly and deliberately. As suspected, there was Luan. An uncharacteristically unhappy Luan, slowly and unsteadily making her way down the stairs, as if struggling against gravity itself. She was doing fairly well until she got about halfway down, then a clumsy, miscalculated step threw the whole process off kilter. Expecting to find purchase and finding only cruel, empty air in its stead, Luan began to topple over. She swing her arms out, presumably attempting to regain some semblance of balance, but with her increased mass it was a fruitless endeavor. In a last ditch attempt to save herself, she desperately reached out for the banister, but as she wrapped her fingers around the normally solid wood, it shattered in her grasp, an almost comical look of surprise spreading across her face as her grip reduced that portion of the banister to splinters. Then gravity took its toll, and Luan tumbled to the ground. Lincoln winced in sympathy as she bounced once, twice, and then finally landed at the foot of the stairs in a crumpled heap.

* * *

Luan's tumble was met with only silence from Lincoln and his sisters.

"Pfft, HA HA HA HA HA!" Well, mostly silence. "Way to stick the landing, Luan!" Lynn jeered, barely managing to choke out the words, doubled over with laughter as she was.

Lincoln shot a worried glance towards his athletic sister, hoping she would take the hint. Unfortunately, Lynn wasn't even looking his way.

"I thought it was Summer, but apparently it's FALL!" Lynn burst out into another round of giggles, pounding one fist upon the table to punctuate her amusement.

"Lynn..." Lincoln hissed, trying to get her attention. Too late, unfortunately. Luan shot an angry glare at the younger girl, and began climbing to her feet.

"Luan!" Lori called out, as she. entered the dining room. "Mom says she's told you not to practice your routines on the—" The eldest Loud daughter cut herself off as she took in the scene before her. "Wow" she murmured, almost so low that Lincoln was barely able to hear it.

The reaction was not unwarranted, Luan wasn't looking much like herself at the moment. The normally colorfully dressed, cheerful girl was now anything but. Her hair flowed freely in the air, incapable of being contained by a run of the mill scrunchie at this point. In place of her traditional outfit, she now wore a set of gray, unflattering sweats, likely borrowed from dad's closet in light of the fact that her usual wardrobe was unlikely to fit her at her current size. The clothes were unflattering to the extreme, but they did much to hide her newly acquired curves, save for the noticeable protrusions in the chest area, and the dull grey coloring matched surprisingly well with the dour, unhappy expression on her face. Lincoln suddenly regretted leaving her alone as he had, he could only imagine how terrifying it might have been to wake up in the state he'd left her in.

"S-shut up, Lynn!" Luan shouted, face red from both anger and embarrassment as she tried to climb unsteadily to her feet. Eventually her feet found purchase, and she was able to rise up from the floor. Struggling with her new center of gravity as she was, Luan was incapable of standing up completely straight, but even crouching as she was, she still loomed over the younger girl. It was difficult to accurately measure her from his current vantage, but Lincoln estimated she was somewhere in the neighborhood of seven feet tall now. Which was worrying, given that would make her considerably larger than she'd been earlier this morning.

Unfortunately, Lynn was too consumed with her own amusement to see the impending danger. "What are you going to do?" The sporty Loud wheezed, still doubled over with mirth. "Fall on me?" Luan's eyes flashed with anger, and Lincoln immediately recognized that Lynn had made a terrible mistake.

Letting out a low growl from deep within her throat, Luan lurched forward and swiped at Lynn, the sound and movements making her seem less like the free spirited jester that she was, and more like an angry bear. Fortunately, Luan has misjudged the distance between them, and she missed Lynn by a considerable amount. Unfortunately, she ended up hitting the table instead, and even heavy as it was, the sheer power behind the blow sent the table flying high into the air, scattering foot and silverware in all directions. Lincoln's sigh of relief quickly turned into a gasp of terror as the table bounced off the ceiling with a loud _thump,_ and quickly began plummetting back towards the ground, directly towards him and Lynn.

Acting purely on instinct, Lincoln dove forward, tackling Lynn to the ground in the hopes that they would clear the impact area. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite forceful enough, and he could already see that they weren't going to escape the worst of it. Lincoln held the other girl close and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for gravity to take its toll. There was a loud _whump_ , sort of sound, and then...silence. The very palpable sensation of impact, but no pain. Cautiously optimistic, Lincoln slowly opened his eyes. There was the tabletop, only scant millimeters from his soft, vulnerable flesh. Lori and Leni were flanking the heavy slap of wood on each side, his sisters keeping it safely held aloft, and away from their younger siblings.

"You okay, little bro?" Lori asked, worried. Completely unphased by the load she was casually holding. Lincoln was about to reply in the affirmative, when a loud, distraught gasp drew his attention.

Lincoln turned his gaze towards Luan, who stood completely still, aghast, hands clamped over her mouth in shock.

"I didn't..." She whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I didn't mean, to..." She trailed off, sobs wracking her body.

"Luan!" Lincoln called out to her, but before her could say anything else, the comedienne leapt to her feet, and fled back up the stairs in a surprising display of athleticism, in stark contrast to how clumsy she'd been only moments earlier.

The only sounds that could be heard were those of loud, heavy footfalls, followed by a door slamming in the distance.

_You might have handled that better_. Seven opined.

* * *

**OMAKE WHICH IS TENTATIVELY CANON:**

Panic had set in as Royal Woods found itself under attack by yet another rampaging monster. The rampaging beast, looking remarkably like a shapely female in a black body suit, cackled with glee before taking a deep breath, and then expelling a blast of white hot flame from its mouth. While no hapless citizens were caught in the blast, having wisely learned by this point to quickly flee in the exact opposite direction whenever a giant woman in skintight clothing made an appearance, a number of immobile and _distressingly_ flammable vehicles were. The resulting explosion could be heard for miles, the blast itself rising high into the air, not unlike the rapidly mounting value of the property damage being accrued by the rampage. The woman surveyed her handiwork, letting out a dark, satisfied chuckle. Then...

_WHAP!_

She found herself reeling from a large, heavy blow delivered directly to her face. As she jerked backwards, vision blurring from the liberal application of blunt force trauma to her person, she caught a glimpse of the object that had felled her so, an enormous...news reporter's microphone?

A second giantess stepped onto the scene, her caramel colored skin pleasantly juxtaposed against her yellow coat and skirt. With practiced ease, she snatched the microphone out of the air and brought it close to her face in a single motion, not slowing her stride for an instant.

"Katherine Mulligan here, coming to you live from an astounding height of fifty-feet tall." She said with a confident smirk on her face. "I'm here with the beast that has been rampaging through our beloved city. Tell me, ma'am, do you have any last words before I heroically defeat you on national television?"

"Y-your mic isn't connected to anything." The other woman observed, her words slurred as a result of he recent head trauma.

"Ha HA!" Came Katherine's reply, and she delivered a second mighty blow to her opponent's face.

"I am vanquished!" The woman exclaimed. "In a manner which is sure to result in unprecedented ratings!" She then exploded into a dazzling array of crowd pleasing colors. A mighty cheer arose from those, previously unlucky enough to escape the site of the monster attack, and Katherine took a moment to bask in her well earned glory.

"Thank you, citizens of Royal Woods" She continued, once the raucous had subsided somewhat. "And now for Patchy Drizzle with the weather, while I..." She let out a dark chuckle of her own, "...pay a visit to my ex-boyfriend."

" _KATHERINE!"_

Katherine Mulligan awoke with a start, arms flailing wildly before finding purchase against her desk, just in time to prevent her face from having a very unhappy reunion with her keyboard.

"Katherine!" The voice called out again, noticeably irate. "I need the report on that dog show! And I need it ASAP!"

"I'll be right with you, boss!" She called back, "Right after...these..." She frowned as she took in the sight of her word processor displaying several hundred pages of sleep induced gibberish. "...messages." She sighed unhappily, and went about correcting the damage caused by her impromptu nap.


	12. Chapter 12

"Just keep your mouth shut, and let me do all the talking." Fiona barked, the hostility in her voice distinctly at odds with the way her palm shook as she attempted to grasp the doorknob that led to Darkness' domain.

Maggie shrugged indifferently as she watched the older girl try to master her emotions. She was an intern, it wouldn't make any logical sense to blame an fresh new hire for mistakes that clearly stemmed from failure on the part of upper management. Besides, she was still fairly confident in her unassailable logic that this whole battle between good and evil, thing, was dumb. On, like, a conceptual level. Frankly, it just seemed like there were better things they could all be doing aside from having these random punch ups in the middle of the city. A brief flash of memory, Maggie protectively holding a tiny, white haired boy against her chest as the ground shook around them, Fiona desperately screaming for help, the older girl swiftly being buried under an avalanche of the scary blonde girl's punches. Maggie suddenly found herself feeling uncharacteristically flushed, and absentmindedly adjusted the collar of her shirt.

Thankfully, her senior co-worker was too occupied with her own problems to notice. Fiona finally managed to jimmy the doorknob opened, triggering a brief burst of disorientation as time and space went sideways and orange, respectively, and when reality came back into focus Maggie found herself and Fiona seated in Darkness' office. The eldritch horror sat at his desk opposite them, hands folded neatly in front of him. There was something incredibly off-putting about how calm he appeared to be.

 _ **"Welcome back, humans."**_ He greeted them in a low and even tone. **_"How did it go?"_**

* * *

Maggie and Fiona exchanged worried glances. Despite her earlier instructions, Fiona didn't immediately volunteer a response, seemingly considering her words. Finally, she spoke.

"We—" She began.

She didn't get to say anything further, Darkness snapped his fingers and Fiona was immediately engulfed by a fiery explosion. It was over so quickly that Maggie would have assumed she was simply seeing things, had the other girl's shriek of terror not been still ringing throughout the room. One minute Fiona had been sitting next to her, and the next she was gone. A large scorch mark and bits of blackened chair the only indicator that anything had been in that spot to begin with.

 ** _"So..."_** Darkness unfolded his hands, then refolded them. **_"How did it_ go?"**

 **"** Did..." Maggie ventured, hesitant. "Did you just kill her?"

 ** _"What?"_** Darkness didn't have eyes, per se, but Maggie got the distinct impression of someone blinking in genuine surprise. **_"Why would you even say that?"_**

Maggie gestured wordlessly towards the still smoldering remains that now occupied the same space that had previously contained Fiona only moments prior.

 ** _"Oh."_** Darkness gestured dismissively. **_"That._** _ **"**_

"Um...yeah." Maggie replied, still not sure how she was supposed to be reacting to what appeared to be a fairly deliberate, and not at all spontaneous combustion. "People don't normally do that."

 ** _"She's fine. I already know the two of you failed miserably, I just wanted to see whether or not Fiona was going to cop to it."_** He clapped his hands together, decisively. **_"Since she was clearly going to regale me with a thoroughly uninteresting tirade of excuses, I sent her away."_**

"...Alive?" Maggie asked, still feeling the need for clarification in light of the devastation that was only scant inches away.

 _ **"Of course."**_ Darkness began rummaging through his desk. **_"I call it 'Explosive Teleportation'. All the convenience of teleportation with all of the pain of exploding. A ha!"_** The embodiment of evil let out a cry of triumph, and produced a rolled up bundle of poster paper. **_"It's Darkness Inc.'s new flagship product. Here's the advertisement the boys in marketing put together."_**

Maggie accepted the posted with no small amount of trepidation, and carefully unfurled it. The image contained within depicted a small group of carefully diversified children standing in a semi-circle, pointing and jeering as a familiar looking scorch mark on the floor. "Explosive fun for the whole family!", read the tagline.

 ** _"What do you think?"_** Darkness asked, leaning forward expectantly.

"It...um..." Maggie swallowed nervously. "It actually says 'Expurooosion Teleportation.'"

The temperature in the room suddenly dropped several degrees, in a decidedly not metaphorical manner. Maggie found herself shivering as the view from Darkness' window suddenly depicted a light snowfall.

 ** _"Does it, now?"_** Darkness reached over and activated his intercom, the other end instantly picked up and responded with a series of chirps and clicks. **_"Hello, Jeff."_** More clicks, considerably more nervous sounding. **_"Yes, I was just looking it over. It appears you've failed me."_** The voice on the other end immediately responded, the tone unmistakably pleading. **_"I'm sorry Jeff, but I just can't tolerate this kind of sloppy work. Consider your entire department fired."_**

Presumably heading off any further pleas for mercy, Darkness punctuated his declaration with a snap of his fingers, his other hand still holding the intercom button. There was a loud noise on the other end, followed by screams of agony. Maggie watched as Darkness held down the intercom button for several minutes, seemingly relishing the sounds. Finally, he disengaged the intercom with a small sigh of satisfaction. Maggie was fairly certain that she could detect a new, entirely separate smell on the wind. It smelled like charcoal, and disappointment.

 ** _"Now then."_** Darkness turned to address her once more. **_"I'd like to hear_** **your _version of what happened at the park._** ** _"_**

Maggie gulped nervously, exerting every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep from glancing fearfully at the still smoldering patch of ground next to her.

* * *

"...so then the scary girl piledrove Fiona into the ground and we all high fived."

 ** _"Why did_ you _high five_ them _?"_** Darkness asked.

Maggie coughed, suddenly nervous. "I was worried they might start hitting me next. Also, it _was_ kind of awesome."

 ** _"I see."_** Darkness stroked his chin in contemplation. **_"I suppose I can't fault you for that, especially with Fiona exercising her special brand of uselessness. Again."_**

"Speaking of..." Maggie gulped audibly, "What...exactly...happened to her?"

 ** _"Nothing she won't recover from...with time."_** Darkness chuckled. **_"Technically speaking, Fiona is head of HR for Darkness Inc. I generally let her get away without doing the work that comes with the position, because it's much more amusing to watch her get beaten up by those Gigant girls. Buuuut this particular screw up resulted in a_ lot _of paper work, so..."_** The pinpricks of light that seemingly functioned as the creatures eyes suddenly took on an ominous red glow. **_"...I decided it was time to rectify that."_**

"But she is...alive, right?" Maggie pressed. The older girl was annoying, but it would set a bad precedent is Darkness started casually murdering his human employees.

 ** _"Of course."_** Darkness reached over and activated the intercom again.

"Paperwork! Paperwork everywhere!" Fiona's beleaguered voice wailed over the tiny speaker. "It's even in my explosion wounds!"

"Close enough...I guess." Maggie said with a small shrug.

 ** _"Quite."_ **Darkness switched off the intercom and settled back into his chair. **_"Now lets talk a little more about that boy you seem so fond of."_**

"W-what boy?" Maggie asked, trying to ignore the sudden burning in her cheeks. "I don't think I said anything about a boy."

Darkness snapped his fingers again, causing Maggie to instinctively flinch in fear. Fortunately, there was no conflagration this time. Instead, a small notebook dropped into his hand, and a pair of stylish reading glasses appeared on his face.

 ** _"You actually mentioned him a number of times."_** Darkness said, flipping open the notebook and glancing over the first page. **_"You described him as being really, really, really, really, really..."_** Darkness flipped the page. **_"...really cute."_**

"O-oh." Maggie stammered. "That boy." She fidgeted in her chair, pulling her legs up off the floor and into her chest, her favorite position. "His name is Lincoln. He's...um, nice."

 ** _"So I gathered."_** Darkness said, bemused. **_"But I'm more interested in what his role in this whole thing might be."_**

"What do you mean?"

Darkness thumbed through his notebook, slowly and theatrically. **_"You mentioned that those girls, one of whom was that blue girl Fiona had brawled with previously, and the other, presumably the green one, arrived at the scene appearing to be normal humans."_**

"Pretty normal." Maggie shrugged. "They were wearing those colors even in their normal clothing, which..." She trailed off, frowning. "...actually seems kind of weird, now that I think about it."

**_"Indeed. But more importantly, you said they transformed into their Gigant forms before the_ fight."**

"One of them did." Maggie corrected him. "The blue one." She shivered slightly. "The _scary_ one."

 ** _"And the boy, Lincoln. He was the one who facilitated the transformation."_** Darkness prompted.

"Y-yeah." Maggie could feel the heat begin to creep back into her cheeks. "He...k-kissed her."

 ** _"That thing humans do with their mouths."_** Darkness leaned back, dismissing his notebook with a wave of his hand. **_"I've encountered many of these pests in the past, and I can't say I recall ever seeing that particular method employed. Interesting."_**

"He...he said they were his...sisters." Maggie said, quietly, almost whispering the last word.

 ** _"Oh."_** Darkness blinked. **_"How...progressive. My perusal of your media had led me to believe that sort of thing was frowned upon."_**

"It is!" Maggie growled, breaking out of her self-made cocoon and slamming her fists down on the armrests of her chair. "It's _weird_! And on top of that, they—" She cut herself off, as Darkness' words sunk in. "...wait, you've seen out media?"

 ** _"I have a decent amount of downtime between Fiona's failures."_** He gestured to the far wall of his office, and Maggie was surprised to see a rather large, and very expensive looking television mounted there. **_"And you people seem to have a fetishistic love of turning the suffering of your own kind into entertainment. It's delightful."_**

"...Right." Maggie replied, neutrally, still bewildered by the idea of a cosmic space horror taking time out of his day to watch television. She took her seat once more, now embarrassed by her uncharacteristic outburst.

 ** _"It sounds like you don't agree with their methods."_** Darkness posited, his tone somewhat...softer, than usual.

"...I-I don't..." Maggie said, haltingly.

 ** _"It sounds to_ me _..."_ **Darkness pressed on, seemingly ignoring her reply. **_"That these girls might be using poor little...uh..."_** The notebook appeared in his hand once more, and he quickly glanced through it. **_"Lincoln."_** The notebook poofed out of existence. He leaned forward, folding his hands in front of him. **_"It sounds like these girls are using their poor little brother for their own gain."_**

Maggie fidgeted in her seat, unhappy with this line of thinking. "T-they seemed...happy...together."

 ** _"Come now,_ ****_Maggie."_** Darkness gently reprimanded her. **_"From what you've told me, this Lincoln sounds like a fine upstanding young man."_** Darkness whipped off his glasses dramatically. **_"Do you really think he'd be the type to get up to illicit activities with one of his sisters? Let alone two of them?"_** He stood up, and began to walk around the desk, his stride slow and purposeful. **_"Why, a boy as nice as Lincoln...he'd probably just do whatever his sisters told him, right?"_** He reached Maggie, and placed one hand upon her shoulder. **_"No matter how...indecent."_**

Maggie found herself shivering as images came to her, unbidden. Those older girls manhandling Lincoln with their weird, freakish strength. Shoving his face into their oversized boobs. Pressing their lips against his...

"Noooo." Maggie whined softly, hiding her face in her knees. Darkness gave her a gentle, conciliatory pat on the back, saying nothing for a time. Maggie barely noticed, so consumed was she by the increasingly graphic places her imagination took her to.

 ** _"Tell me, Maggie."_** Darkness said at least. **_"How did you like that darkseed?"_**

Maggie flinched again, pulled from her visions by memories of what had happened earlier that day. "I didn't like it." She mumbled.

**_"Truly?"_ **

"Y-yeah." Maggie replied. She then nodded, somewhat redundantly. "It was scary."

**_"Because of that girl?"_ **

"Kinda."

Darkness clucked his tongue (did he even have one of those?) **_"I don't think that's true, Maggie."_**

Darkness stepped around her chair, and crouched down so he was directly in front of Maggie. She found herself drawn to those strange eyes of his. Like candles, flickering amid the shadowy void that was his being.

**_"I think you're scared because, for the first time in your life, you felt strong. Powerful. Like you were finally in control. And I think what scares you, is that you enjoyed it."_ **

"N-no..." Maggie protested, as her mind, once again, went back to her time at the park. When her very steps caused the ground to quake. When she could effortlessly uproot trees and crush solid metal with her bare hands. When she held that sweet little boy in her hands. Completely at ease, for the first time in her life. Unafraid that he might think her weird, as was so often the case with the other kids at school, because...it didn't matter what he thought. In that moment, he was completely and utterly at her mercy. And if she wanted him to stay with her, there was nothing he could do about it.

As she ruminated, Darkness returned to his seat. He reached placed one hand upon his desk, and when he removed it a moment later, there was an object sitting there, one which hadn't been there previously. A darkseed.

**_"It seems to me, that what Lincoln truly needs right now...is a hero."_ **

"Yeah?" Maggie asked, distantly. She realized she was staring at the seed. She realized, that she wasn't entirely certain as to when that had started.

 ** _"Someone who could be strong, for his sake. Rescue him from those mean sisters of his, and take him somewhere_ safe."** He drummed his fingers on the desk. The sound was oddly soothing. **_"Someplace where they couldn't find him. Some...place...like..."_**

"Here?" Maggie supplied, still staring. "You...you could protect him, right?"

 ** _"I could."_** Darkness answered, nodding in agreement. **_"But...if_** **you _were powerful enough. I don't think I would need to. You could protect him all by yourself."_**

"Yeah?" Maggie felt her arm begin to twitch. She was beginning to remember how it felt, when she'd crushed that little black seed in her hand. That rush of energy, transforming her from the weird little emo girl people made fun of, if they noticed her at all, into something far greater. Something stronger.

 ** _"And I bet..."_** Darkness leaned forward, finally drawing her attention away from the seed. **_"...I bet that Lincoln would be so...so very grateful, to whomever rescued him. Why, I bet he wouldn't even know where to begin to repay their kindness."_** He lowered his voice, almost to the point of whispering. **_"I bet he'd just_ love _them."_**

Maggie couldn't quite remember what happened next. One minute she'd just been sitting there. Looking at her employer. Then at the seed on his desk. Sitting there, beckoning her. Then, quite suddenly, she was on her feet, her hand only inches away, from the item in question. She very likely would have snatched it up, were it not for the obsidian-colored hand that was wrapped around her arm, holding her in place. Maggie found that she very much wanted to shake off the unwanted restraint, but one look at her employer stopped her cold. He was smiling. Genuinely smiling, not a hint of malice in place. That's what her brain told her, at least, her eyes insisted that the featureless void standing before her was incapable of such things.

 ** _"Easy now."_** He said, chuckling to himself. **_"All in good time."_** He slowly released her arm, and beckoned for Maggie to sit down before returning to his own seat.

 ** _"What you've seen Fiona do with these things is mere child's play."_** He said, picking up the seed and rolling it between his fingers. **_"My power of capable of so much more, even when wielded by someone as weak and frail as your kind. Before you run off to save your little friend..."_** He tossed the seed up and deftly snatched it out of the air as it came tumbling down. **_"...I think I should give you a bit more instruction. Show you what you're really capable of."_**

Maggie found herself nodding along. After all, it was better to be safe, than sorry. For Lincoln's sake.


	13. Chapter 13

Lori let out a small sigh of relief as she returned to the relative sanctuary of Lincoln's room. She glanced around for the sake of formality, mostly out of habit. Luna was still out somewhere, presumably with Sam. Following the incident at breakfast Luan had holed herself up in her room and remained there ever since. Not long after, an ashen faced Lynn had followed suit, seemingly shaken from having come very close to being flattened, and she had just verified for herself that the youngest Louds were downstairs, doing as they did under the watchful eyes of their parents, blissfully unaware of the the morning's drama. Lucy remained the only Loud completely unaccounted for, and Lori knew that actively looking for her spooky sibling was an exercise in futility. One did not simply _find_ Lucy Loud, unless she wanted to be found.

Thus, content in the knowledge that she had done the bare minimum to adhere to the security measures that she, Leni, and Lincoln had agreed upon, and far too mentally fatigued to care any further, Lori let herself into Lincoln's room, pleased to find that the door had been left unlocked in anticipation of her arrival. She still had trouble with doors. An unlocked door was pretty manageable as long as she kept calm and paced herself, but a locked doorknob quickly turned into a lump of crushed, useless metal in her hand, she had no idea how Leni managed it ("I just, like, turn the thingy, Lori.") Lana had started asking inconvenient questions around the fourth time she'd been asked to replace Lincoln's knob in a fairly short amount of time, so Lincoln had opted to simply leave his room unlocked if he knew she was coming.

Lori was even more pleased to find Leni and Lincoln sitting companionably on Lincoln's bed together. For the moment, it was nice to be free of the drama, of the stress. It was just her, and her two favorite people in the world.

"So..." She asked, taking her seat opposite Leni, one of them on each side of their little brother. "I've been trying to keep mom and dad from blowing a gasket over the ruined table. Hope you guys have been working on a plan to fix Luan."

"Ya huh." Leni replied, nodding with that big Leni smile spread across her beautiful face. "Linky's going to seduce Luan."

* * *

Lori took a moment to dust the plaster off her hand before returning to her seat. Lincoln said nothing as he retrieved one of the many posters he kept on hand for just such an occasion, and applied it to the fist shaped hole now ventilating his wall. He figured he could do this about three more times before he'd have to bring Lana in to start patching things up. Again.

"You guys want to run that by me again?" Lori asked through gritted teeth.

"I _said_ , Linky's going to—"

" _Seven!_ " Lincoln yelped as he leapt back onto the bed, wrapped his arms around Lori's angrily twitching body "Why don't _you_ explain the plan to Lori!".

_Very well._ The machine grumbled as Lincoln began to rub soothing circles into his older sister's back.

_As you know, our hypothesis based upon the data available to us, is that Lincoln has inadvertently infused Ms. Luan with gionic energy. Lincoln's inexperience with the process has caused Luan to undergo a sort of pseudo-Gigant transformation, resulting in an irregular increase in her body mass, which is causing her no small amount of distress._ Three heads nodded in near unison, signifying understanding.

_Moreover, as we observed this morning, the process does not appear to be complete. Luan has continued to grow, likely as a result of the energy she was infused with continuing its function without any sort of oversight, and she shows no signs of stopping._

"Great." Lori grumbled. "Can't wait to see what April Fools is like when Luan's the size of a house."

Both Leni and Lincoln winced at the thought. "Well, at least we'd be able to hear her coming." Lincoln supplied, trying to find the bright spot in that dismal vision of April Fools Yet to Come.

_Fortunately, it shouldn't come to that_. Seven interjected. _I believe I might be able to salvage the operation Lincoln began, manually take control of the wayward process in motion and correct it, assuming Lincoln can once again interface with your sister._

"And by 'interface', you mean..." Lori prompted, her expression showing that she suspected what the answer was and didn't care for it.

_Lincoln will need to kiss Luan again, obviously._

"Obviously." Lori twitched in annoyance.

"And he needs to get to second base with her." Leni added, drawing perplexed looks from her siblings.

"Is that like, part of the calibration process or something?" Lori asked, uncertain.

"No." Leni interjected before Seven could respond. "But Linky's really good at being, like, touchy feely." She beamed at the younger boy and planted a kiss on his cheek. "And Luan looks like she needs to feely touchy."

" _Touche_ , Leni." Lori replied, rolling her eyes.

"Touchey!" Leni sternly corrected her.

* * *

One quick detour to the kitchen, and Lincoln was on his way to Luan's room, a satchel of goodies at his side.

_"Mom and dad want us to go to the movies as a family tonight."_ Lori had said. _"But fixing Luan takes priority, so I'll convince them to let you stay home and take care of her. That should give you all the privacy you need to..."_ She grimaced. _"Do...whatever it is you need to do."_

It sounded all well and good on paper, but Luan was in a fragile emotional state right now, it felt wrong to try and ingratiate himself to her under false pretenses. Also, she was huge and kind of scary right now, which didn't do much to help his nerves.

_You'll be fine, Lincoln_. Seven said, in an oddly reassuring tone. _You have proven surprisingly adept at gaining the affection of your blood relatives thus far, I see no reason why things should be any different with Luan._

"That's _not_ something to be proud of!" Lincoln hissed, glancing around warily.

_Truly? You seem quite content when you're with Ms. Leni and Ms. Lori. In fact, just the other day I distinctly remember the three of you—_

"Lincoln?"

Hello convenient distraction. Lincoln turned his attention outward, happy to be pulled away from that particular conversation. Lynn's head was poking out of her doorway, the sporty Loud looking uncharacteristically apprehensive. He quickened his stride, and was gladdened to see that his older sister's worry seemed to abate somewhat, a small smile found its way onto the athlete's face as he made his approach.

"Hey, Lynn." He greeted her, smiling in spite of his nerves. "Feeling better?"

"A little." She gingerly stepped out of her room, quickly looking up and down the hallway before pulling her door closed behind her. However, Lincoln noted that she didn't actually shut the door, instead leaving it opened just a crack. "I was actually hoping to run into you."

"Really?" Lincoln drawled. "Well it's pretty luck you did. What, with me living all the way over there—"

"Shut up!" Lynn growled, cutting him off with quick shoulder punch. Lincoln chuckled as he rubbed the impacted area, now she was looking like her usual self.

"Listen!" Lynn waved her hand in front of his face to ensure she had his attention. "I wanted to get out of the house for a bit, thought I'd go for a run."

"Aren't you guys all going out tonight?"

"A quick run!" Lynn snapped. "I run fast! It's what I do!" She looked like she wanted to say more, but stopped herself and took a deep, calming breath.

"Anyway, I thought maybe you could..." Lynn trailed off, blinking in surprise. "Wait, what do you mean 'you guys.'"

Lynn looked him up and down. Then she took a long look up the hallway, towards Luan's room. When she turned back to him, she looked significantly less happy than she had been.

"You're gonna go to that, 'best brother in the world', thing that you do, aren't you?"

Lincoln coughed, embarrassed at the unexpected complement. "I mean, I'm going to try."

"You remember that she tried to kill me earlier, right?" Lynn asked, dryly.

"But she didn't!" Lincoln protested. "Besides, you were kind of asking for it."

"How was I supposed to know that this was the one day Ms. Pranks-a-Lot couldn't take a joke!" Lynn crossed her arms and looked away. "Besides, the only reason I didn't get flattened was because..." She cleared her throat. "b-because you...saved me." Ah, that was it.

"Look, Lynn." Lincoln stepped forward and put one comforting hand on Lynn shoulder. "You didn't need me to save you. I was just quicker on the draw than you were. And I didn't even do that good of a job of it."

"Seems like it was a good enough job to me." She turned back to him, lips quirking upward around her frown. "I mean, I didn't get flattened, right?"

_"Actually, that's because our superhuman sisters stepped in to intervene. Which is also my fault, by the way."_ Is what Lincoln wanted to say. Instead, he just shrugged noncommittally. "Well, now I've got to try and help Luan. I mean, you'd want me to help you if you were feeling down, right?"

Lynn didn't respond, but her expression softened considerably. Suddenly, without warning, the older girl lunged at him. Years worth of instincts honed from countless sibling brawls kicked in and Lincoln flinched, simultaneously bringing his fists up in a sorry excuse for a boxing stance. Seconds later, his brain caught up, helpfully informing him that he didn't appear to be under attack.

_I don't believe she is attacking you, Lincoln_. Seven opined redundantly.

Lincoln lowered his gaze, ever so slightly, and found his field of vision obscured by a field of chestnut brown hair. This, combined with the crushing weight around his waist, led Lincoln to realize that Lynn wasn't attacking him.

_See? I told you that you had a talent for this._

Lincoln ignored his companion, lowing his hands and awkwardly wrapping them around his older sister, returning her gesture of affection.

"Just be careful, Linc, okay?" Lynn asked, her voice strangely quiet.

"I'm always careful."

She snorted. "No. You're not. Ever. But try this time, okay?"

Lincoln chuckled in response, and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "I promise."

"And...also..." Lynn tightened her grip on him, the hug going from tender to fierce in an instant. "Tell her that if she lays one finger on you, I'll break every one of her funny bones."

"I think they're all funny." Lincoln gasped, touched by the sentiment, even as Lynn squeezed the very breath from his body.

"Challenge accepted!"

* * *

Lincoln approached Luan's door with no small amount of trepidation, though feeling somewhat encouraged by that strangely heartfelt exchange with Lynn. He noted the telltale signs of her passing: large indentations in the carpet from her footsteps. Cracks in the wall on both sides of the hallway, presumably from where she'd lost her balance and tried to steady herself, unused to compensating for her increased size and weight. And, most telling of all, what could charitably be called her bedroom door. What had once been a stalwart defender of the teen aged girl's room, resolute in defending her privacy from all who might threaten it, now hung loosely in its frame. Only a single hinge holding it up by a metaphorical thread, while the door itself was covered in numerous, crisscrossing cracks. So numerous, in fact, that Lincoln was pretty sure he could actually see into the room if he squinted.

Lincoln leaned forward to test his theory, but misjudged the distance, accidentally thumping his head against the mass of wood.

"Ow." Said Lincoln, more out of habit than anything, surprised at how little the impact had actually hurt, quietly marveling at how such a thing could be. It was only moments later that his query was answered, as the door began to tremble, and with one final shudder, collapsed into a pile of splinters and broken dreams. Saying a silent prayer for his fallen foe, Lincoln carefully stepped over the remains of the door, and into his sister's room.

* * *

"It's traditional to knock before you enter a lady's room." A tired and irritated voice called out as Lincoln entered the room. A quick scan of his surroundings did not reveal his oversized sister, as he'd expected. But the large mound of blankets atop Luan's bed seemed like a likely suspect for its source.

"Okay." Lincoln said, clearing his throat as he crept towards the bed. "Knock, knock."

There was no response, so Lincoln crept a little closer before stopping again.

"Knock, knock." He repeated, straining his ears for a response. Finally, his patience was rewarded.

"Whose there?" Came a soft, almost imperceptible reply.

"Your brother." Lincoln replied, maneuvering himself a little closer before stopping again. One more, he waited for a response.

"My brother, who?" The reply came a little faster this time. Seizing the initiative, Lincoln tiptoed forward a bit more, now coming to a stop right in front of the bed.

"Your brother...uh...Lincoln?" He finished lamely. "Who is me." He held out his hands awkwardly, as if to say, "ta-dah!"

A pair of big brown eyes poked out from the folds of the blankets, quickly darting around the room before finally settling on Lincoln.

"That was...terrible." She said softly. "Really, really terrible."

Lincoln shrugged, not contesting the statement. "I'm not a comedian." He said. "I just play one in my sister's room."

There was a soft snort of derision as the blankets shifted, revealing Luan's face. She seemed to have calmed down since the incident this morning, but the older girl's usual cheer was emphatically absent. "Take my advice, kid." She said sardonically. "Don't quit your day job."

Apathy seemed like a much safer bet than anger, so Lincoln decided to push his luck. Unshouldering his satchel, he sat down on the bed, and leaned against Luan, quietly marveling at the size difference between them. He suspected she'd grown since this morning, but it was hard to verify exactly how much with her laying down the way she was.

"Come on, Luan. I thought you were my _biggest_ fan." Lincoln felt his heart leap up into his throat as he felt Luan tense up next to him. Seconds passed, and he began to worry that he might have touched a nerve there. Then...

"Pffft. HA HA HA HA!"

Lincoln let out a soft sigh of relief as Luan's laughter rang throughout the room, quite possibly the first time it had done so that entire day. It was a good sound, and he allowed himself to relax for a moment, soothed by the cadence of the older girl's mirth.

"You're a dork, Lincoln." Luan said, fondly. She freed one hand from her makeshift cocoon to wipe a stray tear from her eye, while reaching out with the other and wrapping it around him. The motion dislodged a layer of blankets, and they fell from her frame, revealing a bit more of her shapely frame. Specifically, her enormous breasts, barely contained within her borrowed sweats, gently undulating up and down in response to their newfound freedom.

"And you're my breast friend." Lincoln said without thinking. As soon as the words left his mouth, he let out a quiet yelp and clamped his hands over his mouth, as if that could somehow contain the damage. Luan gave him a strange look, but, to his surprise, there wasn't a hint of anger in it. Wordlessly, she tightened her grip on him, and gently pulled him closer to her, until he was face to face with her mammoth mammeries.

"See something you like, little boy?" She asked, coyly.

"Busted." Came Lincoln's immediate reply. A moment passed, and the pair broke down laughing once more. Luan flopped backward onto the bed, still giggling, dragging Lincoln along with her, due to her ardent refusal to loosen her grip on him. Lincoln allowed it to happen, having little choice in the matter, and soon found himself cuddling with the larger girl.

"Thanks, Lincoln." She said at last, once laughter had downgraded to mirthful tittering. "I really needed that." She opened her mouth, as if to say more, but a loud grumbling noise emitted from her stomach, and she immediately closed it, reddening with embarrassment.

"Sorry." She said, wincing. "I...uh..."

"Got it covered." Lincoln reassured her. He reached one arm out towards his sachel, but couldn't quite reach it, constrained as he was by Luan's iron cuddle. He looked back at the girl, and gestured for her to release him. Luan frowned, seemingly not pleased by the request, but she complied anyway. Lincoln rolled towards the edge of the bed, retrieved his bag, then hurried back, his return trip quickened by Luan reaching out and yanking him back towards her.

"You left before we could eat." He explained, rifling though his bag. "So I made you some sandwiches." Finding what he was looking for, he retrieved a small armful of hastily wrapped packages. He handed them to Luan, who accepted the bundle gratefully, and then immediately began to tear into the parcels.

"I also, uh..." He fished around a bit more, before producing a usb drive. "I grabbed a few episodes of that show I was telling you about, the one that Clyde's into." Luan managed to tear her gaze away from the sandwich she was currently violating, and look at him, questioningly.

"That toku one." He clarified, flushing slightly, suddenly feeling self conscious. "I don't know if it's any good, but you like that stuff, so I thought...maybe we could watch it." He coughed. "Together."

Luan said nothing, looking at him, then at the flash drive, then at the deconstructed pile of meats and cheeses she was partway through consuming, and finally back to him.

"Where have you been all my life?" She asked, quietly.

Lincoln didn't know how to respond to that. "Right down the hallway, I guess?" He replied, laughing nervously. "Right where I've always been."

Luan considered this for a moment, then nodded. She set aside her half finished meal, and pulled Lincoln into a tight hug. "I guess you have been." She said, laughing softly as she nuzzled her face against his.

* * *

"Not to be that guy..." Lincoln began. "But they keep using this exact same footage in every single episode."

"Watch." He pointed at Luan's laptop. "That guy pushes the button to fire a missile. Then it cuts away to three enemy ships flying away from his ship. Then the ships do a completely unnecessary loop-de-loop right into the missile, which manages to destroy all three of them at the same time."

He could feel Luan shrugging behind him. The pair was lounging sideways on her bed, Lincoln playing the part of the little spoon to Luan's much larger spoon. It had been somewhat awkward at first, as the only way they could comfortably arrange themselves into that position was for Lincoln was to rest his head within the older girl's cavernous cleavage. But Luan didn't seem to mind, and Lincoln couldn't deny that Luan had the most comfortable pair of pillows he'd ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

"It's stock footage." She explained. "Filming this stuff is expensive, and these shows are made on a shoestring budget. So they try to reuse as much stuff as possible. Sets, costumes, and even entire scenes, just like that one."

"Is that why every single fight happens in that other dimension?" Lincoln queried. "So they can just keep reusing that same set with the fog and the black background."

"That's right." Luan giggled, tightening her grip on him and planting a kiss on the top of his head. "Look at you, Mr. Big Brain."

_"How gracious, coming from Mrs. Big Bo—"_ Lincoln once again clamped his hands over his mouth. He hadn't actually said anything this time, but after his previous outburst, he didn't trust himself. Confident that he had things under control, Lincoln lowered his hands, and nonchalantly glanced over his shoulder. Luan was looking right at him, a knowing smirk on her face.

"Something you want to say, Linky?" She asked, teasingly.

"Nope." He replied quickly, and turned back, trying to focus on the show. Luan giggled, much to his embarrassment, causing the soft flesh underneath his head to quiver slightly. Then the older girl leaned down, pressing her cheek against his.

"Hey, Linc?" She asked, her warm breath tingling pleasantly against his skin. "I just...I just wanted to say that I'm really grateful for you being here."

"N-no problem, Luan." He stuttered, taken aback by the girl's sudden closeness. "Seemed like the right thing to do." They laid there, for a bit, enjoying the intimacy.

"I just don't know what happened to me." Luan said at last. "One day I'm perfectly normal—" She cut herself off. "Well, you know. Normal for me." She let out a self-depreciating chuckle. "And the next, I'm suddenly a giant freak."

"Come on, Luan." Lincoln protested, turning around to face her, trying to ignore the way she squirmed as he inadvertently manhandled her melons. "You're not a freak."

"Lincoln. There's a hole in my doorway where my head crashed through, and I'm so stacked I make Leni look like Lynn." She replied, dryly.

He couldn't argue with that. "But you carry it well."He replied, trying anyway. The flat, unamused look she was giving him suggested that he'd missed the mark, just a bit.

"Look, Luan." He began again, this time demanding his brain provide him with better words. "You've always been beautiful, and that hasn't changed. There's just...more of you now."

"You make it sound like I'm fat." She grumbled, giving him a squeeze.

_"Certain parts of you are."_ His oxygen deprived brain briefly opined, but he quickly reasserted control over himself.

"The point is, you're not a freak. You're just different now. And there's nothing wrong with that. There could never be anything wrong with you." He wasn't quite sure when it happened, but at some point during his speech, he'd reached up and gently cupped the larger girl's face in his comparatively tiny hand. "As far as I'm concerned, you're perfect. And you always have been."

Luan let out a slight gasp, and suddenly her already large face looked so much larger. It took Lincoln a moment to realize that was because of proximity, though who was moving closer to whom, he couldn't say. Regardless, the comedienne looked absolutely lovely in that moment, and any doubts he'd had about that night vanished, as those last remaining inches between them disappeared.

* * *

_"What am I doing?"_ Luan asked herself as she lay there, passionately making out with her little brother.

_"Enjoying myself."_ She replied, as she felt Lincoln's tongue slip into her mouth, gently teasing against her own, eliciting an involuntary, but incredibly pleased moan from her. Wow, where had little bro learned to do that?

_"With Lincoln!"_ That annoying part of her growled, strangely transfixed on that point.

_"I know!"_ Luan took Lincoln's tiny hands in her own and pressed them against her enormous breasts, shuddering as the younger boy's small, but strangely talented hands danced over the surface of her pleasure peeks. _"And he's distressingly good at_ this!"

Luan rolled onto her back, pulling the boy along with her. Lincoln clearly knew what he was doing, and Luan had every intention of allowing her little brother the space he needed to work his craft. Reluctantly, but realizing that air was quickly going to become an issue at this rate, she broke the kiss, just for a moment, allowing the younger boy to come up for air. It seemed she had made the right decision, as he immediately began to greedily suck in lungfulls of precious, life preserving oxygen. Luan giggled at the sight, and chose to allow him a few more moments respite. With the way her motor was revving, it was likely to be the last bit of rest he'd get for a while.

And there, in that instant, at least to her hormone addled brain, everything seemed perfect. Lincoln straddling her, his love struck eyes illuminated by the light of moon peeking through the window. That same light, suddenly...vanishing...as the night sky outside was suddenly replaced by a giant...eyeball?

"What...the—" That was all Luan was able to say before an enormous hand came crashing through her bedroom wall, and her world went black. A moment later, her vision returned. But as she lay there, head swimming from the suddenness of it all, she instantly realized that something very important was missing.

"Lincoln!" She called out, trying to get to her feet, and immediately falling to the ground as her body began to convulse. Pain wracking her body as tiny yellow sparks began to dance along her skin.

* * *

Lincoln gulped fearfully as the world around him went black, twisting and turning as he lost all sense of orientation. It was a sensation that had become far too familiar to him as of latte. Eventually, things settled enough, that he was able get his bearings, somewhat. He still couldn't see anything, but knew, intrinsically that it wasn't from blindness. He reached out and felt around a little, confirming his suspicions. Fingers. Yep, he was being held in an enormous hand. And seeing as how Lori and Leni weren't the type to destroy their own family home, that left a distressingly short list of suspects as to who his captor could be. Once again, vertigo overtook him as the ground beneath him surged upward, and then vision, at last, as his prison began to unfurl around him.

"HELLO, LINCOLN." He winced, at the sheer volume of the greeting. Once the discomfort had passed, he finally managed to get a good look at his captor, and nearly collapsed with relief.

"Hey, Maggie!" He shouted up at the raven haired girl

A small smile broke out across the girl's face. "YOU REMEMBER ME?"

"Of course!" He looked around noting that, as he suspected, he was suspended a considerable distance off the ground, held within the giantess' palm. "Not that I'm not happy to see you—"

"I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU TOO!"

"Fantastic!" He squawked in surprised as the giant girl took him in both hands and began to nuzzle her enormous cheek against him.

"Maggie!" He shouted, trying to get her attention.

"WHOOPS." She released him from her grip, carefully tilting her palm so he had a flat surface to sit upon. "SORRY ABOUT THAT. I GUESS I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY."

"That's fine!" He called back. "But speaking of being carried away..." He trailed off, and gestured around him, feeling like the situation spoke for itself.

"OH." She said, apparently realizing what he was getting at. "RIGHT. UM, I GUESS I'M KIND OF KIDNAPPING YOU."

"Ah." Lincoln replied, unsure how to respond to such a frank admission. "Any chance you could...not? I was kind of in the middle of something. And..." He blinked as a brief flash of memory returned to him. "And I think you might have smashed my house. Just a little."

"NOPE." Maggie shook her head emphatically. "BUT DON'T WORRY! I'M TAKING YOU SOMEPLACE SAFE!"

Lincoln had been about to respond by saying that this was, under normal circumstances, a perfectly safe neighborhood. But circumstances immediately conspired to prove him wrong.

"Look out!" He shouted, pointing past the giant girl's head. Maggie, for her part, immediately jerked her head to the side, just in time to avoid being smacked in the head by a flying car. There was a loud crash as the improvised missile smashed into the ground some distance below them.

"HEY!" A voice cried out. In unison, Lincoln and Maggie both turned towards the source, and Lincoln let out a gasp of surprise. There stood Luan, every bit as large as Maggie, and looking considerably more angry, her modesty barely preserved by two strings of clothing fragments that had inexplicably stretched out just enough to form a sort of makeshift bikini. She strode forward purposefully, seemingly undeterred by her state of undress, every step audible as her enormous feet crashed against the ground, her significantly more enormous breasts swaying in the wind, straining to be freed from their precarious confines. She stopped a short distance away, relative to her current size, and gestured threateningly at the raven haired giantess with one gigantic fist.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" She snarled, eyes flashing with barely repressed rage.


	14. Chapter 14

Luan and Maggie faced off, towering high above the neighborhood below them. The former, a titan of sisterly vengeance. The latter clearly weirded out by the half-naked giantess screaming at her.

"Give me back my little brother!" Luan snarled, shaking her fist threateningly at the raven haired colossus. Her unbound hair, flowing wildly in the night air, lending a certain manic edge to her actions. She stomped one foot on the ground for emphasis, inadvertently flattening some poor sap's car in the process, but neither girl payed the blatant property damage any heed.

"...Or what?" Maggie asked tilting her head to one side.

"Or...or I'll clobber you." Luan replied, puzzled. She shook her outstretched fist again, this time with a little less certainty. "I thought that was kind of self-explanatory."

"I'm being screamed at by a giant exhibitionist." Maggie explained, patiently. "I'm not taking anything for granted at this point."

"I'm not an exhibitionist!" Luan screamed, charging forward and taking a swing at the other girl, Maggie just barely managing to dart out of the way in time. "I just can't find anything in my size!"

"And you're one to talk!" Luan continued, punctuating each sentence with another followup attack. "That suit looks like it's painted on you!" _fwoosh_ "But seriously, can I get the name of your tailor?" _whiff_ "This Nancy Archer look just isn't doing it for me." _fwip_ "And more importantly..." _swish_ "Can you" _shoop_ "Stop...DODGING!?"

Growing increasingly frustrated with her inability to land a hit on her opponent, Luan followed her last exclamation with an over exaggerated wind-up motion. Maggie dodged again, not recognizing the feint for what it was, and found herself right in the path of Luan's other fist.

_SMASH!_

The sound of that rage propelled punch finding its target was like music to Luan's ears, and there was a brief, crystallizing moment where time seemed to stop, the other girl's bewildered face contorted by the meaty hook she'd just taken straight on. Then, physics returned from its bathroom break, and the force of the blow sent Maggie flying a short distance away, her king sized keister victimizing a poor toolshed that was just doing it's job.

 _"Ha!"_ Luan crowed "I knew you were thirsty for _punch_!"

Dazed from the blow, Maggie felt around with her free hand, the one that wasn't protectively cradling her literal boy-toy, and staggered to her feet.

"You _hit_ me."She said, dumbly, swaying unsteadily as she found her footing.

"In the face!" Luan affirmed.

"My own father never hit me." Maggie murmured, gingerly feeling the impacted area.

"Well...I'd hope not." Luan replied, blinking in confusion. "That would be domestic abuse."

Maggie abruptly stopped swaying, and locked gazes with Luan. There was a certain intensity in her eyes that hadn't been there previously. Slowly and deliberately, she reached up with one hand, and began to unzip her bodysuit, exposing a glimpse of her own considerably cleavage.

"Woah, woah!" Luan shouted. Holding her hands up in protest. "Look, I'm not one to judge, but I don't swing that way!"

Rather than replying, Maggie simply deposited her literal boy toy in the crook of her plentiful peaks.

"Don't worry, Lincoln." She whispered, adjusting her cushioning in an attempt to provide maximum comfort to her tiny passenger. "I'll protect you."

Task completed, Maggie straightened up, then settled into a combat stance.

"Round two." She growled.

* * *

"Seven!" Lincoln yelped as he struggled against the most comfortable cushions he'd been trapped between that day so far.

_Think you might narrow that down a bit? This has been a strange day, even by your standards._

"Why is Luan big!?" Lincoln clamped his mouth shut as the world around him began to tremble. Maggie had finally engaged Luan properly, charging across the battlefield and locking arms with the opposing giantess, each girl struggling to overpower the other. It was terrifying, trapped as he was.

"...ger." He corrected himself as his vision suddenly became nothing but the vast expanses of Luan's maidenflesh, smashing against Maggie's own glorious globes, not unlike a pirate ship preparing to board a hapless merchant vessel. "Why is Luan so much bigger?!"

_I told you I was going to fix her._

"RAAAAH!"

Lincoln flinched as another quake rocked his prison, a wordless cry of aggression from one of the titanesses above him splitting the sky.

"I thought you were going to make her smaller!" He shouted, once the ringing in his ears had subsided somewhat.

 _No. I was trying to_ fix _her._ The machine repeated, as if he was slow. _By wayof finishing the job you started._

"GET OFF!" Maggie roared as she struggled against the economy-sized comedienne.

"I WAS GONNA!" Luan retorted. "BUT THEN YOU SMASHED MY HOUSE AND KIDNAPPED MY BROTHER!"

Maggie's face scrunched up in confusion, as she puzzled over this response. Then understanding dawned upon her, and she faltered somewhat, loosing a bit of ground in the process. "Y-YOU...A-AND HIM...?" The normally pale girl's complexion reddened considerably.

"HEY!" Luan barked, getting right up in Maggie's face without breaking the grapple. "I DIDN'T JUDGE YOU FOR HITTING ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE KINKSHAME ME!"

Red turned to purple, as an enormous vein began to throb on the other girl's forehead. "I WASN'T—EEP!"

Lincoln desperately tried to drown out the conversation happening around him, choosing instead to focus on what Seven had sad earlier."

"Wait, it was always the plan to make her this big?" He asked, as the struggle between the two giants began anew.

_More or less, yes._

"With me trapped in the house with her?!"

 _I told you._ Seven replied, exasperated. _You can't just_ make _something bigger, or smaller for that matter. The only way to restore her original size was to complete the process you'd already begun._

"By turning her into a gigant?" There was an explosion of air pressure as Luan landed another decisive blow on Maggie, the Raven haired girl lurched backwards a few steps from the impact, though thankfully retaining her footing this time.

_Precisely._

"Then why is she naked?" Lincoln jerked his head towards Luan's still swaying mammeries. "Mostly naked." He corrected himself. "Almost implausibly, just barely clothed. To the point where it's almost worse than being outright naked."

_Because I didnt have a chance to complete the process._

* * *

Maggie reeled from the blow she'd just taken, but managed to avoid tumbling over again with a defiant stomp of her foot on the ground. She wobbled, just a bit, but it seemed like she'd managed to stay up.

Rage, a strange and unfamiliar sensation to a girl who's default response to most things was blase indifference, coursed through her being as she glared at her opponent. Luan, apparently heartened by her repeat success, was bouncing on the balls of her feet, jabbing confidently at the air, clearly eager to resume the melee. The motion had the inadvertent effect of causing her oversized breasts to gently undulate up and down. Seeing this, Maggie found herself cupping her own breasts, for the first time in her life feeling self conscious at how small they seemed by comparison.

 _"What the heck do those Loud girls eat?"_ She thought to herself. _"Bad enough that she was forcing poor Lincoln to play her sick games, but she was probably smothering him with those things too!"_ She blinked, as another trecherous thought wormed its way into her psyche. _"Wait...he doesn't...like them like that, right? He couldn't possibly. Those things are ridiculous!"_ Maggie unconsciously squeezed her boobs together, wondering, fearfully, if they might not be enough for Lincoln. She was drawn from her thoughts with a start, as a frightened yelp rang out. It was at that point that she realized she was very likely crushing her precious cargo.

"Sorry, Lincoln!" She hissed into her chest, mortified at the faux pas. Much to her relief, a tiny hand jutted out from her cleavage and gave her a reassuring thumbs up.

"Hey, Sadsacks!" Luan taunted. "We doing this, or are you just going to keep touching yourself?"

Maggie abruptly released herself with an embarrassed squeak. Then the rage returned. She turned towards her opponent, shaking with barely repressed fury, and raised one trembling fist. Time to stop messing around. She hadn't wanted to hurt anybody, but this girl was asking for it. The time had come to show off the fruits of her training...

* * *

 ** _"Now,_ _Maggie_ " **Darkness began. **" _The key to mastering the terrifying cosmic energies I have bequeathed unto you and your explosion-prone coworker, is_ willpower."**

"As in, mustering the desire to succeed against all odds?" Maggie asked.

 ** _"No."_** Darkness gently corrected her. **_"That's dumb."_**

Maggie dutifully jotted this down in her notebook, before looking back up at her employer, signaling that she was ready to proceed.

 ** _"That self-help book stuff forces you to entertain the possibility that failure is an option, however remote it may be. When you wield the power to flip causality on its head, this is a thing we call..."_** A whiteboard appeared beside the entity, and he carefully began to write upon its surface in nice, neat handwriting. **_"_** **S-T-U-P-I-D"** He underlined the word three times and drew a frowney face next to it. Darkness took a moment to consider his work, then, seemingly satisfied, returned to his seat.

 ** _"Instead,"_** He continued. **_"Consider your enemy to be a thing that needs to be crushed."_** Maggie raised one hand, waiting to be called upon. **_"Not literally!"_** Maggie put her hand back down, and resumed writing in her notebook. **_"I meant...uh, metaphorically?"_** Darkness floundered somewhat, searching for the right words. **_"It's hard to translate these concepts into ideas that can be understood by beings who can only conceive of a finite number of dimensions. You need to impose your will upon your opposition. Force them to submit to your interpretation of reality, because it is inherently more valid than their's. Is any of this making sense?"_**

Maggie flipped her notebook around, displaying a page consisting entirely of one giant question mark.

 ** _"...Alright."_** Darkness said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. **_"Maybe a practical demonstration would be helpful here. We'll start with something simple."_** He reached over and activated his intercom. **_"Gladys? Send in Richard from accounting."_**

A few moments later, the door to Darkness' office opened up, and one of his small, insectoid minions waddled in, this one wearing suspenders and a pair of horn-rimed spectacles. Maggie sat up, looking on with interest. The strange little people who staffed Darkness' nebulous operations were always so funny and—

Darkness snapped his fingers, and in an instant Richard was engulfed in a pitch black pillar of crackling black energy. When the pillar dissipated, all that remained of the creature was his slightly scorched glasses. Maggie looked to Darkness, questioningly, her lower lip trembling.

 ** _"Oh."_** He said, noticing her expression. **_"Don't worry about him, he was stealing lunches."_** Maggie scowled, walked over to Richard's remains, and kicked the glasses into the wall, at which point they shattered into tiny pieces of charcol and glass. She then returned to her seat.

 ** _"Good girl."_** He said, nodding approvingly. **_"Richard was a particularly loathsome creature, so I decided reality was better off without him."_** Darkness shrugged indifferently. **_"It's possible he may have disagreed, but that didn't matter because my will was stronger than his. Understand?"_**

Maggie pondered this. "What if I don't want to...uh, explode people?"

Darkness sat back in his seat, pondering this. **_"Well, I suppose we should start with baby steps. You are, after all, limited by your pitiful meat parts, both literal and figurative. I suppose we'll have to work our way up towards cosmic annihilation."_** He looked at Maggie, then back to what little remained of Richard, then back to his protege. **_"For the moment, when you need to deal with bad people, just make this motion with your hands..."_** He demonstrated for the girl's benefit. **_"And recite this simple verbal command..._** **"**

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Maggie formed a fist with her hand, then extended her thumb and pointer finger, resulting in something that looked vaguely like a handgun. She nodded at her handiwork, then pointed her makeshift weapon at Luan. The girl in question frowned in confusion.

"What are you trying to—"

"Pew." Maggie said. The instant she did so, a blast of pure black energy erupted from her finger and rocketed towards he opponent. Luan just barely managed to jerk out of the way, sending the blast careening past her. She looked at the empty space that she had been occupying only moments earlier, and waved one hand through it, noting that the air that the blast had passed through was still hot. Distressingly so.

"What in the—"

"Pew, pew." Maggie recited. "Pew." Each utterance causing another blast of obsidian energy to fire. Within moments, Luan was frantically darting too and fro, desperately trying to avoid the fusillade of projectiles.

* * *

"Wow." Lincoln remarked, having finally managed to wriggle his head above flesh level once more. "This got one sided really quick."

 _It already was_.

"Yeah." The white haired boy conceded, gesturing towards Luan's desperate, but impressive display of acrobatics. "But now it's one-sided in the opposite direction."

 _Fate is a fickle_ _mistress. Or so I'm told._

"It helps when one side has lasers." Lincoln opined. "Speaking of, you were saying that you couldn't finish the job on Luan?"

_Correct. Maggie interrupted the process. I would estimate that I was somewhere around 80% complete when you managed to get kidnapped from the comfort of your own home._

"That's why Luan has the size, but not the super powers." Lincoln mused, choosing to ignore the barb. "Is it still possible to finish Luan's transformation?"

_Absolutely. But you would need to reestablish contact with her. Which seems like it would be...difficult, given the circumstances._

"I have confidence in Luan. She'll give me the opening I need, I just need to wait for it."

Decision made, the pair continued to watch the scene before them, Lincoln noting that Luan was, ever so slowly, managing to close the distance between the pair.

 _A question._ Seven announced, not waiting for Lincoln to acknowledge him. _I thought you were fond of this girl._

"Maggie?" Lincoln reddened slightly. "Yeah, she's nice. When she's not kidnapping me."

_Then why work to assist in defeating her?_

"Friends don't let friends be corrupted by evil energies." Lincoln replied. "Or something. Besides, if this keeps up, Luan's going to get blown to smithereens."

 _When you put it that way, I suppose that is the most sensible decision_.

* * *

"Pew pew! Pew!"

Luan twitched in irritation before swaying through another round of energy blasts. This was getting really, _really_ annoying! Fortunately, years of clowning had made her incredibly flexible.

"Pew pew pew! Pew pew!" Which was the only thing keeping her alive, at the moment. She cartwheeled past the next few blasts, just barely managing to adjust her trajectory so as to avoid crushing a neighbor's house under her oversized hands. Almost there, she just needed to get a little closer...

"You've done well so far!" Maggie announced. "But now it's time for my ultimate attack!" The raven-haired girl took a deep breath, and Luan readied herself for what was certain to be an impressive display of power.

"Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!"

Luan couldn't help but feel disappointed as her vision suddenly filled with a seemingly endless torrent of those same stupid energy blasts.

"Dang it!" She grumbled, crouching down, and preparing to make her big move.

* * *

"Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!Pew!" Maggie began to pant from the exertion of reciting her special attack phrase. "Pew!" She spat one last time, before wobbling forward catching herself before she fell over completely again. She took a deep, ragged breath, before straightening back up again, and pointing her finger towards Luan once more. Except...Luan wasn't there anymore.

"Did I win?" She asked, looking around puzzled. That was when she heard the telltale sound of air being displaced by something incredibly large. Which sounded like it was coming from right above her—

* * *

"Taste the agony of, DE FEET!" Luan roared as she sailed downward, having flagrantly spat in the face of physics by leaping high into the air, and landing upon her opponent feet first. The impact was incredibly satisfying, doubly so when the momentum of her blow downed the other girl once more, causing her to slam into the ground with a meaty, earth shaking _WHAM_. Luan pressed her advantage by quickly scrambling up, and rushing towards her downed foe, wrapping herself around the other girl with the practiced ease of a expert contortionist.

"And now for _my_ special attack!" She announced. "Boobie Trap!" Having pinned the dark haired girl's limbs down, and presumably cut off her ability to fire those stupid energy blasts, Luan proceeded to smother the other girl with her ridiculously oversized tits. She garnered a certain, strange satisfaction from watching the brother-napper squirm, trapped within her absurd cleavage.

* * *

 _I think that's your opening._ Seven opined, as Luan's gunboats docked against Maggie's face.

"Yep." Lincoln nodded in agreement, freeing himself from his confinement with a mighty jerk of his body. "Hang tight buddy, this is going to be rough..."

* * *

It was at this point, wrapped around her wriggling opponent as she was, that Luan realized she hadn't thought beyond this point, and didn't really have any idea of where to go from here. She supposed her only real option, unless she wanted to get blasted again, was to simply hope she could hold onto the other girl long enough for her to pass out.

"Mrrrrglf flump!" Maggie screeched, her words muffled by the copious amount of padding around her face.

"What was that?" Luan taunted, chuckling to herself. "I couldn't quite make that out."

"I...said..." Maggie growled, beginning to crackle with black energy. That...didn't look good...

"Get...OFF!" She roared, a blast of energy exploding from her body in all directions, sending Luan careening backwards.

* * *

The stars were bright tonight. Luan observed. But those birds that kept flying past her face were getting really, really annoying.

"Luan!" Called a tiny voice...probably really far off. She didn't want to be Luan right now anyway. Luan was getting shot at by magic lasers, and exploded by magic explosions. She wasn't entirely certain, but those really angry sounding footsteps were also probably going after Luan too. Yeah, definitely seemed like the best thing to do was to just lie down for a while. Let someone else be Luan.

"Luan!" there was that voice again. She pursed her lips, trying to remember why it sounded so familiar. But it was hard to focus. The birds wouldn't shut up, the ground wouldn't stop shaking, and now there was this really distracting tingling down by her chest. She didn't mind that last part so much, it was actually feeling kinda nice. Just a little bit higher, and she'd—

"Luan!" The girl started, surprised as a tiny figure suddenly appeared in her line of sight. She tried to focus, but her head was swimming. Something really familiar about him too. Cute looking though...

The tiny boy scrambled up and onto her face, with a surprising degree of nonchalance. As if he practiced climbing up giant girls on a regular basis. Definitely familiar looking. Name started with a...letter of some kind. Was he Luan?

"Um...look." He said, breathing heavily from the exertion. "I know things look pretty bad for you right now, but I'm almost certain I can fix it. Maybe. Anyway, you just gotta trust me on this, okay?"

"I have this many fingers!" She shouted, wiggling her toes for emphasis.

"Hoo boy..." He grimaced, looking at his wrist. "You sure she's going to be okay if we do this?"

_Better than she'll be if we don't. We're out of time, initiate the transfer!_

That...was weird. She heard another voice, but she didn't see anyone else. Maybe the cute boy could throw his voice. Like that dummy. Uh, Colonel Crackers? Wait, that wasn't quite—

"Here goes nothing." The boy muttered, running up to her lips and taking a deep breath. "Sorry about this Luan!"

 _"I dun wanna be Luan!"_ Is what she had intended to yell out, but then the small boy pressed his lips against hers, and she was suddenly distracted boy how nice it felt. This wasn't so bad at all. Moments later, when a feeling not unlike electricity began to course through her body, she abruptly changed her mind. This felt _fantastic_...

* * *

Maggie approached her fallen foe, breathing ragged, exhausted from that unexpected burst of power. She needed to remember to ask Darkness what that was all about...but for the moment, everything was fine. She'd managed to free herself from the crazy girl. Now, all she had to do was make sure she was down for the count, and she and Lincoln could finally get away from all this insanity. Just the two of them. Maybe he could get a job with her. Maybe he could have _Fiona_ 's job. She could definitely get behind that. Lincoln as her supervisor definitely sounded like an upgrade. He wouldn't yell at her so much, that's for sure. Unless she was really, _really_ bad. But Maggie was confident that the pale haired boy could come up with more...creative solutions, to curb her wayward behavior...

Maggie was pulled from her pleasant daydream as Luan's downed body exploded in a blinding flash of light, the effect exacerbated considerably to eyes that had grown accustomed to the dark. She flinched away, and began rubbing at her eyes, desperate to massage vision into them once more.

When her vision finally returned to her, she was dismayed to see that the body was gone. And considerably more dismayed to see the bright, spandex clad figure standing in its place. Looking completely unharmed, and distressingly energetic, this far into the battle.

"Justice had found you, villain!" She proclaimed, posing dramatically, her white scarf and long flowing hair waving behind her in perfect, concerted unity. "Your brother-thievery stops here!"

She pointed at Maggie as burst of sparks erupted behind her, briefly illuminating the night sky. "For now you face the Emissary of Laughter, Gigant Yellow!

"...What?" Came Maggie's eloquent reply.


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

"Toh!" Luan cried, leaping into the air in an impressive display of acrobatic prowess, given the sheer amount of mass she was carrying. Maggie looked up, trying to track her flight path, and—

"Angry sister KICK!" Staggered backwards as, for the second time that night, she was kicked in the head by a flying giantess.

"Stay Away From My Little Brother-SLAP!" Luan called out, twirling around in place and harnessing the momentum to deliver a meaty, open palmed smack to the black-clad girl's face, sending her crashing to the ground. Again.

"You could probably stand to shorten those attack names." Lincoln opined from his place on her shoulder.

"Lincoln Shut Up And Let Me Enjoy This-RETORT!" Luan growled, glaring at her diminutive brother.

"I'm trying to remember when things made sense..." Maggie groaned as she struggled back to her feet. "And failing miserably."

"That's not the only thing that's going to be miserable." Luan quipped, chuckling to herself. "Time to end this."

Luan drew her fist back and took a deep breath. "Luan's Ultimate Special Deluxe Hyper Fighting Miracle—" She paused to take another breath, swinging her arm forward as she did so. "—Golden Delicious Magnum-PU—" And abruptly choked on her words as Maggie caught her extended appendage with one hand, before it could meet its mark.

"...That's actually really impressive." Luan grudgingly admitted, wincing slightly at the sheer strength of the other girl's grip.

Maggie's eyes narrowed, and her free hand suddenly ignited, ebony-black flames surrounding her clenched fist, though seemingly causing the girl herself no pain.

"And that's even more impressive!" Luan cried out, redoubling her efforts to free herself. "How are you even doing that!?"

"I...don't...know!" Maggie growled, her flames suddenly doubling in intensity. "But I really want to hit you with it!"

Luan instinctively flinched away, squeezing her eyes shut as Maggie lurched forward, preparing for what was almost certain to be the most painful experience of her night so far. But...nothing came. Moments turned to seconds, and still, no pain. Finally unable to take it any longer, Luan gingerly opened her eyes. There, floating only inches away from her face, was Maggie's flame-clad fist.

"Pew." Maggie spat, and Luan's world went black. She was right, it did hurt. A lot.

* * *

Luan jerked back into consciousness with start, uncertain how long she'd been out, and immediately regretted it. Pain was still a thing, apparently. Also, she was on her back, when she distinctly last remembered being on her feet.

"Lincoln?" She groaned, waiting for her vision to come back into focus. "You still alive?"

"Yep." Came a familiar voice, directly into her ear. "This kind of thing happens all the time with Leni, I know what to hold onto.

"Leni?" Suddenly realization dawned upon her, and she felt really stupid. "Aw man, she's the green one, right? Shoot, how did I not see that? She covers her face with a friggin visor! And it's see-through!"

"Don't blame yourself." She could feel Lincoln giving her a consoling pat on the cheek. It felt nice. "Those visors are really effective for some reason. I think it's the technology, or something."

"Technology?" She hemmed. "So we're sci-fi genre, not fantasy?" A more pressing issue suddenly made itself known to her. "Hey, uh...I think I feel something poking my butt..."

"Yeah..." She could _feel_ the wince in that reply. "You fell on our garage. Good thing the rest of the family's out."

That was something, at least. The world was starting to come back into focus, and Luan made to start getting up, hissing at the throbbing that the motion elicited from her...everywhere, really.

"How long was I out?" She asked, trying to sit upright.

"Well, I've got good news and bad news for you."

"Hit me."

"The good news is you were only out for a few seconds, near as I can figure."

"And the bad news?" She regretted asking, the _instant_ the words left her mouth, as the ground began to quake in tune to a very familiar sounding set of foot steps.

"The bad news is Maggie's still here. And she looks _mad._ "

* * *

Awesome. Luan squinted so as to focus her vision, and...yep, there was the other girl. She was hobbling a bit, and breathing heavily, emphaized by the rising and falling of her prodigious bosom (Geeze, how did Linc survive those things?). But she looked angry _and_ determined, a dangerous combination in their current state.

"Lincoln?" She asked, trying to control her quiavering voice. She was the big sister, dammit (in more ways than one, heh), and she had to be strong for her little brother. But..."Truth be told, I'm not sure I can actually beat her. You seem to have experience with this, so if you have any suggestions I'd be _happy_ to hear them."

"Uh..." She turned her head to see the pale haired boy perched on her shoulder, desperately wracking his brain.

"Leni's the one who usually handles this stuff, right? What does she do?"

"Leni?" He pondered this. "I mean, there was that one...kinda weird thing that happened once, but normally she just yells 'Leni Punch', and that usually resolves everything."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Luan groaned, slapping her forehead in frustration. "'Leni Punch?' That's the _stupidest_ —"

Luan trailed off, goggling in bewilderment as, at her utterance, her right hand suddenly began to crackle with bright yellow energy. "I _refuse_ to believe that works!"

Lincoln shrugged. "I find it's best not to ask questions when Leni's involved."

* * *

Luan stared at her hand, now shining with energy. "Hey Linc..." She giggled, waving at him. "Looks like I'm carrying a torch for you." It pleased her to see the way he blushed at that...but wait, no, angry emo girl at 6 o'clock. Gotta figure this thing out.

"Alright." She began. "I've got this glowy fist thing. That seems like it might be helpful. I just need to figure out a way to get an opportunity to use it before she blasts me again..."

There was a short cough from her brother. "I..." He gulped. "I think I might have an idea. But its risky and stupid."

"Riskier and stupider than getting pounded into the ground?" Luan asked, archly.

"To be fair, she only wants to beat you up. I think she just wants me to...I dunno, be her best friend, or something?"

"...Seriously?" Luan's eyebrows flattened in annoyance.

"N-not that I'd let her hurt you or anything if I could stop it, honest!" He protested, looking ashamed of himself.

"Not that, Lincoln." She rolled her eyes in irritation. "I mean...yes, that. But...you and her?"

"I don't follow." Lincoln replied, looking confused.

"...Never mind." She grumbled. "You're lucky you're cute."

"Thanks. I think. Anyway, here's the plan..."

* * *

Maggie took a shuddering breath, equal parts anticipation and exhaustion, as she finally confronted her prey. The yellow-clad girl has messed her up pretty badly, but she'd managed to turn it around. Now she just needed to finish the job, and she and Lincoln could start their lives together.

"Hullo!" Luan cheerfully greeted her, giving a short wave with one hand. The other, suspiciously, hidden behind her back. "It's Maggie, right?"

Maggie's eyes narrowed. "Yeah..." She replied, guarded. This wasn't how she was expecting things to play out.

"Lincoln talks about you all the time. Won't shut up about that cute girl he met at the park."

"R-really?" Maggie immediately felt her exhaustion disappear, now replaced with a wonderful, fluttery feeling in her chest. She turned her head to the side, slightly, hoping her long hair would obscure her rapidly reddening cheeks. She had to look like a night light at this point. But still! He thought she was cute!

...No, no. Can't get distracted. Focus on the mission. Then happiness with the boyfriend.

"T-then you shouldn't have any problems with handing him over." Maggie growled, hoping she sounded convincing. "Give me Lincoln, and I won't give you the beating you deserve."

"You know..." Luan trailed off, her expression thoughtful. "I'd _love_ to do that. And so would my aching...everything, truth be told." Maggie couldn't help but smirk at that, standing a little straighter. "Buuuuut there's a bit of a problem with that."

"W-what problem?" Maggie asked, gruffly, trying not to seem to eager.

With a small sigh, Luan unzipped the top of her suit, and began to fish around in her prodigious cleavage, humming as she did so. As the seconds dragged on, Maggie found herself growing increasingly irritated.

" _Look—"_ She growled, her patience wearing thin.

"Found him!" Luan announced, producing a thoroughly embarrassed, but otherwise wholly intact Lincoln. The tiny boy gave her a short wave.

"Lincoln!" She squealed, instinctively reaching out towards him, but stopping herself just short of following through with it. She turned to Luan, glaring at the still smiling girl. "So what's the problem? He looks fine."

"Yeah..." Luan nodded in agreement. "I can see why you'd think that. Here's the problem, though. You see..." She trailed off.

Maggie leaned closer. "Yeah?"

"I can't just _hand_ him over to you." Luan said, haltingly. "Because..."

Maggie leaned a little closer. "Because...?" She prompted.

"Because..." Luan stopped herself, taking a deep breath. Maggie was surprised to find that she was hanging on the other girl's every word.

"Because you have to _catch him_!" And with that, Luan threw Lincoln straight up into the air.

* * *

Maggie's mouth swung opened like a rusty hatch. "Lincoln!" She screamed, jerking her head upward, trying to catch a glimpse of his tiny body, obscured even moreso by the night sky. "You!" She turned back to Luan, clenching her fist, but quickly found herself looking upward again. She really wanted to pound this girl into the ground for what she'd done, but...Lincoln! Her attention was split two ways, and she couldn't make up her mind as to which was the more important.

Finally, she jerked her head back towards Luan, only to find that the girl had somehow vanished. Where had she...

"Hey Maggie..." A soft, breathy voice spoke from behind her. "Knock, knock."

Maggie , thoroughly confused, whirled around. "Who'se—"

Just in time to see Luan's fist, shining as brightly as the sun, only millimeters away from her face. She barely had time to register this strange occurance before it crashed into her face, erupting like a supernova .

All she could feel was pain, humiliation, and the strange sensation of gravity seeming strangely absent. Wait...she was descending. Looks like gravity was working after— _WHAM!_

...that would be the ground, then. Hello old friend.

Maggie was barely able to register the sound of gargantuan footsteps approaching, as Luan crouched down next to her.

"That was the punchline." She giggled. "My fist in your face."

"Ugh." Maggie groaned, and then she mercifully lost consciousness.

* * *

"Woo hoo!" Luan pumped her fist in the air, ecstatic at her triumph over the forces of...something or other. All in all, things had worked out pretty well. She was some kind of super hero now, got the powers, and the snazzy outfit, a little brother who was rapidly plummeting through the air at this very moment...

Luan's eyes bugged out as she suddenly remembered the second part of the plan: Save Lincoln! She began scanning the sky, looking for the telltale signs of her little bro. Shouldn't be that difficult, the kid dressed like a traffic cone...

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~"

...and had a very distinct shriek of terror, one that she had become intimately familiar with over the years. Luan focused her attention in the direction of the sound aaand bingo. White hair, orange shirt...and way, way off course. Shoot, she must of flubbed her throw.

Luan immediately dashed off, trying to get a feeling for the falling boy's trajectory, uncaring as to the crunching, snapping, and one very irate shriek that went on below her. She could worry about property damage later.

Thankfully, one of the benefits of being huge was that you could cover a lot of ground very quickly, and she soon found herself more or less directly underneath her brother. Now for the tricky part..

" _Calm down, Luan."_ She told herself. _"It's just like juggling. You put something in the air, now you just have to pull it back out. Easy peasy._ " She gulped. _"Except there's only one thing to catch, that thing is incredibly precious, and you only get one shot at this..._ "

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE~"

Self doubt later, saving time now! Luan locked her eyes on the orange blur. Nearly there...just a little farther, don'tmessthisupdon'tmessthisupdon'tmessthisup aaaaand NOW!

Trusting in her long honed performer's instincts, Luan took a running start and lept up into the air. Time seemed to slow as her momentum carried her towards her falling brother, seconds stretching out into an agonizing eternity...and then she was suddenly within the strike zone. She reached out with both arms, certain she could make the save with at least one of them and...missed?

_WHUMPF!_

...but thankfully, on this particular occasion, Luan was packing a sizeable safety mat. Which...she had totally failed to take into account. Well, if anybody asked, that was totally calculated.

Still airborne, the comedienne wrapped her arms around her chest, tucked her legs in and transitioned into a somersault. One, two, three, and...

_CRASH!_

Stuck the landing! Though, the city was unlikely to be happy with their new sinkhole, it seemed a small price that other people would be paying.

Luan loosened her grip on herself just a bit, and breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that her little brother was cradled protectively against her chest. Granted, his mouth was still wide open, as if screaming silently to himself. But that seemed perfectly normal under the circumstances.

"You okay, Linc?" She asked, nudging him as gently as possible with one enormous index finger.

"Never again." He whispered hoarsely, his voice barely audible.

"Never again." Luan agreed, bending down and planting a full-bodied kiss on her little brother.

* * *

"And then BLAM! Right in the kisser!" Luan crowed as she made her way back towards their family home, Lincoln held protectively in the palms of her hands, the same way one might transport an egg. He had claimed he was ready to ride on her shoulder again, but Luan wasn't having any of it. The kid deserved to be pampered a bit.

"And then she toppled over, right around...here?" Luan trailed off as they arrived at their destination, and found a distinct lack of any giant, comatose girls in the vicinity.

"They kind of just vanish." Lincoln confirmed, shrugging. "We're not really sure why or how."

"Well, shoot." Luan frowned. "I was kind of hoping to rub it in her face a little more. But a win's a win, right?"

"It is." Lincoln nodded, reaching for one of her fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You did great, Luan."

"Aw...shucks." Luan felt her face redden, pleased by Lincoln's encouragement. "I always knew I was meant for _big_ things."

Lincoln let out a small sigh, thankfully never losing that smile of his. She liked that smile. It made her...tingly.

"And now, I think it's time we got you back to normal." He announced, climbing to his feet.

"Aw, you sure about that, Linc?" She asked, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. "I think I like being this big. And I've got a few fun ideas we could try..."

"Our family will be home any minute now." Lincoln retorted, dryly. "It's a wonder they haven't already gotten here."

Luan considered this. "I mean, I don't mind an audience..."

"Luan!"

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Spoilsport. Fine, shrink me down."

" _After all..."_ She thought to herself, a wide grin spreading across her face. " _There's always next time..."_

* * *

Lori Loud literally crashed through the front door of the now dilapidated Loud house and dashed up the stairs, Leni only a few steps behind her. As she reached the top of the stairs, she made a sharp turn towards Luan's room, and skidded to a stop, wincing. That entire end of the hallway was in shambles, her room very likely included. But Lincoln was a smart kid, he wouldn't stay someplace so hazardous. That meant, more likely than not, that if he and Luan were still in the house...

Lori whirled around and headed towards Lincoln's room, Leni following close behind, presumably coming to the same conclusion she had. Heart hammering in her chest, Lori reached the room and, unwilling to wait a moment longer, simply lowered her stance and shoulder checked the door, not slowing down in the slightest.

"Lincoln!" She shrieked, bursting through the door in an explosion of splinters. And found...

Her brother. Pinned to his bed by Luan, the older girl straddling the pale haired boy. Both of them fully clothed, thankfully.

"The polite thing to do is _knock_!" Luan growled, glaring irately at her older sisters.

"Are we really going to talk about politeness when we found you violating our little brother?" Lori retorted, teeth clenched with barely contained fury.

"Yeah!" Leni pipped up from behind her. "That's totes rude, Luan. You're supposed to share Linky!"

It took a considerable amount of effort for Lori to refrain from falling over. Well, there went the moral high ground...

Luan giggled as she climbed off Lincoln, helping the younger boy to sit up. "Sorry, Leni, you'll have to explain the rules to me."

Luan pulled Lincoln close to her, who then patted the empty space on the bed next to him. Lori found herself hurrying over to the pair a bit more eagerly than she'd intended to, and before long the boy quickly found himself protectively encircled by his three sisters, each of them discretely jockeying for possession of him.

"Good to see you're back to normal." Lori said, addressing Luan. She looked the girl up and down. "Well, more or less, anyway."

"Yup." Luan replied, cupping her new CC cup breasts. "They're not as big as before, but these are a lot more manageable."

 _It was the best I could do, given the circumstances._ Seven spoke up. _Lincoln's botched transfer was worse than I thought. It's a wonder I was able to restore Ms. Luan's dimensions even to this degree._

"And you did a great job, Seven." Luan patted Lincoln's wristband affectionately. Then she grabbed Lincoln and pulled him against her chest. "I know Lincoln certainly thinks so." She added, teasingly.

Lori's eyes narrowed. "Mom and dad freaked out when they saw how messed up the neighborhood was, they're outside talking to the police right now." She began to slide her hand towards Luan and their rapidly suffocating brother. "The official story is that there was a gas pipe ruptured and exploded, or something. But the cops have been getting stories about a couple of giant girls brawling in the streets." Satisfied with her positioning, she reached out and grabbed Luan's arm, intent on tearing it off Lincoln and rescuing the poor boy. But, much to her surprise, she found herself incapable of moving the younger girl.

Lori sighed in annoyance. "So...you too, huh?"

"That's right. Blue" Luan said with a knowing smile. She released Lincoln, who was immediately snached up by Leni and pulled to the far side of the bed, and flexed her free arm experimentally. "Thinking I might try working some strong-woman stuff into my clowning routine."

"Fantastic." Lori had meant to say it sarcastically, but it came out surprisingly genuine, and she found herself sharing a smile with her younger sister.

"Well, you guys can tell us all about it later." She said at last, gesturing for everyone to get up. "The city's going to be footing the bill for all the property damage, but we're going to have to spend the night in a motel."

"Ooooh." Luan and Leni cooed in unison.

"And nobody shares a bed with Lincoln."

"Dangit." Grumbled the same girls in chorus.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit goes to Zeobide for the fun parts of this chapter.

Lori Loud allowed herself a moment to take in the sights and sounds of her recently restored family home. The last week had been a...trying experience, to say the least. Thirteen Louds had suddenly found themselves without a home in the wake of that whole Luan debacle, which had apparently been followed up by a kidnapping attempt by that weird girl from the park. She was glad that Luan had risen to the occasion, in more ways than one, and protected their little brother from whatever vile machinations were to come from his abduction. But...she really wished that Luan had found a less destructive way to go about it.

Mom and Dad had been able to spring for three motel rooms. In the wake of losing nearly all of their worldly possessions, that was the best they could manage on such short notice. The kids understood, naturally, and tried their best to acclimate to their new lodgings, but it had been difficult. They'd settled on as even a split as they could manage, the four eldest girls in one room, Lynn, Lucy, the twins and Lisa occupying the second, and Lincoln and Lilly lodging with their parents. Lori had reluctantly approved, as the last thing Leni or Luan needed at the time was the...distraction, of Lincoln lodging with them, or any place easily accessible by them in the dead of night. The eldest Loud sibling couldn't blame them, she, Leni, and Lincoln had fallen into a routine of sorts, growing so comfortable with each other's company as to suggest a degree of mutual dependence was forming. That's certainly how it felt, anyway. Cuddling with Leni at night was mollifying, but it didn't make the glaring, empty space between them, where their little brother so often found himself as of late, any less heart wrenching for the girls. But it was for the good of all of them, she reasoned, no need for the rest of the family to see their...sibling bonding time, it would only raise unnecessary questions.

To that end, she had taken it upon herself to strictly manage the young boy's time, sequestering him with the youngest girls as frequently as possible. It wasn't easy, Leni and Luan were seemingly a lot less concerned with the long term ramifications of their strange relationship than she was, and it took everything she had to keep them in check, lest they do something unseemly. Lynn had similarly become strangely attached to their brother. It was probably nothing, she and Lincoln had always been close knit due to how close in age they were, but never to this extent. Something about the way Lynn kept trying to manuver he way into unsanctioned alone time with their brother had put Lori on edge, so she had begun to treat the athlete the same way she treated her other lovesick sisters, hoping she was simply reading too deeply into things.

Luna had been another surprise, though in a different way. Despite her aspirations of rock stardom, Luna had always been among the most down to earth and responsible of their siblings. Plus, she had a girlfriend, so clearly there was no danger of her suddenly developing forbidden feelings the pale haired boy. Lori had hoped she could rely on Luna to help her keep the rowdier sisters in check, but the first time she had approached the rocker about taking Lincoln away from the motel , to give the boy a much needed break from his lovesick sister-girlfriends, the younger girl had blanched, turned a variety of interesting colors, then excused herself. It wasn't until later that night that she'd found out from Mom that Luna had made last minute arrangements to stay with Sam's family for the duration of their exodus. Lori had been annoyed, knowing that Luna's unexpected absence was going to make her job that much harder, but she'd been able to salvage the situation by moving Lynn into the older girls' room, thus allowing her to keep an eye on all three troublemakers at once.

Thankfully, it was only a week or so before the Louds were able to move back home. Lori had been equal parts surprised and suspicious when they'd gotten the news, as their home had been one of many that had been destroyed in the wake of the "gas leak". The cover story had been similarly suspicious, there were many witnesses that day who had attested to seeing the two titanic teenage girls battling it out that day. While the particulars of their conflict were, of course, not public knowledge, their existence of the gigants and the strange, black clad women they kept fighting absolutely were, given the abundance of news coverage and amateur videos that their fights attracted. However, on the day they moved back in, Lori had caught sight of Lisa sharing a discrete fist bump with a couple of immaculately dressed men in black suits and sunglasses, and she suspected this had something to do with both of these issues.

Regardless, she'd could worry about shadowy government coverups another day. Today was the first full day that the Louds had been able to spend in their newly refurbished home. Which meant, that everyone was enjoying the privacy afforded by their restored bedrooms. Which meant that she would finally have the discretion to enjoy some much needed Lincoln time for herself.

After freshening up a little, so as to ensure she looked her best for her boyfriend, Lori happily skipped down the hallway towards her little brother's room, not even bothering to hide her presence, due to how devoid the hallway was of life. Upon arriving at her destination, she grasped hold of Lincoln's door without thinking, and turned the knob— _CRUNCH._ Lori winced, her momentum momentarily lost. Well...there was yet another problem they were going to have to get Lana to fix. However, she quickly put those thoughts out of mind, and chose to focus on the present. Her brief lapse with responsibility thus justified, she _gently_ shoved the door open.

Lori had been expecting to find Lincoln already occupied with Leni. Or Luan, or perhaps both. And she had made peace with those possibilities, though she vastly preferred the former. She wasn't expecting the door to swing open to reveal a room that was largely occupied by Leni. The operative term here was both very literal and very appropriate. Her younger sister, though mercifully not at her full, house-destroying gigant size, was sufficiently embiggened that she occupied nearly all the available space in the relatively small room. The way she had been crammed into the tiny space, with her head forced to the side by the too low ceiling, and her knees scrunched up against her enormous, gently swaying breasts, brought to mind a similar scene from Alice in Wonderland. Unlike Alice, however, the fashionista was very, very naked. It was very much a sight to behold, and Lori couldn't help but feel her face redden as she took in the majesty of her sister's fully exposed body.

"HI LORI!" Leni boomed cheerfully, waving to the smaller girl as best she could, given her confinement.

* * *

"Lori!" Lola's shrill voice rang out from the hallway, returning Lori to her senses. "I don't know what you guys are doing, but tell Leni to keep it down! I'm _trying_ to get my beauty rest!"

Wincing, Lori slipped inside the room, closed the door behind her, and did her best to level an annoyed glare at her younger sister. Leni, for her part, had the good sense to look abashed at the brief bit of fallout that had resulted from her faux pas.

"Where's Lincoln?" Lori asked, trying to focus on something other than Leni's very distracting nakedness. "He clearly had something to do with this."

"Up here!" Lori craned her head upward and saw a small, familiar looking hand sticking out from between Leni's breasts. A moment later, Lincoln's head popped up, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face. It was slightly surprising that the boy still managed to be embarrassed by this kind of thing, considering that it happened to him _literally_ all the time.

"I can explain." Lincoln called out, nervously scratching the back of his head. "Um...should I come down, or do you want to come up?"

Lori opened her mouth to reply, but instead let out a short squawk of surprise as Leni's large hand swept down, gently picked her up as if she weighed nothing, and deposited her atop her magnificent mounds, right alongside Lincoln.

"I...guess I'm coming." Lori murmured, mildly dazed from the abruptness of the trip. "...Up." She quickly clarified, glancing upward at her big, smiling sister.

* * *

"So what's with the giant Leni?" Lori asked once she'd made herself comfortable. Lori had taken the lead on both occasions where fighting had been needed since she'd become a gigant, so being the tiny one was a strange and unfamiliar sensation for her. Not at all unpleasant, though. Leni's skin was soft to the touch, and this size her assets afforded a passenger ample space to stretch out. Lori would liken the experience to being on a water bed. Only it smelled nice, and her idle, wandering fingers occasionally the flesh beneath her to tremble in a very pleasing manner. One could certainly get used to these accommodations...

_Lincoln requested I attempt to instruct him in the proper usage of his new abilities._

"I was hoping I could learn to control this thing." Lincoln added, trying to pull himself from his fleshy prison. "You know, try to avoid a repeat of what happened with Luan." but only managing to sink himself in deeper, in a manner strangely reminiscent of quicksand (titsand?). Lori allowed this to go on for a bit before reaching over and yanking Lincoln free ("Aw." Leni murmured, displeased.)

"So you decided to make Leni your guinea pig?" Lori asked, wrapping one arm around Lincoln, both for safety and snuggling purposes.

"I didn't _make_ her." Lincoln protested, frowning. "She volunteered."

"I LIKE KISSING LINKY." Affirmed Leni, doing her best to whisper.

"Fair enough." Lori shrugged, knowing that for Leni, it would have been as simple as that. "I just don't get why she's so small, relatively speaking." Lori let out a short cough. "And naked."

 _The transformation process is normally a binary one._ Said Seven. A _properly conducted energy transfer results in the subject growing to a specific size, and a reversal of the process returns them to their original size, with nothing in between. In light of what happened with Luan, Lincoln posited that it might be possible to perform a partial transference, resulting in a variable size change._

"And it worked." Lincoln shrugged. "Kind of. Turns out the gigant costume only comes out when you go all the way. Anything less, and your clothes just kinda explode." He laughed nervously, glancing up at the giantess. "Sorry Leni."

"ITS OKAY, LINKY." She extended one finger and gently brushed the tiny boy's head affectionately. "YOU DIDN'T KNOW."

Lori was unsure how to feel about this development. On the one hand, Lincoln's hunch seemed to have paid off, as the partially embiggened Leni clearly demonstrated. The possibilities for partial gigantification were definitely intruiging, both in terms of its combat applications, and...she absentmindedly licked her lips. Other...things, to be certain. She just wished her siblings would think these things through better—

"Lori!" Their mom's authoritative voice rang out, audible even though it was clearly originating from downstairs. "Come down! I need your help with something!"

Lori winced. Yeah, definitely a bad idea to practice this sort of thing in a house full of Louds.

"Alright guys." She said, sitting back up. "Fun time's over. Lincoln, change Leni back and get her some clothes."

"AWW."

Standing up, briefly struggling with maintaining her balance on the fleshy surface, she gave Lincoln a quick kiss on the lips, jogged the short distance needed to plant a similar kiss on Leni's enlarged lips, then leapt off her younger sister and gracefully landed on the floor.

"No funny stuff, Lincoln!" She ordered, as she made to take her leave. "Change her back right now!"

Both siblings nodded dutifully, and against her better judgment, Lori decided to leave it at that.

 _"It's fine._ " She reasoned to herself as she headed back out into the hallway. _"Leni can't even leave the room like that. They'll be fine."_

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Leni." Lincoln said, abruptly turning away from his now normal sized, but still very naked sister, so as to give her some privacy. "I think I'm getting the hang of this."

Leni let out a soft giggle and swept Lincoln up off the ground and into her arms, pulling him tightly against her. "Any time, Linky." She murmured, pulling the boy into a kiss, which he eagerly returned. This was pretty normal for them, her nudity notwithstanding. She and Lincoln loved each other very much, and these displays of affection had become commonplace between them. Normally she'd leave it at kissing, maybe drag him onto the nearest flat surface and let things progress a little further. Lincoln was shy, necessitating that Leni initiate things between them, but once they got started he'd respond with gusto.

She should have left it at that. Taken her short bit of pleasure with her little brother, then let him go off and get her some clothes, like Lori had instructed. And then maybe they could go back to their usual routine of cuddling, followed by increasingly heavy petting, and then more cuddling. But today was...different. She couldn't quite put her finger on why, exactly, but today it didn't quite feel like their usual routine would be enough.

"Leni?" Lincoln managed to ask when he was allowed to come up for air during a brief moment of respite. But he didn't receive an answer. Not verbally, anyway.

* * *

Leni grabbed Lincoln's shoulders, pulling him into a deep kiss that served to take his breath away. He could feel her tongue pushing into his mouth and for once he didn't fight it. He gave into the feeling that his body was telling him to give into. And as he did, he reached up and placed his hands on her sides, his palms touching the edges of her soft breasts.

When they pulled apart, both their faces were flustered and they shared a look that didn't need words. They knew, even on a subconscious level, that eventually their bond would lead to this. Lincoln knew that this wasn't normal but he didn't care. He loved his sister very much and he knew that Leni also loved him just as much. And after working her up this much, Lincoln didn't have the heart nor the will to deny her. If she wanted to do this then he would happily give in because he loved her.  
Leni reached down and began to pull her little brother's shirt off, biting her lower lip in anticipation for what was about to come. Leni wasn't as empty headed as most people thought she was. She knew that when a boy and girl loved each other very much that their bodies would feel all funny and that then they would do the mommy and daddy dance. And Leni had only ever felt that way for one boy and he was standing in front of her. She felt really hot, especially down in her girl place. Whenever she shared a kiss with her brother she would often feel a tingly feeling down there. And sometimes it would get wet and slippery and it would feel good when she touched it. And now she wanted her Linky to touch her.

Lincoln finished removing his shirt and then started to work on his pants. He was nervous, understandably so, and he was fumbling to undo his belt. With trembling hands he kept trying to take them off but kept on failing. Until Leni reached out and placed her hands on his.

"Here, let me do it..." She said softly. She undid his belt and then his pants. She then pulled down and began to reveal his white undies. Already there was a noticeable bulge hidden behind that white cloth and Leni couldn't help but lick her lips. She knew that boys liked it when you licked their dinkies and Leni wondered if Linky would like it too?  
"Leni..." Lincoln watched as his sister gripped the edge of his underwear and began to pull it down as well. He bit his lower lip as he felt his nerves go on edge. He was worried that she would see his penis and think that it was too small or maybe that it looked weird and she would laugh. But he also knew that Leni would never do that and that it was only his own insecurities that were creeping up.

Leni watched as the waistband of her brother's underwear slowly swept over his special area, revealing a patch of white hair on his private area. She had always wondered if all of his hair had been white. And as she pulled the rest of the way down, she gasped as his dinky sprang up towards her face after it had been pulled down. It stood up straight almost like a banana did only it wasn't as curvy. She watched it for a moment and she saw as it seemed to twitch on its own almost as if it were alive.  
"Leni..." Lincoln called out to her as he stepped out of his pants and underwear. When she turned to look up at him, he reached down and cupped her cheek. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Leni leaned into his touch and a warm smile spread across her face. Even now, her Linky was still as caring and loving as the day they first got together. Her heart swelled with joy and she told him what her heart knew all along. "I'm sure, Linky."  
She then reached up and gingerly took a hold of his thingy. It felt hot in her hand and as she gripped it, Linky let out a breathy moan that sounded like he liked it. It was about 5 to 6 inches if Leni had to guess and to her it looked perfect. She leaned in and gave his tip a small peck. From the way that Lincoln was reacting it meant that Leni was doing a good job and she wanted to keep doing it.

She began to move her hand up and down his thingy while at the same time she took the tip of his dinky in her mouth, using her tongue to lick it clean. The first thing that she noticed was that his thingy tasted a little salty but also it tasted good to her. Maybe it was because she was tasting him that she thought it tasted good but Leni honestly couldn't get enough of it. She soon began to take more and more of his thingy into her mouth, using it to suck on it and slurp up the mixture of her saliva and his love juice.  
"L-Leni...I...I..." During Leni's impromptu blowjob, Lincoln had grabbed a hold of her head and he had shut his eyes. Her mouth felt so warm and moist and her tongue, oh, her tongue was amazing! He could feel her tongue as it swirled around his member and wrapped itself around his head. And almost as soon as it started, Lincoln was nearing his limit as he felt something build up that only happened when he touched himself at night.

Sensing that her brother was tensing up, Leni began to double her efforts in order to make him shoot his love juice all over her. Her brother's cute moans were also making her feel hot and and bothered as she continued to suck on his dinky, Leni had reached down to her girl place and had begun to rub her special place with her hand.

After a few more moments, Leni felt her brother swell up inside of her before she felt a hot, thick, salty syrupy liquid fill her mouth. It came out so suddenly that she was forced to pull away as she coughed up what got caught in her throat. At the same time she felt as several blotches of hot stuff were shot all over her front. Some of it landed on her face, her chest, and her hair. And when Leni looked down at herself, she saw that the stuff that covered her looked like some kind of gooey cream.

"What is this?" Leni asked as she scooped some of it off of her lap with her finger. She had tasted a bit of it before but she had been distracted by her coughing. Leni placed her finger in her mouth and tasted the hot goop that came out of her little brother. It definitely tasted salty and it reminded Leni a little about that one energy drink that Lynn liked to drink that tasted like soy beans and other healthy stuff. But Leni loved it because it was her brother's flavor.

"Leni...that was amazing." Lincoln said as he looked down at his sister. When he finally laid eyes on her again, he was surprised that Leni had scooped up all of his semen and had licked it clean from her hands. "Did...did you swallow it all?"

"Yup! It was totes tasty!" Leni said happily. She even closed her eyes and opened her mouth wide so that he could see that she had indeed swallowed it all.  
And that one act had served to hard his soft member. Lincoln might only be eleven, and on the cusp of puberty but seeing his sister kneeling before him, completely nude, and showing him that she had swallowed everything he'd given her was one of the hottest things he had ever seen.

When Leni opened her eyes again, she was surprised to see that his thingy was hard again. "Yay, it totes wants to play again!"

"Leni, could you please lie down on the bed?" Lincoln asked as he helped her up.

"Of course, Linky." Leni happily obliged.

Once she was lying down, Lincoln made his way over to his sister's sex and slowly lowered himself. Leni watched with bated breath as her little brother began to get close to her girl place. She could feel his hot breath on her lower lips and soon it began to send chills up and down her spine, making her bite her lower lip.  
Lincoln took a deep breath of his sister's aroma, her musk having a strong but surprisingly sweet smell. Maybe it was because it was Leni but he doubted anything of her could ever smell bed or taste bad for that matter. And speaking of...

Lincoln ran his tongue across Leni's glistening lips and he was surprised by the heat that her nether regions were producing. He could feel it burning his face as he got close but actually licking her down there was similar to sticking your face in an open oven. But he didn't mind as he continued to run his tongue over her lips, lapping up her juices. He could feel Leni squirm as he continued his work and each time that he heard her moan his name, Lincoln felt encouraged to go faster.

Soon he began to pull apart her lower lips with his fingers in order to bury his face deeper into her sex. He could feel her walls wanting to clamp down on his tongue as he dove in. And within minutes, Leni had reached her limit. He heard his sister call out his name as she arched her back and pressed her thighs against his head. And as her girl juices were sprayed across his face, Lincoln continued to lap it all up. It was an acquired taste to be sure but Lincoln found that he rather liked the taste of his sister.  
And as Leni recovered from her orgasm, Lincoln wiped his mouth with his arm before he began to position himself above his sister. He spread over her legs and began to rub his tip to her boiling sex. He could feel her lips tremble in anticipation for that they knew instinctively what was about to happen next. Lincoln turned to look up at his sister and he saw that she was looking up at him with a half lidded expression and lustful smile.  
She reached out towards him as she called to him. "Linky...hold me..."

Lincoln leaned down and wrapped his arms around his sister, his face nestling in her generous bosom. He looked up into her beautiful blue eyes that were so full of love and joy, they were shimmering like blue diamonds. Lincoln slowly began to push inside of her, his member parting her lips for the first time. He could feel Leni begin to tense up so he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Leni...it's alright..." He whispered to her. When she looked up into his eyes, she saw he was smiling warmly at her. "Just focus on me...I'm right here..."

"Oh Linky..." Leni captured his lips and as they continued to make out, she could feel her brother's thingy entering her girl place. And once it reached her deepest part, she instinctively knew that what was to come would hurt. She braced herself and focused on the feeling of her brother's warm lips. She focused on how gentle he was when he kissed her and how greedy he seemed to be as he tried to almost devour her with each kiss. It seemed that doing this with him had made him be a little more possessive of her and she loved the feeling of him wanting to make her his.

With a final thrust, Leni's final barrier had been broken and she softly whimpered into his mouth.

* * *

Lincoln stopped for a moment in order to nuzzle her cheek with his. He waited for her to feel comfortable before he continued to move. He recaptured her lips and slowly moved inside of her. He wanted her first time to be special and the only way that would be is if he made sure that she enjoyed it more than he did. And since to him this felt incredible he had to go beyond that.

Within minutes her quiet moans began to rise in volume. Lincoln moved from her lips to her neck and began leave a trail of kisses as he made his way down towards her breasts. He couldn't help lick up her sweat along the way and he found that he enjoyed her taste. He licked between the valley of her cleavage and he savored her taste. It was surprisingly addicting to him and he soon found himself licking her all over in order to lap up every last drop. This left her boobs covered in his saliva and it only seemed to drive her closer to the edge as the coolness from his saliva was a sharp contrast to the heat that was radiating from their bodies.

"Ah...Linky...I...I..." Leni could barely get a word out as she was lost in a world that she didn't know could exist. Her little brother was pushing his thingy in her girl place and they were making noises that sounded almost like clapping. Not to mention the noises that were coming out of her mouth. It felt soooo good! "Linky...Ah...I...I...feel..."  
"Me...too!" Lincoln could feel himself nearing his limit. And then, in the tiny portion of his brain the wasn't currently overcome with pleasure. He began to feel something else. A familiar sensation, like electricity pulsating through his body.

"Uh...L-Leni?" He began...but was quickly cut off as Leni grabbed his face and pressed her lips against his, heedless of the encroaching danger...

* * *

Leni could feel her brother tense up and then his thingy swelled up inside of her as he buried it in her deepest part. Something hot quickly flooded her girl place and it began to overflow and spill out. At the same time she felt herself tense up as electricity shot out throughout her body. She could feel her special area clamp down tightly on her little brother's thingy and for a brief moment all she could see was white. It was like an explosion of love went off inside of her and Leni had never felt happier. When she could see again, the white that she was seeing was his hair as he rested his head on her bosom. Then, she could feel a new sensation. A familiar tingling that began to radiate throughout her exhausted body, slowly building in strength...

* * *

Lori grumbled as she made her way back towards Lincoln's room. Moving was a chore under the best of situations. One would _think_ that having super strength would trivialize such things, or at least greatly expedite the process. But under her mom's watchful gaze, Lori not only had to do things as slowly and deliberately as possible, she also had to be extra careful to avoid breaking anything. All in all, it had been a very frustrating experience. But everything was going to be fine now. She had fulfilled her obligations, for the moment, and now she could go back to spending quality time to her favorite people. Lori visibly perked up at this thought, and upon reaching Lincoln's bedroom, yanked the door open with barely contained glee, happy to be rejoining her siblings.

Several things hit her at once. The smell, for one thing. Lincoln's room, normal tinged with the typical scent of boy funk, now _reeked_ of something else entirely. Heat, and sweat, and...something else. The second, was that Leni was still huge, despite her explicit instructions to the contrary. And third, that Leni was considerably more sweaty than she had been previously. Her eyes glazed over with bliss. A very specific _kind_ of bliss...

"What...did I _just_ _say_?!" Lori roared, as her brain finished connecting the dots.

"I told you to keep it down, Lori!" Lola shrieked from farther up the hallway. "And open a window! It stinks in here!"

"WHOOPSIE" Leni murmured, giggling softly to herself. She shifted within the confined space, discretely trying to cover up Lincoln's exhausted, sleeping body, currently nestled between her breasts. Lori would find him eventually, but for now her Linky deserved to rest.


	17. Chapter 17

Lynn Loud hummed to herself as she took stock of her backpack one final time. Sweatbands: check. Assorted sports balls: check. Sports bars and water bottles: check. Self defense weapons: Lynn clenched her fists and flexed her arms, allowing herself a satisfied smirk as her toned, but normally slender arms briefly rippled with sudden musculature. Check, and double check, she chuckled to herself, as she turned her attention back to her bag. And the pièce de résistance: an extra pair of running shoes, size dopey little brother. Check.

"I sense doom in your future."

Lynn frowned as she looked up from her task. On the other side of the room sat Lucy, who in spite of her sinister prediction, remained engrossed in the latest entry of that dumb vampire romance series she loved so much ( _Red Like Blood_? Great name, that. Must have spent a whole minute coming up with that one.)

"Your crystal ball tell you that?" Lynn asked irritably, trying to rearrange her supplies so they would fit within the confines of the bag without unnecessary squishing.

"Nope." The younger girl replied, turning the page of her book with a very slow and deliberate flick of her finger. "That's just pattern recognition."

"I don't know what you're talking ab—"

"You tried to get Lincoln to go swimming with you at the motel. Luan got you with the old 'look behind you' trick, and escaped via unicycle with Lincoln in tow while you were distracted." Lucy recited, still not looking up from her book."

"It was _Luan_!" Lynn shouted, pounding on fist on her backpack in frustration. "It's more surprising that there _wasn't_ something there!"

"You threw away every box of Lincoln's favorite cereal in the breakfast bar just so you could surprise him with the one remaining box you'd set aside, and try to get him to share it with you." Lucy continued, undeterred. "Which Leni ruined by taking everyone's cereals and making surprisingly delicious breakfast smoothies."

"Oh come on. How could I have possibly predicted that one?" Lynn protested. "The breakfast bar didn't even _have_ a blender!" She took a deep breath to steady herself. "Besides, we're back home now. That means I should have the home field advantage."

"We _all_ live here."

"I think Luna might live at Sam's now." Lynn paused thoughtfully. "Even so, now I know the terrain. I can cover all the angles, account for all possibilities. Because I'm Lynn Loud, and I never lose!" Lynn punctuated her words with a proud and hearty thumping of her own chest.

"Oh?" Now Lucy deigned to turn her full attention towards Lynn, the barest hint of a smile on her pallid lips. "Tell me, how is your arm feeling?"

* * *

"Alright!" Lynn roared as she burst through Lincoln's bedroom door. "Grab your stuff, Linc! Because you, and me are...

Lynn trailed off, trying to figure out what it was she had walked into. It appeared that Luan had strapped Lincoln to herself with bungie chords, his face shoved between her stupid new boobs ("Puberty is a harsh mistress" Lucy would lament despondently), and was trying to escape out the window. From the looks of things, Lori had literally caught her in the act, and was trying to drag Luan back into the house by her ankles, while Lincoln clung to the partially suspended comedienne for dear life. Leni was sitting off to the side on Lincoln's bed, whistling to herself and knitting a bright orange scarf.

" _What_?!" Two female voices grunted in irritation, turning their attentions to the athlete.

"Hi Lynn." Leni greeted, looking up from her work to give the younger girl a small, but enthusiastic wave, which Lynn found herself absentmindedly returning.

"I, uh..." Lynn fumbled, trying to regain her momentum. "I-I'm here for Lincoln!" She desperately wracked her brain, trying to remember the fiery speech she'd written for the occasion.

"Gimme!" She shouted at last, stamping her foot in annoyance, hoping her display of anger would make up for her lack of elegance or speech craft.

"No!" Lori growled, hauling Lincoln and Luan back into the room with one, last, mighty heave. The act dislodged the pair, Luan sailing over Lynn's head with a cry of surprise, out the opened door and into parts unknown, though a muffled crash in the distance suggested that the clown-shaped missile had eventually found itself at rest. Lincoln flew upwards in a lazy arc, but before either Lynn or Lori could move to rescue him, he was deftly snatched out of the air by Leni, who tucked the young boy under her arm and returned to her knitting.

"Well played, Leni." Lori remarked, before turning back towards the athlete. "Buzz off, Lynn, Lincoln's busy." A muffled cry came from the boy in question, currently being cuddled to death by Leni, but Lynn was unable to ascertain if he was affirming or denying Lori's claim.

"I'm not leaving without a fight!" Lynn proclaimed, shooting a worried glance at her younger brother, still writhing in Leni's grip.

"Oh?" Lori crossed the room and leaned over, looking the shorter girl right in the face. "And just what did you have in mind?"

"Arm wrestling." Lynn flexed one arm for emphasis. "Winner takes Lincoln!" This caused Leni to finally look up from her project.

"Um, Lori? Maybe you should—"

"Done." Lori immediately agreed, smirking and cracking her knuckles. Lynn wasn't certain where this confidence came from, but she knew for a fact that the older girl had made a grave mistake in agreeing to tangle with Lynn Loud...

* * *

"That match couldn't have been more one-sided if you were a vampire and Lori was the sun." Lucy interjected, with an uncharacteristic amount of decidedly non-gothic glee in her tone.

Lynn clamped her mouth shut, directing a withering glare at the younger girl in lieu of a response. As much as it burned Lynn up inside to admit it, Lucy was right. Lori had _destroyed_ her, and for the life of her, Lynn couldn't figure out how she'd done it.

Credit where credit's due, the Louds were a pretty rowdy bunch and Lori managed to rank among the toughest of them. However, this was largely due to her age, her size, and the sheer amount of ruthlessness the eldest Loud sibling could display when she was sufficiently motivated. Lori Loud was a scrapper, and Lynn had no problem with admitting that in a competition where Lori was able to put those qualities to use, like fighting over the tv remote or the last slice of pizza, Lynn could (and often did) lose out to the older girl. But outside of, perhaps, a thumb wrestling contest (all that time Lori spent on her phone had to be good for something), it was inconceivable that a soft, girly girl like Lori Loud would be able to straight up out-muscle a finely honed athlete like herself.

_"Come on, Lynn." Lori jeered, cackling as she effortlessly slammed Lynn's hand onto the tabletop for the eighth time in a row. "Again! You almost had me that time!"_

"I...I wasn't feeling well that day." Lynn mumbled, absentmindedly massaging the arm that had failed her.

"I'll bet. Getting beaten like one of Luna's drums would make anyone feel bad."

"S-shut up!" Lynn shouted, feeling herself flush red, equal parts embarrassed and infuriated. She'd intended to say more, but, in a truly heroic display of willpower, refrained from doing so. Instead, Lynn took one, deep, shuddering breath, then slowly let it out. She repeated the process several times, each time feeling her rage ebb a little more than the last.

"Wow." Lucy said, several cycles later. "That was an impressive amount of restraint. For you, at least."

"I've been practicing." Lynn hissed once she felt she had regained sufficient control of herself. She straightened up, her mind once again clear, and looked her little sister in the eye (or at least the closest approximation she could manage, stupid goth bangs). "The point is, this is a fight that needs to be fought. Those girls have been hogging Lincoln all to themselves, and I'm sick of it! As Lincoln's favorite sister—"

"I'm pretty sure Leni's Lincoln's favorite right now." Lucy muttered.

"—I am entitled to my share of Lincoln time!" Lynn carried on, choosing to ignore the younger girl's strangely ominous words. "And I intend to get what's mine!"

"Believe me, Lynn, we _all_ want our Lincoln time." Lucy sighed, turning her attention back to her book. "But you're clearly fighting a losing battle here. There's too many of them." The diminutive goth glanced down at herself, a small frown making its way onto her face. "And too much of them."

"Says you." Lynn scoffed, shouldering her bag and making her way towards the door. "Lynn Loud doesn't give up, Lynn Loud plays to win!"

"Does Lynn Loud know what a pronoun is?" Lucy called after Lynn as she exited into the hallway.

"Lynn Loud can't hear you!"

* * *

"Lincoln!" Lynn shouted, bursting through her brother's door with a dynamic, and stylish, flying dragon kick. The boy's doorknob, as it so often was these days, had been crushed into a twisted, misshapen lump of metal, rendering the door effectively jammed shut. But Lynn was nothing if not a problem solver. "Emergency! I need...you...to..."

Lynn trailed off, blinking stupidly. Much to her surprise, Lincoln's room, which so frequently looked like a warzone these days thanks to the antics of their older sisters, was completely bereft of such foreign influences. It's sole occupant being the boy himself, sitting astride his bed and carefully tending to a stack of comic books.

"Hey Lynn." He greeted her. "What's going on?"

"Uh...nothing." Lynn replied, glancing around warily. "Where's all the..." She gestured vaguely. "Everything."

Lincoln shrugged and turned his attention back to his comics. "Leni and Lori are out shopping, and Luan was booked to perform at a birthday party..."

* * *

The crowd looked on in awe, parents and children alike equally speechless as the buxom clown girl effortlessly juggled a set of barbells as easily as if they were a set of run of the mill juggling clubs. She let out one, final, dramatic flourish, launching the entire set up into the air, did a graceful pirouette, and then bowed for her audience, not even bothering to look as the barbells fell one by one into a neat pile beside her. The crowd erupted into applause at this display of skill, only pausing to wince in unison as each barbell landed onto the pile with a loud _thunk_ noise, subsequent impacts causing the stack to sink deeper and deeper into the soft earth below.

"Thank you!" Luan shouted, straightening up with a big smile on her face. "And now for my next trick. Giggles! Release the bear!"

* * *

"...where I'm sure she's acting like a consummate professional." Lincoln concluded

"W-why did you do that?" Lynn asked.

"Do what?" Lincoln selected a volume from the stack and began carefully examining the spine.

"Trail off like that!" Lynn demanded. "And then pause! Like you were waiting for something!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lynn." Lincoln said, calmly putting the book back on the pile before turning his attention back to her. "Now, what can I do for you?"

Lynn wanted to press the issue, to get some clarity on that particular bit of strangeness. But her eyes met with Lincoln's, and suddenly that didn't seem to matter anymore. There was something so calming about that gaze of his. it was warm and inviting, promising everything, and asking nothing. Standing there, alone with Lincoln, her the sole focus of his attention for the first time in what seemed like forever, it suddenly became difficult to care about anything else. Then, a single ray of sunshine pierced the window, illuminating the boy with an almost angelic glow.

"Run away with me." Lynn murmured, dumbfounded.

"What?" Lincoln's head tilted to the side, perplexed.

"I mean go running!" Lynn shouted, correcting herself. "With me!" She gestured at her sneakers, hoping to illustrate her point without any further faux pas. "Please?"

"Sure." Lincoln replied immediately, hopping off his bed and striding over to her.

"Really?" Lynn was taken aback by this uncharacteristic display of...well, not exactly enthusiasm, but acceptance, at least, from her little brother. Normally she'd have to browbeat the boy a little to get him to spend time with her, or break out the puppy eyes in more extreme situations.

"Of course." Said Lincoln as he begun stretching, just like Lynn had shown him. "Feels like its been forever since we've hung out. I think I could put up with a little running if need be." Stretching completed, he straightened up and extended his hand towards Lynn, smiling warmly. "Shall we?"

If Lynn was being perfectly honest with herself, there was a part of her that was afraid of that hand. Of the way her palms got clammy when she thought about taking it in her own, allowing her body heat to mingle with her brother's. Of the way her heartrocket began skyrating when he looked at her, just like that. Like she was the only person in the world. It was both exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.

Thankfully, the rest of her wasn't paying attention to that part, as the second she'd began to contemplate the implications of this outing, her instincts had taken over, and she'd snatched the proffered appendage and raced out of the room at top speed. Not long after, a red and brown blur exploded out of the Loud House and took off down the street, dragging a screaming white streak behind it.

* * *

Sam Sharp steeled her nerves, trying to psyche herself up for the ordeal that was ahead of her. An unusual reaction to have when one was about to enter their own bedroom, admittedly, but this was a fairly unusual situation to begin with. And one that, to her mind, could only be solved with a fairly unusual answer. Thus prepared, she took a deep breath, and breached the portal to her inner sanctum.

"'ello, luv."

The friendly, loving smile Sam had affected before entering the room stiffened somewhat. There was Luna, her wonderful, talented, beautiful girlfriend. Sprawled out on Sam's bed, waiting for her. _Again_. She added "making those words sound irritating" to her mental tally of grievances, before sliding the door shut behind her, and taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Saw your guitar needed restringing." Said Luna as she went about her task. "Thought I'd help you out."

Sam nodded in acknowledgement. Her acoustic guitar did need restringing. The strings had broken because Luna had taken it upon herself to tune the instrument for her. For the forty-seventh time. Before that, she had busied herself with maintaining Sam's drum kit, with similar results. Though, admittedly, these chores were far preferable to when Luna had taken it upon herself to take care of Sam's goldfish. Least of all because Sam hadn't actually owned a goldfish at the time.

She absentmindedly waved towards Reel Smol Fish, her other impromptu roommate, still wondering where Luna had managed to find it before turning her attention back to her girlfriend.

"Luna." She began, gently patting the other girl's leg. "Honey? We need to talk."

"Of course." Luna replied, not bothering to look up. "Anything you need babe, I am here to listen."

"You need to go back home." Sam blurted out, trying to rip off the metaphorical band-aid.

 _Twang_. Luna had recoiled in horror at Sam's statement, inadvertently strumming her guitar. She had to hand it to the loudest Loud, it was tuned to perfection.

"Look, Lunes." She went on, trying to placate the girl. "Don't get me wrong, I _love_ having you here—" Sam prided herself on the fact that she'd manage to keep her face straight while saying that "—but you were only supposed to be here for a couple of days. My parents are concerned about the fact that you...kinda live here now."

"Oh, I get it." Luna's face darkened. "Your parents can't handle the fact that you're dating a girl. Is that it?"

"Actually, my parents have been really supportive of us." Sam corrected her, trying not to smirk. "They're pretty woke like that. They don't even mind that you get kinda...uh, loud? When we're having our alone time. But..." Sam cleared her throat "They would like to know who that 'Lincoln' fellow is, and why he keeps coming up in our... 'conversations'."

Sam scooted herself closer to Luna, slapping the other girl's hand as it crept back towards the discarded guitar. She wrapped her arms around Luna and pulled her into a warm embrace, nuzzling the other girl's cheek with her own.

"It's not that I don't want to mate with you, hun." She reassured her trembling, distraught girlfriend. "I just don't want to _roommate_ with you. Not while you're like this."

"If I go back home, he's going to be there." Luna murmured unto Sam's shoulder.

"I know, babe."

"And he's gonna be all cute, and lovable, and perfect, and _related to me_."

"I-I know, I know." Sam replied, hoping Luna didn't notice the hitch in her voice. She was trying to be supportive, but it wasn't her fault that Lunacoln sounded _hawt_. She wanted to ship that almost as badly as she wanted to be involved.

"Listen, Luna." Sam released her hold on the girl and held her at arm's length, making sure to look her straight in the eye. "We're going to make this right, okay? You're going to go home, and we're going to get you your man." _And then you're going to let me watch him defile you,_ she thought.

"I-I think you did that thing again, babe." Luna spoke up, haltingly. "Where you think you're thinking something, but you're actually saying it out loud. Also, you're drooling."

Crap. Foiled by her libido. Again.

"Regardless." Sam took a moment to wipe her mouth on her sleeve, before firmly clasping Luna's shoulders once again. "I have a plan. One which can't possibly fail."

"And if it does?" Luna frowned, seemingly unconvinced.

"Then I might have to break up with you." Sam admitted. "Because you're driving me nuts." She peered off into the distance, stroking her chin contemplatively. "Do you think Lincoln likes blondes?"

It was a joke. Alright, it was mostly a joke. At least 75%, she was fairly certain. She thought they'd have a good laugh over it. Unfortunately, Sam's dedication to her bit prevented her from seeing the flash of fury in Luna's eyes. Or the way the girl's hand snaked out towards the fallen guitar with unnatural speed.

_KABONG!_


	18. Chapter 18

_**"And THAT"**_ , Darkness concluded, **_"Is why you lost. It was a very clear tactical oversight, you see?"_**

Maggie nodded, dutifully writing in her notebook as she did so. It had been several days since her ill-fated outing, and subsequent failure to rescue Lincoln from his oppressive and clearly deranged family. Mr. Darkness had given her some time to recover from the beating she'd received at the hands of the weird, new, pun-spouting Gigant before calling her into his office for a performance review. Maggie appreciate the gesture, both the time off and the review session. While the physical damage she'd taken had been easy enough to fix, the dark energy empowering her at the time having mitigated the worst of any potential lasting harm, her inability to save her pale-haired friend had been wearing on her, leaving her more depressed than usual. So when Darkness had offered her some one-on-one time to go over her shortcomings, she'd jumped at the chance. Next time she'd be ready. And no sister, no matter how crazy, or busty, or crazy busty she was for that matter, was going to stand in her—

_WHUMPF!_

Maggie started in surprise as an enormous pile of papers slammed onto the desk before her. Papers typically didn't slam themselves for no reason, so there had to be an explanation for this. Noticing a paper-cut lacerated hand on top of the pile, shaking with barely restrained fury, it occurred to Maggie that the individual attached to said appendage might be the perpetrator of this strange occurrence. She began to follow the trail of flesh with her eyes. Hand quickly transitioned to arm, arm to a sweatered, modestly endowed torso, and a little ways above that she found herself looking at the _furious_ face of an older looking brunette girl. Maggie's mouth formed into a perfect O, as all the pieces finally fell into place. Oh, right. Fiona existed. And...smelled, like...burnt popcorn?

"It's finished." The older girl hissed, glaring at the black clad entity on the other side of the desk.

 ** _"Excellent."_** Darkness snapped his fingers, and an instant later, the pile vanished from view, the sudden disappearance of the thing that had been supporting the bottom heavy girl nearly causing her to topple over. Miraculously, however, she managed to recover, and rightened herself while maintaining the baleful glare she'd been sending Darkness' way.

"Is that it?" She asked, seemingly already knowing the answer.

**_"That's it."_ **

"Was there even any purpose in me suffering through that?" Fiona growled, twitching sporadically. "I spent _three_ _days_ locked in that office! And I only know _that_ because Gladys kept showing up every four hours to throw clocks and calendars into the room!"

Darkness slowly spread his arms to the side, eventually transitioning into a small shrug. **_"Who can say?"_**

Fiona let out one last violent twitch before freezing up entirely. A few seconds later, she allowed her body to relax, and flopped into the chair next to Maggie with a small sigh of resignation.

"I knew that was coming." She grumbled, her anger now significantly abated. "I _knew_ something just like this was gonna happen. I'm not even surprised."

 ** _"Then you're learning."_** Darkness said, sounding pleased.

* * *

"Whatever." Fiona waved her hand dismissively. "So what's this all this dumbness about? Something dumb, I assume."

 ** _"Maggie had her first solo outing, and it didn't go as well as it could have. So, I decided to share a bit of my tactical acumen with my favorite employee."_** Darkness seemed inordinately pleased with himself. This wasn't unusual in and of itself, Fiona could attest from personal experience that this was very nearly his default state of existence. What _was_ strange, was that in this particular instance, it came at the benefit of someone other than himself. This didn't jive with a being who, as far as she could tell, considered every _thing_ in existence to be lesser than himself. And on top of _that_ , something else was bugging her...

"Maggie?" Fiona asked. "Are you actually retaining any of this?"

The raven haired girl held up the notebook she'd been writing in and flipped it around so the others could see it. " **Nope**." It read in big bold letters. Fiona turned back to Darkness, a smirk brimming with self-satisfaction blooming across her face.

_**"Eh."** He shrugged noncommittally. **"Its still adorable that she pretends."**_

"Lucky for her." Fiona grumbled, rolling her eyes. "I bet cute, dumb, and top-heavy are just what Lincoln's looking for in a girl."

"You...you think?" Maggie asked, blushing happily.

* * *

Elsewhere, a certain blonde fashionista let out a violent sneeze.

" _Gazuntite."_ Her companion muttered, not bothering to look up from the rack of swimsuits she was rifling though.

" _Arigato_ , Lori."

* * *

 ** _"Alright, children."_** Darkness clapped his hands in a manner resembling that of a schoolmarm trying to get her class uner control. **_"We've all had our fun, but you have work to do."_**

"Screw that." Fiona scoffed. "I'm injured. I demand to be given time off so I can recover from my explosion wounds! And furthermore—"

_Snap!_

The brunette blinked in surprise as Darkness snapped his fingers, causing her wounds to vanish as if they had never been there to begin with.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, looking herself over. "I feel fantastic! I feel better than I did before you exploded me! I..." She trailed off, her face regaining its usual dour expression as her brain finally caught up with her mouth. "I'm gonna have to do something tedious, frustrating, and painful, and you need me better so I can properly suffer through it...right?"

 ** _"That depends."_** Darkness leaned back in his chair. **_"What does teaming you up with Maggie count as?"_**

"All of the above." Fiona muttered, collapsing into her seat with a grimace. Maggie shrugged, saying nothing, seemingly accepting the older girl's ill-will. Then she brightened up, as a thought seemingly occurred to her.

"Are we gonna go get Lincoln?" She asked, eyes sparkling with hope. "I promise not to fall for any knock-knock jokes this time, honest."

 ** _"I'm sure you won't."_** Darkness nodded towards the raven haired girl. **_"And the answer to your question is, yes—"_**

Maggie let out a gasp of delight.

**_"—ssskinda."_ **

The emo girl's face fell partway, leaving her in a mixed state of confusion, trapped between hope and despair.

"You might have broken her, boss." Fiona observed, chuckling to herself.

_Snap!_

Another snap of Darkness' fingers and Maggie's face resumed its usual configuration, which then quickly shifted back into confusion.

 ** _"Interesting, apparently there are some things even I can't fix."_** The creature murmured to himself. **_"Regardless, I'll explain."_** Darkness reached over and activated his intercom. _**"Send her in."**_

There was a polite knock at the door, drawing the attention of the two employees. Moments later, the door opened, and a tall, incredibly curvaceous young woman in a tight-fitting yellow mini-dress stepped into the room.

 ** _"You two,"_** Darkness announced, grandly, **_"Will be field testing our flagship product."_**

* * *

Silence fell upon the room as Maggie and Fiona took in the new arrival, who walked briskly across the room and silently took her place alongside Darkness' desk.

"Is she...carrying it? Or something?" Maggie asked, not comprehending the situation.

"She looks familiar..." Fiona murmured, tapping the side of her head. Suddenly, her eyes widened in realization. "Wait, isn't that the girl Leni fought a while back?"

 ** _"Close, but not quite."_** Darkness replied, reaching into his desk. **_"But I applaud you on your observational skills. Have a candy!"_** Darkness withdrew a small lolipop and threw it to Maggie, who immediately tore off the wrapper and began devouring the treat.

"But _I'm_ the one one who said it." Fiona gestured to herself.

 ** _"You were."_** Darkness nodded in acknowledgement. **_"But it's company policy to give Maggie all reward incentives."_**

"That doesn't sound especially fair." Fiona observed.

 ** _"Thank you."_ **Darkness preened, clearly pleased.

"Yum yum." Maggie murmured, happily slurping her sweet.

"Whatever." Fiona gestured towards the new girl. "So what's the deal with the gratuitous teenage boy fantasy over there?"

Darkness leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in front of him. **_"As I said, this is our new flagship product. It has occurred to me that thus far, you two have been borderline useless. And I only say 'borderline', because Maggie's recent performance managed to drag the curve up a few notches."_**

"Yay." Maggie let out a short, monotone cheer, and briefly pumped her fist in the air.

**_"Indeed. So, I set R &D on the task of designing a better minion. This is the prototype, an artificial construct designed to look like my most recent host."_ **

"Any particular reason?" Fiona asked, cupping her hands a short distance away from her own, not insubstantial chest. "Aside from the obvious ones?"

 ** _"Cute."_** Darkness rolled his eyes. **_"That body performed admirably in the fight against Gigant Green, only held back by the weaknesses of your fleshy human bodies."_**

"Fleshy is a bit of an understatement." Fiona interjected with a smirk.

 ** _"The construct has no such weaknesses."_** Darkness continued, ignoring her. **_"Her robust physique makes her extremely resilient to physical attacks, and her limbs—"_** He gestured towards the girl's curvy legs. **_"Should prove quite strong. Moreover, in addition to her combat capabilities, this particular design should be especially well suited for her primary purpose."_**

"Which is?"

"I need a small boy!" The artificial girl suddenly shouted at the top of her lungs, causing both girls to start in surprise. "I need him right now!"

Maggie and Fiona looked from the artificial girl to their employer, a rare moment where both girls were were united by their sense of incredulity.

 ** _"I did say she was a prototype."_** Darkness briefly rapt his fingers across his desk, thoughtful. **_"But that is the gist of it, more or less."_**

* * *

 ** _"The minion was designed with the ability to detect the unique energy signature that those Gigant girls use to transform."_** Darkness explained.

"Nifty, but what's the point of that?" Fiona asked. "They only ever transform when they're coming after us. Plus, I can literally just ask Leni where she is at any given time. And she'll _tell_ me!" To demonstrate, Fiona pulled out her phone and showed it to the malevolent being.

_Leni: Fiona! Are you free today? Lori and I are shopping, and totes defenseless! You should come join us! :)_

_**"I can't believe I lost to that girl."**_ Darkness muttered, shaking his head. **_Multiple times."_** The being of incalculable evil let out a short, despondent sigh, before straightening up once more.

**_"The point isn't to track the girls themselves, its to track their power source."_ **

"Oooooooh." Maggie gasped. "She's a Lincoln tracker!"

"Small boy!" The girl shrieked, seemingly in agreement.

 ** _"Precisely."_** Darkness nodded at his protege. **_"The construct should be able to track the Loud boy within a fairly large radius. Your job is to accompany her and make sure nothing goes wrong. Once she makes contact, the construct will use her superior size and strength to subdue the boy and bring him back here."_**

Maggie glared at artificial girl unhappily. "I don't like it. But if it'll help us save Lincoln from his sisters...I guess its worth a try."

"Am I the only one concerned about the optics of sending an adult woman to abduct a kid?" Fiona asked, dryly. She received no response.

"Fine." Fiona rolled her eyes as she climbed to her feet. "Lets just get this over with."

 ** _"Excellent."_** Darkness gestured towards Fiona, and a single dark seed appeared in her hand. **_"In case of emergency only."_** He cautioned. **_"Strictly speaking, this is what you humans would refer to as a 'smash and grab'. I don't want you getting into a fight unless its absolutely necessary. And_ if _you do your jobs right, it_** **shouldn't be _"._** He placed special emphasis on the last sentence.

"Trust me, the last thing I need today is another ass kicking." Fiona grumbled. "I've had enough of that for a while."

"It's probably because there's so much of it." Maggie opined as she stood up.

"So what are we supposed to call this thing?" Fiona looked the construct up and down, ignoring the younger girl. "We can't just call it 'Artificial Minion', right?"

 ** _"The boys in marketing actually had a suggestion for that in their proposal."_** Darkness rifled through a nearby stack of papers, finally withdrawing one from the pile. **_"Here is is. We'll be referring to this model as, 'Thicc QT'. Apparently it tested well among our key demographic."_**

"Of course it did." Fiona replied, sighing.


	19. Chapter 19

Luna Loud blinked rapidly. A brief inspection of her person confirmed that she was strapped into the passenger seat of a vehicle of some kind. To her right, the familar scenery of Royal Woods rolled on by at a leisurely pace. To her left sat Sam, whistling a jaunty tune as she guided them to their destination. Wherever that was...

"Sam?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Heya Lunes." Came the blonde's cheerful reply.

"Sam?" She repeated, trying to focus. "Where are we going?"

There was a brief pause. "You getting philosophical on me, babe?"

"No." Luna replied, flatly.

"Oh good, because that seems like kind of a headscratcher, and if you ask me—"

" _Sam._ " Luna interjected, wracking her brain for answers and coming up dry. "Why can't I remember how we got here?"

"Oh, that's easy. After you brained me with my own guitar—"

A brief flash of insight. "You deserved it."

"I did." Sam nodded in agreement. Then, so low that Luna _almost_ missed it, "Bet Lincoln doesn't beat up his girlfriends." Luna felt her right hand spasm violently, but she quickly clamped her left hand over it and tried to push down the violent impulses that were beginning to rise up again. _Stay cool_ , she told herself. _You love her. Most of the time._

"So you brained me with my guitar, and after we stopped the bleeding, you asked me to explain my plan to hook you up with Lincoln."

Luna winced as how blase the other girl was being about the situation. "And then what?"

"I did."

"And _then_ what?" Luna growled

"You started screaming."

That would explain why her throat felt so raw. "And—"

"You kept on screaming. For like, a really long time. I think my parents thought we were doing some kind of weird sex thing, it got super awkward when I went down to the kitchen to make a snack and they could still hear you..."

Luna groaned, clutching her head in her hands. One day, that was all she wanted. One day where she didn't come off as crazy or a pervert to Mr and Mrs. Sharp. Was that really so much to ask?

"...and she told me that Lincoln had gone to the park. So I managed to wrangle you back inside the van, and _then_ you finally stopped screaming. And here we are."

"Right." Luna murmured, looking around. "Here in this...wait, is this Chunk's van?"

"Yep."

"I hate to repeat myself, _but_ —"

"I borrowed it." Sam chirped, cheerfully.

"Borrowed. This van. From Chester Monk." Luna asked, slowly, the words sounding alien on her tongue.

"History is written by the winners." Sam replied flippantly. "There will come a day when we remember this incident as the time I 'borrowed' his van."

"Right." Luna sighed. "Should I even bother pointing out that you don't have a license?"

"I have a learner's permit!" Sam protested, looking hurt.

It didn't phase Luna. "You do _not_ have a learner's permit!" She growled, jabbing one accusing finger at the blonde girl.

Sam immediately dropped the act. "Fine." She admitted, rolling her eyes. "But I've played a lot of _Total Turbo XXII_ with Lincoln, and the principle seems pretty much the same."

"We've really gotta buy Lincoln some better games." Grumbled Luna, sliding further down in her seat.

"Wanna see this cool trick Leni showed me?"

* * *

Lynn Loud stared at the wheezing, crumpled heap of human flesh at her feet, and tsked in mild disappointment.

"You know, little bro." She began, conversationally. "If we hung out more often, you'd be able to handle a light jog like this without breaking a sweat."

"Ten...miles..." Rasped the broken boy on the floor.

Lynn rolled her eyes. "I thought you'd appreciate the scenic route."

"Taste...death..."

"Fine, you baby." She grumbled, "I'll help you for this last bit." Lynn leaned down, wrapped one arm around Lincoln, and with a small, very unladylike grunt, slung her little brother over her shoulders.

"Be happy you have such a caring big sister." Lynn ordered, trying to keep her voice level in spite of her close proximity to Lincoln. His scent, the feel of his breath against her neck, they way his body heat intermingled with hers, it was as wonderful was it was embarrassing, and the dizzying array of sensations left the athlete quite flustered.

Fortunately, Lincoln was in no condition to notice her current state.

"Delete my browser history." He croaked, before finally going limp.

"I can only promise to try." Lynn chuckled to herself, as she resumed the last leg of their journey. "Lucy likes to keep tabs on what you're currently into."

* * *

Lynn unceremoniously dumped Lincoln onto a park bench. She nodded in satisfaction as the impact caused the boy to stir, feebly waving his arms and legs around like a turtle that had been knocked onto its back. Setting her pack down, she with drew two water bottles and opened one up.

"Drink." She ordered, splashing a little water on Lincoln's face to get his attention. The effect was almost instantaneous, Lincoln's eyes shot open, and glanced around frantically until they finally settled on the bottle on Lynn's hand. With a grunt that might have passed for a "thanks", he snatched the bottle from her hand and greedily began to gulp down the life nourishing liquid. Lynn smirked in bemusement, taking the opportunity to appreciate the way Lincoln's sweat, and now water-stained polo clung to his chest.

_"Should have given little bro the opportunity to change into something a little more appropriate."_ She thought to herself. " _Gonna have to get him something that breaths better._ "

She paused for a moment to consider this. _"Also, something in white. Definitely white."_

Deciding that she'd given Lincoln enough time to wallow in his own misery, she leaned over and slapped him on his leg. Hard enough to get his attention, but not hard enough to hurt.

"Alright, alright." She chuckled. "Stop milking it." Lincoln silently withdrew his legs and sat upright, making room for Lynn to sit down. Lynn took the implied invitation, and after a moment of deliberation, slid herself closer to the still wheezing boy.

"Feeling better?" She asked, gently nudging him with her elbow.

"S-sorry." He muttered, holding up his bottle to take another drink, but finding it empty. Lynn reached over and replaced his empty bottle, with her own, still mostly full bottle. Lincoln gave her a quick nod of thanks, and, much to her amusement, immediately resumed drowning himself. She was heartened by the fact that he didn't seem to care that she'd already drunk from the bottle.

"What are you apologizing for? She asked once his drinking had slowed enough that they could converse again.

"For this." He said, gesturing to his sweat-soaked body. Lynn took the invitation to look him over. She was more than happy to do so.

"People sweat, Linc." She replied, slightly confused. "Girls too, despite what Lori might tell you. Its nothing to feel bad about."

"Not that." He waved dismissively. "Though I would like you to sign an affidavit to that effect. I meant because you wanted to go running, and I couldnt cut it." He took a moment to fan himself with his hand. "It can't have been very fun to have had to look after me the entire time."

The fact that Lincoln was essentially apologizing for being himself was so ridiculous that Lynn almost burst out laughing. But the hangdog expression on the boy's face indicated that he was being 100% serious. Alright, this was going to require a delicate touch.

"Don't be dumb, Linc." She scoffed, slapping him on the back.

_Smack!_

Lynn winced, immediately regretting it, she hadn't intended to hit him _that_ hard. She opened her mouth, intending to apologize, when she noticed that Lincoln hadn't reacted in the slightest. This was...strange. She loved her little brother (on multiple levels), but the sole male Loud sibling was a pasty, comic-book reading dork who bruised if you gave him a stern look.

Lynn discretely withdrew her hand from its place on Lincoln's back, and swatted at the air experimentally. First Lori destroyed her at arm wrestling, and now Lincoln was no-selling her smacks, unintentional though it may have been. _From now on, every day is arm day until the universe goes back to normal_ , she vowed to herself before turning her attention back to her little brother. Hesitant to express her affection in her usual way, partially out of fear for Lincoln, but also out of fear that her arm would just, fall off or something, she instead opted to wrap her arms around Lincoln and pull him into a hug.

"Lincoln." She began, fighting down the blush that was threatening to overtake her. "Do you really think I'd bring _you_ of all people out here if I wanted to get a serious workout?" She flinched. _Too harsh!_ She admonished herself.

Fortunately, Lincoln took the jibe in good humor, chuckling softly. "I guess not." He admitted, scratching the back his head in embarrassment. It made him look _adorable_.

"I invited you along because I wanted to hang out with _you_ , ya dope!" She grumbled, giving him a squeeze. "Feels like you've been avoiding me lately."

Lincoln made to straighten up, but Lynn refused to loosen her grip on him, forcing the boy to shimmy around so he could look at her properly. It ended up leaving his face precariously close to hers. Lynn immediately felt a familiar heat begin to work its way up into her face.

"I'm not avoiding you Lynn." He protested. "Honest. I've just been...uh...busy."

"Not too busy to hang out with Lori or Leni." She grumbled, turning away from him. "Or Luan, who also seems to have joined your little club."

She started in surprise as she felt Lincoln cup her face with his hand, and gently, but firmly turn her head back to look at him. He was staring at her very intently now. It felt...nice...

"I mean it, Lynn. I'd never avoid you like that." He said softly, slowly sliding his hand down Lynn's face. Lynn fought back the urge to purr, grabbing Lincoln's hand with one of her own, and forcing it back against her cheek.

"Then what is it that you guys _do_ together?" She demanded, perhaps a bit more forcefully than she'd intended. But now the floodgates were opened, and the tide of emotions were gushing out. "It's bad enough that they're always hanging around in your room, even when you aren't there—"

"Wait, what?" Lincoln asked blinking in surprise.

"—And that they always throw a fit when I want to spend some time with you." She continued, as if he hadn't said anything. She refused to be the one who had to try and explain _that_ little bit of weirdness. "But sometimes you all just _disappear_! Without telling anyone where you're going!"

Lynn shoved Lincoln away, feeling a rant coming on. "And you know its dangerous out there! There's...drugs, and guns, a-and those weird giant women who keep showing up and smashing up the city!"

"One of those things is not like the other." Lincoln observed, dryly.

Lynn smacked him again, this time refusing to feel bad about it. Lincoln took it in stride. _Again._ That was starting to get a little irritating.

"I just...worry about you, Linc." She said at last, her shoulders drooping as a wave of exhaustion washed over her. "I'm your big sister. I'm supposed to protect you."

Lynn felt a brief stab of panic, worried that she might have said too much. But then she felt Lincoln's arms encircle her waist and pull her close, and it became difficult to refrain from leaping on the poor boy. Instead, she leaned against him, laying her head atop Lincoln's chest, hoping he couldn't see the giant grin on her face.

"You know..." He said, after a time. "They're my big sisters too."

"Nope." She murmured, shaking her head. "The day you were born was the day I became a big sister. That means you're _my_ little brother. And _I'm_ more your big sister than any of them. Your biggest sister!"

Lincoln snorted, seemingly amused by this.

"Don't laugh." Lynn growled. "I'm being serious."

"You're being adorable." Lincoln retorted, chuckling. Lynn clamped her mouth shut, uncertain as to how she should respond.

_CRASH!_

And just like that, she and Lincoln had more important things to worry about.

* * *

"Excuse me!"

Maggie's bloodshot eyes snapped open, and she immediately began frantically looking around. She knew that voice. Where did she go this time...?

There was a gentle prodding against her side. "Over there." Fiona grunted, her voice coarse. Maggie looked in the direction the older girl was indicating, and unsurprisingly, she found exactly what she was looking for...

"Give me your small child! He might have what I need!"

A terrified little boy, hiding behind his irate mother as a tall, well-built woman in yellow harangued the pair.

"Same as before?" Maggie asked, sighing.

"Yep." Fiona affirmed as she staggered forward. "I'll go high, you go low."

* * *

The girls grunted in unison, and with a bit of concentrated effort, managed to shove the construct onto a nearby bench they had commandeered for exactly that purpose. Naturally, she immediately attempted to stand back up, but Fiona and Maggie, old hands at this by now, slid into place in front of her, blocking her ascent.

"Sit. _Down_." Fiona growled, her eyes flashing with barely restrained fury. Much to Maggie's relief, the other girl complied, albeit petulantly.

"I must complete my mission!" She protested. Her eyes widened as her attention turned to something beyond the two-girl front before her, but before she could react any further, Maggie and Fiona were already upon her, pinning her to the bench until she stopped struggling. The pair released her once more, and she stared back. Petulant, but not resisting.

"Did he have to make her so strong?" Fiona asked, wearily, not taking her eyes off the irate minion.

"Mr. Darkness said she was made for fighting." Maggie replied, equally exhausted. "So yeah. I guess."

This had been their morning so far. Darkness' plan hadn't seemed like the _worse_ idea in the world. The company's new flagship product was, in effect, a Lincoln-detector, albeit one that was needlessly sexy in nature. Maggie's gaze landed onto the minion's vast expanse of cleavage that was prominently on display, and frowned as she quickly glanced down at her own considerable endowments. For the second time in her life, she found herself feeling strangely self-conscious. There _had_ to be a point where "big" transitioned into "too big", right? Lincoln _liked_ her. He'd very nearly said as much! Kind of! That meant he had to be happy with her boobs, right? _Right_?

Maggie shook her head, trying to get her thoughts back on track. And definitely away from the image of the brunette boob-monster she'd tried and failed to rescue Lincoln from only a few days prior, now insidiously bubbling up from her subconscious. _Focus_ _!_ She ordered herself, trying to ignore just how tightly her fists clenched as the other girl's mocking smile briefly blinked into her memory.

So the plan had been solid enough on paper. They'd escort their new minion around as she homed in on Lincoln. They already knew that two of his his sisters were occupied elsewhere, leaving Lincoln relatively unguarded. So it should be a simple matter to rescue him and take him back to Darkness Inc. for safe keeping. And then they'd celebrate over a delicious, home made spaghetti dinner. Ideally after Maggie learned to make spaghetti.

The problem...

"There's another one!" The yellow clad girl shrieked, trying to struggle to her feet.

"White hair!" Fiona growled, wrestling her back onto the bench. "He needs to have white hair! How can you be _this_ terrible at the thing you were literally made for!"

...was that their new comrade had something of a hair trigger. She'd insisted that they were nearing proximity to the pale haired boy, but the further they went...

"That might be him!"

"That's a _girl_!"

...the more sporadic she got, necessitating that Maggie and Fiona chase her down and drag her away from terrified children and their confused and irate parents. It had been a very trying experience.

"Look!" Fiona spat, as she finally got the girl to calm down once more. "Thicc..." She sighed, shaking her head in disgust. "QT. I still can't believe that's the name they went with."

"Mr. Darkness said it tested well." Said Maggie, shrugging.

"Of course it did!" Fiona gestured to the overly proportioned gal. "Just look at her! It doesn't change the fact that its ridiculous!"

"Focus, Fiona." Maggie replied, gently reprimanding the older girl.

"Fine. Whatever." Fiona rolled her eyes, before turning her attention back to the now fidgeting minion. "Look...QT." Another sigh. "You're making this thing way more complicated than it needs to be. And it's already stupid, so you're single-handedly making this stupid _and_ complicated!"

"Small boy." QT recited, pointing.

"Yes!" Fiona roared, her patience clearly having been tested beyond its limit. "But we're looking for a very specific kid!"

QT considered this. "White hair?"

"Yes." Fiona hissed.

"Orange polo shirt?"

"Yes." Fiona repeated, twitching slightly.

"It makes him look dapper." Maggie interjected, blushing slightly.

Again, QT looked thoughtful. "Big teeth?"

"YE—" Fiona stopped herself, mid-shout, blinking in surprise. "—eeees? That sounds like the kid we're looking for." She took a deep breath. "Now, do you think you can find someone who meets all those qualities, instead of just running around and grabbing random kids?"

Wordlessly, QT pointed in the same direction. Maggie turned in the indicated direction, let out a small gasp, and frantically began to pat Fiona on her shoulder.

"Fiona!" Maggie hissed, patting the older girl more emphatically.

" _What?_ _!_ " Fiona growled, finally looking for herself. The older girl's mouth swung open in surprise.

"Small boy. White hair. Orange polo shirt. Big teeth." QT jabbed the air once more. "That subject meets all the requirements."

* * *

"Well I'll be damned." Fiona murmured softly.

Maggie nodded silently. Cute white hair, strong jawline, and those beautiful eyes...currently staring at another girl. That was definitely Lincoln...spending time with another girl. One who was not her. A slight throbbing in her hand drew Maggie's attention. Her fist, clenched so tightly that it was trembling. That was strange...

Fiona cleared her throat. "Alright...QT. It looks like you finally managed to perform your most basic function. Congrats."

"Thank you." The other girl nodded, accepting the compliment, such as it was. Then she began to climb to her feet once more.

"Woah, woah!" Fiona protested, gesturing for the minion to sit back down. "What are you doing?"

"We have located the target." QT replied, her tone very matter of fact. "Now I will retrieve him and complete the mission."

"I like that." Maggie opined. She discretely grabbed her still trembling fist with her free hand, and with a small grunt of exertion, wrenched her clenched fist open, letting out a small sigh of relief as blood began to circulate through the limb once more. "We should go do that. Right now."

"You want to go abduct a kid in public?" Fiona asked, gesturing around them. "In front of all these people?"

"Maybe QT could exercise some discretion?" Maggie replied, immediately regretting the words as she said them.

Fiona, seemingly aware of this, merely gestured at the scantily clad sex pot. As if to say, " _Does this girl look like she knows the meaning of discretion?"_

_"_ Small boy." QT added, helpfully.

Maggie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Alright." She conceded. "That might be slightly impossible. So what should we do then?"

"Nothing. The plan's a bust." Fiona retorted, rolling her eyes. "Even Darkness didn't wanted to get this done on the downlow. We try to snatch that kid now, and things are going to get really loud, really fast. No pun intended."

Maggie glared at the brunette girl currently occupying Lincoln's attention. She wanted to protest, to go over there and zap the girl in her stupid face. But Fiona's logic was unassailable.

"Fine." She conceded at last, unable and unwilling to hide her disappointment. "So we just bail?"

"Bingo." Fiona nodded, before turning to the third member of their group. "Alright, QT, we're calling it..." She trailed off as the yellow clad girl rose to her feet, and gently but firmly pushed Fiona out of her way.

"I _need_ that boy." QT stated, her face and tone completely serious. "I _will_ not abandon my mission." She paused to consider the pair. "And as you are, I don't think either of you are in any condition to stop me."

Maggie glanced at Fiona, heartened somewhat to see the older girl doing the same. Considerably less heartened to see naked panic in the older girl's eyes, which reflected exactly what she was currently feeling.

"Do...uh, do you think we can take her?" Fiona asked, worriedly.

Maggie raised her arms and wiggled them experimentally. They looked about as noodley as they felt. "I don't think so."

Then a lightbulb went off in Maggie's head. "Fiona!" She hissed. "You've got that dark seed! Use it!"

Fiona's eyes lit up with recognition, and she reached for her pocket, fumbling for a few moments before withdrawing the seed.

"Ha!" She crowed, holding up the dark seed triumphantly. "Good call Maggie. Not the neatest getaway, but I'll just pop this thing, and we'll be out of here before you can say—"

"Auxiliary power source detected." QT intoned, locking her eyes on the small black object. She opened her mouth wide and began to inhale, confusing Maggie initially. But that confusion quickly turned to terror as the dark seed was quickly sucked out of Fiona's outstretched hand and into QT's waiting maw.

"Fiona?" Maggie asked as the minion bit down on the seed with a very satisfying _crunch._ The effect was instantaneous. QT began to tremble as black lightning began to crackle across her body. A thick, dark miasma began to form around the girl, quickly obscuring her from sight.

"I think we should leave." Fiona opined, gulping loudly. "Now!"

* * *

Lynn jumped in surprise as a loud crashing noise interrupted her intimate moment with Lincoln. She turned in the direction of the sound, fully intending on delivering a very angry reprimand to whoever had the audacity to interrupt her alone time with her little brother. It was...a foot. A very, very large...foot. Lynn's gaze traveled upward, past a pair of ridiculously shapely legs, past a yellow mini-dress that was _way_ too short to be wearing from this vantage (she absentmindedly reached over and firmly clamped her hand over Lincoln's eyes, ignoring the boy's sputtered protests), catching very briefly upon a pair of breasts that utterly ridiculous, even relative to the size of the individual, and finally up to...the face of a very angry, very large woman. Lynn took a moment to sigh to herself. Another goddamn giant woman. Of all the days to happen, it had to happen on her day with Lincoln.

"I WILL TAKE THE SMALL BOY!" She thundered, reaching down, one massive hand outstretched. It took Lynn a few seconds longer than it should have for her to realize that the enormous appendage was coming straight at them.

With a grunt of exertion, the sporty Loud hoisted Lincoln over her head, and leapt from the bench they were sitting on.

"Lynn!" Lincoln protested as they sailed through the air. If any further complaint was to come, it was swiftly interrupted by the pair hitting the ground, causing them to roll a short distance away. _"And not a second too soon."_ Lynn thought to herself as they rolled to a stop, seeing the giant hand complete its descent and smash the bench, as well as the area immediately around it into pieces.

Lynn turned her attention back to Lincoln, reddening as she realized that he'd ended up laying directly atop her. He looked worried, and that was distracting, because Lincoln looked _adorable_ when he was worried. Shame she couldn't take the time to appreciate it.

"L-linc!" She stammered, trying to focus. "We gotta go! Now!"

The boy hesitated, not removing himself from his spot on top of her. In other circumstances, Lynn would have been thrilled.

"Lincoln!" She shouted, snapping her fingers in the boy's face.

"S-sorry Lynn." He said, gulping nervously. "But...please don't hate me for this!"

Lynn's face scrunched up in confusion. "Hate you for—" She didn't get to finish, as Lincoln lowered his face, and pressed his lips against hers. A thousand different things ran through Lynn's mind in that instant. Surprise at Lincoln's boldness. Delight that, although this was very much not the opportune time to do this, her little bro seemingly reciprocated her feelings. And complete and utter _confusion_...she took a second to moan in delight as Lincoln's tongue danced around her own, gently teasing the muscle with cute little pokes and prods. Ahem, _confusion_ at how her sweet, innocent little brother was weirdly good at this, not to mention—

Lynn's train of thought was once again interrupted as her world exploded into a bright flash of blinding red light.

* * *

Lynn blinked rapidly as vision slowly returned to her eyes, her brain rapidly trying to catch up with the last few moments. She'd been on the ground, happily making out with Lincoln, and now she was on her feet again, her little brother's comforting body heat suddenly, and distressingly absent. And before that, they'd been trying to escape—

"RAAAAARGH!"

Lynn's head jerked in the direction of the sudden noise. Right, they'd been trying to get away from the giant monster lady. The giant monster lady who was rushing straight at her. The giant...monster lady...who was suddenly looking much more reasonably sized...

Lynn's instincts kicked in and she settled into a low crouch, eyeing the rapidly disappearing distance between her and her opponent with a practiced eye, counting off the passing seconds in her head. Three...two...and... _there_!

As soon as the woman rampaged herself into range, Lynn pushed herself off the ground and into the air, twirling in place as she did so to build up momentum, and then lashing out with her foot the instant she completed her rotation. It was flawless, if she did say so herself. A textbook example of Lynn Loud's Flying Loudhouse Kick, patent pending. The woman, charging heedlessly forward, had quite literally walked right into it. Lynn's foot impacted against the yellow-clad woman's face, and sent her flying backwards.

"Woah." Lynn murmured to herself, eyes wide with shock. She'd never hit anyone that hard before...

"Nice job, Lynn!" Came a tiny, familiar voice. She glanced around trying to find the source, noting that the surrounding area looked very much like the park she had just been at with Lincoln. But scaled down. A _lot_.

"Over here!" Lynn realized that the voice was coming from her...shoulder?

And there, perched just to the side of her head, was her little brother. Very literally so.

"Lincoln?" She gasped, goggling at her now toy sized sibling.

The pale haired boy, laughed nervously. "W-well, Lynn." He stammered. "You said you wanted to be my big sister. Right?"


	20. Chapter 20

Lynn Loud's mind reeled as she attempted to process the rapid fire series of events that had led to her current situation: standing high above the local park, clad in a sort of red jumpsuit that was _entirely_ too snug for her tastes, and watching an equally large, previously rampaging monster woman, currently between rampages as she attempted to struggle to her feet.

"Hey, Lynn!" Squeaked a tiny voice from her shoulder. Oh right, and there was _that_ whole thing too. Her little brother, favorite sibling, and not-so-secret crush was somehow responsible for this strange turn of events.

"Lynn! Are you listening to me? You've gotta—EEP" Lincoln's yelling was interrupted as Lynn picked him up off her shoulder, and held him up to her face.

It was definitely Lincoln, Lynn noted, size not withstanding. Same white hair, same dopey teeth. Those same smoldering eyes that turned her nether regions to jelly.

"Lynn! Lynn! You've gotta stop messing around! We've gotta—"

Lynn turned the tiny boy over in her hands, gently prodding at him at him with her finger, marveling at the sensation of his tiny body against her hand. His little turkey tail, the still damp fabric of his polo shirt, his...jeans. Lynn reddened slightly as she realized that her finger was now pressed squarely against Lincoln's crotch. And it occurred to her, that as she was, there was very little stopping her from just...taking off his pants...

"Lynn!"

It'd be so easy. Probably just need one good tug, and off they'd go...

" _Lynn!"_

She remembered doing something similar with one of Lori's dolls when she was younger. Lynn hadn't known what to expect at the time, so she wasn't aware enough to be disappointed when the little plastic man turned out to be completely barren down there.

"Lynn!"

But _Lincoln,_ as small as he was, wasn't made of plastic...right? Surely there had to be something down there...right? As his big sister, it seemed only natural that she should give her little brother a very _thorough_ inspection...

"LYNN!"

An extra loud yell broke the supersized athlete from her hormone induced stupor. She realized that she was now holding a very irate Lincoln right up against her face. A very irate Lincoln, desperately trying to pry her fingers off the hem of his pants. Whoops...

"...What's up, Linc?" She offered, cheerfully, as if all of this was perfectly normal. Lincoln flinched, and Lynn winced in sympathy, only just now aware of how loud her voice must be at this proximity.

"You...okay?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Totally fine." She replied, smiling in what she hoped was a reassuring manner.

"Are you sure?" He pressed, frowning.

"Why would you think otherwise?" Lynn asked, perplexed.

Lincoln wordlessly gestured to her giant fingers, still frozen in the act of preparing to pants him.

"I was just making sure you weren't...hurt." She supplied, hoping he would buy it.

"Uh uh." The expression on Lincoln's face suggested that he probably hadn't. "Were you even listening to a word I said?"

"Of course." Lynn scoffed, trying to act as if she didn't still have her fingers clamped onto her little brother's pants.

"Really?" Jeeze, Lincoln really needed to learn to be more trusting.

"Uh, yeah." Lynn rolled her eyes, trying to project confidence. "You were talking about how this is...uh...some kind of Ace Savvy thing."

There was a brief pause. "I mean...I guess that's true, from a certain point of view." Lincoln conceded at last.

"See?" It was at this point that Lynn finally loosened her grip and withdrew her fingers as discretely as possible. "And now I've gotta go over there and punch that girl in the face some more, right?"

"Also correct, more or less."

"Well there you go, easy peasy." With that Lynn gently placed Lincoln back on her shoulder, preparing to capitalize on her rapidly disappearing advantage ( _"Stupid hormones."_ ) She grumbled internally. Then, a thought occurred to her. Lynn straightened back up, spun on her heel, and glanced around the miniature park. Finally, she found her target, and sped off...in the exact opposite direction of the fallen monster lady.

"Lynn!" Lincoln yelped, clinging to her neck. "Where are you going!?"

"Just gotta take care of one quick thing first!" She reassured him and picked up her pace.

* * *

"WOO HOO!"

Lincoln sighed, slapping his palm against his face. Admittedly, Lynn had been dragged into this fight with zero knowledge of what was going on, or what was at stake. So she could be forgiven for not taking things as seriously as she should be. To degree.

"YES!"

Even so, he couldn't help but feel annoyed that the super important thing she had to take care of before saving the day had turned out to be rushing to the basketball court.

"BOOM!" Lynn crowed, as she effortlessly made another basket by simply dropping the basketball into the hoop. "DID YOU SEE THAT LINC?"

"I saw, Lynn." He replied, wearily. He'd seen her do it _multiple times_ , as a matter of fact. Entirely too many times, given the circumstances.

"I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT SEASONS STARTS!" Lynn shouted, pumping her fist in the air excitedly. "HAZELTUCKY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!"

It was at this point that Lincoln caught sight of something very distressing in the rapidly disappearing distance.

"It's funny you mention that, Lynn!" He shouted, worriedly.

"WHY'S THAT?"

Lincoln didn't have a chance to respond—

"RAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

_CRASH_

—but as he sailed through the air, he found himself sincerely hoping that Lynn would appreciate the humor of being drop kicked in the back of her head by an angry, giant woman at that _exact_ second...

* * *

"Alright, Sam." Luna said, slowly, trying to sound less exasperated than she felt. It wasn't easy. "We're at the park. _Now_ are you going to tell me what this plan of yours is?"

The blonde snorted in amusement as she pulled into an empty parking space. "Babe, the window of opportunity on that plan closed _hours_ ago." She shook her head, sadly. "So much popcorn shrimp gone to waste."

"I'm...sorry?" Luna ventured. "I'll try to control myself better, next time you _break my mind_."

"Apology accepted." Sam nodded happily, giving Luna a pat on the shoulder. Then another. Then a third, which lingered long enough to transition into a slow, sensual stroking motion.

" _Sam_." Luna said, flatly.

"Whoops." The blonde chuckled, withdrawing her hand "Sorry hun. You're right, we've got work to do. I'll just take a little something for the road."

Sam reached out again, cupped Luna's left breast in her hand, and gave it a quick squeeze. "There, that'll do it."

"Fantastic." Luna rolled her eyes. "So if the plan's shot, what are we doing here?"

"Winging it, of course." Sam scoffed, as if it was self evident.

Sam reached below her seat and withdrew a small piece of black cloth. "Here." She said, handing it to Luna. "Put this on and follow my lead."

Luna unfurled the cloth in her hand. "A ski mask?" She asked, confused.

"Its actually called a balaclava." Sam corrected her, indicating her own mask. "Now, and this is important. If we get hassled by any cops, I need you to calmly, but firmly scream—"

_BOOM_

Sam's explanation was abruptly cut short as the van shook violently around.

"What the heck was that?!" Cried Luna, frantically looking around the still shaking vehicle.

"Probably that." Luna followed her girlfriend's outstretched finger, and gasped as she saw a giant girl dressed in skintight red spandex crash into the ground only a few hundred feet away from the parking lot. Before she could properly react, a second giantess clad in a tight yellow-minidress leapt onto the scene, and immediately began laying into the first girl with her wrecking ball sized fists.

"God _dammit_!"

"Awesome!"

There was a moment of silence as Luna slowly turned towards the blonde.

"Awesome?" She asked in disbelief.

"Ya huh." Sam nodded happily, gesturing at giant sized melee going on before them. "It's a couple of babes in clothes so tight they might as well not be there at all, rubbing their fun bits all over each other."

She sighed in contentment as the girl in yellow pulled the girl in red into a headlock, inadvertently smothering her opponent with her oversized breasts. "What's not to like?"

"How about _everything_?" Luna flung out her arms in exasperation, one slamming into the passenger side door and the only very nearly braining Sam. "Those dumb broads keeping showing up whenever they feel like it, and then they just wreck stuff! Like my _house_! Remember that?"

"I mean, yeah, that sucked." Sam conceded. "But generally speaking, they don't actually hurt anyone. They just kinda show up and start fighting each other, maybe wreck some buildings in the process."

"That's even worse!" Luna huffed slouching down in her seat. "It's like rain on your wedding day! They just show up and wreck stuff because it gets in their way! They're like..."

She floundered, searching for the proper verbage. "They're basically a natural disaster! Like a tornado, or an earthquake! But with tits!"

"A _sexy_ tornado." Sam purred, licking her chops. She then noticed Luna glaring at her. "What? Don't kink shame me, they're hot!"

Sam gestured towards the combatants. "Can you seriously look at those girls and tell me you don't want to climb those mountains?"

Luna hemmed, thoughtfully. "Maybe the one in yellow?" She conceded, at last, hesitantly. She started in surprise as Sam let out a guffaw.

"Of _course_ you'd pick that one." The blonde cackled in delight.

"Meaning what?" Luna's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Because proportionately, that girl's stacked like a bookshelf, and you are a boob girl, babe. Hell, I happen to know from personal experience that you're a boob _fiend_." Sam cupped her own very respectable C-cups for emphasis.

"Says the girl who just groped me?" Luna indicated her more modest, B-cup breasts.

"That's different." Sam wrapped one arm around Luna and pulled her close, planting a kiss on the rocker's cheek. "I like everything you've got, girl.

"But you're totally allowed to be superficial like that." Sam added with a wink.

"I-it's not like that" Luna protested, flushing with embarrassment. "It's just...I dunno, there's something about that girl in red that just doesn't do it for me. I can't quite explain it."

"I like her." Sam opined. "I mean, she's got nothing on that blonde one who's shown up a few times. You know, the one in green?" She let out a low whistle. "But this red one's fit as hell. I like that."

"Y-yeah?" Luna frowned, and discretely flexed her arm. It could be worse, having to lug around heavy music equipment gave her a bit more muscle tone than other girls her age...

"Uh uh. And her butt is out of this world." Sam planted a soft, sensual kiss on Luna's neck as she slid her hand down Luna's flank, and gave the Loud girl a firm squeeze on her derriere, eliciting a soft moan from the aspiring rocker.

"And I do have a weakness for girl with junk in her trunk." She purred, giggling as her girlfriend reddened further, this time with pleasure.

Sam licked her lips, preparing to go back in for another taste, when she stopped, certain she could hear something in the distance.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Hey, uh...Lunes?" She asked uncertainly, trying to listen through the disruption caused by the small earthquakes being caused by the giant lady fighting. "Do you hear something?"

"I hear something alright." Luna murmured as she leaned against Sam, presenting her neck to the blonde girl.

"Cute, honey." Sam gently pushed her back and rolled down the window, poking her head outside. "I could swear I heard—"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The sound was much more audible now. Sam craned her neck upwards, and let out a slight gasp.

"Uh, babe?"

"Yeah?" Luna replied sourly, clearly perturbed at the cessation of activity.

"Hypothetically speaking...if Lincoln was plummeting from really high up in the sky...what do you think he'd look like?"

"What?" Luna leaned over and pushed past the blonde so she could see for herself. True to form, she let out an equally startled gasp.

"Drive, Sam!" She shouted, yanking the blonde back into the van and slamming her hand on the dashboard. "Drive, dammit!"

* * *

Lynn growled angrily as she finally managed to free herself from the giant boob monster's grasp. The other girl snarled, and lunged for her, but immediately halted in place, as Lynn stopped her charge with a well placed kidney punch. Before she could recover, Lynn slid around the breathless girl and punched her in the back of the head as hard as she could, nodding in satisfaction as her opponent slammed into the ground.

"Did..." She panted, trying to regain her breath. "Did you see...that...Linc?" Lynn's voice pitched upward as she finished the sentence, causing her to sound remarkably like Leni. The confusion was warranted, however, as she'd only just realized that her little brother was no longer on her shoulder.

She quickly patted herself down to make sure Lincoln hadn't fallen anywhere...ahem, untoward. No, no, and...she spared a glare at her fallen, much bustier opponent. " _Nope, definitely not there_." She thought, bitterly.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

Lynn's ears perked up as she heard a familiar scream. It was much tinier than normal, but very recognizable as a scream she'd heard _many_ times before in her life. That meant he had to be...there!

Lynn gasped with delight as she finally managed to locate her wayward brother. A gasp that quickly became one of distress once he brain registered that Lincoln had inadvertently been launched high into the sky, and was now plummeting towards the ground very very fast!

" _Okay,_ _Loud."_ She thought to herself, crouching into a runner's stance. _"It's fine, you've got this. Just pretend Lincoln's a baseball, should be easy with his hair color and pale, nerd skin. Then, all you gotta do is—"_

_WHUMPF_

Lynn winced, her internal pep talk abruptly interrupted by Lincoln slamming into the ground a good distance away from her. Well...at least the ground broke his fall, right?"

Shaking her head, and dope slapping herself for good measure, Lynn began tromping towards her little brother, heedless of what was inadvertently trampled beneath her mighty feet. She chose to ignore the crunching of would, the cracking of cobblestones, and the screech of twisting metal that acted as the soundtrack for her desperate dash.

 _"It's FINE! It's FINE!"_ She told herself. " _Lincoln's clearly got some kind of magic mojo going on. He'll probably be fine. I just have to get to him, and then we can—"_

Lynn skidded to a stop as an orange van roared into sight, crashing to the ground with a loud squeal before rocketing towards her comatose little brother. Skidding to a stop only scant inches away from the boy. Lynn made to resume her charge, determined to tear that idiot a new one for endangering her Lincoln like that, but before she could two figures, faces obscured by black masks hopped out of the van, grabbed the boy, loaded him into the vehicle and drove off. All accomplished with remarkable speed and precision.

Lynn's brain simply couldn't process just how quickly this very strange occurrence had progressed.

"H-hey!" She roared at the vehicle that was now rapidly disappearing into the distance. "Bring back my brother you little—"

"RAAAAAAAARG!"

And for the second time that day, Lynn Loud was interrupted as a busty giantess drop kicked her in the back of the head.


	21. Chapter 21

Lincon's eyes shot open as Consciousness finally won its battle against Pain. It's job complete, Consciousness handed the keys back to Pain and told him to lock up when he was done.

"Aaaaaaarg!" He screamed, spasming in agony.

"Lincoln!" The pale haired boy's screaming was abruptly cut short as a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lincoln's aching body immediately relaxed as a familiar softness enveloped his face, suggesting he'd developed some sort of Pavlovian response. Interesting, but probably not worth dwelling upon at the moment. Based on the size and degree of softness, he could immediately rule out Leni or Lynn as the culprit, those two representing the extreme ends of the scale. Lori was also definitely out, and after her most recent adventure, so was Luan. That could only leave...

"Luna!" Lincoln gasped as he managed to surface for air, catching a brief glimpse of his music loving sister's tear-stained face before he was pulled into an even tighter embrace. This was an entirely different kind of pain, but at least he could appreciate that it came from a better place.

"I'm here too." Sam's voice called out. Once again, Lincoln managed to squirm his way free, or at least, free enough to get a look at his surroundings. He and Luna appeared to be situated in the back of a van, and towards the front he could see the familiar cyan-tinged, blonde head of his sister's girlfriend, waving to them from the driver's seat.

"But don't stop on my account, Linc." The blonde continued. "Luna was _super_ worried about you, so make sure you show her your appreciation. Take her in your arms, look deeply into her eyes, then take your hand and firmly grasp her—"

_Lincoln! It's about time you woke up! We need to go back, there's not much—_

_"_ Aaaaaaah!"

Seven's interjection was interrupted as Luna and Sam began screaming in harmony, the end result surprisingly melodic. So shocked was Sam that she slammed on the breaks, causing the van to swerve wildly—

"Aaaaaaaah!" —And now all of them were screaming. It was going to be one of those days. Well, moreso than it already had been.

* * *

"So that's the thing that's talking in our heads?" Luna asked, frowning as she poked at the metallic band wrapped around Lincoln's wrist. The trio were sitting in the back of the van together. Things had gotten a little harrowing during Sam's brief loss of control, but fortunately the citizens of Royal Woods had gotten very good at making themselves scarce when giant women started brawling. The end result left the area around the park looking like a veritable ghost town, and she'd been able to right the vehicle without any serious damage being suffered. Though, someone would have to explain the scratched paint job to Chunk...

_That is correct, Ms. Luna. My name is Seven, and I am Lincoln's combat advisor. It is a pleasure to finally meet you._

"Uh, yeah." Luna mumbled, still weirded out. "Rockin."

"And that girl back there tearing up the park, that was _Lynn_?" Sam asked, insistently, an odd gleam in her eyes.

 _Yes._ Seven affirmed. _Circumstances dictated that Ms. Lynn take up the fight today. But more importantly—_

"Wow." Sam mused, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "So Lincoln has magic makeout powers."

_I...suppose that's correct, broadly speaking. But it's imperative that—_

"Luna!" Sam turned to her girlfriend, an eager grin on her face. "Would you mind if I—"

"No." The rocker replied flatly, putting one arm around Lincoln and pulling him closer to her.

"But Luuuunes." Sam whined. "I just wanna—"

"No."

"But I'd use my powers benevolently, and—"

"You _absolutely_ would not." Luna corrected her.

"No, I wouldn't." Sam immediately conceded. "I'd crush my enemies underfoot and rule with an iron fist. But when you think about it—"

 _Lincoln!_ Seven interjected, sounding exasperated. _We don't have time for this! We need to go back to the park immediately!_

"What? No way." Luna hugged Lincoln protectively. "That place was a warzone! Lincoln fell like, a million feet from the air—"

_I'd approximate it was two, possibly three hundred at most. And fortunately, Lincoln seems to have developed some degree of super human durability. I'm curious if this is another side effect of exposure to gionic energy, or if it's simply because of all the bone-crushing hugs you people subject him to on a regular basis..._

"The point is, we're not taking Lincoln back there!" Luna growled, tightening her grip on the boy. "Besides, Lynn seemed like she was doing alright..."

"Aside from all the times when she was literally getting pounded into the ground." Sam pointed out.

"She was just getting her bearings." Luna waved dismissively. "Say what you will about Lynn Loud, the girl's a scrapper. Give her enough time and she'll take that bimbo down, no problem."

There was a pregnant pause. "Right?" Luna asked, her voice quivering ever so slightly.

 _Possibly_. Seven conceded. _But time is exactly the issue here! Also proximity, but mostly time!_

"You, uh, you might need to elaborate a bit, Seven." Lincoln said, prompting the device to continue.

 _Organics._ Seven grumbled. _In order to maintain their transformation, the Gigant needs a constant connection with their power source. Normally, this is accomplished by simply wearing the source, but your unique circumstances prevent that from being an option. Fortunately, it turned out that I was still able to maintain the transformation by simply staying near the Gigant—_

 _"_ You didn't know that would work?" Lincoln asked, looking slightly green.

 _Nothing about our present circumstances allow for even a semblance of the manner in which I was intended to be operated._ Seven admitted. _We've been forced to test the limits of my capabilities via fairly extreme experimentation, and we've been very lucky thus far. But more relevant to the matter at hand is that your abduction, well-meant as it was, has placed me far beyond my operation range._

Lincoln, Luna, and Sam exchanged nervous glances.

"What...what does that mean?" Luna asked, anxiously.

_What happens when a device connected to one of your wi-fi networks leaves the affected area?_

_"_ It...disconnects." Lincoln supplied, his eyes widening in horror as the gravity of the situation sunk in.

* * *

Lynn grunted in pain as blocked another of the mysterious woman's attacks, taking the full force of the blow on her crossed forearms. Being huge was _awesome_ , but it did have its drawbacks. Lynn was lean and petite, and she normally advantage of that to outmaneuver her opponent and strike hard when their guard was down, that strategy had server her well in any number of karate tournaments. Now, there was a lot more of her, she was a lot more...uh, dense, that was the word. Which, as Lisa had explained to her, _didn't_ mean "stupid", it meant something was thick, or solid. Which explained why she couldn't move around as freely as she was used to.

The other woman snarled, raising her fists in preparation for a two-handed hammer blow, presumably intending to shatter what was left of Lynn's guard with one powerful strike. Unfortunately for her, this left her wide open.

Capitalizing on her opponent's moment of weakness, Lynn lashed out with an uppercut and grinned as her fist connected with the woman's chin with a meaty _THWACK_ , the force of the punch sending the woman flying up unto the air, and then crashing into the ground a short distance away. Lynn flexed her arm, and gave her knuckles a quick kiss. She may not be as fast as she was used to, but she was a hell of a lot _stronger_.

"Give me the _boy_." The woman hissed as she staggered to her feet.

"Never!" Lynn spat, settling into a combat stance. "What do you even want with him?"

"He has something inside him that I need." The woman replied, as she began to circle around Lynn, cautiously.

"Wait...what?" Lynn blanched, momentarily surprised. Fortunately, she quickly regained her composure and matched pace with her opponent, refusing to allow her to close the distance between them so easily.

"There's a..." The woman fumbled, seemingly searching for the proper words to explain herself. "...a purity inside him. I need it."

Lynn prickled at the woman's words. "You need his _purity?"_ She asked, her voice dangerously low.

 _"_ Yes." The woman nodded. "There is a purity inside the boy, and my needs cannot be sated without it. So I intend to take it from him."

Lynn was now quivering with barely repressed fury. "The _hell you will!_ " She roared. At her shout, an enormous red energy aura literally exploding into being around her. After a few seconds it subsided ever so slightly, flowing and crackling around her body like flame, gently tickling the scorched grass against her feet.

"Round two!" Lynn snarled, leaping at her opponent.

* * *

Leni Loud hemmed thoughtfully as she held another bikini up against her body, turning her body to and fro in front of a full length mirror, trying to envision how she'd look wearing it. Lori had given it her ringing endorsement, as she had with the other twelve Leni had asked her opinion on. Several of which she'd enjoyed so much that she'd dragged Leni into a private dressing room, and proceeded to _loudly_ and _emphatically_ voice her approval. But she was more worried what Linky might think. Maybe she could try it on and send him a picture...

Just then Leni experienced a full body shiver, one so violent that even after it ended, her teeth were still chattering, loudly and painfully.

"Everything okay, Leni?" Lori asked, poking her head over a rack of clothing, a look of concern upon her face.

"I...I think I'm fine, Lori." Leni said, hesitantly. "But I feel like I should buy Lynn a present."

She shivered again, albeit much less intensely this time. "Or maybe like, five presents. Just to be safe."

* * *

Lynn roared wordlessly as she charged her opponent, her anger lending her a grace that she'd previously lacked. In a flash, she closed the distance between them and smashed her smoldering fist in the woman's face. Then, as she was still reeling from the unexpected blow, Lynn dashed around her, grabbed the back of the woman's head and proceeded to slam her into the ground, face first. Not immediately encountering any resistance, she she repeated this a few times dragging the dazed woman up _just_ enough, only to slam her back into the ground again.

"My little brother is the cutest, sweetest guy in the world!" She snarled, at last dragging the now dazed woman upright and releasing her grip, only to begin laying into her anew. "And if you think for even a _second_ that I'm gonna let a balloon breasted bimbo like you steal his purity, you've got another thing coming!"

_beep...beep..._

Jab, kidney punch and now that she was doubled over in pain, a short hop backwards to get some distance, followed by an axe kick to the woman's dreadfully exposed face. "It's bad enough that I have to deal with that crap at home!"

_beep...beep...beep..._

"I...I think we might be talking about different things..." The woman slurred thickly as she tried to struggle back to her feet un legs most unsteady. "I just want to suck the purity from his body—"

"Shut up and die!" Lynn screamed. At this her right fist, already clenched so tightly that it visibly shook with the fury coursing through her, errupted into flames. The fires coalescing around her hand, causing her no discomfort even though the heat they gave off visibly distorted the surrounding air.

_beep...beep...beep...beep..._

"RAAAAAARGH!" Lynn roared, as she dashed forward with blinding speed and drove her burning fist deep into the woman's gut. The impact so sudden that, for a moment, the woman simply hung there, speared upon Lynn Loud's flaming fist of vengeance. Then, the fire so tightly coiled around Lynn's hand exploded. Lynn winced at the rush of hot air that blew back her way, a consequence of being so close to the explosion, but smirked in satisfaction as she saw the woman's smoldering body slam into the ground with enough force to dent the ground beneath her. Her body cradled by a very deep, annoyingly curvaceous crater.

"Take that, you dirty brother stealer." She spat, gingerly touching her hand, the only moments before had been burning with an intensity to rival that of her loins. And speaking of her loins...

"Lincoln!" She gasped, glancing around as suddenly remembering her little brother's abduction. "Shoot! I've gotta save him! I've gotta—"

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...

"Find out what the heck is that beeping!" She shouted, exasperated. It was only then that she noticed that for each beep, her costume would respond by lighting up.

BEEP...BEEP

"Wait...am I beeping?" Lynn asked, puzzled. "Why am I beeping?"

BEEP...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...

The world around Lynn exploded into blinding red light. Fortunately, it was over as quickly as it started, and her vision soon returned to her.

Several things quickly made themselves apparent to the still disoriented athlete. The first was that she was feeling tired. Very, very tired. The second was that her outfit had reverted to her standard jersey and shorts combo. And the third, was that what remained of the park around her, was looking distressingly...normal sized.

Lynn yelped as the ground began to quake. Even though she desperately wanted to preserve her comforting ignorance, she craned her neck upward, quickly confirming her suspicions. There stood the woman. So much larger, and scarier than she'd been only moments before. She raised one foot in the air, a look of sadistic delight on her face, and sent it crashing towards the ground, directly at Lynn.

"...Dangit." Lynn grumbled, as the world's biggest foot rocketed towards her.

* * *

 _Confirmation._ Seven intoned. _My supply of gionic energy has been replenished. Which can only mean..._

"That Lynn's in trouble." Lincoln finished for him. He turned to Sam and Luna, his face as pale as his hair. "You guys need to take me back there. _Now_!"

Sam looked like she wanted to agree, but she looked to Luna, who shook her head emphatically. "No way bro!"

"You have to!" Lincoln protested. "Lynn needs me!"

"Lynn wouldn't want you to put yourself in danger!" Luna retorted. She paused, and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Bro, you saw how crazy it was back there, right? What exactly are you expecting to do?"

"I just have to find Lynn!" He insisted. "Then I can charge her back up, and she can finish the fight!"

"And what if you can't!" Luna asked. "What if that crazy giant lady finds you first? What if...what...if"

Luna shuddered, receding within herself, suddenly looking haggard beyond her years. "What if it's already too late?" She rasped. "What if it's...my fault."

"It's not, Lunes." Lincoln shimmied over and pulled Luna close. "You didn't know. And...I guess that's my fault, I've been keeping this stuff from you guys. I thought for your own good."

"You...uh, didn't do a very good job of it." Sam pointed out, tittering nervously. "Apparently Leni knows. And Lori. And Luan. And...now...Lynn..." She flinched as both siblings glared at her.

"I'm gonna shut up now." Sam scooted away to put some distance between her and the Louds. "You guys just have your private moment. Take all the time you need."

"R-right." Lincoln coughed nervously, and looked back to Luna, not quite sure where to begin, now that the mood had been interrupted.

"It's not entirely your fault, lil bro." Luna muttered, turning away as her cheeks reddened. "It's not like I've been around much lately..."

"You were spending time with Sam." Said Lincoln, giving Luna a conciliatory pat on the back. "And why wouldn't you, she's great?"

"Yes! She is!" The blonde called out from the far corner of the van. Neither sibling acknowledged this.

"Luna, we can't waste time dwelling on the mistakes we've made." Lincoln continued. "It's not just Lynn who's in danger here! If we don't stop that girl here, the entire city will be at her mercy! We need to go back and stop this, here and now!"

"Luna, please." He pleaded, seeing that she still looked doubtful. "Lynn's all alone over there. She needs me. She needs us."

 _Sorry to_ _interrupt._ Seven interjected. _I normally try to keep to myself when you're being intimate with your sisters—_

"What, _what_?" Luna asked, blinking in surprise.

"What he's being _what_ with his _what?"_ Sam called out.

 _—But I believe another solution has presented itself to_ us.

"And that is...?" Lincoln glanced warily at the device, already suspecting he knew the answer.

_As I said, my energy supply is restored. And we now have two suitable candidates..._

Sam gasped in delight.

 _Sorry, one suitable candidate._ Seven corrected himself.

"Aw nuts." Sam grumbled, pouting in her corner.

"Seven...n-no." Lincoln stammered. "I can't do that with Luna!"

"Why...why not, Linc?" :una asked, hesitantly.

"Because you've got a girlfriend, obviously! And—"

"Permission granted!" Lincoln squeaked in surprise as Sam was suddenly right in his face, grinning happily. "Go for it little dude!"

"I...I don't..." Lincoln gulped nervously. "L-Luna?"

"It's okay, little bro." Luna said softly, her face reddening as she spoke. "I've been running away from a lot of things lately. But I'm not going to run away anymore." She raised one shaking hand, and wrapped it around Lincoln, pulling him close.

"I'm not running away anymore." She repeated, lowering her face towards Lincoln's.

"L-luna..." He murmured, as he felt his face gravitate towards his older sister's. Her cute, freckled face. Her sultry, lidded eyes. Her pink, delicate, lips...

"Ahem." Sam coughed, startling both siblings. "I hate to kill the mood." She cleared her throat. "Believe me, I _really_ hate to put a stop to this, but..."

"But _what?_ Luna growled, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

"...Don't you guys think you should do this...outside?"

* * *

Lynn yelped as she leapt into the air, narrowly avoiding being crushed. Again. She and the giant lady had been at this for a good while now, with Lynn just barely managing to avoid the gigantic foot each time.

"Stand still, insect!" The woman roared, slamming her foot again, and growling in frustration when she was once again thwarted.

Lynn had thought she was done for when she'd lost her size. But, much to her delight, it turned out she was still strong. _Really_ strong, if she jumps she was pulling off were any indication, it was like bouncing off a trampoline.

" _If I live through this, Lori is so screwed when we have our rematch_!" She crowed internally as she again managed to avoid being smushed by the oversized appendage. That was a pretty big "if", however. She was already winded from the fight, and while her elation at discovering her new physicality had brought some much needed wind into her sails ("Gonna get my FLIBBR" for sure!" She'd cackled to herself.), that reprise had been fleeting. Her limbs, super human or not, still burned with fatigue, and every escape was more narrow than the previous one. It was only a matter of time before she just didn't have the energy to leap out of the way anymore—

"I'VE GOT YOU!" The giantess cackled. Lynn looked up, expecting to see the now familiar sight of high-heeled death looming over her, and saw...nothing. Well, nothing aside from a truly eye-popping view down the giant woman's dress. Which should have been impossible from her current vantage, unless the woman was...leaning over...

Lynn's preoccupation with keeping an eye on the sky had kept her from seeing the giant hand that was sweeping along the ground until it was too late. Her mind barely had time to register the wall of flesh thundering towards her before it crashed into her, knocking the wind out of Lynn and sending her flying. Her flight was short lived, however, as she found herself slamming into a concrete wall, remarkably still standing in spite of the battle that had taken place only minutes before.

Lynn groaned in pain as she slid back towards the ground, gravity finally taking its toll on her. She was done. Everything hurt too much, she could barely move her arms, let alone fight something that was more than ten-times her size. She could feel the ground quaking beneath her, and knew it was only a matter of time...

Lynn struggled to lift her head, and did her best to glare defiantly at the giantess, who was carelessly stomping her way toward her, an eager grin upon the woman's face.

"I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THIS..." The woman chuckled. "BUT YOU HAVE MADE MY MISSION SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT NEEDED TO BE. SO I THINK, I WILL ALLOW MYSELF JUST THIS ONE INDULGENCE."

Lynn flinched as the woman raised her foot into the air, one last time, but stayed resolute, her head held high. Determined to stare her impending demise in the face...or at least, in the foot, for as long as possible. She could at least grant herself that small victory.

" _No, not just that._ " She thought to herself. " _Lincoln's still out there. He'll think of something. I hope. I bought him as much time as I could..._ "

And then there was no more time for self reflection. The crushing weight of the giant woman's foot roared downward, looking for all the world like an asteroid crashing to earth...

_WHAM_ _!_

...and then, just like that, it was gone. Lynn sat there, mouth agape, as a giant fist flew in from the side and crashed into the enormous woman, knocking her off balance and sending her careening away from Lynn. The sports star, still shaking, slowly craned her head to the side, and took in the majesty of the newest arrival. Another giantess, clad in the same outfit she herself had been wearing not too long ago, this time colored purple.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY LITTLE SISTER!" Luna Loud roared, raising her fists and charging at the now downed woman.

* * *

"Wow." Sam murmured from the driver's seat of the van. She'd had the pleasure of getting to ride in the vehicle as it was carried by her now super sized girlfriend, who'd then placed it a safe distance away from the battlefield, and then charged in to save her little sister. IT...stirred things within her.

"Yeah." Lincoln nodded in agreement. "It never stops being amazing to watch them fight."

"Amazing." Sam repeated, licking her lips "That's certainly one word you could use..."

"So, Linc..." Sam reached out and wrapped her arm around the younger boy's shoulder. "Level with me. How was it?"

"How was what?"

"Don't play dumb." She giggled, leaning over so that her head was touching his. "What was it like kissing Luna?"

"O-oh." Lincoln's face turned beet red, it was utterly adorable. "I...uh..."

"It's okay, little dude. You can tell me." She reassured him. "I just wanna know what you thought. You know, compare experiences and whatnot."

"Why?" He asked, perplexed.

"For fun." Sam shrugged. "We've got a few minutes to kill anyway. Luna's gotta drive that girl away so we can get in and rescue Lynn. So why not talk about my favorite subject?"

"Well..." She tightened her grip and pulled the boy a little closer. " _One_ of my favorite subjects, anyway."

Lincoln cleared his throat, embarrassed. "It was...nice."

"Just, nice?" Sam teased, causing Lincoln to redden even more.

"It was...really nice." He conceded, chuckling softly.

"I'll bet." Sam purred. "I _heard_ the noises she was making. Did you find that spot on her. Neck?"

"O-oh." Lincoln stammered. "You mean on her neck?"

"Yeah, just under that line of freckles. It's like a cheat sheet, makes her purr like a kitten. Now, if you _really_ want to rev her motor, what you've gotta do is—"

 _Pardon._ Seven interrupted. _Just for the sake of clarification. Should I offer Ms. Sam the same privacy I afford your other sisters when you're with them?_

"N—" Lincoln began before Sam clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Yes, Seven." She cooed softly. "Treat me just like I'm one of Lincoln's sisters. _Exactly_ like his sisters."

 _Very well, my Sister Protocols have been updated to recognize Sam Sharp as one of your sisters,_ Lincoln.

"Excellent." The blonde replied happily as she finally released the boy, who immediately began sucking in huge lungfuls of air. Apparently she might have been holding onto him just a _little_ too hard.

"A...about that." Lincoln gasped, still trying to catch his breath. "I think I have an idea, Seven."

_Oh?_

"Oh?" Sam echoed, tilting her head to the side.

"You've said in the past, that the reason we can't make multiple Gigants at the same time, is because you have a finite amount of energy, right?" Lincoln asked, addressing the device.

 _Correct._ Seven affirmed. _It takes a very specific amount of gionic energy to induce and maintain the transformation, and I can only produce enough charge to transform a single being._

"But _I_ was the one who made Luan grow, right?"

_Correct, botched though the job may have been. Our partnership has had the unintended side-effect of turning you into a source of gionic energy._

"An _independent_ source." Lincoln stressed.

 _Meaning what, exactly_?

"Meaning..." Lincoln took a deep breath. "That, hypothetically speaking...we have a second source of energy. One that could be used to produce a _second_ Gigant...right?"

There was a pause as Seven processed this.

 _Yes._ He answered at last. _In theory, at least. You were able to change Ms. Luan, and you were able to induce change in Ms. Leni_ _during our training sessions. So it is possible you that you might be able to induce and maintain a second, wholly independent transformation. But I would caution you that—_

"Hush, Seven!" Sam interrupted, pulling Lincoln tightly against her. She began to tousle his hair, delighting in the way her ministrations caused the boy to shiver. She pulled him tightly against her chest, so that he was forced to peer up through her _very_ respectable sized breasts to look at her.

"I want to hear your plan, Linky." She purred, leaning down so that her face was almost touching his. "You have my utmost attention.

She giggled, trailing her fingers down his cheek. "Among other things..."


	22. Chapter 22

Luna winced in pain as another car-sized fist smashed into her midsection, but otherwise remained unmoved. Luna wasn't a violent person by nature (unless one messed with her family or her girlfriend), nor did she have Lynn's aptitude for, or inclinations towards fighting. But, she did know how to take care of herself. Some of the concerts she went to on a regular basis could get pretty rough, and being able to deliver a well placed headbutt to an overzealous mosh pit-er could make or break the experience. Speaking of which...

_WHAM!_

Luna couldn't help but smirk a little at the very satisfying _crunch_ that resounded when she slammed her forehead into her opponent's face. Seeing the way the older woman stumbled back, clutching her nose in obvious pain, it got Luna's blood pumping. She licked her lips as she shuffled forward, ready to capitalize on her advantage—

"Sam Kick!"

And promptly halted in place as a large blur flashed by Luna and crashed into her still reeling foe, knocking her to the ground with a thunderous crash. Luna suffered a brief moment of existential dread, having been denied the opportunity to revenge herself upon the woman who had so terrorized her siblings...but quickly got over it as she took in the scene before her.

Sam Sharp, standing tall, literally larger than life. Her usual jacket and jeans combo now replaced with cyan, form-fitting spandex which left very little to the imagination. As Luna took in the sight of her girlfriend, standing above her fallen foe, her beautiful blonde hair dramatically flowing in the breeze, looking for all the world like some sort of Nordic goddess, Luna felt her blood begin pumping one more, though now for an entirely different reason...

"Get yer mitts off my girl"! Sam growled as she hoisted the still dazed woman back to her feet. Sam took a deep breath, presumably preparing some kind of snappy one-liner, of a cutting jibe of some kind, and—

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

—Proceeded to...breathe all over the woman's face. Completely ineffectually. Luna let out a very disappointed sigh as she felt her lady-boner shrinking into oblivion. Silence fell upon the battlefield, as three very confused giant woman simply stood there, staring at each other, waiting for something about this scenario to finally make sense.

"Sam?" Luna asked at last, stepping forward and delivering a very unenthusiastic punch to the yellow-clad woman's face. "How are you here, and what the hell was that?"

Sam slid behind the woman and pinned her arms behind her back, rendering her helpless. "I wanted to surprise you by destroying your enemy with my atomic breath." She said, pouting.

"Atomic what?" Luna balled up her fists and began laying into the now helpless woman, who was now looking like the world's sexiest punching bag.

"Atomic Breath!" Sam repeated in annoyed, as if that meant something. "Work the body, babe."

Luna only grunted in response, but complied, shifting her focus to the woman's lower body. She was starting to see why Lynn was so into this kind of thing, it did wonders for working out your frustrations.

"Remember that movie we saw with Lincoln? The one with the giant monsters? One of them shot fire-laser things from its mouth."

Luna briefly paused her workout to level a confused look at the blonde. "And you just assumed you could do that too?"

"I mean..." Sam shrugged, noncommittally. "I'm a giant monster now. It seemed to track at the time."

"Speaking of which—" Luna began...

"That's _kaiju_!" Squeaked a tiny voice. A very familiar voice. And it sounded like it was coming from...

Suddenly having lost all interest in the fight, Luna lifted the braised and contused woman from Sam's grasp, and unceremoniously flung her to the side, not even bothering to look to see where she'd landed. She looked her annoyed girlfriend up and down, seeking the source of the voice...

" _Kaiju_." Repeated the tiny voice. "You're _toku_. Totally different genre, I think. I'm still kinda new at this too."

And there it was. Nestled in the valley of Sam's exposed cleavage lay her little brother, looking rather comfortable, reclining in the pocket of her girlfriend's ample breasts.

"Hey Luna." Lincoln waved to her, and Luna found herself absentmindedly returning the gesture. She felt herself feeling oddly envious, but whether that envy was for her brother or Sam, even Luna couldn't say.

"See something you like, Lunes?" Sam teased, cupping her breasts in her hands and hoisting them up closer towards Luna's face. Luna found herself silently nodding in appreciation. The few was _extremely_ nice.

In the heat of battle it had been easy to lose perspective of just how unreal the situation had become. Brawling with the other woman had forced Luna to narrow her scope to the battle at hand, the pair of them trampling through a, by now, more or less thoroughly flattened and empty park, nothing especially obstructive or intrusive to bother them. Seeing her little brother so casually sitting atop her girlfriend's womanly peaks, as though they were some kind of novelty furniture, really brought home the enormity of the situation. No pun intended.

Luna shivered as she felt Sam's arms encircle her, pulling her close.

"What ya thinkin', Lunes?" Sam purred, tracing her fingers down Luna's flank. The Loudest Loud shivered, suddenly very aware of just how thin these goofy looking jumpsuits they were wearing really were. It was almost as if they were wearing nothing at all...

"Sam! Be careful!" She heard Lincoln cry out. Looking down, Luna could see her little brother had fallen forward, now straddling the impromptu bridge formed where her own breasts smushed against Sams. As she stared at the small boy, squirming atop the joined maidenflesh, she found herself thinking that this particular situation was...kind of unreasonably hot...

"You're thinking this is kind of unreasonably hot." Sam murmured into Luna's ear, causing the rocker to flinch. Stupid mind reading girlfriends!

The trio were pulled from their moment of intimacy as a loud, hagard groan resounded from behind them. Luna turned, seeing the woman in yellow, once again struggling to her feet.

"Give...me...boy..." She hissed, defiant, even though the very act of standing was clearly taking its toll on her.

"Oh, yeah." Said Sam. "I guess we should probably take care of her, huh?"

* * *

"So, uh, how exactly do we go about finishing this?" Luna asked. "We've been wailing on this girl for a while now, but she doesn't stay down."

"You've gotta beat her with your finishing move." Lincoln called out, having resumed his original position on Sam, and no longer in danger of being smothered by bliss. Luna found herself feeling oddly disappointed by that. Wait, was he starting to sink again? Maybe she should reach down and—

"Like my atomic breath?" Sam asked excitedly, unknowingly pulling Luna from her fugue. Right, focus on the task at hand. First save the day, _then_ maybe see about exploring these strange new urges that were now compounding her already unwholesome feelings for her little brother...

"You don't have atomic breath, Sam." Lincoln chastised the older girl. "Least, I'm pretty sure you don't."

"Phooey." Sam scuffed her foot in annoyance, carving out a rather large hole in the ground as she did so. "Then what do we have?"

"Well...Leni just kinda punches stuff, usually."

"Oh?" Sam inquired, now interested. "Like some kind of Leni Punch?" Luna started in surprise as Sam's fist briefly crackled with cyan colored energy.

"More or less. But there's also this other thing we can try. But, uh..." Lincoln coughed, reddening slightly. "I think I need to be...touching...you, to make it happen."

"More than you're already touching me?" Sam smirked, and jiggled her breasts for emphasis.

"Um. Actually, this is kind of...exactly how much I need to be touching you. I think." Wait, what?

"H-hey Sam." Luna asked, trying to keep her voice level as she slowly reached for Lincoln. "Maybe I should be the one to—"

Luna yelped as Sam slapped her hand away. "You had your chance." The blonde chastised her, before turning back to Lincoln.

"Alright Linky." She cooed, winking at him suggestively. "Let me have it. Just be gentle."

"R-right." Lincoln nodded and closed his eyes, placing his palms atop Sam's breasts. "G-give me a second..."

The seconds stretched on with nothing happening. Luna briefly turned her attention away from what was suddenly the least interesting attempt at getting to second base she'd ever seen, so she could check on their enemy.

"Small...booooooy..." The woman rasped, still very slowly trudging towards the three of them. At this rate, she _might_ manage to close the distance in twenty, thirty minutes. Luna was almost starting to feel bad for her at this point. _Almost_

_ZAP!_

A brief flash of light, and a loud crackling noise were enough to command Luna's attention once more. She turned to see that her girlfriend was now effused in a corona of bright energy.

"Woah!" Sam cried out, as the air around her began to crackle with power so palpable that it could be felt just as easily as it could be seen. "This feels awesome! But what do I do now?"

"Well..." Lincoln called out, barely audible over the constant crackling and popping that now filled the air, "Leni just kind of shot it. Like a laser? So maybe you could just..."

"SAMDOUKEN!" The blonde cried out, cupping her hands together and thrusting them forward. Much to Luna's surprise, an enormous blast of energy erupted from her outstretched palms, and rocketed towards the woman in yellow. She barely had time to registed the woman's surprised expression before the blast collided with her and exploded, the world suddenly replaced by an endless sea of blinding white light. When the light faded, and the dust had settled, all that was left of the woman was a large, blackened scorch mark on the battle scarred ground.

"Bloody hell!" Luna cried out, shocked at how quickly that had turned. A glance at Lincoln showed that the pale haired boy appeared to be just as surprised.

"Woo hoo!" Sam whooped, pumping her fist in the air. "That was _awesome_! What can we blow up next?"

* * *

_Boop-Boop!_

Fiona winced as the television screen froze on the remains of the now destroyed minion. She tentatively turned her attention to Darkness, who sat at his desk, gently waggling the tv remote up and down. He didn't _look_ angry. But that provided little comfort. Darkness was an eldritch monstrosity who adopted the guise of a man when it suited him. He didn't _need_ to look like anything...

_"I'm not angry." He said, calmly. Which was promising, but not any kind of guarantee. Darkness was never above lying, especially if it brought him amusement. Or vindication. Or if it was a day that ended in "Y"..._

"Really?" Maggie asked. "Because I could totally see how an outsider looking in might think this was our fault. But mostly Fiona's."

Fiona rounded on the girl, snarling, but froze in place as Darkness held up one hand. Please, no more paperwork...

_"No, I'm not." He affirmed, slowly putting his hand back down. **"You did the job you were asked to do. After a fashion. I can't blame you for what was clearly RD's fault. Apparently there's still a few bugs to be worked out in the new minions behavior routines"**_

"That's uncharacteristically generous of you." Fiona point out, still suspicious.

Darkness shrugged. **_"You managed to obtain some valuable data_ and _cause a little chaos in the process. That's a success, even by the incredibly unfair standards I gleefully hold you to, Fiona."_**

That...wasnt the most insulting complement she'd ever gotten. Today.

 _ **"Besides."**_ Darkness snapped his fingers, causing Fiona to flinch out of habit. **_"We have spares."_**

True to form, the office door opened and three identical Thicc QTs quickly filed into the room.

"Small Boy!" They squawked in unison, eliciting a sigh from the brunette.

"Seems like these have the exact same problems as the last one, boss." Fiona pointed out unenthused.

**_"Of course, they're from the same production batch. We should have that sorted out when we roll out Thicc QT 2.0."_ **

"Then why keep them around?" Fiona asked.

**_"I'm not. Which is the main reason why you two are being let off the hook."_ **

"Of course." Fiona grumbled. She knew the other shoe was going to drop eventually.

"I don't follow." Maggie opined.

 ** _"I'll explain."_** Darkness reached into his desk and pulled out a pile of documents, sliding them over towards the girls. Fiona reached over and snagged the top one, not feeling especially interested until she saw the bold lettering at the top.

"A summons?" She asked, genuinely shocked. "You're being sued?"

Darkness shrugged. **_"I rather liked the idea of constructing a minion based upon my previous host. I thought that design would lend itself well to combat applications, which it clearly did. After a fashion."_**

"She got exploded." Maggie pipped up.

 ** _"Quite."_ **Darkness nodded. **_"We'll have to work on that. The problem is that..."_** He gestured towards the now paused news broadcast they had just been watching **_"Said host, one 'Quinlan Timber', seems to have caught wind of today's festivities, and is now suing the company for the unauthorized use of her likeness."_**

"How the heck did she know it was us?" Fiona's face scrunched up in confusion.

_Boop. Be-Boop_

The scene on the television immediately began to reverse itself, running backwards through the fight. Darkness halted the feed around a point where the new cyan-clad giantess had slipped around QT and flipped up her skirt, resulting in a panty shot of the minion's prodigious derriere that would no doubt be making its rounds across the internet for years to come. Fiona'd had a good chuckle the first time she'd seen it, taking no small amount of amusement in the rebellious minion's embarassment, but now, frozen as it was, she could see that there was writing on the constructs panties.

"Darkness Inc." It read. "Where Evil...Is!"

"That's a terrible slogan." Maggie opined.

**_"We're still workshopping it."_ **

"That's a terrible place to _put_ a terrible slogan." Fiona added.

Darkness shrugged. **_"Agree to disagree, it tested rather well with focus_ groups. _"_**

"Whatever." Fiona rolled her eyes. "So you're...what, trying to get rid of the evidence until this thing blows over?"

"That sounds dishonest." Said Maggie.

 ** _"Which is exactly why we're doing it."_** Darkness clapped his hands in delight. **_"Two misdeeds for the price of one."_**

"So, what?" Fiona drawled, feeling more at ease now that she knew she wasn't getting exploded today. "You gonna send the bombshells on a vacation."

 ** _"Something like that."_** Darkness pressed a button on his remote, and the news feed was replaced with what appeared to be a map of Michigan, albeit a fairly barebones one. Royal Woods was clearly marked, but the only other making was an unlabeled glowing spot some distance away.

**_"The boys in the recently reconstructed and restaffed R &D department have been picking up some very interesting readings from the neighboring city, as of late. Since the QTs need to disappear for a while, I thought this might be a good time to have them investigate._ ** **"**

"Do you really trust them to operate on their own?" Fiona arched one eyebrow, surprised.

**_"Of course not. That's where you two come in, you'll be overseeing the mission remotely by staying in constant radio contact with our agents. Naturally, you'll be fully responsible for their failures._ **

"Hurray?" Maggie asked, looking to Fiona, who emphatically shook her head.

Fiona sighed, sitting back up in her seat. "Fine. It's not like we have a choice. Besides, it'll be nice to not have to worry about those Loud kids for once. Especially Leni." Fiona involuntarily twitched as her frienemy's name came out. "So where are they going, and what are they looking for?"

 ** _"No idea what the thing is."_** Darkness said. **_"But we know its powerful, and that's reason enough to go after it. As for the location, it appears to be in a place called..."_** He shuffled through another stack of documents. **_"Ah, yes. Great Lakes City."_**

* * *

Lynn's eyes fluttered open at the squeaking of bed springs awakened her from her slumber. The day's events had been...trying, to say the least. When she, Lincoln, Luna and Sam had staggered home far past curfew, they'd been greeted by an audience of angry sisters, and equally enraged parents. Being late, on top of having been out while another attack was going on and not phoning home to tell everyone they were okay had resulted in the four of them being in a lot of trouble, but what was she supposed to tell her parents? "No big mom and dad, Lincoln and I are fine. I'm actually some kind of giant superhero now, and I'm gonna go fight this under dressed monster lady now, see you guys for dinner!"

Even worse had been following that lambasting, which only ended when mom and dad had screamed themselves too hoarse to keep going. Lori, Leni, and Luan had dragged the four of them into Lincoln's room, and the screaming began anew, albeit slightly subdued to try and maintain at least some halfhearted attempt at secrecy. The trio hadn't been especially happy to find out that she, Luna, and Sam had joined their little superhero club. Even less so when Sam had declared herself to be Lincoln's new girlfriend. Things had taken a quick turn for the violent. Already tired and annoyed from the tongue lashing they'd already received, Lynn had kept to the edges of the fray, waiting for an opportunity. When an enraged Lori had smashed Lincoln's bed onto the younger blonde, shattering it into a million pieces, Lynn had deemed that suitably distracting, grabbing her little brother, and discretely fleeing the battle as quickly as she was able.

"Hey Luce!" She'd announced, slipping into their room with Lincoln hoisted over her head, quickly closing the door behind her. "Look what I got us!"

And so with a little prodding, Lincoln had grudgingly agreed to spend the night with his two favorite sisters. And the trio had drifted off to sleep, huddled together in mutual sibling bliss.

...until now, at least.

Careful so as to not draw attention to herself, Lynn cracked her eyes open the minimum amount she needed to see, and peered through the darkness, seeking the source of the disturbance. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the low light, but eventually, she was able to make out the faint form of...Lucy?

Night vision took over, and began to fill in the details she'd missed. Lucy was currently straddling their brother, seemingly deep in thought. She reached out with one tiny hand, and gently stroke the boy's cheek. Lincoln let out a pleased murmur as she did so, and a small smile worked its way onto the girl's face. Lynn thought the scene was strangely wholesome.

Lucy leaned down, lowering her face towards Lincoln's. Her pale lips beginning to spread apart as the distance between her and her brother closed. It almost looked like she was going to... _oh!_

Lynn felt her cheeks begin to redden. She wasn't sure if she should stop this or not. One the one hand, she was already sharing Lincoln with half a dozen other girls, and she wasn't especially keen on adding to that list. On the other...it was Lucy. Her best friend. If Lynn had been able to remove herself from the equation and pick a single sister to fix up with her little bro, Lucy would be at the top of the list, hands down. So, in that regard, at least, she was perfectly amicable with letting the younger girl take her due.

On the other hand...memories of all the things she'd learned that day began to bubble up from her subconscious. Lincoln telling her, embarrassed, exactly how he went about giving his sisters the power they needed to fight off the crazy giant ladies that kept attacking the city. Lynn's own experience, doubling as her first kiss with her little brother. Her surprise at awakening sometime later, finding a giant sized Sam and Luna arguing over possession of the small boy. This little ability of Lincoln's had thrown quite the wrench into their relatively idyllic suburban lives. And while she wasn't totally against the idea of Lucy joining their little group, the girl should know what she was getting into first, right? Especially since, as it had just occurred to Lynn, Lincoln's little power didn't do so well in tight, confined spaces...like the bedroom they currently resided in...

...yeah, that would be _really_ bad. Lynn opened her mouth to shout a warning to the younger girl, when suddenly...she stopped.

Lucy paused, hovering over Lincoln, only millimeters separating her lips from his. And then, much to Lynn's relief, Lucy pulled away. Lincoln's chastity, or at least, what remained of it, untarnished.

Lucy straightened up, and looked towards the far end of their bedroom. At the wall they never really used for anything. There wasn't anything wrong with it, really, but they had three other, perfectly good walls. That fourth wall just seemed unnecessary, for the most part.

"I thought about it." Lucy said to the air. "I thought I might go through with it. But...I think it might be best to wait, for now. Lincoln's life is complicated as it is, I think I can allow him a little courtesy for the moment. Give him some time to adjust."

Then, she smirked. "But I won't be able to wait forever. My time will come, sooner or later."

Her speech finished, Lucy contented herself with giving Lincoln a peck on the cheek. When she slid back under the covers, snuggled up alongside her brother, and drifted off to sleep.

Lynn was...confused, running the speech through her head as best she could remember it. Who had Lucy been talking to? And what had she been talking about? It's not like...she knew already, right?

Lynn shook her head, dismissing the troubling thoughts for the moment, as she nuzzled her face into Lincoln's neck. She'd had a long day, and this newest bout of weirdness was just making her head hurt. She'd think more on it tomorrow. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quinlan Timber is the name Whimfu1 gave Thicc QT in his story, Age Gap. I've always thought it was a cute idea to give her a name with the same initials, and I think its the only story I've ever seen where someone tried to do something interesting with her, so I threw in that little reference.


	23. Chapter 23

It was quiet. Wonderfully, gloriously, unequivocally quiet, which was a much needed change of pace for the sole male Loud. Lincoln's status quo had changed significantly in the previous week, and while this was generally a good thing...matters of evil space entities hell-bent on the destruction aside, it left the boy with very little time to himself. Even now he wasn't completely alone, he had already promised Lori that they'd spend time together, and Lincoln always tried to be a man of his word. Fortunately, Lori eldest sister that she was, had seemingly already read the situation, and had planned accordingly.

The pair sat together on Lincoln's bed, the pale haired boy reclining comfortably against his big sister a comic book in his hand and a smile on his face. There were no words spoken, no noises at all, save for the ambient sounds of the neighborhood wafting through the sunlight-laden window, and the occasional turning of pages. Lincoln had been bothered initially, the girls had tentatively settled on an arrangement wherein they would divvy up time to spend with Lincoln, and apportion specific periods for themselves on a week to week basis. This was supposed to be Lori's time, but upon her arrival the older girl had been very clear that the only thing she expected Lincoln to do was lay down and rest. And so he did, one didn't argue with Lori when she used _that_ tone of voice. For her part, the eldest Loud sibling seemed content with their current state. She had taken her place on the bed, pulled Lincoln close to her, and shoved a comic in his hands and bade him to read it. Lori made no attempts to elicit conversation from him, expressed no displeasure that his attention might be elsewhere. Rather, she seemed content to merely be in her brother's presence. Occasionally she'd playfully flick his turkey tail, plant a kiss on him, or nuzzle her face against him, but otherwise the older girl seemed happy to allow Lincoln to do his own thing. And for that, he was very grateful.

"You're looking a lot better, little brother." Lori observed, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm feeling a lot better." He replied, putting aside his comic and leaning more fully into Lori. "Thanks, by the way, I really needed some time. Sorry it came at the expense of your time."

"Don't you dare." She warned him, some of the sting taken out of her words by the playful squeeze she gave him. "Today, I just wanted to hang out a little. And that's exactly what we did. We'll do something next time."

"Next time." Lincoln agreed, tilting his head upward so he could look Lori in the eye. "Definitely next time."

Lori let out a small giggle, leaned down and planted a quick kiss on Lincoln's lips. Her eyes didn't leave his, as she pulled away.

"Those other girls working you hard, little bro?" Lincoln gulped, sense a slight edge to Lori's tone that hadn't been there previously.

"A bit." He admitted. "There was the thing with Luan..."

* * *

_BANG BANG BANG_

Lincoln awoke with a start, blinking furiously to shake the vestiges of sleep from his eyelids. He peered over at his alarm clock, squinting as he tried to make out the numbers. 6 am on a Saturday, and already someone was trying to kick his door down. Seemed pretty par for the course.

"Coming!" He shouted, sliding out of his bed, and making his way unsteadily across the darkened room.

_BANG BANG BANG_

"I said I was coming!" Finally reaching his destination, he steeled his nerves one last time, and yanked the door open.

"Lincoln! So happy you came for me." Luan. Of course. Fully dressed, looking fresh as a daisy, and sounding entirely too pleased for how early it was.

Lincoln violently shook his head, hoping to forcibly expel the remaining lethargy from his system. It didn't take, but at least he could see now, more or less.

"Hey, Luan." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He noticed that the comedienne was laden with dvds, bluerays, a couple of VHS tapes, and even what appeared to be a laser disc. "We doing a movie marathon, or something?"

"Something like that." Luan replied, shuffled her load around to free up one of her hands. "Got a fresh load of toku straight from Japan! After it was redirected to China, given low quality English subtitles, and unlawfully resold with none of the profit going to the owners, of course."

"Alright." Lincoln shrugged. "Sounds like fun. I was hoping to take it easy today anyway.

"Easy nothing!" Luan jabbed him in the stomach with her now free finger. "I heard all about that special move you helped Sam come up with, so now you're gonna do the same for me!"

"Fine, fine!" Lincoln grumbled, pushing her arm away with no small amount of effort. "Just let me take a shower, and I'll—"

"Nope!" Lincoln let out a short yelp as Luan grabbed him by the collar and began dragging him down the hallway. "We've got 80-some hours of material to go through, and I only have you booked for 12. So we don't have any time to spare!"

"Alright." Lincoln let out a sigh of resignation. So much for taking it easy.

"Oh, and one more thing." Suddenly, they stopped moving. Lincoln opened his mouth to ask what the holdup was, but before he could Luan hoisted him up off the ground with her free hand, then held him against her, taking special care to shove his face between her breasts.

"Sam said you were feeling her up while you guys did your thing." She leaned down and gave him a peck on the forehead. "So I expect the same treatment."

* * *

"You were half dead when you came down to dinner that night." Lori observed.

"Turns out Luan's very...uh, enthusiastic about the material."

"Hmm." Lori replied, pursing her lips in thought.

"A-anyway..." Lincoln replied hurriedly, "Then there was that other thing with Sam and Luna..."

* * *

Lincoln fidgeted in his stool as he anxiously looked over the drum kit before him. "Luna, I'm not sure I can do this."

The rocker paused her inspection of her own instrument and dashed over to the younger boy.

"Chill, little bro." She said, pulling him into a side hug. "We don't need you to play anything, this is just a photo op. All we need you to do is sit there and look awesome."

Luna touseled Lincoln's hair. Then, after a moment of hesitation, leaned over and kissed the pale haired boy on the cheek. "And if there's one thing I know you don't need any help with, it's looking awesome, bro."

"T-thanks, Lunes." Lincoln stammered, returning the gesture even as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "But that's not what I'm worried about. I'm mostly concerned about my—"

Lincoln was cut off as the ground beneath them began to wobble, causing both siblings to sway precariously.

"—balance." He finished with a nervous gulp, once they'd stabilized once more.

"I get ya." Luna grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"Sam!" She called out, tapping her foot on the ground. "This was your idea! So hurry up and hold her steady!"

"I'm trying!" The blonde called out as the ground wobbled again. "But I didn't count on how wacky the weight distribution would be!"

Lincoln sighed. In theory, Sam's vision of an album cover depicting him and Luna rocking out atop a van held aloft by the blonde girl herself, sounded pretty awesome. In practice, it was more scary than anything else, as one wrong move from Sam could easily result in his small, squishy body being buried under several tons of steel.

"Are you sure we couldn't just do this with Photoshop?" He asked for the umpteenth time. "Its not like anyone's going to know!"

"I'll know!" The blonde growled, planting her feet as she tried to balance her load. " _Samazon_ is the album that's gonna put our band on the map! And it deserves an authentic, and totally awesome album cover! Now both of you hold still already!"

"Yeah, uh...just one thing, love." Luna said, reaching out and dragging Lincoln's drum kit back towards the center of the roof.

"What is it now!?"

"Linc and I are up here, and you're stuck down there. So _who..."_ Luna said slowly and emphatically. "Is actually going to be taking this photo?"

"...Dangit."

* * *

"Tell me Sam didn't take Chunk's van. _Again_." Lori replied, dryly.

"Turns out it's a lot easier when she can literally just pick it up and walk away with it."

"Literally." Lori repeated, letting out an amused giggle.

"And that's nothing." Lincoln continued. "Then I had my day with Leni, and she wanted to—"

Lincoln's tale was interrupted as Lori forcibly spun him around. "Little bit of advice for you, now that you seem to be feeling better." She purred, leaning forward so that her face was only millimeters away from his own. "When you're spending time with a girl, try to limit how much time you spend talking about _other_ girls."

Taking the hint, Lincoln closed the distance between them and kissed Lori, the act of joining his lips to hers eliciting a delighted squeak from the older girl. Taking this as a good sign, Lincoln leaned more fully into the kiss, soon finding himself directly atop his now moaning sister. He broke away, just for a second to catch his breath, and noticed a pleased smirk on Lori's face.

"Well aren't you the bold one." Lori cooed happily.

Lincoln didn't take her meaning at first. Then he noticed that, at some point during their exchange of affection, his right hand had crept underneath Lori's shirt, seemingly of its own volition, and was currently wrapped around one of the busty blonde's glorious globes. The second thing he noticed was that Lori was very much not wearing a bra today, possibly in anticipation of this.

"Whoops." He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. "I guess Leni's got me pretty well trained."

"Oh?" Lori fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Come back down here, and maybe _I'll_ show you a few things."

_Lincoln! Much as I hate to interrupt your mating ritual, I would be remiss if I—  
_

"Not now, Seven." Both siblings growled in unison, before resuming their trajectory towards each other.

_But you seem to have forgotten that you—_

"Lincoln!" The siblings flinched as the voice of Rita Loud, specifically honed to command the attention of eleven unruly children, reverberated throughout the house. "You'd better be ready to go! It's a long drive to the city!"

_—have a prior engagement today._ Seven finished, somewhat unnecessarily.

"...Dangit." Muttered the fully revved up teen and her only slightly less disappointed brother.

* * *

"Sorry about that." Lincoln offered, embarrassed, as he scrambled to make himself look presentable. First straightening his polo, then dashing over to his mirror and trying his best to fix his now mussed up hair. "It kinda slipped my mind that we were on a shortened schedule today."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Lori shook her head in bemusement. "But it's fine, really. I knew you had plans for today, its my fault for getting carried away."

"I could have canceled. I could _still—"_

"Don't you dare!" Lori gently chided him. The older girl stepped behind Lincoln, slid her arms around him and gave him a quick hug. "Ronnie inviting you to come visit means that she misses you. And it's very rude to keep a girl waiting."

"I guess." Lincoln cleared his throat, and glanced sideways at Lori, nervously. "I-if you wanted to, you could always come _with_ —"

"Pass." Lori's flat refusal was immediate, and booked no room for discussion. "The last thing I want to do be around my ex while you're hanging out with _your_ —"

She paused, catching herself. "While you're off having fun with Ronnie."

Lori leaned down and gave Lincoln a quick peck on the cheek. "Just promise me you'll keep your whole... _deal_ under control this time." She warned. "Last thing I need is for you to come back from your little trip with _another_ girlfriend in tow."

"No need to worry about that." Lincoln replied. "Every attack so far has happened in Royal Woods, so I don't see any more, uh, emergency circumstances coming up."

"Besides." Lincoln let out a small laugh, one which was only _slightly_ self-deprecating. "Ronnie's already made it pretty clear that we weren't like that. There's zero reason why my lips should be anywhere near Ronnie Anne Santiago's."

* * *

"Ronnie! What kind of lipstick would Lincoln like better, strawberry kiwi, or watermelon lime?"

Ronnie Anne Santiago let out a quiet groan and slid further into her chair. "Watermelon lime." She grumbled, quickly glancing up at the jubilant, expectant face of Sid Chang, before turning her attention back to the skateboard magazine she was pretending to read.

"Noted!" Her best friend chirped, before disappearing into her closet.

Ronnie ignored her and flipped the page, trying to focus on the words in front of her, but to no avail. Her heart just wasn't in it. The periodical might as well have been written in gibberish, for all the distraction it provided. Ronnie had, only a few weeks prior, floated the idea of Lincoln coming to visit during one of their video chats. She had only _partially_ done this at Sid's insistence. In truth, she missed the pale haired boy, and genuinely wanted to see her other best friend in person.

The problem came from the fact that when Lincoln had previously visited, circumstances had contrived in such a way that Ronnie had _grossly_ misinterpreted the boy's intentions, thinking he had made the trip so he could ask her to be his girlfriend. In a moment of panic, not at all helped by how embarrassingly supportive her family was of this hypothetical relationship, she'd done everything she could to torpedo any possible romantic overtures from the sole male Loud. They'd managed to sort things out in the end. However, in a move that had felt right in the moment, no doubt resulting from her frayed emotional state, Ronnie had made it very clear to Lincoln that she only considered him to be a friend, and wasn't looking for anything more than that. Lincoln, thankfully, had taken her declaration in stride, and things between them had quickly reverted to their normal state. And for a time, Ronnie Anne was grateful, because in that moment she had well and truly meant what she had said

But the possibility continued to weigh on the Santiago girl's mind, that this normalcy had only been achieved because she and Lincoln were long distance friends to begin with. Even if she had been right, even if she'd accepted Lincoln's proposal, its not like they'd be able to do couple stuff anyway. At best, they'd be like Lori and Bobby, mooning over each other over a phone or tablet screen.

Ronnie grimaced, as a memory came unbidden to her. Well, they'd be like Lori and Bobby _had_ been, she mentally corrected herself. Apparently long distance took a lot of work, even for people as head over heels for each other as those two had been. And when the breakup happened, and she'd sat there, trying to comfort her distraught brother, Ronnie had taken it as a sign that she'd made the right decision.

The problem now, was that...it was entirely possible that she _might_ , under a very specific interpretation of the circumstances... have begun to regret that decision.

Ronnie couldn't quite point to when this hypothetical possibility, only supported by the most circumstantial and anecdotal of evidence, had begun. It might have been when Lincoln had been forced to cancel one of their video chats, and Ronnie had found herself in a consistently terrible mood until they were finally able to reschedule. It might have been when, she'd received that package from him, "Happy Birthday" scribbled across the top in the Loud boy's familiar and terrible handwriting. When it came into her possession, the box was beaten to hell and well over a week late, presumably because of the chaos that plagued the boy's life on a regular basis, but she'd chosen not to hold that against him. The gift was so...dumb, so characteristically lame, she'd have known it was from Lincoln even without the label. A homemade stencil for her skateboard, depicting a crude design of a long-haired girl, presumably herself, dressed like a superhero. She'd laughed so hard that it brought tears to her eyes. And then, later that night, she'd meticulously applied it to her board, not a drop of spray paint wasted. On the bottom of the board, of course, she still had a rep to maintain.

Regardless, it was _possible_ , however unlikely, that she might have developed feelings for her best boy fri— _male_ associate. And having him physically around...looking at her, smiling at her with that bucktooth grin of his...it was only going to make things more complicated.

"Ronnie! Which of these looks better?"

Ronnie Anne sighed and put down the magazine, finally dropping the pretense of being distracted altogether. _"And then there's this whole thing."_ She thought to herself, as she looked over the two identical blue shirts Sid was now frantically waving in front of her...shirts which were also identical to the one the Asian girl was already wearing.

"Sid, they look exactly the same." Ronnie said, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

"Not true!" Sid held up the shirt in her left hand. "This one shows off four extra millimeters of my shoulders."

Ronnie waited for further elaboration, and received none. "Does that matter?" She asked, confused.

Sid shrugged. "Apparently." With that, she flung the garments aside, and disappeared back into her closet. Ronnie shook her head, and wrote the whole thing off as just another one of Sid's wacky antics.

"By the way..." Ronnie looked up to see Sid's head poking out just the barest amount, the rest of her body hidden behind the partially closed closet door. "Thanks again for agreeing to set this up. I know it must be...weird, for you."

"Weird?" Ronnie forced herself to laugh. "What would be weird about my two best friends going on a date? Absolutely nothing at all, that's what!" Ronnie winced as she finished the sentence, that last "what" still echoing in the small room. She may have said that a little more forcefully than was absolutely necessary, a possibility which was further reinforced by the look of concern that came over the other girl's face.

"It's fine, Sid, really." She insisted, trying to reassure the brunette. "I'm okay with you wanting to go out with him. Honest." She breathed a little easier when Sid let out a small sigh of relief, and disappeared back into the darkness.

"Besides." She called out, trying to keep her voice level. "Even if I _did_ want to go out with Lincoln, it's not like I could anyway." It took no small amount of effort to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"Oh, yeah. Because of your...uh, 'job', right?" Sid called back, half a dozen additional blue shirts flying out of the closet as she did so, each one somehow more identical than the last.

Ronnie winced again. This time as her friend's words brought forth the image of the ominous black trunk that was hidden under her bed back home. Covered with runes, wards, and other symbols undoubtedly lost to time, as well as a pair of strangely out of place pink tassels tied around the handles.

"Yeah." She grumbled, having honestly forgotten to even factor _that_ particular bit of nonsense into an equation which was rapidly growing more complex by the minute. "That's _exactly_ what I was talking about."


	24. Chapter 24

"Keep walking forward." Fiona droned, bored out of her mind.

The job had reached a new low. This wasn't an unusual occurrence by any means, working for an interplanetary conqueror had lost its luster long ago around the point where she realized that her main duty was to get beat up on a regular basis, but somehow it seemed like there was always a new bottom to sink to.

"Are they still walking?" Maggie asked, leaning over her shoulder to get a better view.

" _Yes_ , Maggie." Fiona hissed, shoving the younger girl back. "That's why I just said _the thing that I just said_!"

"I was just checking." Maggie grumbled, flopping back into her chair. Fiona fought down the violent impulse that briefly coursed through her body, and turned her attention back to her task. It wasn't Maggie's fault, not entirely. They were both on edge, but the balloon chested girl was just so...punchable, sometimes.

Today's bit of inanity involved the babysitting of the three remaining Thicc QT prototypes. For the sake of clarity, the girls had agreed on referring them at QT-1, QT-2, and QT-3. Maggie had posthumously pronounced their fallen sister to be QT-0, for consistency. Fiona hadn't found in herself to care one way or the other.

Because the _thing_ , whatever it was, that Darkness wanted investigated was apparently in the neighboring Great Lakes City, there was something of a commute involved in traveling to the mission area. Darkness had professed that it would be impractical and needlessly unkind to force Fiona and Maggie to physically make the trip, and had taken steps to ensure that they would be able to manage the minions remotely. In truth, Fiona suspected the sentiment to be a pretext for having a bit of fun at his employees expense. Like literally everything the eldritch monstrosity tended to do.

This newest innovation in torture methodology involved a machine of Darkness' own design, which allowed the girls to monitor the QT's from afar as well as issue commands to them from the comfort of the home office. However, there were a few caveats to the arrangement, the first being the machine itself. The device resembled an old arcade cabinet, a truly ancient CRT monitor encased in an shell which caused it to sit six or so feet off the ground. High up enough that it was impossible to sit down comfortably while still seeing what was on the monitor, a feat made all the more difficult by just how horrid the picture quality was. This necessitated that the operator stand up while using the device,which was made all the more aggravating by the monitor being _slightly_ tilted upward, forcing the operator to lean forward _while_ they were standing up. The end result was an operating position that quickly led to aching feet and a sore back. The cherry on top of this glorious sundae was the method by which they would interact with the minions: a microphone, hard wired to the cabinet via a sturdy metal cable. The length of which was so short as to be useless, necessitating that the operator lean down even further in order to actually use the damn thing. In short, it was scientifically designed to be as painful to operate as possible. Fiona would be impressed if she hadn't been expected to actually use the thing.

"Yes, that's right. Just keep—No no no! I didn't say 'go right'! Arrg, why are you going right?"

The other problem was that the QTs tended to be very literally minded. QT-0 had displayed a surprising degree of autonomy while on her mission, but QT-0 had also gone rogue and torpedoed the entire thing with a violent rampage, which could have easily resulted in Fiona's very curvy personage suddenly becoming very flat. Hoping to prevent any future such incidents, the girls had decided to be a little more hands on.

"That's a wall!" Fiona screeched. "Back away from the wall!"

Unfortunately, the QT's turned out to be very literal minded when under the direct orders of their handlers, which necessitated constant attention and some very carefully worded commands.

"Okay. Walk towards the bus. Stop. Flip off the guy trying to look down QT-1's shirt. Good. Now...get on the—" Fiona caught herself in the middle of what was likely to turn out to be a very regretful order. "Walk up the steps and into the bus."

Much to her relief the QT's did as ordered. Fiona straightened up, wincing at the very audible cracking noise her back made as her spine popped back into place. Wearily, she motioned for Maggie to come over.

"There. Hard part should be over, now we just need to keep them on the bus. Tagging you in, gloomy." She grumbled, sighing in relief as she sank down into a nearby chair, happy to finally get off her feet. "Now, just like we practiced."

Maggie nodded and took her place at the machine. "Sit down in your seats." She spoke, very clearly and concisely. "Now...keep sitting. Continue to sit. Keep sitting..."

"That bus can't get there fast enough." Fiona muttered, her brief moment of relief now replaced by irritation.

* * *

"Is that them?" Sid asked pointing.

"Ambulance." Ronnie replied, not bothering to look.

"Is that them?"

_Ding Ding_

"Bobby on his bicycle." Ronnie absentmindedly waved at her passing brother. This had been going on for some time, the girls sitting out in front of their apartment building, Sid asking about each and every passerby, no matter how un-vehicular or un-Loud they might be, and Ronnie gently refuting her friend's enthusiasm. Lincoln was _supposed_ to arrive hours ago, but it was now late afternoon, and the only word she'd received from the Loud boy was a vague apology text about "banditos". Ronnie had decides to hold off on being offended until she'd gotten a more coherent explanation.

"Is _that_ them?"

"Vanzilla." Ronnie responded automatically, still absorbed in her thoughts. Bad enough that Sid was systematically driving her insane, but helping her sister from another mister with her kooky scheme was already going to severely limit the amount of time that she'd get to spend with Lincoln. And _now_ he was off, who knows where doing who knows what, with who knows who? What if he was hurt? Or sick? Or _engaged_?

"Where did _that_ come from?" Ronnie muttered, breaking from her musings with a violent shake of her head. Then her brain finally brought her up to speed. "Wait, did I say Vanzilla?"

"You did!" Sid chirped pointing again. Sure enough, the Loud family's rusted, ramshackle van was slowly making its way down the street, looking considerably more rusted and ramshackled than ever. Ronnie climbed to her feet as nonchalantly as possible, trying to ignore the hammering in her chest as Vanzilla made its approach. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the vehicle pulled up to the curb before them, and slowed to a complete stop.

_CLANG_

Then the bumper fell off. However, Ronnie quickly put all questions as to how, or why the Loud's beloved transport had ended up in such a state, as the passenger side door opened up and a familiar head of white hair poked out.

Lincoln hopped down from his seat, lightly touching upon the ground. Ronnie was briefly taken aback. Over his usual attire, the boy wore a long, dusty, brown poncho, frayed and tattered at the seams. His eyes, once alert and full of life, were now dull and sunken. Haunted, seemed an appropriate descriptor. Even standing still as he was, the boy was constantly in motion, eyes darting back and forth, shoulders and legs tensed, as if ready to flee at a moments notice, and in his mouth sat a small toothpick, which he chewed upon constantly. The boy...no, the _young man_ that stood before her did so in stark contrast to the boy she remembered so fondly, and Ronnie found that deeply unsettling.

"Lincoln!" Ronnie jerked in surprise as Rita's voice pulled her from her ruminations. "I'm off to find a mechanic! Leave your poncho and I'll return it for you while you're having fun with your friends!"

"Sure thing, mom." Lincoln replied gruffly, his voice several octaves lower than usual. He spun around, and with a quick flourish whipped the garment from his shoulders and laid it upon the seat that he had occupied only moments earlier. He reached for his pockets, hesitating for just a moment...then withdrew a short length of rope, three arrowheads and what appeared to be a skinning knife, placing them down in a small pile and then closing the car door.

"Have fun kids!" Rita called out as Vanzilla noisily roared back to life and took off down the street.

There was a moment of silence as the trio watched the large hunk of metal speed away. Then, Lincoln turned around, and Ronnie felt her shoulders sag with relief. All traces of the...person, who'd been standing before her only moments before stripped away. Eyes, bright with energy and purpose, an easy, relaxed posture more befitting a boy his age, and that stupid bucktoothed smile. She'd missed that.

"Everything okay, Linc?" Ronnie asked, equal parts pleased and weirded out by the metamorphosis.

"Yeah." Lincoln let out a short chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. "But you wouldn't believe what the traffic was like."

* * *

Ronnie Anne took a moment to review her options. She needed to greet Lincoln in a manner that made him feel welcomed, but didn't clue him onto just how much she'd missed him. This was, after all the first time they'd met in quite some time, and this greeting was likely to form the foundation of Lincoln's memories of this trip. So, it behooved her to conduct herself with grace, and a degree of quiet digni—"

_WHUMPF!_

A blue and brown blur flashed into view and crashed into the polo clad child, kicking up a small cloud of dust.

"Lincoln!" Sid shouted happily, now wrapped around the boy, clinging to him with the sort of enthusiasm that a snake might display as it coiled around its prey.

"Hurk!" Lincoln gagged, as the air was forced from his lungs. He tilted his head down, seemingly only just now noticing the girl who had attached herself to him.

"Oh." Lincoln blinked in surprise. "Hey, Sid."

"Ronnie!" Sid hissed back at her in what had to be the world's loudest stage whisper. "He _remembers_ me!"

"Of course I do." Lincoln laughed nervously, discretely shifting around, but unable to make any substantial movements, caught as he was in the brunette's iron clad grip. "We've met several times before."

Ronnie approached the pair, but stopped, briefly confused as Lincoln turned her way, his eyes widening in surprise. It was at this point that she noticed her right hand was clenched tightly into a fist and cocked at her side, ready to fly forward. Funny, she didn't _remember_ doing that...

Ronnie took a deep breath and was relieved to feel her body loosening, releasing a tension that she hadn't noticed was there until just this second. She uncurled her fist, lowered her arm, and _gently_ bopped the pale haired boy on the largest area of his shoulder she could find that wasn't currently occupied by Sid.

"Hey, Lame-O." She said, softly, looking him in the eye.

"Hey yourself, Ronnie Ann." He replied, smiling back at her. It was such a small thing, but Ronnie could already feel her cheeks beginning to heat up. She felt herself begin to step forward, but quickly found her path impeded. A quick glance down revealed the reason why. Sid. Right.

"How long does she usually do this for?" Lincoln asked, letting out a small laugh that, to his credit, it only sounded a _little_ nervous.

"A while, if you let her." Ronnie crouched down slightly and positioned herself behind Sid. "She's got tiny, powerful fingers, like a rock-climbing chimpanzee."

"Oooh oooh, aah aah!" Sid shrieked, affirming her observation.

"The trick is to break her grip." Ronnie reached out, firmly wrapped her hands around Sid's wrists, and squeezed them in unison. A moment later, the brunette girl collapsed to the ground in a heap.

"And that's all it takes." She concluded, giving Lincoln a cocky smirk.

"Someone gonna help me up?" Sid mumbled from her new position on the ground.

* * *

"So, what's on the agenda?" Lincoln asked, once they'd gotten Sid back on her feet.

"Oooh, lots of stuff!" Sid shouted, waving her arms around excitedly. "We've got a whole evening planned!"

"Well..." She continued after quickly glancing at the sky. "We might not have time for it all now that we're running a little late. But if we cut out three of the arcade visits we were going to make, _and_ spend a little longer at the pizza parlor, we should still be able to make the movie!"

"I could definitely go for some pizza." Lincoln replied, patting his stomach. Then he looked to Ronnie, expectantly. "Well, I'm ready when you guys are."

Ronnie glanced at Sid, who was _also_ looking at her expectantly, but, unbeknownst to Lincoln, for a very different reason. And for a moment, her resolve faltered. She _could_ just...follow along with them. Play video games, eat some pizza, watch a movie with her friends. With Lincoln. Sid would undoubtedly be confused, possibly even a little hurt, but Sid was ultimately good natured to her core. Ronnie could provide pretty much any excuse, and Sid would take her at her word, because that was the kind of friend she was. It would be the easiest thing in the world to torpedo the plan, here and now, and Ronnie would suffer zero repercussions for doing so. And yet...

Ronnie started, as if jolted by something. She made a show of reaching into her pocket, pulling out her phone, and frowning at the screen.

"Sorry, guys." She said with a sigh. "Looks like mom needs my help with something, and it's probably gonna take a while."

"Oh." Lincoln looked concerned. "Should we reschedule? Or maybe—"

"No, no." Ronnie cut him off, waving her hand dismissively. "There's no point in ruining everyone's evening. Why don't you guys just go on ahead. Alone."

"You, uh, you sure about that?" Lincoln asked, face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm here for a couple of days, I could just give my mom a call and—"

"No." Ronnie repeated, firmly. Damn him for being so considerate. "You should have a little fun your first night in town. And Sid doesn't mind showing you around, right Sid?"

"Not at all!" Sid shouted, a big grin on her face. The Asian girl slid her arm around Lincoln's and slid closer to him. " _Thank you_." She mouthed, silently.

Lincoln slowly glanced from Sid, to Ronnie, and then back to Sid again.

"Alright." He said at last, still sounding uncertain. Taking another deep breath, Ronnie walked closer, around Lincoln's currently unoccupied side, and pulled the pale haired boy into what she'd hoped was _not_ an awkward looking side-hug.

"We'll hang out tomorrow, Lame-O." She assured him. "I promise."

"Alright." Lincoln nodded in agreement. He started turning towards Sid. "Well then, I guess we'd better be on our—"

"ByeRonniethanksagain!" Sid shouted, and like that the pair were gone, leaving Ronnie standing all by herself, the city sun rapidly setting behind her.

Ronnie let out a soft sigh, and started making her way back to her apartment. Being a good friend could be hard. But sometimes, _having_ a good friend could be much, much harder.

* * *

Ronnie Anne collapsed upon her bed with a loud groan, finally allowing the tension that had been building all day to start leaving her body. Undoubtedly, once she'd calmed down a bit she was going to start making herself sick with worry, imagining all the fun that her two best friends were going to get up to in her absence. So it seemed like the thing to do, would be to find something to take her mind off the situation at hand—

_WHAM_ , came the all too familiar sound of her bedroom door bursting open.

"Ronalda!" Bingo, distraction found.

Ronnie slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. And, as expected, found herself staring at her grandma.

" _Hola, abuela."_ She muttered, giving the woman a small wave of greeting. "What's...up?" Ronnie's eyes widened as context clues began to filter in. There was only one reason her grandma would barge into her room at this time of night.

"No! _Abuela_ , no!" She groaned, flopping back down and trying to pull the covers up and over her face—

_WHAM_

—And immediately froze as her grandma's _chankla_ slammed into the wall behind her. She didn't even have to look to know that it would be embedded there, accompanied by a sizeable dent.

"You're going to help me fix that tomorrow." Rosa scolded her as she waddled into the room, closing the bedroom door behind her. Resigned to her fate, Ronnie threw back the covers and clambered back into a sitting position, waiting for Rosa to say those hated words.

"You're going on patrol tonight."

"Again?" Ronnie protested, weakly. _Chanklas_ came in pairs, after all. "I _just_ went out last night!"

"And you're going out again." Rosa replied, sternly, sitting herself down next to Ronnie. To her surprise, Rosa reached out and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder.

" _Mijita_ " Rosa said, softly. "I know you've been doing your best. You didn't ask for this, but this is what we've been preparing for. Something is _here_ , I can feel it. And your duty is to find it, and stop it."

"Couldn't..." Ronnie glanced at the door. "Couldn't Carlotta handle it? Just this once? I'm kind of dealing with some...stuff, right now."

Rosa shook her head. "I wish she could, but you know it doesn't work that way. You inherited the family duty, and you need to uphold it until you can pass it on to your successor."

"Mom just _had_ to stop at two kids." Ronnie grumbled, slowly climbing to her feet. "Couldn't have had just _one_ more girl." And not for the first time, Ronnie found herself wondering if Lincoln could loan her a sister or two. Just for a bit.

With a sigh of resignation, Ronnie reached under her bed, and withdrew...the box. Black as night, and just as ominous. Not for the first time, Ronnie found herself glaring at its symbol laden surface, resenting it for what it represented.

_"Mijita."_ Again, Ronnie felt her grandma's touch upon her. "You know I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't important. There's something...dark, something evil out there. I can feel it. And you're the only one who can stop it."

Ronnie steeled herself, and gave her grandma what she _hoped_ was a confident smile. "I know, _abuela_. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Ronnie crouched down and pressed both her hands upon the box's decorated surface. The contained stirred at her touch, and moments later the lid began to slide apart, revealing its contents. A small, golden colored rod, though what the object was actually made of, she could not say. It was fairly compact, a little under two feet in length, topped at the end with a silver colored, heart shaped frame, at the center of which sat a pink gemstone of the same shape. Last but not least, a small length of bright pink ribbon hung from where the base of the rod met the frame. Such a small thing. So deceptively sinister. Ronnie gingerly picked up the rod, and held it at arms length. Now, for the second time today, regretting just how frequently she seemed to be the victim of her own sense of honor and fair play.

"You need to say the words, Ronalda." Rosa gently chided her.

"I know, I know." Ronnie groaned. She took a small amount of comfort from the fact that Lincoln wasn't around to see this. Doing it in front of Sid had been bad enough, and that was an experience that she most definitely did not want to repeat. With one last sigh of resignation, Ronnie slowly raised the rod so that she was holding it aloft, and with much reluctance, spoke the hated words.

"Shimmer...sparkle...rainbow...ribbon..." Ronnie paused, shuddering violently as she forced herself to complete the incantation. "...makeup."

And then her world went pink and sparkly.


	25. Chapter 25

"Jump, Lincoln!"

The cry was barely audible to the pale haired boy, his senses currently occupied by a cacophony of bleeps and bloops, buzzers and blares, and the ever present sound of screaming children. Still, a small part of his brain was able to pick out the desperate instruction, and reflexes long trained to respond to forceful female commands sprung into action. Without thinking, Lincoln right hand slid over and jammed a big red button, and in response, his tiny digital avatar hopped into the air, just barely avoiding being incinerated by a trio of fireballs.

Lincoln barely had time to bask in the satisfaction of successfully navagating the hazzard when a wall of spikes sprung into view.

"Jump again!"

Once more, Lincoln's avatar hurtled skyward, sailing clear of his impending doom before safely landing on the ground. Lincoln turned to his companion, wracking his brain for something clever to say—

_WOOP WOOP WOOP_

—And in the fraction of a second it took for him to leave his state of catlike readiness, an enormous rock crashed down from above and smashed his tiny man into pieces. **GAME OVER** , read the screen, mocking him.

"You didn't tell me to jump that third time." Lincoln said, fully turning away from the game.

"Well, yeah." Sid replied, rolling her eyes. "I can't be holding your hand the whole time, right? You've gotta spread your wings eventually."

"Touche." Lincoln leaned back to stretch, allowing his constricted joints to pop and snap in a very satisfying manner. As he did so, he caught a wiff of the tantalizing aroma of meats, cheeses, and tomato sauce, and his stomach began to rumble in anticipation. "You wanna go see if our pizza's ready?"

"Absolutely!" Sid shouted, reaching out and grabbing his hand. Lincoln looked down at their clasped appendages, and gave the girl a wry smile.

"It's okay now, obviously." She said, dragging him along with her. "You already lost the game."

* * *

The pair found themselves a booth and quickly went about setting down their drinks, an order of bread sticks, and a piping hot double meat lover's pizza with extra meat and a side order meat. The table set, they quickly sad down and began tearing into their meal.

For a time, the only sounds that could be heard were the gnashing of teeth, the sizzling of cheese, and an occasional exclamation of pain when one of the two bit into a slice that was still too hot for consumption.

"So." Sid began, once her hunger had been sated. "Horrible death aside, you seemed to be pretty good at that game."

" _Jump Man_?" Lincoln asked, now forcing himself to slow down. His body still cried out for sustenance, but Loud Family dining rules dictated that once someone engaged you in conversation, you were obligated to eat like a normal, dignified person until you'd satisfied their curiosity. Naturally, this had introduced an element of gamesmanship into family meals, and while some were conducted in complete silence, other more desirable dishes frequently lead to a bevy of short bursts of frantic conversation as each sibling strategically attempted to secure as much food for themselves, while denying their fellows the same. "I'm alright. I've played all the games, for what that's worth."

"Oooh." Sid leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. "So tell me about _Jump Man_ then. What's his deal? What's he all about?"

"Well, he's a man." Lincoln said, settling down into his seat. "A man who does a lot of jumping. And conveniently, the vast majority of his problems can be solved by that very specific skill set."

"Does he _love_?" Sid pressed. "Does he _yearn_? Does he struggle with the knowledge that, while he's an extraordinarily skilled jumping man, that his proficiency in that field has denied him the opportunity to ever be anything else?"

Lincoln took a moment to consider this. "Not to my knowledge, no. But next year they're rebooting the series, retooling it to appeal to an older, more nuanced audience."

"How so?"

"Well, they haven't released too many details yet." Lincoln paused to drain the last of his soda. "But the name of the new game is _Jump and Gun Man_."

Sid shrugged. "Well, at least he's doing something with his life, right?"

"I suppose so." Lincoln chuckled, shaking his cup and now finding it woefully empty. "I'm gonna get a refill, you want one?"

Sid daintily plucking the lid off her cup, then downed the still mostly full beverage in a single gulp. "Yes please." She said, sliding the now spent beverage across the table.

Lincoln looked at the cup, then back to Sid, eyebrows raised high into the air. Finally, he shrugged. "Alright, I'll be right back.". And with that, he hopped out of his seat, snatched up the two cups, and disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

Sid waved to the departing boy for a few seconds longer than necessary, then slid back down into her seat, and let out a long, tortured sigh. This was _so_ much harder than she'd thought it'd be!

It wasn't that Lincoln was a chore to be around, or anything like that. Quite the opposite, in fact, he was great! Cute, funny, good at pushing buttons. Really, he was the whole package, and not for the first time Sid found herself wondering what it was that made Ronnie so reluctant to pursue a relationship with him. Especially when it was so obvious that her loins still burned for his touch. Anyone with eyes could see that!

No, the problem was with her. She had no idea what she was doing! Which, to be fair, had never stopped her from doing anything before, but she'd also never felt so self conscious in her life!

She'd been bad at Lucha Libre, but the bones she'd broken had taught her so much about human anatomy that the experience absolutely paid for itself! And bathing that monkey had turned out to be _surprisingly_ similar to bathing her little sister, so she'd quickly rose to the occasion. But Sid had never been on a date before! Granted, there was that time she and Ronnie had gone to the dance together because neither of them could find a date, but that wasn't anything close to being a real date! They hadn't even held hands, or slow danced, or anything! They just made out a little, and only because people had been giving them so many weird looks! Surprisingly, those same people had suddenly started being really nice to them afterwords. She'd made so many new friends that night!

Sid puffed out her cheeks and blew noisily, trying to push aside the a few errant hairs that had fallen across her face, without expending any physical effort. How did one go about dating a boy? Making out with them was obviously out of the question. It's not like she didn't _want_ to, obviously, but what guy would respect a girl who just jumped on them and shoved their tongue down his throat? Granted, Ronnie had seemed to like it, but she also liked _guacamole_! Clearly, Ronnie Anne Santiago was not an authority on anything. She'd tried making conversation, but all that had come out was that thing about _Jump Man_. " _Oooh, tell me all about Jump Man"._ Ugh. She shook her head in disgust.

Absentmindedly, she grabbed a few strands of her hair, puckered up her lips and lay the hair across the top. Mustache time always helped her think. She sat there for a few moments, twirling the faux facial hair as she contemplated her situation. She _seemed_ to recall some half remembered advice that boys liked compliments, and loved talking about themselves. Maybe, if she was crafty, she could get Lincoln to open up about himself, and then she could just let _him_ carry the conversation! Yes, yes. That sounded like a good plan, much harder to embarrass herself if she was putting the burden on somebody else.

Suddenly, a large cup of soda was placed onto the table in front of her.

"Hey Sid." Lincoln greeted her. "Got you your refill."

"You look nice!" An extremely high pitched voice shrieked. It took Sid several seconds to realize that she, in fact, was the one who'd said it.

" _Dangit, Brain!"_ She scolded herself. _"You had one job!"_

* * *

"You look nice!" Sid shrieked all of a sudden.

Lincoln was stunned. Both by the suddenness of the exclamation, and by the way Sid's eyes bulged out immediately after saying it. Lincoln waited for a moment, still hunched over from placing Sid's drink on the table, just to see if there was anything else forcoming, but nothing came. He was actually starting to get a little worried, Sid was just sitting there, frozen in place, to such a degree that he couldn't even tell if she was breathing.

"Uh..." He ventured, tentatively reaching forward and slowly waving his free hand in front of her eyes.

"Your body!" Sid screamed, suddenly snapping into motion once more. Well, at least she was breathing again.

"Uh..." Lincoln repeated, not sure how to respond to that. Thankfully, he didn't need to. Sid snatched up her cup, tore the lid off and splashed herself in the face with the liquid inside. Immediately, her body untensed, and she slid back down into her seat.

"You...okay, Sid?" He asked, still trying to process this strange turn of events.

"Yup." The brunette nodded, sounding considerably more relaxed now, seemingly unconcerned about the soda still dripping from her face and hair.

"You sure?" Lincoln pressed. "Want me to get you another refill?"

"No thank you, Lincoln." She said, cheerfully. "I'm feeling very refreshed."

"Alright." Lincoln shrugged, returning to his seat. He had long come to realize that there were some things he'd never get a proper explanation on. Sometimes, girls were just weird, and it was as simple as that.

* * *

"What I meant, was that you look nicer than the last time I saw you." Sid clarified, flexing her skinny arms demonstratively. "More...uh, toned and stuff. You been working out?"

Lincoln shrugged noncommittally. "Not really. But my sister, Lynn, is kind of a health nut, and she likes to drag me along when she works out. So I guess I get a decent amount of second-hand exercise from that."

_"And also from running around, trying to avoid being stomped on by crazy, giant women on a regular basis."_ He thought to himself. _"And also Maggie."_ He added a moment later.

"Oh, wow! That's so cool!" Sid gestured to her arm, which if anything had gone concave when she tried to flex it. "I wish I was in better shape. Must be nice to have a live-in personal trainer."

"Uh..."

* * *

"Alright, Lincoln." Lynn announced, rubbing her hands together eagerly. "Time to run my brand new obstacle course! Any questions!"

"I have many." Lincoln sighed in exasperation.

"Well, you only get one! Time's a wasting!"

"Fine." He pointed, indicating what seemed to be the most pressing issue at the moment. "Why is one of the obstacles a bear? Heck, how did you even _get_ one of those?"

Lynn shrugged. "Luan knows a guy. She got me a good deal."

"That just raises more question!" Lincoln shouted. He turned and gestured towards the third member of their trio. "And also, why is Lucy dressed like that?"

Lucy blushed, seemingly pleased at the attention. The diminutive goth had eschewed her normal outfit for a nurses ward dress, circa World War 2. Made out of black cloth as opposed to the traditional white, of course, and with a hand-painted Red Cross on the cap.

"I am here to pluck you from death's grasp, should you need it." She said softly, hefting a large medical bag as she did so. "I wasn't able to get leeches on such short notice, but I have plenty of bats."

Lincoln gulped loudly, his already pale skin going several shades whiter. "I-I really don't think—"

"Less thinkin', more obstaclin'!" Lynn shouted, effortlessly hoisting Lincoln off the ground and flinging him across the starting line. The upside was that Lynn had apparently underestimated her own strength, and had tossed Lincoln in such a way that he was flying right by most of the obstacles. The downside was that he was flying straight at the bear...

* * *

Lincoln jerked violently as the memory abruptly ended. Thankfully before he was forced to relive the really bad part...

"Y-yeah." He nodded, taking a long drink of soda. "It's pretty...pretty great."

"I'll bet!" Sid leapt up in her seat, hands clenched with determination. "Man, I wish I was jacked!" She exclaimed, punching the air demonstratively. It wasn't an especially intimidating sight.

"I'm nowhere near 'jacked'." Lincoln said, gesturing at his still very noodley body. "And it's not exactly an easy thing to do. Lynn works like a madwoman to maintain her physique. I think she only manages it because she just really liked working out."

" _Though the super power probably help."_ He added, privately.

"But think of all the benefits!" Sid insisted, flopping back down in her seat.

"Such as?"

"You could open so many pickle jars!" Sid stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Peanut butter jars too."

Lincoln felt one his eyebrow raising, seemingly of its own volition. "You like pickles that much?"

"Not really." The brunette shrugged. "They're kinda gross. But I know a lot of people who do, and I like being helpful. I could be the one who opens them!" Lincoln shook his head in bemusement, having no response to this.

"That's a very noble goal." He pursed his lips, thoughtfully. "If you want, I could put you in touch with Lynn. Maybe the two of you could work something out."

"That would be awesome!" Sid squealed, bouncing up and down eagerly. Then she got odd look on her face. "Y-you...uh, you want me to meet your family?"

"Why not?" Lincoln's head tilted to the side in puzzlement, an expression he distantly recognized he must have picked up from Leni. "We're friends, right?"

Sid sat there, frozen in place, her face gradually reddening. "Yes." She said at last. "Yes we are."

Sid rolled back her sleeve and checked her wrist. "We'd better get going, it's almost time for the movie." Lincoln felt it would somehow be wrong to point out that she wasn't actually wearing a watch.

"Sounds good." He replied instead, climbing to his feet. "You think we'll make it in time?"

"Of course." Sid waved her hands dismissively as she made to do the same. "The movie will just so happen to be starting right when we get to the theater."

Lincoln blinked in surprise, unable to tell if she was joking. "That sounds...awfully convenient."

"Yep." And with that, Sid spun around and began to walk towards the exit. Lincoln reached out with one hand, and grabbed her before she could get too far away.

"Y-yes, Lincoln?" Sid asked, turning her head to look at him, the barest hint of a stutter in her voice. It quickly dawned upon Lincoln that this was likely because he'd inadvertently grabbed the girl by her bare shoulder. Only a few millimeters to the right, and he'd have gotten her by her shirt like he'd been planning. Funny how that worked out.

"You, uh..." He coughed nervously, trying to work through the awkwardness. "You want to wash your face first, before we go?"

"Oh!" Sid patted her face, still sticky with overpriced sugar water. "Yes. Yes I do."

* * *

Ronnie Anne Santiago _flew_...metaphorically speaking, dashing across the rooftops of the Great Lakes City skyline with inhuman alacrity. During those brief periods when she roof she was currently on would end, it was a simple matter of leaping to the next one, as simple for her, in her current state, as stepping over a rain simple, in fact, that she didn't have to think about what she was doing. Which left her brain free to contemplate what was actually worrying her.

Sid and Lincoln. Together. Ronnie felt her hand involuntarily clench into a fist as the thought ran through her mind for what must have been the umpteenth, time since she'd started her patrol, and she immediately clamped down on the tide of bitterness that began to well up inside her. After all, when you approached the problem in a rational manner, one could clearly see that she had nothing to worry about.

She and Sid were friends. She and Lincoln were friends. She, Sid, _and_ Lincoln were friends. But there was no preexisting relationship here that was made up of just Sid and Lincoln. The three of them were a trio, like a tricycle. You can't just take one of the wheels off a tricycle, because then you'd end up with some freakish, Frankensteinian two-wheeled form of transport. And that clearly wouldn't work under any set of circumstances. And besides, the two of them had _nothing_ in common! Sid was a cute, bubbly Asian girl, and Lincoln was a comic book loving, anime-watching dork. They were _completely_ incompatible!

Ronnie internally winced as she dodged around a TV antenna and leapt up and over a large, inconveniently placed heating unit, effortlessly landing on her feet and immediately resuming her run, as if no obstacles had been there to begin with.

Ugh, who was she kidding? Sid was that doofus' wet dream. He'd probably already proposed to her by now _and_ had a frank discussion about the ridiculous number of kids they'd have together. And of course she'd say yes! The two were so alike that it was sickening!

Ronnie briefly pulled herself from her thoughts as she noticed that she was soon to be without any more roof to run on at all. Fortunately, when you were in the city, densely packed groups of buildings weren't something you needed to look very hard for. A quick scan of her surroundings confirmed a nice cluster only a short distance away, relatively speaking. Too far to leap to, even for her, but she wasn't without her options.

Lowering her head, Ronnie put on a fresh burst of _speed_ , magically enhanced leg muscles pumping tirelessly as they sent her towards her new destination. She reached the edge of the roof, and with a short flex of her legs, sent herself hurtling into the night sky. Up and forward she sailed, her form rendered functionally invisible against the glare of the city lights below. She took a moment to admire the scene laid out before her. This job was frustrating, and embarrassing beyond belief, but there were definitely some perks. However, it wasn't long before she could feel her momentum begin to dissipate.

Ronnie reached for the little brass rod she carried strapped to her waist. A flick of her wrist sent the length of ribbon attached to the rod flying towards her target, her accompanying mental command causing the ribbon to dramatically increase in length. It slammed into a nearby building and stuck there, in stark contrast to how frail and _pink_ it appeared. At that point, it was a simple matter of holding on. Ronnie swung in a lazy arc, over and upward, releasing and retracting the ribbon at just the right point, sending her hurtling forward with fresh momentum, more than enough to see her to the distant rooftop she'd been aiming for. She landed on her feet, as daintily as if she'd just stepped off a bus, and paused for a moment to admire her handiwork.

Ronnie hated to admit it, but she couldn't be mad at Sid and Lincoln. They were...so alike that it was kind of infuriating. Cute and naive, optimistic to a fault, and with that strange do-gooder streak that tended to hurt _them_ more than it helped anyone. And yet, they never let it get them down. They soldiered on, unjaded, unburdened by cynicism, Earnest and helpful, and so very... _themselves_ , for lack of a better word. It was no wonder she found herself drawn to them, she mused. Sid mirrored all of Lincoln's best aspects, how could he not be attracted to that? Plus, she could do that thing with her tongue...

Ronnie's train of thought was interrupted as the ground before her began to quake. Which was distressing, because she was _really high up off the ground_! She swayed for a moment, barely managing to maintain her balance. Thankfully, the quakes quickly subsided, and she breathed a short sigh of relief. She _really_ didn't want to fall over while she was wearing this thing. Even with nobody around to see, her dignity...or at least, what was left of it, simply couldn't take it!

Dignity thus preserved, if even just for the moment, Ronnie dashed to the edge of the rooftop and glanced around, hoping to discover the source of the disturbance. She didn't have to look very hard.

There, in the distance, she could see an inhumanly large shadow looming over the over a portion of the city. Easily the size of a building, if not larger. The "evil", presumably, that he grandma had warned her about.

"...Dang it." Ronnie grumbled, suddenly feeling very small, in more ways than one. Still, this was _the_ job, the thing that had fallen upon...what was quickly beginning to feel like her entirely too unqualified shoulders. She was the only one who could handle this. Probably.

And with that happy thought in mind, Ronnie Anne Santiago lashed out with her garish, ribbony transport, and sent herself swinging into the air once more.

"I hope those two Lame-O's are having fun." She grumbled to herself.

* * *

Sid walked alongside Lincoln, in companionable, if embarrassed silence.

"Okay!" She shouted at last, not being able to take it any longer. "Apparently movies don't just start when you show up! But how was I supposed to know that when that's exactly how things work _in movies_? Movies have apparently been lying to me my entire life! I feel so betrayed." She started in surprise as she felt a gentle warmth on her shoulder. A glance to her side revealed that it was Lincoln hand. Disappointingly, he'd landed on her shirt this time. She'd have to alter her wardrobe, 4 millimeters just wasn't cutting it.

"it's fine, Sid." He said, giving her a gentle pat, and for a moment, Sid briefly considered the merits of swooning. Would he catch her? If she fainted, would he try to revive her? She swallowed, suddenly. How strange, she wasn't the type to drool, normally...

"We'll just go again." Lincoln continued, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"A-again?" Sid asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"Sure." Lincoln nodded. "I mean, I'm here for a few more days. We can just try again tomorrow or something"—" Sid gasped, equal parts surprised and delighted.

"—and then maybe Ronnie can join us." Instantly deflating Sid's good cheer. Right, of course he was going to want Ronnie along. And under normal circumstances, Sid would be totally okay with them. The three of them going to the movies, together, as a threesome, sounded like it'd be a lot of fun. But on the other hand...

"Ronnie gets really busy at night!" She blurted out, somewhat less tactfully then she'd intended to. "And there's a lot of stuff she wants to do during the day! Like...uh, the zoo! And the skate park! And not watching movies!" Nice and subtle.

"Oh." Lincoln blinked in surprise. "Alright then. Well, I really did want to see this movie..."

Sid leaned forward in anticipation...

"So..." Lincoln trailed off, suddenly looking embarrassed. "Look, I know this is kinda sudden, but I had a lot of fun tonight. So..."

Sid leaned forward a little more. " _Say it!_ " She silently urged him, he was so close...

"You think you'd want to go to the movies with me again?" He asked. "Before I leave, and also early enough that we can actually _see_ the movie, of course."

"I accept!" Sid shrieked, leaping onto the surprised boy and inadvertently shoving him onto the ground. So elated was she, that she didn't properly process the invitation until they had nearly hit the ground.

" _Oh...he just asked me to...huh"_ She thought, to herself as she rode Lincoln's skinny frail body to the ground.

"Ghack!" Lincoln wheezed as the air was pushed from his lungs.

" _Well, it's a start, I guess."_ Sid concluded, only just now realizing the position they were in. Her, straddling Lincoln's surprisingly toned body. Him, gazing up at her with what were clearly bedroom eyes. Wheezing, as if he could barely contain his desire for her.

" _I mean..._ " She mused, licking her lips. " _It's okay if he wants it...right? The poor guy looks like he's suffering. And I_ do _like helping people..."_

"S-Sid?" Lincoln gasped, but by that point she'd already convinced herself, and before he could say anything more, her lips were upon his.

" _Wow. This is way better with a guy."_ Sid thought to herself, inadvertently letting out a little squeal of delight as her tongue met Lincoln's, genuinely uncertain as to who initiated that little _tête-à-tête_ but pleased all the same as the tiny muscles danced with one another. Little tendrils of pleasure working their way up her body as she writhed against Lincoln, pressing him harder against the ground.

" _And that's definitely new!"_ The tiny part of her brain that wasn't currently managing her grip on the pale haired boy mused, as a new sensation began to reverberate through her. It was an entirely distinct trill of pleasure, independent from the one she got when Lincoln deftly brushed aside a few stray hairs that had briefly come between them, of from when she'd grabbed his hand and forced it against her budding breast. This was a whole other thing. It felt like...electricity, coursing through her. And it was growing—

Sid's train of thought was abruptly cut off as she sensation grew to a climax, and her world exploded into crackling blue energy...

* * *

_Lincoln_. Seven intoned. _I'm very disappointed in you._

"Me too, buddy." Lincoln mumbled, still dazed, his vision swimming as he tried to focus on the large blurry shape now looming high above him.

_I can't decide what's more_ infuriating. The alien device continued. _That you lost control_ again. _That you apparently saw fit to modify the costume template...because I can't see any tactical advantage in exposing one's shoulders like that—_

"Wait, I did what now?" Lincoln asked, struggling to sit up.

— _Or that you're so creatively bankrupt that you couldn't think of another color!_ Seven snarled, showing more emotion than Lincoln had ever seen from the machine. _We already have a Gigant Blue! Having a second one is needlessly confusing!_

"I...I don't..." Lincoln trailed off as he noticed that the sky was getting considerably darker. Fortunately, Lincoln's long honed instincts had kicked in, and he was already flinging himself to safety.

"THIS IS SO COOL!" A distressingly familiar voice thundered, as an enormous white boot slammed down onto the pavement, entirely too close to where he had just been sitting only moments earlier.

"Tell you what, buddy." Lincoln muttered, as he rose unsteadily to his feet. "How about we work on fixing this little problem, and _then_ you can go back to yelling at me?

_I'm just saying, there are so many other colors you could have used!_


	26. Chapter 26

_CRACK_

"Lori!"

The eldest Loud sibling's eyes snapped open just in time to see her bedroom door sail through the air and crash into the wall on the opposite side of the room, snapping into multiple pieces as it fell to the carpet below. Lori sighed, not for the first time regretting just how much more hectic life had become with multiple superhuman sisters now living under the same roof. She really needed to have a talk with Lisa, see if she could figure out a way to convince the little genius into reinforcing the house without revealing her own tendency to crush doorknobs like they were made of paper. It continued to infuriate Lori that she remained the only one of them who hadn't gotten the hang of opening a stupid door.

"Lori!" Hissed a voice from her now bare doorway. Right, she had this thing to deal with. Lori squinted her sleep blurred eyes, trying to focus on the clearly suicidal individual who had interrupted her rest, flinching away as the girl's bright yellow pajamas came into view. Well, that certainly narrowed things down.

"Literally _what_ , Luan?" She growled, not bothering to hide her displeasure. Bad enough that the family joksester had invaded her space, presumably as part of a bit she we doing, but the younger girl's trademarked color was murder on her sleep deprived eyes. She gingerly turned back to the younger girl, and found Luan's face only inches away from her own.

"Lori!" Luan repeated for the third time, wringing her hands with worry. "It's bad, really bad! We need to talk right now!"

"About what?" Lori asked, suspicious. Luan certainly seemed sincere, but it was so very often true in this house that one's person's problem—

"About your color scheme!"

—was often very stupid. So very, very stupid. Lori choked down the rage that was bubbling up inside her, and took a deep, calming breath.

"My... _what_?" She asked, trying, as hard as she could, to not sound like she was only seconds away from murdering the younger girl.

"Your color scheme!" Luan jabbed Lori's tank top for emphasis and Lori winced in pain. That _hurt_.

"This, powder blue thing you've got going on!" Luan pinched a bit of the fabric and rubbed it between her fingers. "We need to change it! Now!"

" _Why_?" Lori growled, slapping the brunette's hand away. She resisted the urge to smirk as Luan flinched, and began to nurse the affected hand. Lori was the oldest, it was beneath her to be that petty.

"I-I don't know!" Luan confessed. "But I just have a feeling! We need to find you a new color scheme, and fast!"

Rapidly losing her patience, Lori prepared to respond with a scathing retort, but before she could, Luan produced a fistful of colored swatches and tossed them on the bed. Then another. And another. This repeated for some time.

"Blue's out." Luan said, sifting through the sizeable pile of color samples and now littered Lori's bed. "So's yellow. And purple, cyan, red..." She trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.

"Might as well rule out black right now, it'll just cause trouble later if we don't." Luan said at last, chewing her lip thoughtfully. "Pink too. And another kind of green. Oh, and another kind of blue. Might not ever come into play, but, you never know, right?" Lori didn't respond. Instead, she calmly slid out from underneath the covers, and began to make her way towards Leni's side of the room.

"Oh!" Luan smacked herself in the forehead. "I forgot some of the pastels! I'll be right back!" She hopped to her feet and dashed towards the door.

"Luan..." Lori intoned softly, as the younger girl reached the doorway.

"Yeah, Lori?" She asked, halting mid-stride and craning her neck around.

"Time for bed!" Lori roared. Luan had just enough time to hop backwards, narrowly avoiding being crushed under the heavy bed frame that now occupied the space she had been standing only moments before.

"G-good one Lori!" Luan called back, laughing nervously. "I guess we'll pick this up tomorrow?"

Lori didn't have it in her to respond. She crossed the room once more, and slid underneath the covers again, not caring about the colored samples that were strewn about in the process. She could worry about that after she'd gotten some sleep.

"Lori~..." Another voice whined from beside her. Lori rolled her eyes and turned on her side.

"That was _my_ bed." Said Leni, her lower lip jutting out as she pouted angrily.

Lori shrugged. "It had to be done. Besides, its not like you ever sleep in it anymore."

"Linky and I use it when we play together!"

Lori's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Well maybe if you'd invite me to _join_ you sometime, I'd _know_ that!"

"Sometimes I need my private time with Linky." Leni replied, rolling away from Lori in a huff, and pulling the covers over herself. Again, Lori tried to calm herself down with a deep breath. It wasn't worth fighting over this right now.

Reasonably calm now, she laid down beside her younger sister and wrapped her arms around her, pulling Leni close with one arm and reaching for one of the girl's sizeable breasts with the other.

"No!" Leni shouted, slapping Lori's hands away. "Not tonight. You're being mean."

Lori growled in annoyance before releasing her hold on Leni, and retreating to her own side of the bed, rolling over in a huff. At least she could take comfort in the knowledge that all her sisters were accounted for. And since Sam wouldn't embark on one of her crazy schemes without Luna being involved, Lori could rest easy in the knowledge that Lincoln wasn't getting any action tonight either. For once, Lori could go to bed without having to worry about her little brother being in the arms of another woman.

* * *

Lincoln let out a very undignified squeak of surprise as a gigantic hand wrapped around his comparatively tiny body, and whisked him into the sky. For a moment he felt lightheaded as the now very familiar sensation of weightlessness that accompanied such trips kicked in. Mercifully, the journey ended as quickly as it started, and he quickly found himself suspended high in the air, staring into a pair of enormous brown eyes, obscured ever so slightly by a visor so translucent, it might as well have not been there to begin with.

"Why are those things even part of the outfit?" Lincoln found himself wondering aloud. "It's not even tinted! You can see right through it!"

 _The visors project a low level distortion effect which prevents bystanders from casually recognizing the Gigant, it's a security measure._ Seven replied, matter of factly. _But more importantly, it's there because it's part of the template! That's why you can't just_ change _things on a whim! It has the potential to disrupt the essential functions of the uniform!_

Glancing around, Lincoln could see that, yes, the now super sized Sid was wearing the same outfit that manifested whenever the other girls transformed, form fitting spandex in the girl's assigned color (though he noted that despite Seven's earlier outburst, Sid's shade of blue was noticeably darker than Lori's), accompanied by a set of white gloves, boots, and a scarf, as well as the aforementioned visor of dubious functionality. The one noticeable difference, as Seven had pointed out, was that Sid's version of the outfit left her shoulders bare. How very...strange...

"It wasn't on a whim, it was an accident!" Lincoln protested, shaking the wrist the bore the alien device emphatically. "And anyway, how's that any different from when _you_ changed the uniform?"

_That alteration was carefully and painstakingly planned out to the smallest detail, not a single molecule overlooked! And it provided a noticeable boost in combat effectiveness!_

"Its a boob window! You took an outfit that already left very little to the imagination and _subtracted_ material from it!"

 _I can't be blamed for your species' bizarre biology._ Seven scoffed. _Your ability to manipulate gionic energy hinges upon you being able to maintain physical contact with the subject. I'm simply working with the tools I've been given._

"SORRY TO INTERRUPT, LINCOLN, BUT ARE YOU FINISHED TALKING TO YOURSELF?"

Lincoln flinched as Sid's characteristically chipper voice, now amplified to thunderous volumes, washed over him, leaving a slight ringing in his ears.

"We should probably get back to dealing with this situation." He muttered, waving nervously at the all too attentive giantess.

_It's far more likely that the situation is about to deal with you._

* * *

"H-hey there, Sid." Lincoln called out, trying to remain nonchalant.

"LINCOLN!" Sid boomed happily. "I'M HUGE!"

"I noticed." Lincoln replied, with just a hint of irony in his voice. Fortunately, Sid didn't seem to pick up on that.

"THIS IS SO AWESOME! EVERYTHING'S TINY!"

Lincoln's stomach lurched as Sid began looking herself over, inadvertently swinging the smaller boy around erratically.

"I'M LIKE ONE OF THOSE GIANT MONSTERS IN THOSE OLD MOVIES! DO YOU THINK I HAVE ATOMIC BREATH?" Lincoln's heart leapt up into his throat as Sid abruptly brought her hands up to her face, gasping in realization. "DO I HAVE A TAIL?"

Lincoln wasn't sure how to respond to that train of logic, but fortunately, he didn't have to. The world spun around him once more, and Lincoln quickly found himself standing standing on solid ground once more, albeit unsteadily. As he worked to regain his balance, Lincoln was able to ascertain that Sid had put him down on a nearby rooftop.

"LINCOLN!" The pale haired boy jerked his head upward as the sound of his name, and blanched as he saw Sid's enormous rear hanging in the air above him.

"LINCOLN!" Sid repeated, waggling her butt in his direction. "DO I HAVE A TAIL? TELL ME IF I HAVE A TAIL!"

"Would I be tempting fate if I said this couldn't possibly get any weirder?" Lincoln asked, unable to take his eyes off the now twerking giantess.

"Stop right there, evildoer!" Came a very angry shout from somewhere behind him.

 _At this point, I'm inclined to say yes, you_ _would be_.

* * *

In the last few months, Lincoln Loud had seen a great many things that were strange, titillating, and strangely titillating.

"LINCOLN? DO YOU SEE ANYTHING? I'M GONNA TRY WAGGLING MY BUTT HARDER!"

...case in point. But the girl standing before him was one such thing.

Near as he could figure, she was more or less his age. Long, raven black hair tied into a pony tail, set against dusky, sun-touched skin. It would be a rather attractive package if it wasn't for the incredibly severe expression she was shooting his way. However, that was where all semblance of normalcy ended. The girl was wearing something that vaguely resembled a school uniform. Like, the uniforms one might see at one of those really expensive, high end private schools. Primarily white with pink accents, and covered liberally with frills and bows, all of which were also pink. In stark contrast to the relative modest, if overdesigned nature of the garment, an _incredibly_ short skirt and complete lack of sleeves left the girl's surprisingly toned arms and legs exposed, bare to both the elements and admiring onlookers. A pair of pink boots, and white gloves completed the outfit. Atop her head she wore a tiara, a simple, thin band of gold, surprisingly modest compared to the rest of her outfit, and decidedly unremarkable save for the small pink gemstone set within, which rested in the center of her forehead. The tiara wouldn't have been unusual in and of itself, Lola owned _scores_ of the things. But Lola Loud was a six-year old girl with aspirations of princessdom, and an outfit which likely would have looked _adorable_ on her somehow seemed...seedier, and less wholesome when worn by a girl roughly twice her age.

Lincoln was abruptly pulled from his thoughts when the mysterious girl produced a...magic wand(?), and pointed it directly at him. In spite of how silly it looked, Lincoln still found himself instinctively raising his hands in the air, idly wondering if this might be some kind of really weird, big city mugging attempt.

"I don't know what your plan is, but I'm stopping you and your giant monster right here!" It was a good line, classic superhero stuff. Would have been a lot more effective if it wasn't for the...everything, really. Still, A for effort.

Lincoln blinked in confusion as the significance of the girl's words set in. Giant monster? There wasn't anything like that here. Unless she was talking about...

"LINCOLN? IT FEELS LIKE YOU STOPPED LOOKING AT MY BUTT. I'M GONNA TURN AROUND NOW." Well this couldn't possibly get any worse.

The highly inappropriately dressed superheroine(?) jerked in surprise, only partially motivated by the sheer volume of the giant girl's voice. She lowered her weapon ever so slightly, and squinted trying to get a better look at him in the dim lighting. He presumed that the reason she'd been able to find him to begin with was thanks to his tendency to dress like a traffic cone.

"Did...did she say Lincoln?" The girl asked. Great, now the weird girl knew his name. This situation couldn't possibly get any worse. "A-And is that..." The mystery girl's jaw swung open like a rusty drawbridge, her shock suddenly very evident. "Is that _Sid_!?"

...oh hey, the situation somehow managed to get worse.

* * *

"I thought you said the visor was supposed to prevent this exact kind of thing." Lincoln muttered towards his wrist, trying to take advantage of the girl's surprise.

 _It prevents casual recognition_ _._ Seven replied. _Clearly this girl knows your friend. Alternatively, the visor isn't function properly because you altered the costume template. I hope your satisfied._

"You know wha—AH!" Lincoln's retort was cut off as Sid's gigantic, smiling face descended from on high, coming to a rest only a little ways above the rooftop they were currently occupying.

"OOOOOH!" Sid exclaimed with interest. "WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE?"

"Sid!?" The mystery girl repeated, evidently still in shock.

"You, uh, you know this strangely dressed person, Sid?" Lincoln asked, shooting his friend(?) a sideways glance.

"OF COURSE!" Sid giggled in response. "CAN'T YOU TELL IT"S ROOOOOO..."

The giantess trailed off nervously as the other girl snapped herself out of her funk, and began violently yanking her hand across her own throat, eyes flashing with murderous anger. Despite the massive difference in size between the pair, Sid was instantly cowed. Curious...

"Sid?" Lincoln prompted. "You were saying?"

Sid cleared her throat. "O-OBVIOUSLY I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT THIS IS OUR LOCAL SUPERHERO!" Once again, Lincoln looked the girl up and down. Stupid costume, check. Corny lines, double check. Yeah, that seemed to check out.

"SHIMMER SPARKLE RAINBOW PRINCESS, MAGICAL RON-RON!"

* * *

Silence fell upon the rooftop. Lincoln genuinely had no idea how to respond to...that, even with the insanity that normally characterized his day to day life. But "Ron-Ron" was growing redder by the second, her hands clenching her wand so tightly that it seemed like she would break the thing in half at this rate. Seemed like he should say _something_.

"It's...uh..." Lincoln fumbled, trying to find the words that would avoid escalating this...whatever it was. "It's nice to meet you. Ron-Ron."

"I didn't pick the name, okay?!" The raven-haired girl snarled, shooting a death glare at the giant Sid before turning her attention back to Lincoln. Great, that was e _xactly_ what he wanted.

"You!" She turned her wand in his direction once more, impressing Lincoln with the way she managed to make such a silly looking item seem so menacingly. "What the heck happened to her?"

"I GOT BIG!"

"I noticed!" Ron-Ron growled. She jabbed her wand at Lincoln. " _How_?"

Lincoln took a moment to consider the situation. " _Sometimes when I kiss girls I turn them into giant superheroes"_ seemed like an answer that, while accurate, would only unnecessarily complicate things.

"NO CLUE." Sid shrugged. And at that moment, Lincoln saw no need to correct her. "MAYBE IT WAS SOMETHING I ATE?"

"Did tonight's menu happen to include nuclear waste?" Ron-Ron asked rhetorically. Unfortunately for her, such linguistic conventions typically didn't mean much to people like Sid Chang.

"UM...NO?" The giantess stroked her chin thoughtfully. "MAYBE I GOT BIT BY SOME KIND OF RADIOACTIVE ANIMAL?"

"Right." Ron-Ron rolled her eyes, turning back to Lincoln, much to his distress. "Well, traffic cone? What's your take on this?"

Lincoln bristled at the, admittedly apt insult, but held his tongue. "No, I can honestly say she wasn't bitten by anything."

"JUST LINCOLN." Sid added. The saddest thing, Lincoln ruminated as Ron-Ron turned her shaking, blood-shot gaze upon him, was that in all likelihood, Sid genuinely thought she was being helpful.

"You...did... _what_ to her?!" Ron-Ron roared, suddenly seeming a lot less silly now that there were palpable waves of killing intent rolling off of her in droves.

"I didn't do anything like that to her, honest!" Lincoln protested. Turning to the giant brunette for help. "Sid! Tell her!"

"NO, HE'S RIGHT." Sid responded after a moment of consideration. The atmosphere instantly lightened, and Lincoln found himself breathing a sigh of relief. "I ACTUALLY BIT HIM. WHILE WE WERE MAKING OUT."

Ron-Ron rounded on him once more with an angry stamp of her foot, and Lincoln immediately curled into a ball, long honed instincts from years of living with sisters prone to violently flying off the handle at a moment's notice, finally kicking in. The key things, in his experience, was to protect your kidneys and your groin, those were the trouble spots. Particularly since there was something about this, clearly violence prone girl, that he was finding to be strangely terrifying _and_ arousing in equal measure.

Fortunately, at that moment there was an explosion as something burst through the rooftop only scant feet away from where they were standing. When the dust settled, Lincoln found himself looking at a _distressingly_ familiar tall, curvaceous woman, currently cracking her knuckles in anticipation.

"Oh good!" Lincoln called out. "Someone's here to kill and/or kidnap me!"

What surprised Lincoln most of all, was that he genuinely meant it.


	27. Chapter 27

Maggie stared agog at the grainy, CRT monitor before her. Ordering the QT's to split up had been a good idea, ordering this particular one to "go to the top of that building" had, somewhat predictably in hindsight, been a mistake, given their penchant for taking instructions far too literally. However, frustration had miraculously turned to serendipity.

"Fiona!" She shouted excitedly. "Number 3 found Lincoln!" Maggie took a moment to steady herself. She was elated, which was a very unusual emotion for her to feel, and she couldn't let that interfere with the operation. She needed to play it cool. Now reasonably calm, Maggie leaned down and spoke into the mic.

"QT3." She instructed the minion. "Walk over to Lincoln and give him a big hug. Then, look deep into his eyes and—"

"Belay that." Fiona grumbled, shoving the younger girl out of the way and taking her place at the monitoring station.

"'Belay'?" Maggie asked peevishly, rubbing her now sore arm. "What are you, a pirate?"

"As weird as it is to find him here, we're not nabbing the twerp this time. Him being here is entirely incidental." Fiona took a moment to study readout on the device. Whatever they were looking for was definitely here. Which meant it was either Lincoln, or the... _really_ strangely dressed girl. Like, seriously, Fiona herself was occasionally required to parade around in skintight spandex for her job, and that had _nothing_ on the monstrosity before her. So many frills. So much pink. So much...skin. Yikes. That girl had to be like, twelve, thirteen at most.

"Maybe Lincoln's the thing we're looking for." Maggie insisted, shooting Fiona a pleading look. She almost dismissed the younger girl's suggestion outright. When Darkness had given them this particular assignment, Lincoln was almost certainly still in Royal Woods, whereas the energy signature they were currently hunting for had already been in Great Lakes City. It was _highly_ unlikely that he had anything to do with the mysterious energy, which left the fashion disaster as the likely suspect. On the _other_ hand, Lincoln Loud had repeatedly proven to be a thorn in their side. Constantly thwarting their plans, seemingly always having a counter measure in place for whatever Darkness threw at him. It seemed...unwise, to leave him to his own devices. Let him go and they might quickly end up having to deal with one or more of his sisters, and at a time when none of the QTs were packing dark seeds to even the odds. No...neutralizing him might actually be the smarter play.

"Fine." Fiona sighed, trying very hard to ignore the look of glee that spread across Maggie's face. It just seemed so...out of place, on the normally dour girl. "We'll both of them. Just to be on the safe side."

Maggie sidled up alongside Fiona and moved to grab the mic, but Fiona slapped her hand away, firmly grabbing hold of the device for herself.. "QTs 1 and 2, converge on Number 3's position. QT3, keep those two busy in the meantime." Fiona let out a small chuckle, rubbing her hands together eagerly. "Violently, if necessary."

* * *

Ronnie Anne slid forward, trying to put herself between Lincoln the the intruder without drawing too much attention to the fact that she was doing so. She was upset, and the two of them still needed to have a long, _long_ talk about what had happened with Sid. But this girl had just busted through the rooftop like it was made of paper, seemingly no worse for wear from doing so, and she didn't want to see what kind of damage someone like that could do to someone as fragile as her pale haired friend.

"Lincoln?" She asked, trying to sound nonchalant. "Probably a dumb question, but do you often have your life threatened by..." She trailed off as she looked the new arrival up and down. "Pornstars? Streetwalkers?

"She's not human." Lincoln replied. Ronnie couldn't see his face, but he sounded remarkably calm, given the circumstances. "They're...uh, robots, I think? Or possibly some kind of alien monster? We're not totally sure, to be honest, but we called the last one a 'QT'. Apparently there's more of them."

Ronnie spare a quick glance, puzzled glance over her shoulder. "QT?"

Lincoln shrugged. "Luna's girlfriend came up with it." As he said that, Lincoln peered upward and his face took on a contemplative expression. Minutes passed, and he said nothing further, seemingly frozen in that position.

"Lincoln?" Ronnie leaned over and snapped her fingers in front of the boy's face. Much to her relief, Lincoln immediately jerked back to life, blinking rapidly as he refamiliarized himself with his surroundings.

"You...didn't see any of that...did you?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Nnnnnoooo." Ronnie replied, slowly, now growing genuinely worried about her friend's mental state.

"Right. I forgot other people can't see my flashbacks. So..."

* * *

_Several days earlier..._

I don't think I get it." Luna confessed as she strummed her guitar. It was her day to hang out with Lincoln, and she'd decided they'd spend that at Sam's place. Partially because there was a strange sort of...completeness, that she only felt when she was with both of her significant others, but mostly because she knew Sam wouldn't let her hear the end of it if she bogarted their Lincoln. To that end, they were hanging out in Sam's room, she and Lincoln relaxing companionably upon the blonde's bed, while Sam stood a short distance away, pleading her case.

"Because she was _cute._ " Sam replied holding up her hands and cupping the air a good distance away from her own, already ample chest. To ensure there were no illusions as to what she was talking about, she also wiggled her ass in a very exaggerated manner, eliciting a blush from Lincoln. "A 'cutie'. Hence, QT." She looked down and began to feel up her imaginary boobs, chewing her lower lip contemplatively. "And she was _thicc_. So... _Thicc QT_."

There was a moment of silence as Lincoln and Luna pondered this.

"It's a little dumb." Said Lincoln, shrugging apologetically.

"Super dumb." Luna deadpanned. "I want a divorce."

"You can't divorce me until you marry me!" Sam protested.

"Fine." Luna rolled her eyes. "Then marry me so I can divorce you."

"Fat chance!" Sam bounded across the room in a surprising display of agility and snatched Lincoln off the bed, holding the younger boy against her chest. "I'll be too busy marrying Lincoln and pumping out adorable white haired babies! And I'm not sharing!"

"The...kids, or my little bro?"

"Yes!"

Luna tossed her guitar aside and leapt to her feet with a growl. "Oh _now_ you've—"

* * *

"Lincoln! I have zero context for any of this!" Shimmer Sparkle Rainbow Princess, Magical Ron-Ron angrily interjected, interrupting the pale haired boy's story. "Why do you casually hang out and talk about aliens...or...robots, or whatever, and why are you being hit on by _lesbians_?"

"Oh...right." Lincoln let out a nervous titter. "I guess that _would_ sound weird if you weren't around for this stuff. You see..."

Before he could continue, the woman in yellow suddenly began to move, settling into a combat stance as she cracked her knuckles, menacingly.

"...on second thought, I should probably just answer your question. Yes, this kind of thing happens a lot."

"Fantastic." Ron-Ron deadpanned, rolling her eyes. She gripped her weapon in both hands and turned her full attention to the rather imposing woman standing across from them. Lincoln took, what he perceived to be an unspoken instruction, and took a few steps back, hoping to avoid getting in.

"So..." He ventured as the pair squared off. "Do you have a way you typically tackle this sort of situation? Do you transform into your combat form? Do you summon your giant robot? Do you have a squad of color coded teammates you can call in to back you up?"

_I bet_ they _don't double up on colors._ Seven muttered. Fortunately, it seemed that the heroine had failed to hear the embittered machine.

"Usually I hit people." She said. "With this." She jiggled her rod for emphasis. If her goal was to reassure Lincoln, it wasn't working.

"With your...uh, wand?"

"It's a rod!" She shouted, peevishly. "My...Ribbon Rod." Again she gave her weapon a wiggle, drawing Lincoln's attention to the small length of ribbon attached to it, presumably the item's namesake.

"It's very nice." Lincoln replied as diplomatically as possible.

"S-shut up!" Ron-Ron turned back to him, her face bright red with anger. "If you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it!"

Lincoln paused to consider the situation. "As a matter of fact, I do." He raised his voice. "Hey, Sid? A little help?"

Lincoln swayed a little as an intense pressure began bearing down on the rooftop, the air suddenly growing very heavy. Clearly he wasn't the only one, as Ron-Ron suddenly let out a squawk of surprise and frantically began to windmill her arms, trying to keep her balance. Lincoln stepped forward, grabbed the girl around her midsection to steady her, then took a big step backwards, pulling her along with him.

It wasn't a moment too soon, as only heartbeats later, an enormous white glove descended from the sky like the proverbial fist of God. The yellow clad woman barely had time to react, taking a blind, backwards leap off the rooftop, only moments before the bus-sized fist crashed into the rooftop, effortlessly plowing through the structure and leaving an appropriately gigantic hole in its wake.

"LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!" The giantess thundered, perhaps somewhat redundantly, given that if she'd been successful, there wouldn't be an opponent to obey her demand.

Ron-Ron, still held by Lincoln, leaned her head backwards and glared up at him balefully, inadvertently giving him an unobstructed view down her top, and of her form, at which puberty was _clearly_ very hard at work.

"Not one word." She hissed.

* * *

"How the heck did we miss _her_?" Fiona exclaimed, as only now did the QT Cam manage to catch a glimpse of the blue clad giantess that had apparently been standing out of frame all this time. "She's the size of a building!"

"You told the QTs to beat up Lincoln. They're very literally minded." Maggie shrugged indifferently. "Besides, _we_ didn't miss anything, _you're_ the one who took over this thing."

Fiona frowned, realizing the truth in the younger girl's words, but unwilling to acknowledge it. Then she got an idea.

"You know..." She began, tapping one cheek thoughtfully. "I don't think I've ever seen that girl before."

Maggie shrugged again. "Seems like there's a lot of them. To the point where they've even started doubling up on colors, apparently."

"Point taken." Fiona acknowledged. "But I'm surprised that you're so calm about this."

"Why wouldn't I be? There's only so many colors in the spectrum."

"Not _that_." Fiona caught herself, forcing her voice to remain level. "I'm surprised you're okay with there being another gigant."

Maggie looked perplexed. "Again, why wouldn't I be? They only ever send out one or two at a time, so the total number shouldn't make a difference."

"Right." Fiona smirked. "But do you remember what those gigant girls have to do to transform?"

"Well, they transform by..." Maggie trailed off, choking on her words as realization seemingly dawned upon her. She looked like a dying fish, her mouth opening and closing in rapid succession while her eyes bulged in surprise. It was delectable. Her pride satisfied, Fiona made to turn back to the control console so she could give QT additional orders—

"That... _hussie_!" Maggie screeched, her normally pallid skin suddenly flushed with more color than Fiona had ever seen on the girl previously. "How _dare_ she take advantage of Lincoln like that!"

Fiona knew she should let the uncharacteristic temper tantrum run its course. "Didn't you kidnap him by shoving him into your boobs?" But knowing you should do something and actually following through with it are two entirely different things.

"That was totally different!"

" _How_?" Fiona asked, now genuinely puzzled.

"Because _I'm his girlfriend!_ "

There were a lot of ways to dig at that statement, most telling being that they had almost never seen Lincoln with the same gigant on consecutive occasions, which...certainly implied things about the younger boy. But before she could begin to construct a reply, Maggie literally leapt at her.

"Give me the mic!" She roared, trying to wrest the mic away from Fiona. "QT! Beat her up! Punch her in that stupid whore fact of her's!"

"Belay that." Fiona growled, shoving Maggie to the ground.

"Stop belaying me!"

Fiona rolled her eyes and turned back to the console. "Change of plans QT3, I need you to retreat. Pick a direction and run away as fast as you can."

"But her faaaaace!" Maggie whined, lying prone on the ground.

* * *

"So..." Ronnie began. "You going to let me go anytime soon?" She was grateful that Lincoln had prevented her from inadvertently getting pounded like a tortilla, the segment of rooftop that was now missing due to Sid's intervention spoke volumes as to how badly that might have turned out for her. And it wasn't that she didn't _enjoy_ being held tightly against the pale haired boy, but...it was a little embarrassing to be in this position. Especially dressed as she was.

"Sorry." Lincoln released her, and Ronnie instantly regretted saying anything as the boy's comforting body warmth was immediately replaced by the chill night air. Trying not to let her disappointment show, she turned to the boy, who seemed surprisingly abashed.

"I didn't mean to do that." He explained. "You just...remind me of someone, and I guess I fell into old habits. Sorry about that."

"It's fine." Ronnie replied as she straightened her outfit, her indifferent tone decidedly at odds with the hammering in her heart. "But that wasn't exactly a friendly hug. I must remind you of someone...really close to you."

"T-to be honest..." Lincoln's cheeks took on a faint, pink tinge, and Ronnie suddenly found herself short of breath. "Y-you kind of remind me of my sister." Wait, what?

"Wait, _what_?" Ronnie said aloud. She could feel one of her hands clenching into a fist, and was very tempted to lean into that feeling.

"But _she_ reminds me of someone else, and _that_ person..." Lincoln let out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, that person is someone I'm really close to. I guess." Well...it wasn't _quite_ what she was looking for, but Ronnie would take the roundabout complement. For now.

Ronnie felt a presence behind her. She turned and saw the enormous, smiling face of Sid, just overhead, beaming down at the pair.

"Something you need?" Ronnie asked, irritably.

"NOPE." She said, very loudly popping the "P" in the word. "I'M JUST ENJOYING THE SHOW." There was an uncharacteristic amount of decidedly non-Sid smug in that reply.

"You know..." Ronnie growled, facing the giant girl head on.

"Uh, girls?" Lincoln interjected, pointing. Ronnie looked in the direction indicated, and was surprised to see that the yellow-clad woman had not only survived her tumble off the rooftop, but was now taking off down the street at inhuman speed.

"Should have known it wasn't going to be that easy." She grumbled. Ronnie moved to chase after her, but was stopped as a giant, gloved hand gently came down in front of her.

"I'LL TAKE TAKE OF IT." Said Sid, winking in a manner that wouldn't have been discrete at her normal size, let alone at 50-feet tall. "YOU KIDS KEEP TALKING."

"You sure about that, Sid?" Lincoln asked, worriedly. "You've got the size advantage, but those girls are pretty tough."

"I'LL BE FINE, LINC." Sid flexed her arm demonstratively. "I KNOW KUNG-FU!"

"No, you don't." Ronnie deadpanned.

"SURE I DO!" The giantess waved dismissively. "AND CHOW-MEIN. AND MU-SHU PORK, AND AT LEAST THREE OTHER CHINESE WORDS!"

"Wait, Sid!" Ronnie called out, but to no avail. The supersized brunette spun on one heel and dashed off, her thunderous footfalls echoing loudly as she gave chase to the alien and/or robot thing.

"Wow." Lincoln murmured as the pair watched her depart, their current vantage point giving them an unparalleled view of giantess' spandex clad backside, the giant girl's movements causing it to undulate enticingly as she dashed off into the night.

"Yeah." Ronnie replied, absentmindedly nodding in agreement. "Something about the size...it's kind of hard to take your eyes off of it." And for a time, the pair simply stood there, joined in a strange sort of solidarity borne from their mutual appreciation for their very attractive friend. Eventually, Sid turned the corner and the spell was broken, Ronnie and Lincoln wincing in unison as the giantess' abrupt turn was immediately followed by a chorus of car alarms blaring in the distance.

"You think she'll be okay?" Lincoln asked, frowning in concern.

_CRASH_

Ronnie didn't have time to reply before another segment of the already dilapidated roof exploded, two dark shapes unnecessarily erupting from within. When the dust cleared, Ronnie and Lincoln found themselves standing before two more busty, yellow glad women, _identical_ to the one that had been menacing them only minutes earlier.

"...I think she'll be better off than we are, at least." Ronnie grumbled, sighing in resignation as she readied her weapon once more.


	28. Chapter 28

Ronnie Anne Santiago, currently in her guise as Shimmer Sparkle Rainbow Princess, Magical Ron-Ron glared fearlessly at the pair of identical, buxom, yellow clad women who were standing across the remains of the rooftop from her. Outwardly, at least, internally she was desperately trying to fight off the urge to freak out in a very visible, and spectacular manner. The situation had already been bad when she'd been facing a single one of these things, and now her odds had gotten twice as bad.

"So, Lame—er, Lincoln." She tried to say as nonchalantly as possible, hoping the snow-topped boy wouldn't notice her slip up. "Any more bright ideas?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lincoln glance around, as if hoping another friendly giantess would stroll by to lend them a hand.

"Nope." He said at last, shrugging helplessly. Ronnie couldn't help but feel at least a little disappointed by that, it seemed like even The Man With The Plan had his limits. "You gonna try that—" He pantomimed swinging a baseball bat "—'hitting them', thing?"

"Something like that." She muttered. Ronnie took her Ribbon Rod in one hand and gave it a little flourish. At her unspoken mental command, the rod extended considerably, quickly expanding from its original length to one more befitting a quarterstaff.

"Wow! Cool!" Ronnie took great pains to refrain from outwardly acknowledging the boy's praise, but she nevertheless stood a little straighter after that.

With a flick of her wrist she sent the staff twirling end over end, maneuvering it in such a way to allow it to spin seamlessly around her body. Finally, she allowed the weapon to come to a stop, and laid it to rest on her shoulder.

"Bring it!" She shouted, gesturing threateningly with her free hand.

* * *

"Hit her! No, no, dodge the—NO! Hit her!"

Fiona facepalmed, groaning softly as she watched the strangely dressed girl lay into the QTs with a fury that was unfitting of her girly appearance. It was undeniably impressive, watching her fight, the staff in her hands would blur, and moments later QTs would be sent flying with a viciousness that belied the simplicity of the weapon, the girl often capitalizing on their helplessness, chasing after them with inhuman speed and buffeting them with a flurry of followup attacks. Had she not been facing multiple opponents, and thus forced to expend twice as much energy to maintain her offensive, it was entirely possible that the fight might have ended in her favor by this point. The QTs were pretty competent fighters in their own right, being far stronger and more durable than humans were, even without the advantage of darkseeds, but...

"No!" Maggie howled, slapping the side of the machine in frustration. "Your other left!"

...fighting a battle yourself was one thing. Vicariously fighting a battle by yelling commands at another person, it turned out was much more difficult.

"Use both hands! No, your other hands!" Especially when you were as antisocial as Maggie. The girl was terrible at communicating in normal social situations. Watching her scream unintelligible commands at their minions was painful, and watching her communication skills degrade further as she grew increasingly frustrated, locked in a strange sort of perpetual failure loop, even more so.

"Maggie." She said at last, patting the younger girl on the shoulder in an attempt to get her attention. "Maybe you should let me take over."

"I can do it!" The pale girl snarled. On screen, the girl in the frilly dress swung her staff in a wide arc, knocking both QTs up into the air. She then used her staff to pole vault up after them, and slammed them back into the ground with a might roar.

"I can see that." Fiona remarked sardonically.

"I can!" Maggie insisted. "It's just stupid and hard to do this with voice commands. If I could just take manual control—"

"Manual controls engaged." Spake a tinny voice from the control console. Strange, Fiona hadn't been aware that the machine could talk. She was about to say as much, when to her surprise, the front of the console jutted out and unfolded, revealing two joysticks, each accompanied by six brightly colored buttons, lined up in two neat rows of three. The pair stood there in silence, watching the transformation take place. Then...

"I call player one!" Maggie said hurriedly, reaching for the joystick.

Fiona slapped her hand away. "Fat chance. Gotta maintain the chain of command."

"Aw"

* * *

Ronnie Anne Santiago was feeling pretty confident. Despite being outnumbered, and seriously out muscled, so far she'd managed to hold her own against the maybe robots and/or aliens (she really needed to have a talk with Lincoln about what he'd been up to that would make _either_ possibility viable). By taking advantage of the superior reach afforded by her weapon, and the superior agility afforded by having a body that wasn't straight out of a teenager's wet dream, it had been surprisingly easy to keep her slower and uncoordinated opponents on the defensive. By her estimation it wouldn't be much longer before she could wrap this up, and _then_ she and Lincoln could have a nice, long—

Ronnie's train of thought was abruptly interrupted as one of the QTs suddenly leapt to her feet and lashed out at her with a blindingly fast roundhouse kick. Ronnie wasn't even aware the attack had taken place until she was in the process of hopping clear of it, saved only by her deeply ingrained reflexes. Apparently all that time she'd spent dodging _abuela's chanclas_ had paid off.

That was...unexpected, apparently these ladies still had some fight left in them. But it was fine, all she'd have to do was keep her cool, and—

"Ron-Ron look out!"

Sensing movement, Ronnie whirled around and spun her staff defensively—

_CLANG_

Just in time to catch the other QT's fist on it. Ronnie's arms trembled from the force of the impact, barely able to maintain her grip on her weapon, but the other girl didn't look at all bothered by the fact that she'd slammed her bare fist into a solid chunk of magically enhanced metal. That was...unsettling. Almost as unsettling as the fact that dealing with this attack had forced her to take her attention off the other QT...

A gust of wind was the only indication Ronnie received as to her impending danger. With a burst of exertion she pushed back the girl currently occupying her vision and leapt, magically enhanced leg muscles easily propelling her into the air, whereupon she transitioned into a forward somersault. The movement allowed her to catch as glimpse of the ground below her. Just as she'd suspected, the space she'd been occupying only moments earlier was now occupied by the large, meaty fist of the other QT. She landed with a growl of frustration, and immediately spun around to face her suddenly much more competent opponents, taking care to place her body between the QTs and her all too frail companion.

"You okay, Lincoln?" Ronnie called out, trying to spare a glance backwards without losing sight of her enemies. The boy was standing ramrod straight, his eyes wide open, beads of sweat rolling down his face.

"S-short...skirt." He murmured. "So short..."

"What was that?"

"I'm fine!" He called back, seemingly snapping out of the trance he was in. "You...uh, you still got this, Ron-Ron?"

"Piece of cake." Ronnie replied, turning her full attention back to the approaching QTs, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.

It occurred to Ronnie that now that she was on the defensive and warding off attacks from multiple fronts, it might be prudent to change up her tactics. She grabbed her staff by the midsection with both hands and pulled in opposite direction, separating the staff into two segments. Those segments began to loosen, and in a matter of moment she found herself holding a pair of _nunchaku_. Ronnie spared the pale haired boy one last annoyed glance, remembering _vividly_ that it was _his_ fault she instinctively referred to the weapons by their "proper" names, before fullly turning her attention to the QT's once more.

"Come and get it!" She called out, giving her _nunchaku_ a demonstrative twirl as she settled prepared to combat once more.

* * *

"I'm kinda confused by the theming here." Maggie complained as she and Fiona hammered away at their respective sets of controls.

Fiona winced as the girl on screen, now dual wielding a new set of weapons, beat back her QT's strikes before stepping within the QT's guard and elbowing her hard in the solar plexus. The surprised expression on her minion's face induced a mild degree of sympathy pain in Fiona herself, and it was likely that would have been the end of things had Maggie's QT not stepped in, forcing the girl to retreat instead of capitalizing on her attack.

"Say that again." She growled at her co-worker. "But less nerdly."

"She's got that frilly, princess thing going on." Maggie continued, ignoring the barely veiled insult. "But she's fighting us with ninja weapons."

"Nunchucks." Fiona muttered, half-remembering a very boring date with an ex who _loved_ those stupid kung-fu movies.

" _Nunchaku."_ Maggie corrected her.

"Whatever." Fiona rolled her eyes. "So what's the problem?"

"It doesn't fit her theme. She should be fighting with something more, princessy.

"Like her divine right to rule?" Fiona snarked, slapping her controls with all the grace of an angry walrus.

"Like a sword, or a scepter or something." Maggie let out a little sigh of her own. "And can you please stop button mashing?"

"You play your way, I'll play my way."

* * *

Ronnie landed lightly on her feet, wincing in pain. One of the QT's was attacking haphazardly, which had proven fairly easy to dodge around, but the other was fighting with considerably more finesse, and had managed to tag her, albeit just barely. Even so, it hurt like hell. Taking a hit like that head on was tantamount to suicide. Clearly she needed to try keeping her distance, zoning the pair with her superior range, and then, when she could find an opening, she could...

Ronnie's train of thought drifting off as she spied the QT who had managed to strike her get into a strange stance, knees slightly bent and hands cupped at her side. Much to her surprise, a sphere of crackling, obsidian energy formed in the joined palms of the woman's hand, and rapidly began to expand. Within moments, the to the size of a kickball, and with a wordless roar the woman swung her hands forward, launching the orb in Ronnie's direction.

"Oh crap!" She called out, desperately leaping to avoid the blast.

* * *

"How the hell did you do that?" Fiona demanded, marveling as the frilly dressed girl tried to leap clear of the projectile fired by Maggie's QT, but couldn't quite manage it in time, catching the blast in her torso. Upon impact, the orb exploded, sending the girl flying. The fact that she wasn't knocked off the rooftop entirely was pure serendipity, her flight path being interrupted by one of the few bits of wall that was left standing after all the abuse the building had suffered that night. However, the expression on the girl's face gave no illusions as to the fact that she was very clearly in a great deal of pain from the experience. As if to add further insult to injury, the impact she suffered from crashing into the wall caused that stupid tiara she wore to pop clear off her head, landing on a floor a short distance away from her and rolling a ways further, as if daring her to chase after it. It was...strangely cathartic, to see someone else getting the kind of beating that was usually reserved for her.

"Quarter-circle forward and punch."

Fiona blinked as the utterance pulled her from her musings. "What?"

"Quarter-circle forward, and punch." Maggie repeated, somewhat more slowly. "You move your joystick a quarter of a circle towards your opponent, and hit the punch button. It's a pretty standard command."

"Again, less nerdly!" Fiona retorted. She then looked down at her controls, and began to try and emulate the motion.

* * *

Ronnie Anne Santiago's world was currently comprised mostly of pain. There was a bit of embarrassment in there too, an amount entirely separate from the passive degree of embarrassment she normally felt when she wore this outfit, but pain seemed to be the prevailing theme of the story that was currently her life. She attempted to sit up, and immediately regretted it, biting down hard to keep herself from screaming at the flashed of agony that rippled through her body when she attempted the motion. Yeah, that clearly wasn't happening right now.

"Ron Ron!"

A familiar voice cut through the fog of pain and delirium, and Ronnie momentarily found herself panicking. Partly because she couldn't bare the thought of Lincolns seeing her in such a state. She used to bully the kid for crying out loud! Him getting to see her in a crumpled heap like this felt too much like karmic payback. But also because from the sound of his voice, Lincoln would have been very close to her, and the fact that she couldn't _see_ the kid who regularly dressed like a traffic cone suggested that, in addition to the indignity of her situation, she also might have been blinded!

Thankfully, this fear was short lived. Lincoln knelt down beside her, inadvertently jostling her prone form, and the movement caused a tiny pinprick of starry starry night to peek through the blackness. It would seem that she'd landed in such a way that left her long, raven hair covering her face. Indignities compounding indignities...

"I'm alive." She wheezed, wincing at the sound of her own voice, she certainly didn't _sound_ alive. "Get away you dope, fight's not over yet!"

"I think we've got a minute." Lincoln murmured, trying to keep his voice low. "One of them is just jumping up and down and punching the air. Might be something wrong with her."

Ronnie had another angry retort prepared, but before she could _use_ it, she felt Lincoln's hand cup her face, and the anger she was feeling suddenly dissipated. She was loathed to admit it, but she thrilled at the feeling of his fingers upon her skin, and unbidden, she turned into his hand, seeking deeper contact.

"S-sorry." He stuttered. "Just let me...there you go." The darkness parted as Lincoln gently brushed the hair out of her face, and Ronnie now found herself staring directly into the eyes of the boy she was so...very... _fond_...of. The part of her that was still thinking logically panicked at his sudden closeness, reminding her that she had a secret identity to protect! Responsibilities to preserve! And, most importantly of all, a very distinct tough-girl image to protect!

...but a more pervasive part of her brain assured her it was okay. Lincoln didn't know who she was, _couldn't_ know who she was, if what _abuela_ told her was true. Her tiara was enchanted with a _glamour_ that would prevent anyone from casually recognizing her, so as long as she still had that, she could allow herself this one moment of weakness. A rare moment of closeness with the sole male Loud. Gazing upon his stupid freckles. Those dumb, bucked teeth of his. His thin, sensual lips, parted in a _really_ cute expression of surprise and disbelief—

"R-Ronnie Anne?!"

Ronnie Anne Santiago froze, stiff as a board. She waited a few moments, hoping Lincoln's expression would change, that there was some further utterance that would re contextualize his outcry in a way that _didn't_ result in him having learned her secret identity. When that moment failed to come, she reached up with one trembling hand, and gingerly felt around her forehead. The tiara was gone.

"Dangit." She grumbled, desperately wishing that Sid's giant fist would crash down from the heavens once more and put her out of her misery.


	29. Chapter 29

Bobby Santiago stepped out into the cool night air, closed the door to the family store behind him and locked it, letting out a quiet sigh contentment as the tumblers clicking into place marked the completion of his work day. It was several whole moments before the despondency set in, but that was an improvement. Probably.

Life had been a little more...difficult as of late. The breakup with Lori certainly hadn't helped, but it would be unfair and dishonest to attribute his feelings solely to that. The decision had been mutual, and while people often say that after the fact to make the separation easier to swallow, it was earnestly true in this case. He'd loved Lori, and he'd known for a fact that those feelings had been returned to some degree, but as of late the relationship just hadn't been working out. The fact was, the two of them were in different places now, literally and figuratively, and ending things before the relationship had degraded into something that was unsalvagable was the right decision.

The problem was that Bobby hadn't realized the degree to which his life had previously revolved around Lori. Without the stunning blonde to occupy his thought and his free time, he'd suddenly found himself with an abundance of...nothing. No friends, no hobbies, not even any vices. Just the _Mercado_. And so, Bobby Santiago currently found himself in a strange sort of social limbo, desperately trying to discover what he was supposed to be doing with himself.

Bobby flinched as a gust of wind suddenly blew against his back, pulling him from his thoughts. Footsteps in rapid staccato. Heavy breathing. Not so quiet desperation. He turned to the unexpected disturbance and found himself briefly locking eyes with a woman. Fair skin, brunette hair, an _amazing_ body even by his rather high standards, and a criminally short, yellow mini-dress. She was gorgeous, even in spite of the fact that she was running _away_ from him.

...Well, not _from_ him, he doubted the terror stricken woman had even registered his presence, but _from_ his current location, at least, and that gave Bobby pause. There was _something_ here, a story, an experience. Perhaps this was exactly the sort of thing Bobby had been looking for, some purpose, some excitement The woman wasn't that far off, he could probably still catch her if he went after her right now. He could find out what it was that had her so spooked. Maybe that leads somewhere. A coffee. A date. A _life_. All he had to do was—

_THOOM!_

Bobby let out a girlish shriek as a gigantic shape crashed down in front of him. It was only there for an instant, but in its wake stood the remains of what _had_ been a very solid automobile only moments earlier. Remains which could have easily been the much squishier, and stickier remains of Bobby Santiago, had he been only slightly more impulsive.

"GET BACK HERE YOU PIPSQUEAK!" Roared a thunderous, but undeniably feminine voice. Tilting his still quivering head only slightly upward, Bobby could make out a shape in the night, female and utterly enormous, easily fifty feet tall. And though her super sized strides had already carried her a good distance away, the ground still trembled from her presence.

In that moment, it occurred to Bobby that excitement was _highly_ overrated. He quickly unlocked the door of the _Mercado_ once more, and slipped inside. The store was warm, and inviting. He'd make his way home, eventually, but for now he'd stay here. Away from...whatever that was.

* * *

"Any chance you could stop staring at me like that?" Ronnie asked the sputtering Loud boy dryly, trying to keep her voice level. " _And let me go?_ " Her brain helpfully supplied, but somehow the words never made their way to her mouth.

"Ronnie Anne!" Lincoln exclaimed, his eyes cartoonishly wide with surprise.

"That's my name, Lame-o." She quipped, discretely biting down on her lip. She _liked_ it when he shouted her name like that.

"You— _you're_ M-magical...Ron...Ron..." Lincoln trailed off, his eyes crossing and going unfocused.

"Uh, Lioncoln?" Ronnie prompted, suddenly worried. That didn't look right.

"I'm f-fine." Lincoln began blinking rapidly as he slowly shook his head to and fro. "I guess that...just sounded a lot less stupid before I actually said it."

"I didn't pick the name." Ronnie grumbled, glancing worriedly to the side. Thankfully, the QTs remained occupied, one of them ineffectually punching and kicking at nothing while the other merely observed her.

* * *

"There might be some kind of easy input mode we can switch you to."

"S-shut up! I can do it!"

* * *

Mentally shrugging, Ronnie turned her attention back to the still distraught boy, who was seemingly unaware that he had yet to relinquish his hold on her.

"I have a feeling that you might have some questions..." She began diplomatically.

"I have _many_ questions!"

"We're being attacked by alien...robot...lady... _things_ and my friend is off somewhere playing Godzilla." Ronnie retorted, her eyes narrowing. "Both of which are somehow _your_ fault."

Lincoln paused thoughtfully, seemingly considering this. "I have _fewer_ questions." He conceded at last.

Ronnie sighed, shaking her head in annoyance. "You're lucky you're cute."

"Thank..you?" Lincoln replied, confused. "I'm sorry, this is all really weird, and kind of hard to wrap my head around."

"You want to talk about _weird?_ " Ronnie snarled, feeling that familiar rage begin to bubble up again. "How about you kissing my friend!"

"She kissed me!" Lincoln protested.

"And that's makes it _better_?"

"Yes?" Lincoln's eyes briefly crossed again as his brain tried to catch up. "I mean, it should, right? I didn't even know we were on a date until she was on top of me—!"

Lincoln paused, momentarily. "That...could have been phrased better. But it's not like I wanted to kiss her!"

In a single fluid motion, Ronnie leapt to her feet, grabbed Lincoln by his shirt collar with one hand, and hoisted him into the air.

"And why—" She growled, giving the boy a firm shake. "—wouldn't you want to kiss Sid? She's adorable! She has shoulders for days! She does that thing with her tongue!"

"Yeah..." Lincoln nodded in enthusiastic agreement. "That really took me by surprise."

"But in a good way, right?"

"Oh absolutely." Lincoln's eyes grew wide. "Uh, speaking of surprise..."

Lincoln didn't get a chance to finish. Fortunately, he didn't need to. Ronnie felt the hackles on the back of her neck begin to rise. Choosing to trust her instincts, she shoved the Loud boy forward while simultaneously leaping backwards.

The decision was quickly vindicated. The instant the pair vacated the area, a second orb of darkness crashed into the space that had just been occupying and exploded, vaporizing another chunk of the rapidly disappearing rooftop.

* * *

"Ha!" Fiona crowed. "How do you like them apples?"

"You could have hit Lincoln!" Maggie hissed, glaring daggers at her co-worker.

"But I didn't!" Fiona countered, smugly. She hunched over, squinting at her control panel. "Now how did I do that ag—ACK!"

That was a mistake. Fiona completely failed to notice the screaming, raven haired projectile that launched herself at the older girl, sending the pair tumbling away from the command console.

* * *

Ronnie shot a quick glance at Lincoln's prone body, now lying on the other side of the roof from her. She breathed a short sigh of relief when the Loud boy stuck his hand in the air and gave her a thumbs up, indicating he was still alive. Then she turned her full attention to the ones responsible for their plight.

The QT's stood there, perfectly still. Mocking her with their smug, immobility. They had just tried to explode her! They had just tried to explode _Lincoln_! Nobody made Lincoln explode except for her!

" _You're not going to bother rephrasing that, are you?"_ Asked the still logical part of Ronnie's brain. She ignored it. This wasn't the time for thinking, this was time for violence!

"We're _trying_ to have a conversation!" Ronnie growled, as she stalked towards the pair. Without breaking her stride, she thrust her hand out, triggering a brief flash of pink light. When it faded, she was once again holding her Ribbon Rod. Now armed, she broke into a sprint, charging straight at her waiting foes.

Ronnie's hands flew across the small brass rod, the sheer speed of her motions obscuring the precise, deliberate movements she was taking, just like grandma had shown her. A gentle touch here, a small tug there. Tickle the tip...just like that, grasp hold of the shaft with both hands, and... _pull!_

Upon completing the sequence, a violent _explosion_ of magenta energy erupted from the device in her hands. A quick glance downward was all she needed to confirm that the spell had worked. The small, simple rod she had been holding only moments before was gone, now replaced by a much larger, much heavier, but considerably more intimidating _chainsaw._ Its brass colored base and pink blade, though pleasing to the eye, did nothing to diminish the deadliness of the tool. Ronnie reached out with one hand to grab the glittering tassel at its base, and gave it a hard yank, smiling wickedly as the weapon _roared_ to life, the rusty sound of its razor sharp teeth scything through the air like music to her ears.

Ronnie pumped her legs harder, carefully eyeing the remaining distance as the ground flew by underneath her. Just a little further and...now!

With a final pump of her legs, Shimmer Sparkle Rainbow Princess Magical Ron-Ron soared majestically through the air, like an eagle carrying a chainsaw. Gravity quickly took note and exerted its grasp on her, pulling her back towards the ground, but that was precisely what Ronnie wanted. As she made her descent, Ronnie hefted her blade up and over her head, and gave the starter ribbon one last yank, causing the roaring of the engine to double in volume, the whirling teeth of the blade now beginning to crackle and spark as the weapon sheathed itself in bright pink lightning.

"Ribbon Cutter!" Ronnie spat as she fell upon the pair of QT's like a thunderbolt, swinging her ancestral weapon with all her might. There was the briefest moment of resistance, and then... _nothing_.

Ronnie landed lightly on her feet and slid forward several feet, riding out the momentum of her landing until she finally skidded to a stop, still holding her.

"Three...two...and..." She softly counted off. "...one."

A chorus of strangled cries, and then...

_BOOM!_

Ronnie planted her feet, surprised by the sheer force of the explosion, but held fast, trying to ignore the way her hair and skirt were wildly flapping in the wake of the resulting shock wave. Nevertheless, she weathered the storm until the outpouring of force finally abated, the pressure against her back finally ceasing. Letting out a soft, sigh of relief, she glanced over her shoulder.

The yellow-clad twins were gone, the only indication that they had ever been there being a pair of large, black scorch marks against the ground, and two small piles of fine black powder, which was already being blown away by the gentle night breeze.

Ronnie allowed herself a small, satisfied smirk. "Dusted." She said, giving her weapon a victorious twirl as it collapsed back down into its travel sized rod form.

* * *

"Game Over (Please Insert Credit)" read two of the three displays on the command console back at Darkness Inc. The third was conspicuously black, despite clearly being active. Unfortunately, none of this information went seen, as the two operators were rolling around in the floor, grappling with one another, the office air filled with the sound of hair being pulled and clothes being torn.

"Get _off_ of me you spazz!" Fiona shrieked. She started in surprise as a single index finger was jammed into her face.

"Pew." Growled Maggie, smirking as black energy began to coalesce around the extended digit.

* * *

Lincoln had seen and experienced many strange things since he'd inadvertently signed on to save the world from an evil space being. Seeing his (sort of) ex-"girlfriend" (it's complicated) carve up a pair of enemy minions with a brightly colored chainsaw very much topped the list, in spite of how TV-friendly the actual violence had been. His anxiousness had only _slightly_ abetted when the weapon had transformed back into it's much less threatening original form, as he was still very much aware of the damage an angry Ronnie Anne Santiago could cause with a blunt object.

 _I admire her efficiency._ Said Seven, startling the nerve-shot, pale haired boy. _Have you considered recruiting her?_

"Not _now_ , Seven." Lincoln hissed. Whether or not she had heard him, Lincoln couldn't say, but Ronnie spun around and began walking back towards him, and for a brief moment Lincoln seriously considered the pros and cons of throwing himself off the rooftop. He was pretty sure he could survive the fall, he lived through worse not that long ago. It would probably still hurt, but on the other hand, _chainsaw._ And yet—

Lincoln's train of thought was abruptly derailed a pair of dusky, well-toned legs stepped into view. Moments later he again hoisted into the air, for the second time that night finding himself looking down at a very cross-looking Ronnie Anne.

"H-hey Ron—AH!" He squawked as the girl yanked him close, pulling his face right up against her own.

"I _like_ you and Sid together." She said, softly. "She likes you a lot, and I've never seen her happier than she was tonight. But..."

"But?" Lincoln nervously prompted, unable to help himself.

"But..." Ronnie swallowed loudly. "I get to be happy too!"

A very stupid followup question was already on the tip of Lincoln's tongue. Thankfully, he never got to ask it, as Ronnie closed the last few millimeters that remained between them, and pressed her lips against his. Lincoln instinctively wrapped his arms around the Santiago girl and leaned into the kiss, reciprocating as best he could, still held in her iron grip as he was. He never got an answer to that question, but the happy moans coming from Ronnie, combined with the frantic dancing going on betwixt their joined mouths gave him a pretty strong hint to go off.

They remained that way for a time, allowing some long standing issues to very enthusiastically work themselves out, and then...far too soon for either of their liking, they parted, the pair sharing a puzzled glance. As much as he was enjoying himself, Lincoln felt...something, a sensation that had nothing to do with his raging hormones. And from the way she was looking at him, Lincoln suspected Ronnie was feeling the same thing. As one, the duo slowly craned their necks upward, and that was when Lincoln caught a glimpse of the large, shadowy object looming above them, its sheer mass blotting out the night sky.

"Hey Sid." Lincoln and Ronnie called out in unison, their night vision adjusting enough to make out the beaming face of the giant Asian girl.

"Something wrong?" Lincoln added, nervous once more at he saw the giantess' smile of delight turn to a disappointed pout.

"I WAS HOPING YOU'D MAKE RONNIE GIANT TOO." She complained.

Lincoln glanced at the now blushing Hispanic girl, before quickly looking away. "Nope! Sorry Sid!" He called back. "That only happens when I...uh, loose control. I should be good now." Lincoln coughed as the hand still gripping his shirt collar tightened considerably, and he now found himself looking at a freshly frowning Ronnie Anne.

"Just how many girls are you having these 'accidents' with?" Ronnie asked, her voice dangerously quiet. Yeah, this was definitely not the time to touch that particular topic.

"Sid!" Lincoln called out desperately. "What's that you've got there?"

"OH!" One gigantic fist descended towards the rooftop, and loosened enough to reveal the dazed QT contained within. "I CALL HER 'BOOBY'! CAN I KEEP HER?"

"I don't think that's a very good idea." Lincoln replied, internally sighing in relief as Ronnie turned her attention to her giant sized friend.

"No, Sid!" She called out, admonishing the giantess. "You can't keep the weird alien robot lady!"

"AWW!" There was a rush of wind as Sid lowered her enormous face down to the rooftop, her lower lip jutting out in a pout that was as adorable as it was tremendous. "BUT SHE'S SO CUTE AND SEXY!"

"I'LL FEED HER!" Sid continued, punctuating each sentence with a squeeze of her hand. "AND TAKE HER FOR WALKS! AND FEED HER EVERY SINGLE—"

_BOOM_

Sid's tirade was cut short as a familiar explosion of obsidian energy erupted within her hand.

"WHOOPSIE." She said, giggling nervously as she shook out her suddenly empty hand.

"This is why we can't have nice things, Sid!" Ronnie shouted, at her friend, finally releasing Lincoln from her grip. Lincoln slid to the ground and finally let out the breath he'd been holding, watching the comical scene unfold before him as Sid cowered before the comparatively undersized Ronnie. He shook his head, barely managing to contain his amusement. It had been a long, trying night, but it was finally over.

...or so he thought.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" Sid boomed, crossing her hands into a 'T'. Before Ronnie could respond, the giantess reached out and snatched her up in one hand. Lincoln opened his mouth to call out to the giant girl, but quickly found himself snatched up by her remaining hand. There was a brief, but now very familiar feeling of vertigo as Lincoln was lifted into the sky, and the boy quickly found himself staring at a very panicked looking Ronnie Anne. A glance to his side revealed Sid's giant, smiling face, looming just behind the pair.

"NOW WE'RE GONNA PLAY A NEW GAME!" The giantess announced, moving her hands and the diminutive friends held within closer together. "IT'S CALLED, 'LINCOLN AND RONNIE WORK OUT THEIR STUPID ISSUES, WHICH AREN'T NEARLY AS COMPLICATED AS THEY PRETEND THEY ARE'!"

"D-Don't we get a say in this?" Ronnie squeaked, struggling against her friend's iron grip.

"NOPE! NOW PUCKER UP!"

* * *

Several days later, Lincoln found himself relaxing on his motel room bed, in what had quickly become a rare moment of quiet for the pale haired boy. His mom would be back from her errands soon enough, and then they'd be on their way home. But for now he could lay back, and enjoy the silence. Among other things.

"I can't believe you talked me into this." Ronnie muttered from her place at Lincoln's side, her head nestled in the crook of the Loud boy's neck.

"Don't pretend you aren't enjoying it." Sid chirped. The Asian girl, thankfully now back to her normal size had position herself on the boy's opposite side, her head resting on his chest. She reached over and took one of Ronnie's hands in her own, giving her friend a gentle squeeze.

"He has a _harem_." Ronnie grumbled in response. "An actual _harem_! And it's mostly made up of his sisters!"

"Don't kink shame, Ronnie." Sid admonished the Santiago girl. "And you don't have to be a part of this if you really don't want to be, you know." Ronnie didn't reply, but neither did she relinquish her grip on Lincoln. The girl's silence spoke volumes.

After a time, she shook her hand loose from Sid's grip, and thumped the boy on his chest.

"You'd better not hurt me." She said quietly, cupping his face in her hand, and forcing him to look at her. "Or Sid." She added.

Lincoln chuckled nervously and instinctively moved to scratch the back of his head, as was his nervous tic. He wasn't able to, what with Sid clinging to it the way she was.

"I couldn't hurt you if I tried." He said, looking Ronnie in the eye. "But you know I wouldn't."

"I know." Ronnie grumbled, her cheeks flushing red. "But still." With that, she leaned over and planted a soft kiss on the boy's lips. It was brief, fleeting, they didn't have time for much else, but she couldn't help the wide, stupid grin that spread across her face as she pulled away. Quick as lightning, Sid darted in and stole a kiss for herself from the Loud boy. Then, before either of them could react, she spun around and shot forward, stealing one from Ronnie.

"T-this is going to take some getting used to." Ronnie muttered as the grinning Asian girl pulled away, her already flushed skin now practically glowing red.

"Yep!" Sid nodded in agreement, reaching around and pulling her two friends close. "But it's gonna be fun!"

"...I guess it is." Ronnie replied, begrudgingly nodding in agreement, as she leaned into the group hug, and allowed all the weird, wonderful and complicated emotions she was feeling to wash over her.

"By the way." Sid pipped up, drawing Ronnie from her pleasant stupor. "I've decided I'm gonna help you with your super hero stuff! I'm gonna be your sidekick!"

Ronnie let out a condescending chuckle. "Sid, I know you had fun while Lincoln was here, but you can't get big without him around, and he's not exactly local." She gave the boy a gentle nudge in the ribs with her elbow. "Buuut if you wanna run off and make that hour-plus drive every time you want to join me on patrol, you can be my gu—ACK!"

Ronnie let out a strangled cry as a powerful feeling of vertigo washed over her, and the motel ceiling was suddenly much closer. A glance towards the ground revealed a very smug looking Sid underfoot, holding the entire bed, frame and occupants included, over her head with infuriating levels of ease.

"How do you deal with this?" Ronnie asked, turning to her now very bemused boyfriend. Lincoln's response was to smile and shrug.

"One day at a time." He said.


	30. Chapter 30

The creaking of his bedroom door was the only warning Lincoln Loud received before he was violently pulled away from his comic book reading. Quite literally, as one minute he was busy being enthralled by the latest adventure of Ace Savvy, and the next he found the world spinning around him, a powerful force yanking him away from the safety of his bedroom and the thrilling conclusion of his precious comic book. Lincoln would have been more worried if this sort of thing hadn't become such a regular occurrence, though he often wished his kidnappers would use an abduction method that was a little easier on his stomach.

Eventually the spinning stopped, and Lincoln found himself standing on solid ground once more. Long honed instincts kicked in, and Lincoln lowered his head towards the ground, preparing for the inevitable rush of vertigo. Ah, there it was.

"Whoops." His captor said as he began dry heaving, clearly embarrassed. "Guess I was going kinda fast, huh?"

"I-It's fine, Lynn..." He wheezed, raising himself to a standing position as the last of the nausea seemed to pass. He immediately regretted doing so, as his feet immediately buckled under him, and he began to fall. Thankfully, a pair of strong arms caught him, preventing his decent, and he found himself staring into the chestnut tressed, freckled face of his older sister. As unpleasant as he felt, he couldn't say it was an unwelcomed sight.

"Hey, Lynn." He greeted her as he struggled to right himself once more. "What's going ON!"

Lincolns question took an upward turn as the athlete hefted him off the ground and flung him into the air. Thankfully his flight was short lived, and the landing was far softer than he'd anticipated. A quick glance revealed that he was now on Lynn's bed, and from there it was easy enough to extrapolate that he was in her room.

Lincoln coughed nervously, then turned to his sister, who was now making her way towards him. "I repeat, what's going—" Again the boy was interrupted as Lynn was suddenly on the bed and in his face, and only moments later, was latched firmly onto his face, the taste of his sisters lips and the sound of her heavy, but delighted breathing suddenly being the only sensations in his world as he briefly grappled with the older girl.

"Oh." He panted, as she finally allowed him to come up for air. "Are we—"

"Yes." Said Lynn, matter-of-factly, seemingly intent on denying him the opportunity to finish any of his sentences. She clambered forward and nuzzled up against his side, peppering his face with kisses as she began to gently rub his chest.

"I sent everyone else away." She murmured, briefly pausing her ministrations. "Sam too. Lucy helped"

"O-oh?" Lincoln asked, trying to keep his voice level. A feat made far more difficult by just how good Lynn was making him feel.

"Yep." Again Lynn captured his lips, far too briefly for his liking, before she released him once more. "They think Auntie Pam's Parlor is giving away free ice cream to big parties with at least four blondes."

"I want ice cream!" Lincoln cried reflexively, immediately moving to sit up. He quickly found himself running against the immovable force that was Lynn's hand, and with a gentle, but firm shove, the older girl returned him to his reclined position. "Oh, right."

"Yes..." Lynn hissed, licking her lips. "You have more important things to worry about."

"W-what did you have in mind?" Lincoln asked, a strange combination of terror and arousal flooding his system.

Lynn's hand began to drift, tracing a path down Lincoln's chest, past his waist, and coming to rest atop his increasingly tight jeans.

"I...think..." Lynn said in a slow, playful manner, "That I want to give you something to think about next time you're yanking your little Linky in the shower." Lincoln frowned at the implied jab, but any protests were quickly forgotten as Lynn swiftly unbuckled his pants and yanked them down in a single fluid motion.

* * *

"Wow." Lynn said, her breathing decidedly more labored than before. "I take it back."

"You don't have to stare." Lincoln grumbled, embarrassed, as he moved to cover his shame, only to have Lynn swat his hands away.

"No, no." Lynn tried to assure him. "I-I just thought Leni was exaggerating. Those jeans of yours are...deceptive.

It wasn't crazy huge, nothing close to the magnificent rods of which Lynn that had been the subject of so many locker room conversations between her friends, magnificent rods glimpsed from the depths of the internet, or the occasional late night skin flick. Lincoln was still a growing boy, after all, but it seemed a good chunk of that growth was going to a very important place. More importantly, it was _his_. And it was _here_. It called to her, _beckoned_ her, standing proud and erect, unashamed of her rapt attentions, unlike the boy attached to it.

"New plan, Linc." Lynn murmured, licking her lips eagerly. "Just lay back down for me, please."

Lincoln gave her a worried glance, but obeyed regardless, settling back down on the bed. "O-okay Lynn, just tell me—Oooh!"

A thrill went down Lynn's body as she elicited that cry from her little brother, one that went straight to her core. She tightened her grasp on her little brother's penis, mindful not to hurt the poor boy, and gently began to work her fingers up and down the shaft. She grinned as another moan of delight from the pleasure ridden boy tore itself from his oh so kissable lips, and without breaking her rhythm gently laid herself down beside him once more. She turned to Lincoln, gazing blankly at the ceiling, his eyes crossed to such an extent that he almost appeared pupil less, and chuckled, leaning in and planting a quick kiss on her little brother's lips.

"You like that, little bro?" She asked, breathily.

"Uh." Lincoln grunted, seemingly in agreement.

"That make you feel good?" Lynn pressed. "Better than Leni?"

"D-different." Lincoln uttered, shuddering under her touch. Lynn mentally shrugged. Honestly, she hadn't even been expecting that much. And comparing her to Leni, well, that was still a pretty big compliment.

"That's good, little bro." She cooed, planting another kiss on Lincoln's lips. "Just keep thinking about your big sister, and how much she loves..." Lynn trailed off, her eyes widening in surprise as the hot, throbbing member held within her grasp thickened. Not significantly, but definitely noticeably. She gazed down at Lincoln's catatonic face, an odd combination of love and pride warming her veins.

"Really wasn't expecting that." She murmured appreciatively. "Maybe its time we step things up a notch..."

* * *

Lincoln let out a slight gasp as Lynn surrendered her hold on his better half. He tried not to let his disappointment show, but Lynn had proven to be _surprisingly_ talented in that specific field, and it difficult to fight the urge not to plead they continue their little session. Especially considering how erect he remained.

"N-nice job, Lynn." Lincoln panted. "That was...a-amazing. Really amazing."

"It's not over yet, Lincoln." Lynn murmured, planting one more kiss on his lips. This time she lingered, leaning into it, and Lincoln allowed himself to savor the flavor, the sensation of his older sister's very palpable love for him. He reached upward, with both arms, intending to pull her closer, to potentially go further, but before he could Lynn broke the kiss. The older girl gave him a wink, and slid out of his grasp, and then out of view, leaving behind a very confused, very _stymied_ Lincoln.

"Lynn?" He called out. There was no response. He planted his hands on the mattress, intending to push himself upward so he could follow her, but then...

"Easy, Lincoln." Lynn's voice drifted over to him from further down the bed. "I wanna do something for you."

Cautiously, Lincoln allowed himself, to drop back down to the bed. Wondering what she was talking about. He didn't have to wait long.

Lincoln gasped, far louder, and far more emphatically than before as something warm, wet, and wonderful slid over his very hard, and very sensitive penis. He shuddered, visibly shaking as waves of pleasure wracked his body.

" _O-oh!_ _W-wow!"_ Lincoln thought. " _F-feels like she's_..."

Lincoln fought against the euphoria currently threatening to paralyze him and struggled to raise his head. He only managed to work his way a few scant inches from the mattress, his quivering, jelly-like limbs proving to be unreliable, but he managed to catch a glimpse of a familiar, chestnut mane, bobbing up and down, the rhythm of its movements syncing up rather tellingly with the ebb and flow of the sensations coursing through his body. A thumbs up, provided soon after, only served to confirm his suspicions. Yep, Leni definitely had some competition for the position of favorite sister now.

It was at that point that an entirely different, but all too familiar sensation began to make itself known. A spark, an undercurrent of electricity, swimming amid the ocean of pleasure threatening to drown him.

" _S-shit."_ He thought, finding himself incapable of unclenching his jaw. _That_ feeling was _always_ trouble, and here he was, practically invalid by his _amazingly_ talented sister.

" _It'll be fine."_ The sinister part of his brain tried to assure him. " _That only happens when you're kissing the girl, and what you two are doing is absolutely not kissing."_ Lincoln wanted to agree, desperately wanted to surrender himself to the pleasure, come what may. But still...

"L-lynn!" He gasped, trying to utter a warning, but it was too late. Orgasm. Climax. Crescendo. Lincoln's brain went numb as the unmistakable sensation of his long built up tensions finally released, spewing forth from his loins with turbulence and ferocity. Time seemed to crystallize in that instant, a strange moment of extra sensory awareness, in which he was able to appreciate the way Lynn took his assault head on, like the champion she was. And in that moment, he somehow found himself loving her even more.

...Then the moment passed, and bright red sparks began to dance across his sister's slender form.

" _Aw...dang—"_ Was all his brain had time to muster before a much more literal explosion of crimson energy erupted from his genitals.

* * *

Lincoln blinked rapidly, trying to banish the white, featureless void that obscured his sight. To his relief, the void began to fade, and shapes and colors quickly began to take their proper places once more. He could feel the soft mattress underneath his bed, the cool breeze against his damp, well worn junk, and he could see...Lynn?

Lincoln had once more found himself looking up at Lynn. But this time, to a much greater degree. The beautiful, freckled face of the sportiest Loud was slightly askew, pressed up against a ceiling that was suddenly too low to contain her.

Lynn's face broke out into a wide grin as she gazed down upon Lincoln.

"Hey there..." She purred, her voice several octaves lower than normal. "... _little_ brother _."_

Lincoln found himself equal parts scared and aroused by the hungry look on his now amazon sized sister's face. " _Scaroused."_ His brain helpfully supplied.

"H-hey...Lynn." He stammered, desperately trying to move his now useless limbs. "I seem to be having a little trouble at the moment..."

"Your little friend doesn't seem to be having any trouble." Lynn replied, lowering herself down onto all fours., her beautiful, naked body still towering above him, even from her current vantage. "Looks to me like he's ready to go into extra innings."

Lincoln glanced downward, and much to his distress, saw in defiance of all logic, his traitorous appendage had indeed risen to the occasion, and was raring to go once more. He glanced between his throbbing member, and his big sister's eager grin.

"Fine..." He sighed, resigned to his fate. "G-game on, Lynn..."

End.

* * *

**Omake:**

Sid growled in frustration, stretching her arms with all her might, so much so that she could _feel_ her joints threatening to pop out of their sockets...but to no avail. Finally, she relented, leveling a stare of barely repressed fury at her erstwhile foe. An unopened jar of pickles on the top shelf.

"Just get a step ladder, Sid!" Ronnie called from the front of the _Mercado._ "We're gonna miss our bus!"

Sid spun around and angrily stalked towards the front of the store. "This wouldn't happen if I was still giant." She grumbled.

* * *

"Sorry kids." The rollercoaster operator apologized, seeming to be genuine in his sentiment. "You've gotta be this tall for me to let you on the ride."

"It's fine." Ronnie reassured him, still looking disappointed in spite of her words. "Come on, Sid." She said, turning to her friend. "We'll find something else to do."

Sid crossed out her arms and let out an angry huff. "This wouldn't happen if I was still giant."

* * *

"Aaaarg!" Sid groaned, watching the mechanical arm that was about to dispense her tasty snack _stop_ in the middle of its duty...going still and quiet as it wound down its operation.

"Ronnie Anne!" She cried out in distress. "This stupid machine took my money!"

Ronnie strolled on over to her friend and gave the machine a once over.

"Looks like it." She said, shrugging indifferently. "Come on, Sid, we'll get you something at the _Mercado_ , my treat."

"This wouldn't have happened if I was still giant!" Sid shouted, glaring at the offending machine.

Ronnie'd had enough. "How?" She exclaimed. "How would this situation be even the _slightest_ bit different if you were giant?"

Sid slowly straightened up, blinking her eyes in surprise. "You know something?" She asked her friend. "You're absolutely right."

Ronnie sighed in relief. "Finally! Now—"

_SCREEEEEEEEEEE_

Ronnie winced at the sound of screaming metal, as Sid reached over, tore off the front of the machine like it was made of aluminum foil, and casually dropped it to the ground.

_THUMP_

Sid gave Ronnie a victorious smirk as she reached in and retrieved her precious snack. "You were right, Ronnie." She announced grandly. "I didn't need to be a giant for that."

She paused, considering the snack in her hand. "But..."

" _Yes_ , _Sid_?" Ronnie prompted her friend, barely containing her frustration.

"I still wish I was giant." Sid concluded.

" _Why_?" Ronnie growled.

"Because its fun, obviously." Sid replied. She then pirouetted away like a ballerina, doing her best to dodge the onslaught of snacks and beverages Ronnie began hurling her way.


	31. Chapter 31

Luan Loud was a girl who had always been...comfortable, in her own skin. Not entirely pleased with her appearance, but at peace with herself, nevertheless. She'd always been a little on the gangly side, her teeth a bit too pronounced, her body not pronounced enough. It didn't help that she was related to Lori and Leni, who'd each gone into puberty on the far edge of cute and come out _gorgeous_ , neither apparently having brought enough curves to share with the rest of the family. Regardless, small, isolated instances of typical teenage angst and self-loathing aside, Luan had always been perfectly happy with who she was.

...Which made her current situation all the more bizarre.

Luan hadn't gone out much since Lincoln had inadvertently tampered with her body, leading to Luan becoming one-half of a kaiju battle in the middle of their neighborhood and wrecking their house in the process. Literal home-wrecking aside, the aftermath of the incident had been pretty good to her, leaving Luan with a cute boyfriend and awesome super powers to boot. There had also been the more...tangible benefits, namely that Lincoln's meddling had left her with a body that could rival her older sisters', and Luan hadn't quite known how to feel about that. In her weaker moments, a younger, more despondent Luan had determined that all of her problems could be fixed if she could only grow a nice big pair of boobs. Jumbo-sized jumblies! Titanic titties! Massive mammaries! Just like Lori, or Leni, or even her mom! She'd been certain that if she could just trade up from the mosquito bites that nature had absentmindedly stapled to her chest before calling it a day, she'd end up living a long, happy, and fulfilling life! Eventually she'd grown the emotional maturity to move beyond that mindset, and had been all the happier for it, but that had just left her in something of a crisis of faith when one day, out of the blue, she suddenly had the very things she'd prayed so desperately for. And then some.

Initially, Luan hadn't quite known how to feel about her unexpected, post-puberty development. When she and Lincoln had their alone time, her little brother had proven to be _very_ enthusiastic about the changes she'd undergone, and Luan was happy that he was happy. But she also knew Lincoln wasn't exactly an unbiased party in this matter, he'd loved her even when she was a twig girl. Much in the same way that some people just don't look good in hats, regardless of type, Luan was worried that she just wasn't cut out to be a boob girl, that she couldn't _carry_ the _weight_ of her new...responsibilities. It certainly hadn't helped that in the weeks since the incident, her body had begun to change in other ways. Mostly minor, her legs had gotten a little more shapely, her hips an extra bit of flare that hadn't been there before. But it worried Luan that the body she had become so accustomed to, so comfortable with, just wasn't there anymore. It felt like she'd become something else entirely, and that worried her, hence her reluctance to leave the house, save for work outings, where she could hide under layers of oversized clown clothing. It had been safer, and easier to just stay home, ignore the changes her body was undergoing by distracting herself with family-related antics, mostly of the Lincoln variety. Those were her favorites. However, there came a point where Luan found herself no longer able to ignore one very specific problem, a problem that had only become more exacerbated as time went on.

...she needed clothes. Specifically underwear, because her old stuff just wasn't cutting it these days.

And so, with much coaxing and reassurance from Lincoln, Luan had squeezed herself into her trademarked outfit, blouse filled to the brim and skirt hiking up far higher than usual, and journeyed forth to the Royal Woods Mall. Lincoln had come with her, ostensibly so they could make a day of it, have a fun little day-date while Luan saw to her needs. In truth, however, she'd been _intensely_ nervous about the fact that she would need to be in the public eye for the first time since her change, and had desperately wanted her little brother along for moral support.

Reaching the mall had proven some of her suspicions true, Luan was indeed the center of attention. As she traversed the hustling, bustling, pathways pathways of the mall, she could _feel_ the weight of the stares, eyes fixated upon her from all angles. Initially it had been almost too much to bear, Luan instinctively shying away from the attention, very nearly abandoning the outing at its onset, and she likely would have had Lincoln not been there to reassure her, to comfort her. Thanks to Lincoln, and his hand clasped reassuringly within her own, Luan was able to endure the eyes. And it was only then that she was able to understand the context of the attention she was receiving. Glassy eyed stares. Mouths, agape. And, most telling of all, low whistles and nods of approval, from boys _and_ girls alike. Luan wasn't being reviled, quite the contrary. She was desired.

For the first time in her life, Luan Loud felt _sexy_. And she _liked_ it.

Feeling emboldened, Luan's timid walk gradually metamorphosed into a confident saunter. She began to throw a little sashay into her stride, her hips gently swaying back and forth, and she was both delighted and amused to see the heads of several onlookers bobbing too and fro, in accordance with her movements.

It wasn't all sunshine, there were a number of individuals who seemed to be staring a bit too enthusiastically for her tastes. Too old, too creepy, sometimes both, definitely not the kind of people a young girl would want to meet in a dark alley. But most girls weren't strong enough to snap creepy weirdos like twigs with their bare hands, so Luan accepted the attention for the implied compliment that it was. Not like they had a shot at her to begin with. After all, Luan was here...with her...

"Lincoln?" Luan asked, glancing around. It suddenly dawned upon the funny girl that she'd been walking pretty briskly for a while now, and hadn't heard a peep from her companion in all that time.

"—an!" Squawked a voice from behind her. Luan peered over her shoulder and blanched. There was Lincoln, hand still clasped in hers. Being dragged along the ground, like a neglected sweater, or an uncooperative puppy.

"Whoops." She giggled, coming to a stop. "You okay Linc?"

"Never better." Mumbled the pale haired boy, face planted firmly into the tiled mall flooring. He raised his free hand, and gave her a shaky thumbs up.

Luan shook her head, half embarrassed, half bemused, and slung the prone boy over her shoulder. Her little brother, ever the trooper.

* * *

"You sure you're okay, Linc?" Luan asked for the third time in as many minutes. They'd found the boy a bench to recuperate on. Luan was trying to refrain from hovering over him _too_ much, but Lincoln _was_ her little brother. So a degree of hovering was unavoidable.

"We could go to the first aid station if you want." She suggested, but Lincoln shook his head and waved her off.

 _He'll be fine, Ms. Luan_. Said Seven. _Lincoln has survived far worse things_.

He wasn't wrong. Lincoln had only been a little scuffed up from her negligence, and even now she could see those minor scrapes on his face disappearing before her eyes. That weird resilience of his, she supposed. She'd yet to see it for herself, but she'd heard stories from the other girls. Even so...

"Why don't you just go on ahead, Luan?" Lincoln suggested.

"Aw." Luan pouted and leaned over, discretely breathing in as she did so. One of her blouse buttons popped off, narrowly missing the white haired boy and exposing a bit of her cleavage. She hadn't _planned_ on that, but she wasn't complaining.

"I was hoping you'd come with me." Luan continued, cupping the younger boy's face in her hand. "You could help me pick out some things. Watch me try them on? And then, if you're good..." She leaned forward a little more. "You could _cum_ with me." She finished in a low, husky voice.

"Luan!" Oh but Lincoln was fun to tease, sputtering and turning red as a cherry. She felt like she was starting to understand Sam just a little bit more.

"I'm just kidding." She said with a wink. "Unless I'm not."

"Luan!" There was a sharpness in Lincoln's voice that hadn't been there previously, and Luan suddenly found herself straightening up and standing attentively. That...was different, both the authority in Lincoln's voice and her instinctive response to it. Most notably the way her body...stirred. That was interesting, she was learning a lot about herself today, and she wasn't _displeased_. Hopefully they'd have a chance to explore this in greater detail.

Lunan quickly ran her eyes up and down Lincoln frame, which was slowly but surely growing more robust in all the right ways. Yes, _much_ greater detail.

"I...would not be averse to that, normally." Said Lincoln, his voice softening, and Luan could feel her heartbeat begin to quicken. " _But!"_ He went on, holding up his arm, the one she'd been holding onto. "I really think I should sit and rest for a bit."

Dangit. "Come on, Linky..." She began to plead, firing up her patented Loud Sister Puppy Eyes, which she knew for a fact that Lincoln was helpless against. To her surprise, Lincoln's response was to slowly begin to extend his arm.

_GRRRRRRKGEL_

Luan flinched at the sound. Geeze, the kid's arm sounded like a cement mixer. Talk about a mood killer.

"I'll be fine." He assured her. "It's already feeling a lot better. But I should probably take it easy for a bit." Luan sighed in resignation. That _did_ seem to be the responsible choice.

"Fine." Luan crossed her arms across her prodigious chest, switching from girlfriend mode to sister mode. "But you have to promise me one thing."

"And that is?"

"Stay here." Luan said, pointing at the bench. "If at all possible, you stay right here on this bench. You're allowed to relocate if there's some kind of emergency, _but—_ " She held up one finger. "And this is the most important thing. Do _not_ go anywhere, do anything, or talk to _anybody_ until I get back."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Luan, I know all about stranger danger—"

"This isn't about strangers, Lincoln!" Luan snapped, cutting him off. "This is about _narrative_."

Lincoln's face scrunched up in confusion. "I...don't follow."

Luan sighed, shaking her head in exasperation, then took a seat next to Lincoln. "Of course you don't."

* * *

"I'm a _what_?"

"A plot device." Now it was Luan's turn to roll her eyes, Lincoln could be strangely dense at times. "You, Lincoln Loud, are a plot device."

"I think _you_ might be the one who needs first-aid." Lincoln deadpanned. Luan took a deep breath, reminding herself that she was in love with this boy.

"Do you think it's just sheer coincidence that you just _happen_ to be wherever some kind of conflict is about to happen?" Luan asked. "You and Leni just happened to be in the city when that giant girl went crazy a while back. And the two of you _and_ Lori just happened to be at the mall the first time that Fiona girl attacked."

"Well—"

"You and I were the only ones home when that... _girl_ —" Luan twitched angrily, at the memory. "Tried to kidnap you. You and Lynn were at the park when the QT attacked. _And_ Luna and Sam also just happened to be there to pick up the slack for Lynn! Not to mention, you went on your little vacation with mom, not only conveniently coinciding with Great Lakes City suffering its own attack, but one specifically tailored to an entirely different genre!"

"It _does_ sound kind of contrived when you lay it out like that." Lincoln conceded, furrowing his brow. "But sometimes life is just stranger than fiction."

"No!" Luan jabbed her finger in his direction. "It's because you're a plot device. Every story begins with an inciting incident, and you are the vehicle for that incident to happen. You go places, and do things, and that facilitates a new adventure." She held up her finger triumphantly. "Plot. Device."

For a few moments, Lincoln simply stared at her. At last, he finally spoke.

"Alright, Luan." He said, slowly. "Supposing that you're right—"

"I am."

" _Supposing_ that you're right—" He pressed on. "How would I go about avoiding this?"

"Exactly what I said." She held out her hands, gesturing to the mall around them. "There are a million potential plot threads here. Don't instigate any of them. No adventures, no drama, and..." She took another deep breath. "Above all else, no hijinx."

"Hijinx." Lincoln repeated, nonplussed.

"All that unreasonably wacky stuff you get up to between the cool fights." She clarified. "None of that. Got it?"

Lincoln stroked his chin contemplatively. "Fine." He agreed. "I'll sit here until you get back."

"And _not_ incite any incidents?" Luan prompted.

"And not incite any incidents." Lincoln repeated. With that, he leaned back into his seat, a small smile spreading across his face, and for a moment Luan felt herself go a little light headed. She _liked_ that smile. "Seriously, I'll be fine, Luan."

"Alright." Luan started to stand up, but stopped. On impulse, she quickly leaned forward and planted a kiss on the younger boy's lips. "I'll be back soon."

"S-sure." Lincoln stammered, looking a little dazed. With that, Luan spun around and began to walk off. She could _feel_ his gaze, watching her as she sauntered away, and that thought brought a smile to her face. Lincoln was gonna owe her some private time later on, best to get him good and ready.

* * *

About an hour later, Luan exited Reininger's with a large bag of clothing clutched in each hand. She began briskly walking back to where she'd left her brother, breathing much easier now. Quite literally, as she'd managed to find the components of her signature outfit in a size more appropriate for her current dimensions. She _did_ leave the skirt a bit on the short side, however, and had taken to leaving the top button of her blouse undone. She'd seen the way Lincoln had been looking at her, and she wanted more of that.

Luan let out a small grin as she peaked into one of her bags, double checking its contents. Aside from the essentials she'd needed, she also managed to find a few things that were just for fun. A very specific _kind_ of fun. She couldn't wait to show...Lincoln...

Luan's thoughts slowed to a crawl as a familiar head of white hair came into view. Normally such a sight would fill the comedienne, and there were certainly _parts_ of her body that instinctively stirred in an almost Pavlovian response to her favorite treat. The _problem_ , was who was _with_ Lincoln.

Her little brother appeared to be engaged in conversation with a rather large pair of breasts. Luan wasn't inherently averse to this, she _was_ but one component of the polyamorous relationship the boy had found himself in, she'd come to accept that there was some intrinsic quality of the younger boy that was irresistible to the opposite sex. The problem was that she _recognized_ these breasts. Sure, _now_ they were pressed tightly against a criminally snug, sky-blue t-shirt, she distinctly remembered seeing those very same mammaries outlined by form fitting, black spandex that left nothing to the imagination. Her brothers tiny body trapped between them, struggling against his fleshy prison. Those were... _her_ boobs. It was at this point that Luan's eyes panned over, and took in the sight of the girl attached to those breasts.

"Maggie!" Luan screamed, as she sprung into action, dashing across the mall at a speed that would have almost certainly been superhuman...had she not needed to constantly dart around the many innocent bystanders that just so happened to be standing between her and her prey. The sheer density of the crowd slowed her down considerably. _Too much_ , in fact, as long before she could reach her destination, her rival looked up and locked eyes with Luan. She _knew_.

Throwing caution to the wind, Luan backed up a few steps and _leapt_ into the air, her well honed acrobatics skills meshing seamlessly with her enhanced strength, allowing her to circumvent the crowd without smashing into anything. Unfortunately, it was for nought. Seeing her approach, the raven haired girl leaned down and gave Lincoln a peck on the cheek. Luan landed lightly on her feet and charged forward, a fresh wave of rage building within her ample bosom. But before she could reach them, Maggie extended the thumb and index finger of her left hand and pointed it at the ground, raising her head to lock gazes with Luan once more.

"Pew." She said. There was a small explosion of obsidian energy, and then the girl was gone.

Luan skidded to a stop, throwing down her bags and grabbing Lincoln by the shoulders.

"Lincoln!" She shouted, shaking the younger boy. "What did you _do_? What did you _instigate_?" Wordlessly, the younger Loud handed over a small rectangular object. Luan snatched it out of his hands, and as she looked upon it, her blood ran cold.

It was a ticket. A theme park ticket. "Admission for 1 at Dairyland Amoosement Park, Couples Day" it read.

Luan dropped to her knees threw her hands to the sky.

"HIIIIIIIIJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINX!" She screamed, her rage and despair echoing throughout the Royal Woods Mall.


	32. Chapter 32

"And that's why we can't allow Lincoln to go on this date!" Luan concluded. Immediately her body slumped forward, her chest heaving up and down as she desperately tried to replenish the air that had been expended by her passionate speech.

A thoughtful silence fell upon the room. Luan's teammates, informally referred to as Team Gigant ("We _need_ to come up with a real name!", Lori would grouse whenever they met) had taken up seats around Lincoln's bedroom to discuss the topic at hand, though the Loud boy himself was conspicuously absent. Lucy was also present, though nobody was entirely certain as to why. The diminutive goth had taken to following Lynn and Lincoln around, and seeing as how she never seemed particularly surprised when the discussion turned to talks of aliens, super powers, and dating arrangements regarding her brother, had presumably informed herself of the group's extra-cirricular, giant-lady fighting activities. Since Lynn never seemed to object to her presence, no one else saw the need to.

"Luan." Lori said, carefully choosing her words. "While I'm literally with you, as far as being apprehensive about letting Lincoln go on a date with a girl who's already tried to kidnap him—"

"And smush our house." Luna added.

"And wrecked our house." Lori amended, nodding towards the rocker. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say...nobody followed your explanation about what happened at the mall." A general murmur of agreement resounded from the remaining girls, with Lucy muttering something that _might_ have sounded like "Three act structure."

The comedienne let out a long sigh of exasperation, and took a deep breath. "So every story begins with an inciting incident—"

"Your story would probably make a lot more sense if you ditched the super-hero junk." Lynn opined, mercifully preventing the older girl from repeating herself verbatim.

"It's _toku_! You stupid normie!" Luan retorted, glaring at the athlete. "And if you haven't noticed, it's more or less become the blueprint for our lives as of late!"

"Rubbish." Scoffed Luna. Another chorus of murmurs followed, more or less echoing the sentiment.

"I can't believe none of you see the parallels!" Luan shouted, now directing her ire at the entire group. "It's like none of you watched the research material I compiled for you!"

"Yeah, almost like..." Lori muttered, rolling her eyes.

Leni raised her hand, as if signaling that she wished to be called upon. "I couldn't get the record you gave me to work." She said, immediately rendering the gesture meaningless.

"That's because it was a _DVD_ , sis." Luna gently corrected her.

"Oh. No wonder it made those weird noises when I put it in your record player."

"You _what!?"_ Shouted Luan and Luna in unision.

"Now isn't the time for this!" Lori barked, taking command of the situation. Long honed instincts caused everyone in the room to immediately shut up and sit up straighter. Aside from Sam, who merely watched the show with no attempt made at hiding her amusement.

"Luan!" Lori jabbed one finger in the brunette's direction. "Explanation! Now!"

Luan opened her mouth.

"And no toku!" Lori sternly added, prompting a grunt of disapproval from the younger girl. Nevertheless, she complied.

"Lincoln and I went to the mall. I had to leave him alone for a little bit, and when I came to get him, Maggie had asked him on a date."

"There, was that so hard?"Lori asked sardonically.

"There are nuances—"

"Thought so." Lori concluded, smoothly steamrolling over the jokester's protests. "Now the question is, what do we do about this problem?" Seeing that Lynn had raised her hand, Lori nodded in the athlete's direction.

"Do we know if Lincoln actually _agreed_ to go on the date?" Lynn asked, an unusually rational observation for the physically oriented girl.

"No, but it's Lincoln." Lori responded, gesturing around at the assembled group of girls. "What do you _think_ he said?"

"Point taken." Lynn conceded, shrugging. "That boy can't say no to girls." The resounding chorus of agreement was significantly louder this time. "So what do we do about it?"

"Why do we need to _do_ anything about it?" Sam asked, raising her hand and waving it around frantically. "We all know how this plays out by now. Lincoln's gonna charm the panties off her—"

"Not _literally_ , I hope." Grumbled Lori.

"It _might_ be literally." Leni added, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Linky's really good at that."

"—And _then_ we get a new member in the harem." Sam concluded happily. "Sounds like a win win to me."

"Did you miss the part where she's our enemy, luv?" Luna asked, eyeing her girlfriend warily. "What's to stop her from just running off with our little dude?"

"Also, still not a fan of calling us a 'harem'." Lori interjected. "It sounds skeevy."

"We're all sharing your little brother." Sam retorted. "Some of us are also involved with each _other.._." She gave a meaningful look at Leni, who had taken Lori's hand in her own and was gently patting it, trying to comfort the older girl. "...and this group would be even _bigger_ if you hadn't vetoed giving those new girls a call. I think skeevy is kind of inevitable at this point." Lori opened her mouth, as if to respond. One moment later, she clamped it shut, and slumped down in her chair, clearly unhappy, but not disagreeing.

"So as I was saying..." Sam continued, "What's the harm in potentially turning an enemy into a friend?"

"I think _you_ think you can personally benefit from this." Luna replied, flatly. Sam turned to her partner, eyes wide with surprise and shimmering with barely repressed innocence."

" _Moi_?" Asked the blonde.

" _Tue_." Came Luna's sharp retort. She looked back to the group. "I haven't seen this gal myself, but from Lincoln and the others tell me, she's something of a..."

"Big-tiddied emo-girl." Lynn supplied. "We've had classes together. She keeps to herself, but she's kind of hard to miss."

"Poser." Lucy muttered, barely audible. She surreptitiously glanced downward. "I need to start drinking more milk."

"I am _appalled_ that you thought me so conceited as to try and benefit from the addition of a sexy new girl to our group." Sam huffed, fooling nobody. "Besides, she's clearly gonna end up in a weird, but strangely adorable three-way thing with Luan and Lincoln."

"Not! Happening!" Luan shouted. "I hate her!"

"It's pretty unlikely." Lori said, nodding in agreement. "I mean, they barely know each other. Heck, they've _barely_ interacted at all."

"Cute idea though." Leni added, nodding sagely. "Like, opposites attract, or something."

"The _point_ is, only good things can come of this." Sam concluded.

"I _think_..." Luan growled, still seething. "You're omitting one very important factor here."

"And that would be...?"

"That this is pretty much guaranteed to be a nefarious plot by our enemies!"

* * *

"Which is better, this one? Or this one?" Maggie asked. She held up one dress against her body, then another, taking the time to try and model the outfits as best she could without actually wearing them.

The effort was grossly misplaced.

"That one." Fiona muttered, not bothering to hide her disinterest.

"You didn't even look." Maggie protested, frowning more than usual. When the older girl refused to acknowledge the issue, she turned to the remaining member of her audience.

 ** _"They both look wonderful, sweetie."_** Darkness reassured her, in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. _**"But if you'd like, I asked Gladys to procure a few more options. Why don't you head up front and take a look?"**_ Maggie gave the horror from beyond the starts a grateful look, before shooting one more frown at Fiona before taking her leave.

"Alright, level with me." Said Fiona as soon as the door closed.

**_"I beg your pardon?"_ **

"This!" Fiona gestured to the far corner of Darkness' office, where there sat a fairly large pile of discarded dresses, hats, and shoes. "I offered to weigh in on the brat's clothes because I thought it'd be an easy way to kill some time while still on the clock—"

**_"Have I ever told you it's your dedication to the job that I really admire?"_ **

"But we've been at this for hours!" Fiona exclaimed, ignoring the gibe. "What's the punchline here?!"

**_"Punchline?"_ **

"What's the villainous plot at work here?" Fiona clarified, exasperated. "You got Maggie those tickets and encouraged her to finally ask that dope out, but where it this leading? How does this further your whole scheme to..." The brunette trailed off, blinking in surprise. "Actually, what is it you're trying to do again?"

**_"Consume the negative emotions of your kind so that I might amass the strength to crush my enemies, then devour your world."_ **

"Right." Fiona nodded uncertainly. "That sounds...so much more sinister when you lay it out like that. I guess I forgot, what with all the inane bullshit we get distracted with."

**_"Things got more complicated than I had initially anticipated. There's shareholders to appease, markets to test, not to mention our last few product rollouts have suffered setbacks—"_ **

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that too. It doesn't seem like it's possible for us to actually profit off the garbage we make. I mean, you tried to sell a teleportation device that _explodes_ people! What's the target demographic for that?"

 _ **"As for any 'villainous plot' at work here..."**_ Darkness shrugged indifferently. **"There is none."  
**

There was a pause as Fiona considered this response. "Is there a 'nefarious plot' in the works?"

 ** _"No._** **"** Came Darkness' flat refusal. **" _Nor any synonymous phrase to that same effect. I want Maggie to have a nice time with Lincoln."_**

Another pause. "So she can...kill him?" Fiona ventured, cautiously. "Or maybe seduce him? Though...aren't they a little young for that."

 ** _"No!"_** This time the refusal was significantly more emphatic, so much that the walls of the office began to tremble.

"So...this is actually a date? We're not gonna attack the park or anything because you want to build your _own_ themepark, and don't want to deal with the competition."

 ** _"Absolutely not."_** Darkness absentmindedly began to drum his fingers on his desk. **_"But lets put a pin in that idea."_**

Fiona slumped in her chair, befuddlement clearly apparent on her face as she tried to process this strange turn of events.

"...Why?" She asked at last. "Don't you need to...uh, get rid of that kid...at some point?" It was brief, but a pained and uncomfortable expression crossed the girl's face before the pause.

 ** _"I need to_ neutralize _him."_** Darkness corrected her. **_"And not in a way that need be permanent. I just need to separate him from his allies. He is the source of their power, if I put him in a position where it's no longer possible for him to provide that power, the result will be the same as if I had destroyed them outright."_**

"So is _that_ the play here?" Fiona pressed. "Get him so wrapped around Maggie's finger that he won't oppose you anymore?"

 ** _"Truthfully...no."_ **Darkness shrugged indifferently. **_"I just want Maggie to go on a nice date. Things would probably be easier if she'd set her sights on someone else, but she's made her choice and I support that."_**

"I'm confused." Fiona announced, somewhat redundantly given her plainly present perplexion.

 ** _"Haven't you seen the way she gets when she talks about him?"_** Darkness asked. **_"How happy he makes her just by existing? Let alone by being in her presence? It triggers a remarkable change in the girl, like she becomes someone else entirely. And while I do find her usual demeanor to be inordinately entertaining, in no small part because of how she vexes you so—"_**

"I _knew_ there was a reason you treat her better than me."

 ** _"The reason is that I like her better than you."_** Darkness snidely corrected her. **_"But yes, while playing the two of you against each other is fun, the truth is that Maggie is...happier because of Lincoln. And it pleases me to see her that way. And I think I would very much like to see her in her post-Lincoln state on a much more frequent basis. Permanently, if possible._**

"Are you..." Fiona fumbled for the words, unable to comprehend what she was about to suggest. "Are you... _shipping_ them?"

Darkness leaned forward, folding his hands in front of him, as he looked Fiona squarely in the eye. Finally, he spoke.

**_"I don't know what that means."_ **

* * *

"...And _that_ is why Lincoln should be allowed to go on a date with the big-tiddied emo girl." Sam concluded, reaching into her jacket pocket and pulling out a small stack of flash cards. "Now if there are any concerns that still need to be addressed, I've prepared a number of followup arguments—"

"All in favor of agreeing so Sam'll finally shut up?" Lynn interjected, lying on the ground, face buried as deeply into the room's carpet as she could manage.

"Aye!" Came a chorus of similarly haggard agreements. Notable was that Luna's was the most vocal of the bunch.

"Nay!" Growled Luan, struggling to sit upright once more. "I'm not going to send my little brother into danger because of a stupid filibuster!"

"Then I will present an alternative argument." Six sets of shoulders jerked in surprise as Lucy's soft voice cut through the air. Unlike her sisters, the youngest of the group looked no worse for wear. Luan held up one finger, no doubt signaling that an objection was forthcoming.

"A _succinct_ argument." Lucy added. Silently, Luan lowered her finger, and motioned for the younger girl to continue.

"The issue is as follows." Said the small goth. "Lincoln obviously cares about this girl's well being. Are _you_ willing to be the one to tell him he can't go? To force him, if need be, to disappoint her?"

There was a moment where it looked like Luan would immediately agree. But as the moments stretched on, the comedienne's conviction seems to wane, her expression looking less and less certain. Finally, she slumped back in her chair.

"Dang it." Came her quiet response.

"Quite." Lucy replied, nodding. "However I will propose an alternative solution that should satisfy everyone."

"And what would that be?" Lori asked, warily, as the remaining Loud sisters assembled themselves in their previous arrangement once more.

"We send someone to shadow Lincoln on his date. A chaperone of sorts who can step in if things are not as benign as they appear to be."

" _Not_ Luan." Lucy added a moment later. From her expression, it was clear that the jokester was about to propose that very thing. "She can't be impartial when it comes to Maggie."

"Then _who_?" Luan asked, sourly.

"I'll go." Said Leni, something in her voice drawing the other's attention to her. Gone was the blonde's usual bubbly, carefree tone. There was an unusual...firmness in her voice that commanded respect. "I want to make sure she's right for Linky."

"Uh, not that I'm saying you _can't_ , Leni..." Lori began, flinching as Leni fixed her gaze upon her, despite there being nothing outwardly threatening about the younger blonde's expression. "But _should_ you? This kind of thing would call for a certain level of..."

"Tact?" Offered Luna.

"Subtlety?" Sam supplied.

"Not being an oversized bombshell?" Lynn added, only the slightest amount of venom in her voice.

"All of those." Lori nodded in agreement. "A stealth mission isn't exactly your strong suit, Leni."

"Then I will go with her." Lucy said, her voice brooking no room for argument. "I am nothing if not discrete." Lori still looked pensive, but at last she finally nodded her assent, however halting it was.

"Then that's that." Leni said, once no further objections appeared to be forthcoming. "Tomorrow is Operation: Go On Linky's Date...With...Linky? But...not?"

Another pause as the girls mulled this over.

"It's better when Lincoln does it." Sam opined.

* * *

**Omake:  
**

"Got the snacks, Linky." Said Leni. The tall blonde stooped down next to the lawn chair Lincoln had situated himself upon, a cooler clutched in one hand and a small, folded up table in the other. With a flourish, she unfolded the table, then set about unpacking the cooler. Within short order, a small tray of assorted fruits and vegetables had been set out, as well as a large pitcher of lemonade and two glasses.

"Thanks Leni." Lincoln nodded gratefully at the older girl as she stepped away to retrieve a chair for herself. He began pouring himself a glass. "Watching these two really works up a thirst, and I couldn't exactly leave them alone."

The individuals in question were the Loud twins, Lola and Lana. Lincoln had been volunteered to watch the pair while the played outside, his parents having gone off to do...whatever it was adults did when they managed to briefly absolve themselves of parental responsibilities. Things had been touch and go for a while, but the girls had finally found an activity with which to occupy themselves. Mercifully, this kept their attention on their work, and off one another, or Lincoln himself for that matter.

"Are they still at it?" Leni asked as she returned, chair in hand. She set herself up on the other side of the table, and accepted a glass of lemonade from her brother.

"Think they're about done." Lincoln hadn't been privy to the discussion himself, but it appeared the girls had settled upon building something in their sandbox. Lincoln hadn't been particularly interested, at first, he'd been more grateful for the break than anything But as time went on, his interest grew. What had initially began as merely shuffling sand around had turned into the construction of a tiny sand building. Then another, then another still. And so on, and so forth. Now, the pair appeared to be putting the finishing touches on a sprawling sand metropolis, tiny streets of sand weaving between modest, sand buildings and (relatively) sprawling sand skyscrapers, even tiny round-faced sand people, and little sand cars adorned the miniature cityscape. It was probably the most ambitious project he'd ever seen them embark upon on using this particular medium, and Lincoln was very impressed.

"Oooh, I think you're right!" Leni squeaked as quietly as she could. Upon joining her little brother outside, the older girl had become similarly engrossed in the twins' project, and the pair had been engaged in heated speculation over what the point of all this was before Leni had briefly excused herself to obtain refreshments. Now it seemed all their waiting had finally come to fruition. The older Loud siblings waited with baited breath as Lola scurried out of the sandbox, while Lana took up a spot in the middle of their little sand city.

"Raaaawr!" Lana announced as she began stomping around the diminutive metropolis. "Fear me, Royal Sands! For I have come to destroy you!"

"Aww." Leni cooed. "That's so—"

"Not so fast!" Lola shouted. The would-be princess took a running start, then leapt into the sandbox, taking up a position opposite Lana. "Your reign of terror is over, you icky monster. For I, Gigant Pink, am here to stop you!"

Lincoln could _hear_ the joy welling up within Leni, as an enormous grin erupted across the older girl's face.

"Oh...em...gosh, Linky!" She squealed, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Look at them!"

Lincoln had no intention of doing otherwise, bemused as he was by the twins' antics. Apparently his older sister's exploits had become well enough known that even children as young as them knew of the giant superheroines who periodically showed up to save the city. As he watched his younger sisters play fight in a manner strangely reminiscent of the actual fights he and Leni had partaken in, he was charmed and enthralled by how enthusiastic they were about the whole thing. This is why he and his sisters continued to put their lives on the line the way they did. To protect the smiles of girls just like these. It was strangely gratifying.

"Blarg." Lana called out, falling on her back as Lola dealt her a mighty, imaginary blow. "I can't fight anymore. You have defeated me, Gigant Pink."

"Yes!" Lola crowed, posing dramatically with her hands on her hips. "I have saved the town of Royal Sands from the wicked monster."

Lincoln chuckled to himself. The ending to the fight had been a little anticlimactic, but they were kids, what could you expect? They were kids, it was pretty much inevitable that the narrative would end with the bad guy being defeated and the good guy—

"And now!" Lola continued. "Having saved the city. I get to destroy it myself!"

...Wait, what?

Lola let out a roar far more terrifying than anything Lana had managed to produce, and dove her fist into a nearby sand building, smashing it into pieces.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha!" Lola cackled, as she began moving through the city. Lincoln watched in horror as tiny sand cars and even tinier sand people fell beneath the wayside, gleefully stomped into smithereens by Lola's (relatively) enormous feet.

Lincoln barely registered Leni's gentle touch on his shoulder, as his big sister leaned down and whispered into his ear.

"Linky?" She asked, the duo wincing in unison as Lola took a flying leap, pulverizing City Hall in the process. "Maybe you should hold off on giving Lola any kisses any time soon. Like...forever? Maybe?"

Lincoln could only nod woodenly, too entranced and terrified by the destruction of the tiny city happening before his very eyes to respond more intelligently.

"Lola! You're supposed to protect the city! Not destroy it!"

"I can do whatever I _want_!" Lola replied, nastily. "Because I'm the biggest!" Then she snatched up a tiny sand person, and popped him into her mouth. A moment later, she spat it out.

"Ewwww" She groaned, continuing to spit, trying to rid her mouth of her poorly chosen meal.

Lincoln could only shake his head wearily. Yeah, he was definitely sticking to hugs for the foreseeable future.

"That tasted terrible!"

"It's was sand! What were you expecting it to taste like?"

"Shut up, Lana!"

...Definitely hugs. Maybe even handshakes, just to be on the safe side.


	33. Chapter 33

Lincoln Loud frowned as he looked himself over. The "date pants" were certainly a nice start, nice, solid, khaki colored slacks which blended well with his dark brown dress shoes, combining to give the boy an air of respectability that honestly felt kind of alien to him. The effect was lost, somewhat, from the waist up, as the tried and true coloring gave way to a bright orange, long sleeved dress shirt. At the time, one of those rare moments when his parents had managed to put aside enough money to buy him and his sisters some nice clothing, Lincoln had been delighted to find a dress shirt in his signature color. But when you had a family as big as his, clothing like that shirt was bought with the intention of making it last as long as humanly possible, and now Lincoln was regretting what what now seemed to be a flippant decision.

"Should have gone with something more subdued." He muttered to himself, twisting two and for, desperately trying not to look like a traffic cone for once in his life.

The sole male Loud sibling usually tried not to be so self conscious about what he wore. It was a common, almost episodic occurrence in the boy's life, in which events transpired so as to teach him that he needed to be comfortable in his own skin, and that was a lesson he tried to take to heart. But it wasn't always that simple. Lincoln was no stranger to dates by this point, outings with Sam, and his sisters-turned-girlfriends had become commonplace by this point, Lincoln had long learned to avoid feeling like he was going to make a fool of himself just because he happened to be out and about with a pretty girl. This, however was different. It was a _real_ date. Which, in no way implied that Lincoln didn't treasure those experiences he'd shared with his girlfriends, quite the contrary. Being fortuitous enough to earn the affection of any one of his lady loves would have made Lincoln Loud the luckiest, and happiest guy alive, the fact that _eight_ such girls (potentially _nine_ , he still wasn't sure what exactly was going on with Lucy) not only returned his feelings, but were willing to co-exist along side one another with little to no complaint, was simply staggering to the young boy. But, while Lincoln's girlfriends were, by and large, older and wiser and more experienced than he was when it came to romance, they were also people he'd known for his entire life. He didn't need to hide anything from them because they already knew and accepted him for who he was. Even Sam, the only one of the bunch who was still a fairly recent addition to the Loud family dynamic, had been a familiar presence in Lincoln's life long before she'd sort of...invited herself into his newly realized relationship with Luna. He didn't see fit to even qualify Sid as an exception to the rule. Sid was simply...Sid, an anomaly unto herself, even in a world that housed Sam Sharp.

Maggie was different. He hadn't known the girl for all that long before she'd shown up at the mall and asked him out on a date. Which had come as a complete surprise to the white haired boy. Yes, Maggie was working for the great evil that was apparently planning to consume everything on the planet before moving on to another hapless world. But she was also gorgeous, beautiful in a subdued, understated sort of manner, clearly too confident in herself to be concerned with something as petty as her own looks. She was cool, attitude wise, almost to the point of being aloof, though still prone to occasionally letting slip a much sweeter side of herself that she clearly tried to keep under wraps, and there was something strangely endearing about that. She could also fight surprisingly well, which...didn't reflect too well upon the girl given her status as an allegedly evil minion of mankind's greatest foe to date, but it was certainly impressive (and a more than a little arousing) how well she'd held her own in her battle against Luan. And, not to put too much emphasis on the girl's physical traits, but it was kind of undeniable that the girl was quite...tall, for her age, which Lincoln was quickly beginning to realize was something he found appealing in a girl (though how much of that was due to the alarming frequency with which he'd had to deal with building-sized girls as of late, he couldn't say.) And while they hadn't been able to spend too much time together thus far, those moments they had meant something. Lincoln had found a connection with the dour-faced girl that was so rare. He was _pretty_ sure he liked her, in a way that went beyond simple friendship. And the fact that the older girl had approached him for this date strongly suggested that those feelings might be reciprocated. But those were presumably predicated on the date going _well_! And the only way that could happen, is if he could get over his own insecurities regarding—

"Told you he'd be in here, stewing."

Lincoln started in surprise as a familiar voice wafted through his door way, interrupting his self-reflection. Looking up, he saw that Lori was inviting herself into his inner sanctum. Followed by Leni. And Luna. And Sam. In short order, the entirety of the Royal Woods chapter of Team Gigant, had assembled in his suddenly very crowded room.

"H-hey, girls." Lincoln stammered. He had started waving at the group, but about half-way through the motion he decided that was kind of a lame way to greet one's girlfriends. Lincoln tried to salvage the moment by turning the wave into a stretch, but that _immediately_ felt like the wrong decision. Suddenly at a loss, Lincoln simply abandoned the action entirely, letting his arm drop, dangling limply at his side. An instant later, he sicked that hand in his pocket. Lincoln wasn't certain as to what it was, exactly, he was now trying to accomplish, but he was fairly certain he'd failed magnificently.

While this was going on, Lori made her way across the room and sat down on Lincoln's bed, motioning for the younger boy to sit next to her. His body began to comply before conscious thought even registered the request, and the next thing he knew, he was sitting alongside his big sister.

"I—" He began, but was swiftly cut off as Lori's arm snaked around his midsection and pulled him into a side hug. Uncertain how to respond, Lincoln returned the gesture, laying his head atop the older girl's shoulder.

"You need to get out of your head, little brother." Lori chided him, nuzzling her face against his. "It's going to be fine."

"But what if it's not?" He asked, unable to meet her eyes. Lori reached out, gently cupped his face in her hand, and turned him, forcing him to face her.

"It will be." She said, not a shred of doubt in her voice. "Because you're Lincoln Loud, and you're the best brother _and_ boyfriend a girl could ask for. All you need to do is remember a few simple things."

"And what—" Again Lincoln was unable to complete his sentence, this time because Lori bent down and captured his lips with her own. His body immediately relaxed, responding to the familiar, comforting sensation of the older girl's gentle, tender kiss. Lincoln couldn't say for how long the kiss went on precisely, but he immediately found himself regretting it when Lori began to pull away. However long it had been, he knew it hadn't been long enough.

"You just need to be yourself, Lincoln Loud." Lori said, giving the boy one more squeeze. "That's all you've ever needed to be."

Sensing movement behind him, Lincoln turned away from Lori to find Leni leaning down. He responded in kind, tilting his head up and meeting the older girl's lips in a second kiss.

"Be nice to her, Linky. She'll like that." Leni said, beaming down at the boy as she pulled away. Immediately Luna took her place, taking her own turn with the Loud boy's lips.

"Be bold, bro." Luna said.

"But not _too_ bold." Sam chimed in, not waiting for Luna to step aside before she took her own turn, sidling up to the pair before darting forward like a striking snake, taking the younger boy for her own. "—Unless you want to bring her back here, that is." She finished, giving the boy a lascivious wink.

"Sam!" The Sharpe girl didn't acknowledge her girlfriend's reprimand beyond quickly sticking out her tongue at the irate brunette. She took a moment to affectionately tousle Lincoln's hair before allowing Luna to drag her away, giving the now slightly dazed boy a brief reprieve. He barely registered Luan's uncharacteristically stoic face moving towards his own, but regained enough of his senses to properly respond to the comedienne's affection, wrapping his arms around her and deepening their kiss. As she pulled away, Lincoln was heartened to see a bit of the brunette's usual cheer creeping back into her face.

"Just be on your guard." She said, coughing softly in embarrassment. "I don't think you'll have any trouble putting a smile on her stupid face."

"I've learned from the best." He said, honestly. No further response was forthcoming, but Luan definitely stood up straighter as she stepped away, allowing Lynn to take her turn.

" _Lynn_." Lori chided the younger girl, who'd leapt onto their brother with a bit too much enthusiasm, trying to remind her of the point of this little exercise.

"Yeah, yeah." Lynn grumbled, panting slightly as she released Lincoln from her lip lock. "Just trying to get his confidence up." So forceful had been her ministrations that Lincoln was now flat on his back, his pupils dilated, somewhat unfocused. Lynn pulled him back to a sitting position, and treated herself to one last cuddle.

"You're a lot tougher than you think you are, Linc." She concluded, giving him what was clearly the gentlest punch to the arm she could muster. "Just believe in yourself. You can do this."

Lincoln nodded woodenly, smiling as best he could at the athlete. The punch had still hurt like crazy, but that wasn't Lynn's fault, she was a lot stronger than she used to be. He still appreciated the gesture. The deception apparently worked, as Lynn gave him one last reassuring smile, then hopped to her feet.

" _Lincoln_." The boy flinched instinctively as Lucy was suddenly sitting next to him. Funny, he hadn't seen her come in with the other girls. Before he could ruminate further on the pseudo-supernatural phenomenon that was his little sister, Lucy slid close and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. Lincoln chuckled at the rare show of enthusiasm from the normally stoic girl, and responded in kind, hugging the younger girl tightly.

"Just be yourself." She murmured, reaching up and giving him a chaste, but affectionate peck on the cheek.

"Lori already said that." Lincoln replied, returning the gesture.

"I know, but it bears repeating. It's good advice." She shrugged. "Plus, I had to come up with Lynn's advice, and didn't have time to come up with anything for myself."

"Hey!"

"I got it." Lincoln chuckled, releasing his grip on the girl. "Thank's Luce." He looked around at the family assembled around him, Sam included. "Thanks, all of you. I'm feeling a lot better right now."

_HONK HONK_

"And that would be mom with the car." Lori announced, gently removing Lucy from Lincoln's person. "You'd better get going, little brother."

Lincoln gave the group one last nod, then hopped to his feet and rushed downstairs. He had a date to get to.

* * *

Lori stared out the window, watching Vanzilla speed off down the street. "That's your cue." She said, turning around. Leni and Lucy nodded to one another, then made their own exit.

"Not that I'm complaining." Luna began as the remaining girls turned back to the window. "The little dude definitely needed a pick me up. But are you sure that's gonna be enough to keep any more...uh, 'accidents', from happening?" From their vantage, Lori could see Leni and Lucy now outside. The older girl picked up the diminutive goth, cradling her protectively in her arms. Then, Leni took a brief running start and launched herself into the air, sailing far into the distance.

"I honestly don't know." Lori replied, shrugging. "It's not like I could run it by Seven, what with him being attached to Lincoln. But hopefully we've calmed him down enough that he'll be able to keep his cool on his date." The eldest Loud sibling shook her head, wearily. "Last thing we need is another accidental Gigant on our hands."

"Sid seems nice." Lynn interjected.

"She does." Lori conceded. "Though I _really_ wish she wasn't a packaged deal with my ex's sister. That's going to make things...awkward, at some point." She frowned, shaking her head in annoyance. "Regardless, the last thing we need is more giant girls running around Royal Woods."

"This town's not big enough for all of us." Luan added, prompting the other girls to look her way.

"That...was weak. Even for you." Luna observed.

"Shut up." Luan grumbled as she started for the door. "I'm still worried about that brother-napper putting the moves on my man."

* * *

"We're here." Fiona announced with a palpable dearth of enthusiasm. "Now get out."

"I'm not ready." Came Maggie's instantaneous reply, as the younger girl immediately set about wildly looking to and fro, looking very much like a cornered animal. Fiona was annoyed, but not surprised. For the duration of the mercifully short trip, Maggie's one and only response to any question directed her way was "I'm not ready." It had been funny at first, but the amusement had worn thin very fast.

"Well, too bad." Fiona grumbled, reaching past the younger girl and shoving the passenger side door open. "Boss paid me to drive you here. And _here_ is where we're are. Now go!"

_SLAM_

Fiona only barely managed to pull her fingers back into the car before the door was slammed shut once more. Furious, she rounded on her co-worker, fully intent on unleashing some of her rapidly mounting frustration on her burdensome passenger. But the sight of Maggie, shaking, shaking, legs pulled up against her chest, her normally bored, listless eyes wide with fear...something about that sight stirred something inside her, and she felt her anger begin to ebb.

Fiona collapsed back into her seat with a long, loud sigh of exasperation. "Look, kid. You're making a much bigger deal out of this than you need to be."

"Am not." Maggie muttered, scrunching her body into an even tighter ball.

"Yes, you are." Fiona reached out, pushing down the urge to swat the still trembling, raven-tressed head that was poking out of the Maggie-ball, and instead patted her on the shoulder in a manner which she'd hoped was comforting. "That little dope wouldn't have accepted your invitation if he didn't like you."

"Maybe he was just being nice." Maggie protested weakly.

Fiona rolled her eyes, mustering her resolve. "And even if that _was_ the case, and it's _not_ , so what? You're here. He'll be here in a bit. The hard part's over. All you need to do is go out and enjoy yourself."

"I've never been very good at that." Maggie mumbled, eyes downcast.

"It's an _amusement park_ , dummy." Fiona retorted. "The park is gonna do all the work for you. Just be around and...you know, be present. Talk to him, laugh at his jokes, stuff like that." There was a sort pause, then movement. A rustling in the Maggie-ball as it reconfigured itself so that two piercing eyes were peering out from within.

"That sounds too easy." She said, suspiciously.

"It's _supposed_ to be easy." Fiona replied. Then, under her breath. "In theory." There was another pregnant pause.

"W-what if I can't think of anything to say?"

Fiona didn't have a response to that. Especially since her anti-social junior was very likely to run into that exact problem sooner than later.

"Just...lean over a bit." She said at last. This prompted the Maggie-ball to finally unfurl, the younger girl's head poking upward and tilting quizzically to the side.

"Huh?"

"If there's a lull in the conversation, and you can't think of anything to say, just face the kid and lean over a little." She considered her words. "But not too much. Like, a twenty to thirty-degree angle, maximum."

Maggie blinked in surprise. "And that works?"

"Yeah." Fiona rolled her eyes again. "It's a secret girl trick. Works every time."

Maggie stroked her chin, thoughtfully. "I can lean." She concluded. Then, much to Fiona's surprise and relief, she opened the door and began climbing out.

"Wait!" Fiona called out, reaching into the back of her car and fishing around for a bit. Finally, she found what she was looking for; a small black bag. "Don't forget your purse." She said, handing the accoutrement to the suddenly perplexed girl.

"But I don't have a purse." Maggie replied, examining the bag in her hands. "I don't even _own_ a purse."

"Boss said to give it to you. There's some spending cash, a first-aid kid, and..." Fiona lowered her voice. "One of those _things_. You know, just in case."

"Fiona!" The normally pallid girl was now bright red. The older girl rubbed her temples, trying to ward off her impending migrane.

"Not one of _those_ things!" She growled, snatching the purse out of Maggie's grasp, and fumbling around a bit before producing the item in question. A rather innocuous looking plastic baggie. Housed within it was a small, jet black oval object.

"Ah." Maggie replied, regaining her normal coloration. "That makes...slightly more sense."

Fiona handed the purse back to Maggie. "You're off the clock, but he wanted you to have one on-hand. Just in case you needed it. Now get going, that kid's not gonna date himself."

"Right." Maggie took a deep breath, perhaps a bit deeper than was actually necessary, before setting out, her stride gradually becoming more and more confident the further she got away from the vehicle. Most noteworthy, to Fiona, was a small smile that slowly crept it's way onto the younger girl's face. It was a little thing, but given how stoic the raven haired girl was normally, it said a lot about just how much she'd been looking forward to this day.

"When was the last time _I_ was that happy?" She asked the now empty car, as she reversed out of her parking spot and began heading for home, her obligations met for the moment.


	34. Chapter 34

Lincoln strode doggedly towards the gates of Dairyland Amoosement Park, his every step conveying purpose and determination far beyond what seemed appropriate for a boy his age. He approached his destination with the resolve of one who had seen battle, and while not having developed a taste for it, was willing to take up arms one more for a cause that was sufficiently just. He maintained this energy until at last, he had reached the entrance, the site upon which his greatest trial _to date_ would commence. then, with a crisp, 180-degree pivot, Lincoln Loud strode doggedly in the exact opposite direction, no determination lost in the transition.

 _Lincoln, I'm worried about you_. Spoke Seven as Lincoln continued to march _away_ from the site upon which his greatest trial to date would commence.

"Why?" Lincoln murmured, mindful of his volume. The surrounding area was in a constant state of cacophony, a veritable symphony of noise, figurative and literal, each intrinsically linked to its own story, one among many that would form the mosaic that was the overall tale of Dairyland on this day. Accordingly, few were paying any sort of mind to the fast-walking young boy, seemingly talking to himself, but Lincoln felt there was a basic degree of paranoia that was acceptable in most situations, and further felt that he was well under that allotment on this particular occasion.

"Because I'm going on a date with a girl who's already tried to kidnap me, destroying my house in the process?" He continued. "Because I'm doing this in spite of the fact that she's clearly working for the big evil thing we're fighting against? Because there's a very real possibility that this is all some kind of setup for them to get their hands on me?"

 _No_. Seven replied as Lincoln pivoted on his heel once more and began quickly walking _back_ to the Dairyland entrance at full steam. _Because you've been walking this route for several minutes now with an intensity that suggests some sort of medical deficiency. In such an event, I was given explicit instructions by Ms. Luna to inform you that you need to 'chill out'._

"...Oh." Lincoln's steps faltered as his pace began to slow, eventually coming to a full stop. He raised his arm, thoughtfully regarding the shining silver band attached to it. "You think I might be overthinking this?"

 _Absolutely not_. Came the device's immediate reply, and Lincoln winced at the implied reprimand. _You just provided a number of entirely valid reasons as to why you should be on your guard today._ _However, while I would advise caution..._

 _"_ Yes?" Lincoln prompted once a few moments of silence had passed.

Lincoln smirked, as he reluctantly turned his attention back to world around him, unwilling to lose this rare advantage over the normally unflappable alien machine. And then...he quickly forgot about the conversation, his arm falling limply to his side.

 _Patience._ Seven grumbled. _There are a lot of variables to consider. I wouldn't be a very good advisor if I gave you bad advice._

"It stands to reason." Lincoln said, neutrally.

_Quite. Now, as I was saying, while I would advise caution, as I would under any circumstances, it is my...contention—_

"Is that like having a gut feeling when you have no actual guts?" Lincoln quipped.

 _It is my_ conclusion _, based on the empirical evidence available to me...that on this specific occasion, you may not have anything to fear from miss Maggie._

Lincoln squinted at the device, examining its surface for any sort of obvious damage, or defects it might have suffered.

"I'm surprised." He confessed, once he determined there didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with his companion. "I figured you'd be the most opposed to this."

 _I was._ Seven answered. _Am. It's difficult. She serves the Great Enemy, the being which I was specifically created to combat . And yet...there is something different about the way this invasion is being conducted._

"Meaning what?" Lincoln pressed.

 _Meaning I need more data._ Seven grumbled. _Speaking of which, you should probably stop talking to yourself and start paying attention to your surroundings._

"Lincoln?"

The pale haired boy immediately abandoned his conversation and spun around, his fight or flight instincts kicking in, already preparing him for whichever option proved most viable.

There, striding through the crowd of passersby was Maggie, raven locks and alabaster skin wrapped up in a sundress the color of midnight. It was a simple outfit, but she wore it well; ample curves embraced tenderly by the black fabric, the occasional but tantalizing flash of her ivory legs as the breeze would occasionally kick up the hem of her dress, and that smile. In his short time with her, Lincoln had come to know Maggie as a girl who didn't find it within herself to smile often, preferring to keep her emotions held fast to her chest. As she approached, her normally guarded expression slipped away, replaced by a smile as radiant as any he'd ever seen. Hope, anticipation, and much to his secret relief, no small amount of anxiousness warred for position on the older girl's face. Nevertheless, above all else she seemed...happy, and that did much to put the boy's own nerves at ease. They were together in this, in more ways than one.

As Maggie closed the distance, Lincoln held out his hand to the raven haired girl. "Shall we?" He asked, trying his best to keep his voice steady. Much to his relief, her answer was swift, and without hesitation. Maggie snatched his hand in with her own, and tightly threaded her delicate fingers with his.

"Let's." She said, simply and without room for argument. Then, hand in hand, the pair headed towards the gates of Dairyland Amoosement Park.

* * *

Lucy Loud wasn't happy. This wasn't an unusual state of being for the young Goth, as her interests called for a fairly specific degree of unhappiness in her life, a mixture which, axiomatically, would result in a very distinct subset of Goth-flavored joy. However, this called for a carefully curated variety of cultivated misery, and watching her older brother treat another woman that she herself wished to be treated, was not the sort of suffering the aspired towards. Particularly when the other woman in question was not too dissimilar to herself in both appearance and temperament.

Almost of their own volition, Lucy's traitorous eyes flicked downward to her nonexistent bust line, and she let out a quiet, non-enunciated sigh. Well, not too dissimilar in _most_ respects, at least. At least this was fairly clear cut evidence that Lincoln was attracted to dark haired girls who didn't spend much time in the sun. She just needed to increase her milk-intake. Considerably.

"Excuse me, miss. I couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be—"

"No thank you."

Lucy twitched in irritation and glanced behind her. She'd had her misgivings about bringing Leni along on this mission. For one, Lucy just worked better alone. This was equal parts a scouting and surveillance mission. It was important to keep an eye on Lincoln and make sure that nothing especially untoward occurred on this date. Specifically, a another attempt to abduct her brother. However, the raven haired seductress currently occupying his thoughts had demonstrated a strange propensity towards leaning over and giving Lincoln an eyeful of her expansive cleavage with an alarming degree of frequency, so Lucy had taken it upon herself to expand her mission parameters to include ensuring _that_ particular behavior went no further. For Lincoln's own good, of course. She was fairly certain her sisters would agree with her assessment.

"Hey there, pretty lady. How's about you and me—"

"Aw, how sweet. But no."

Again, Lucy twitched violently. The _problem_ , was the surveillance called for discretion. And while she herself was a master of blending into a crowd—

"Why hello—"

"Nope!"

Leni was emphatically _not_.

Lucy pivoted in her seat, trying simultaneously to keep one eye on the happy(?) couple, while also addressing the adjacent problem. To her credit, Leni had tried. The fashionista had, wholly of her own initiative, decided to actually _wear_ the sunglasses that normally rested upon her head, unused. And without her trademarked headgear, Lucy was forced to grudgingly admit that the older girl didn't quite look like herself.

"Um—"

"Thank you! But no thank you!"

The problem was that there wasn't much you could do to change the fact that Leni Loud was a blonde, statuesque bombshell. And having a girl like that sit all by herself, unaccompanied by any potential paramour seemed like an open invitation for any and all potential suitors to try their luck. The line to ask Leni out had grown so long, and so fast, that Lucy was beginning to worry that park attendees had mistaken it for the line to a new ride or something. Which...it was, after a fashion, she supposed. Just not one that was open to the general public.

"I'm going ahead, Leni." She said, as the watched the latest victim of Leni's charms walk dejectedly away, only to quickly have his spot filled by the next hopeful.

"Aw." Leni protested, pouting cutely. "But I thought we were gonna be incognita together, Lucy."

" _Incognito_." Lucy corrected her for the thousandth time that day.

"Gazuntite." Leni replied, completing the ritual.

Lucy rolled her eyes, but pressed forward anyway. "We _are_ , Leni. But there's only so much we can observe from here. I'm going to get closer."

"Want me to come with?" Asked the blonde, seemingly oblivious to the _pair_ of suitors that were now trying to get her attention. Both of them girls.

"No." Came Lucy's flat reply, a bit more harsh than she'd intended. "We need multiple vantage points on our target. You continue to observe from here while I try to shadow them a bit more closely."

This seemed to pass the Leni test. "Okay." She said, nodding sagely. "Then I'll keep watching Linky from here."

"Fantastic." Lucy grumbled, practically leaping from her seat and diving into the crowd, surrendering to its natural ebb and flow as it brought her closer towards her prey.

* * *

"Hiya!" Lincoln yelled as he let fly another baseball. "Dangit." He grumbled, as once again, the boy failed to hit his target.

Lucy had been watching this pattern repeat for some time now. Lincoln had promised his date that he would win her a prize from one of the carnival styled gaming booths that littered the area. One of those games where you tried to knock down a stack of bottles, in spite of the fact that the game was almost certainly rigged against him. Unfortunately, Lincoln had yet to earn the opportunity to _be_ properly scammed. Lucy loved her big brother with all her heart. He was kind, and brave, and his frequent training sessions with Lynn had cultivated a lean, athletic body that had made its way into many of the young girl's dreams. However, for all his progress as a defender of humanity—

"Dangit!"

She sighed. Lincoln Loud still couldn't throw to save his life. He'd failed, quite miserably, if she was being completely honest. And it was a testament to just how much Maggie seemed to like her brother, that the older girl continued to dutifully stand by and cheer the boy on. It was getting to the point where Lucy was seriously considering sneaking into the booth and leveling the playing field a bit. Fortunately, she didn't need to.

As Lincoln reached into his pocket, undoubtedly to fish out a few more dollars and request another try, Maggie stepped forward and gently placed one hand upon the boy's shoulder.

"Let me try this time." Said Maggie, so softly that Lucy was barely able to hear her. The older girl turned to the portly man who was running the booth, reaching into her purse as she did so. "I'd like to play this time."

"On the house." Said the man, holding up one hand to forestall any payment. He didn't even bother to try hiding the bemusement upon his face. "Your boy's put enough money into this thing. Go ahead and try your luck, miss."

"I won't be needing any." Still, Maggie nodded gratefully to the man, before picking up the balls that were offered to her and taking her spot. Lucy leaned forward with interest. For all her...physical attributes, Maggie didn't strike Lucy as being particularly athletic. Certainly not more than her brother. So she was very curious as to just how the older girl expected to—

"Pew." Maggie intoned, forming a gun with her left hand and pointing it at the stack of bottles. To Lucy's surprise, a small blast of obsidian energy errupted from her outstretched digit. It flew directly towards her target—

_KABOOM_

—And exploded. Mercifully small enough that no damage was done to the booth itself, beyond a few singe marks on the interior. The bottles, however, had been vaporized. Maggie turned back to the man running the game and held out her hands expectantly.

"You...uh." The man blinked slowly, seemingly trying to process this turn of events. "You kind of blew up my bottles, kid."

"I did." Maggie nodded. "But I also knocked them over." Silently, the buxom girl indicated a few bits of bottle which seemed to have survived the blast, albeit still smoldering. The man chewed his lip thoughtfully.

Finally, he shrugged. "Eh, fair enough." And with that, he turned to the prize wall behind him.

Lincoln approached the pair, his eyes wide with surprise. "You blew up the bottles." He said.

"Yes." Maggie nodded again. "But I also knocked them over." She turned back to the man still fussing at the prize wall. "I want the big cow, please."

"The cow's a mid-tier prize." He corrected her. "You knocked down _all_ the bottles. That means you get the grand prize. Ah, here it is." Having apparently found what he was looking for, the game operator spun towards the couple and deposited a mishapen green lump on the countertop.

There was a moment of silence as Maggie and Lincoln stared at the object. "W-what...uh..." Lincoln ventured. "What is _that_ supposed to be?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The man said with a laugh, patting the...thing with one hand. "Why this is a genuine stuffed Gigant Green. Only available through Dairlyland. As well as certain select secondary retailers. Enjoy!"

Maggie took the doll(?) in her arms, and from her hiding spot, Lucy strained to get a better view. Now that she had an idea of what it was _supposed_ to be, Lucy could _sort_ of see it? The doll was vaguely human shaped, green fabric arranged in a vague facsimile of Leni's costume, and topped with a flesh colored lump adorned with stringy, yellow "hair." It looked less like Leni than it did the unknown species that might one day evolve _into_ a Leni, but now she could _kind_ of see it.

Maggie, for her part, didn't seem particularly enthused by her prize. "Here." She said, handing it off to Lincoln. "You can have it."

"But I was trying to win it for you!" He protested, pushing it back towards her.

"W-well then, how about you keep it for me." She said, gently pushing the doll back towards Lincoln. "Then I can come to your house, and visit it. A-nd...you."

"Oh." Lincoln replied, gulping nervously. "W-well, I guess that'd be...okay..."

Lucy could feel her gorge begin to rise as the two just stared at each other awkwardly, blushing and stammering without managing to actually _say_ anything. It was at this point that the young girl's stomach began to growl. She glanced worriedly at the pair, but they still just staring dumbly at each other. _Clearly_ this was going to take a while. Long enough that she'd have time to grab a snack and something to drink, probably.

Lucy rose from her hiding spot and stretched her tiny limbs, only barely managing to avoid smacking another girl who was passing by.

"Whoops." Said Lucy, quickly glancing back at her targets, worried that she might have noticed her slip up. Fortunately she'd gone unnoticed. As usual.

"Sorry about that." She apologized, looking her almost-victim up and down. The other girl wasn't much taller than her, wearing a plaid blue skirt, and a blue shirt. There was something strangely...forgettable about her, the girls' only noteworthy feature being that she wore her hair long, to the point where it drooped down and covered half her face.

"I-it's fine." The girl stuttered, waving Lucy off and pushing onward. Lucy turned to consider the girl briefly, before shrugging, and continuing on her way. There was something strangely irritating about the quiet, easily missed girl with a hair style that obscured her face, but Lucy chose not to ponder it any further. After all, not _everything_ in her life needed to be of significance. Sometimes strange girls were just strange girls.

Had Lucy lingered just a little longer, she might have heard a strange noise emitting from the other girl. One which sounded strangely similar to that of a camera lens finding its focus...

* * *

"So what are you calling _this_ one?" Fiona asked, turning away from the office television screen and glancing back at her boss.

 ** _"The Shy QT."_** Said Darkness gesturing grandly. **_"The latest in top of the line surveillance equipment."_**

"Because nothing says 'surveillance', like a camera shaped like some nerd's fantasy girlfriend." Fiona deadpanned, shaking her head in exasperation. "Honestly, where do you _get_ these stupid ideas?"

"Market research, focus testing, and valuable input from our affiliates." Replied a low, sultry voice. One that most decidedly did _not_ belong to the cosmic space horror sitting across from her. Fiona spun around to see the familiar, shapely form of a Thicc QT stride through the office door. However, there was something...different about this one. Talking aside, she carried herself with a purpose that was not typically present in the relatively mindless creatures. Moreover, her eyes were bright and alert, and possessing an unmistakable gleam of genuine intelligence. She _almost_ looked like...a person, in that respect.

"You're...different." Fiona observed, sitting up in her seat so she could more readily ascertain the new arrival.

 ** _"That's because she_ is _different."_** Darkness replied, motioning to the yellow clad woman. **_"I'd actually been planning on putting this off a bit longer, but what the heck? Fiona, I'd like to introduce you to your new supervisor—"_**

"QT Prime." Said the woman, closing the distance and graciously extending one had to Fiona. "Charmed, I'm sure."


End file.
